Runners? Safety?

I used to run through a cemetery. It isn't as uncommon as one might think. Actually I've seen quite of few people do that. Anyway I don't anymore because it is too isolated.
Go somewhere more public to run. Always trust your gut. I've changed my running routes because I've gotten uneasy feeling from people around me. Like once smelling cigarette smoke without seeing somebody while running near a park (near a wooded area). Yep I turned right around.

Did they have a bicycle and/or a golf club?

Did they have a bicycle and/or a golf club?

Do you have guys riding around on bikes holding golf clubs where you live too?! The first time I saw it I thought it was odd. Now I just see them everywhere around here. What a strange thing to be catching on.

The running-in-cemeteries thing is pretty normal here, as well. Where there are paved roads, there are runners. We don't run over graves or anything, but through the pathways, making sure to stay away from anyone mourning loved ones. A lot of people here use cemeteries to walk their dogs, go for a jog, etc.

As far as the creepy men in the car go: They could very well have been maintenance, blocking off part of the road for something happening later. However, given that you were alone there and your kids were also in the cemetery, I think you have every right to be suspicious. But these creepy, paranoia-inducing things are normally one-off happenings, so hopefully they just don't show up again!

Edit: And as far as safety/protection goes, I run trails and through all kinds of neighborhoods in my town, and I've never carried anything more than a phone. Besides the occasional leer-er or cat-caller, I've never had to deal with any mid-run problems. I feel safe enough knowing I can call someone. And besides, with ladies' workout clothes being so tight-fitting and pocket-free, where am I going to store some pepper spray anyhow?!

But I think everyone is so hung up on WHERE the OP was running, the point of the post is getting missed.

And this surprises you why?

I find it interesting that there are cemeteries out there big enough for people to actually run in. The ones where I live are really small.

Anyway, OP: I would have been a little freaked out too. Yes they could have been nice and had zero bad intentions in mind but you never know. Heck I got freaked out once when I came out of the grocery store. I was walking to my car in the (poorly lit) parking lot. As I walk towards it this van pulled up next to the drivers side, like really close. There were two guys sitting in the front seat. Again, dark parking lot + 1 woman walking towards car + rape van = me feeling uneasy. While I did get into my car I crawled in through the passengers side making sure I locked the door after I got in. I was kind of glad I did too because after I got in and started the car and started to pull away the side door opened and there were at least 3 more guys in the back. Was I being paranoid? Maybe but I would personally rather be paranoid than dead.

I think you were fine with listening to your instincts, even if they didn't have "bad" intentions.

make and model of the car along with a description of the occupants to the maintenance staff.... they may work there or they may know them, if you get a negative you report it with the local police department. This would at least alert authorities that they may have an issue in that area and protects you, your children and others that use the space for exercise.

Change up your route regularly. Run with others around if you can. Carry your cell phone and do not hesitate to dial 911. The local police will be happy, I say happy, to see you safe, than sorry.

I usually jog on snowmobile trails in my town. Sometimes my children ride their bikes with me and sometimes I go alone. My children know where the closest "ok" houses and businesses are, and have been told to go there as quick as they can if anything happens. I always carry my phone in my hand with headphones attached, but only in one ear. If my gut tells me something is "off" about someone nearby I'll slow down and pretend to be talking to someone until I'm further away. On one occasion, I remember seeing a guy walking down the trail towards me and I immediately turned around and started running back the way I came. If he was just a regular guy, I'm sure he thought I was crazy, but who cares? He just looked at me funny. I do also carry pepper spray around my wrist. I don't know that I'd be able to use it quick enough or aim it accurately, but isn't it better to have it than not?

In my experience, I'd had more trouble with animals than people. I've been cornered twice by dogs, hence the pepper spray I now carry.

Good for you for going with your gut in this instance. Whether they had good intentions or not (and I'm betting on not), any "normal" adult man should know that behavior would be creepy.

Lastly - I used to run in a cemetary, and find nothing at all wrong with that! My adopted grammy was buried there and I think she laughed everytime I huffed by.

I honestly didn't realize that this would be such a controversial topic! This is the norm where I live. We do not have public tracks for walking, the only one is at the local high school, and you have to be a student or faculty to access it. We have rural roads with no side walks and there are a lot of hills and curves. It is not safe to just bike, or walk, on the roads. We don't even have side walks for pedestrians. We do have some picnic trails and hiking trails around the local lake, but they are not suitable for beginning runners, or for children, as they are usually along cliffs and ridgelines.

After an incident were a runner was hit by a car (drunk driver - broad daylight) while on the side of the road, there were announcements made on the news channel and in the papers, that it was not safe for foot traffic to be on the roads. Thankfully, the man lived, and recovered to full physical health. The local police even requested that recreational walkers, runners, and bikers use other locations for their sport, such as.... a local cemetery with paved roads. They even gave a list of the ones that gave permission, the one we use being one of them.

As to respecting people visiting their loved ones graves, we keep our distance. My kids are never far enough away from me that I have to call them back. They are not loud or unruly, we stay off the grass, and away from every ones flowers and decorations. When someone comes in, I just change my route to give them their privacy and space. If we were to come at a time when a funeral is in progress, or even finished but still had the canopies and seats out for the family, we leave. Simple as that. Where we live, this isn't disrespectful. But I've never been any where else, so I don't know how it is in other places.

But- I will say that this is the only time that I have ever been made to feel uncomfortable or "threatened" by any one. At this location, or in any other place around our town, good or bad. And foolish of me or not, I did feel threatened by these two particular people, I was shaken up a bit by it, because it caught me off guard. Hence the question as to what others do for safety. Thank you to those of you who answered me with real suggestions and advice.

It's quite common where I live as well. My husband has a real issue with me running on our road, and especially if I have my ear buds in, so I have tried to go to walking trails, etc. If the family cemetary were closer I would go there routinely. Sorry you were spooked. I took this question to my wall and asked what others thought on my FL about running/biking/walking in cemetaries and it is quite varied, and seems regional. My only suggestion would be maybe letting someone know (if you see maintenance folks, or if they have a building, as some do have a FT staff) that you are there with your children and had some concerns from the last time you wre there. THey might just keep an eye on your guys better if they know you were worried.

As a teen I worked a summer job in the cemetery where my Dad was foreman. Many times there were those running. The terrain is perfect with the many hills and different directions. I never considered it disrespectful at all, to each his own. The more activity in the cemetery the less concern of vandalism to the headstones of peoples loved ones. I run on a trail that is secluded in some spots, I have a stun gun that I am more than willing to use. I have been approached by stray dogs on occasion. With society today, you have to stay aware of your surroundings, especially with the babies in tow.

I honestly didn't realize that this would be such a controversial topic! This is the norm where I live. We do not have public tracks for walking, the only one is at the local high school, and you have to be a student or faculty to access it. We have rural roads with no side walks and there are a lot of hills and curves. It is not safe to just bike, or walk, on the roads. We don't even have side walks for pedestrians. We do have some picnic trails and hiking trails around the local lake, but they are not suitable for beginning runners, or for children, as they are usually along cliffs and ridgelines.

After an incident were a runner was hit by a car (drunk driver - broad daylight) while on the side of the road, there were announcements made on the news channel and in the papers, that it was not safe for foot traffic to be on the roads. Thankfully, the man lived, and recovered to full physical health. The local police even requested that recreational walkers, runners, and bikers use other locations for their sport, such as.... a local cemetery with paved roads. They even gave a list of the ones that gave permission, the one we use being one of them.

As to respecting people visiting their loved ones graves, we keep our distance. My kids are never far enough away from me that I have to call them back. They are not loud or unruly, we stay off the grass, and away from every ones flowers and decorations. When someone comes in, I just change my route to give them their privacy and space. If we were to come at a time when a funeral is in progress, or even finished but still had the canopies and seats out for the family, we leave. Simple as that. Where we live, this isn't disrespectful. But I've never been any where else, so I don't know how it is in other places.

But- I will say that this is the only time that I have ever been made to feel uncomfortable or "threatened" by any one. At this location, or in any other place around our town, good or bad. And foolish of me or not, I did feel threatened by these two particular people, I was shaken up a bit by it, because it caught me off guard. Hence the question as to what others do for safety. Thank you to those of you who answered me with real suggestions and advice.

I need to quit reading the other responses (they are starting to get repetitive), so apologies if this has been covered already. First, I live in a city and we don't run in cemeteries here, but I don't think it's at all strange if that's what your community does, so people just need to chill out on that. Different towns have totally different social norms.

I like giving people the benefit of the doubt, but realize I need to pay attention to my gut sometimes too. One time I extended a walk significantly because there was a group of guys kind of hovering near my car (at a park). There wasn't anyone else around, and I just wasn't comfortable, so I walked all the way back to work instead of going to my car. I trusted my gut and got a good workout!

In your case, first I would take a break from running there at that particular time for awhile. If these people do happen to have bad intentions, the easiest way for them to find you would be to return at the same time on another day. So mix it up for awhile.

I also pay attention to my surroundings, and kind of make it obvious that I'm doing that. Like, I'll look over my shoulder somewhat frequently. I try to not look paranoid, but I don't give off the vibe that I'm totally zoned out.

I also don't venture to remote areas. This is the city-girl in me; I just feel kind of creeped out if I'm the only one in a park or something, like there'd be no one to help me if someone did want to attack me.

I used to carry pepper spray if I was walking after dark near by house, but I do understand why people wouldn't. But at least if my own pepper spray was used against me it wouldn't be as catastrophic as if my own gun (which I don't own anyhow) was used against me. (Assuming I wasn't peppersprayed and then put in a car or something.)

Last, it can't hurt to let someone know where you're going. Obviously if something terrible happens, it might be "too late," but at least knowing where you were and when you were there could help people find you quickly.

Years ago on Oprah, I saw a tip that I've never forgotten. It's less related to walking, but for what it's worth ...If you're in a parking lot, and someone grabs you, you're supposed to throw your keys AWAY from you. Apparently most of the time the "bad guy" wants your keys or your car, so will go after those and that gives you a jump start on running away. I suppose the same could be true if you're carrying a wallet or phone on trails - worth a shot anyhow.

Skateboarding in a cemetery? Condoned by the church? Are they Unitarians or something?

And you're more likely to get zapped by lightning than to be attacked. It's the irrational effect of anecdotal "evidence" that makes you scared. If running outside is that scary, go hop on a treadmill at Planet Fitness.

One in six women gets zapped by lighting?

The chance of an average person living in the US being struck by lightning in a given year is estimated at 1 in 500,000, while the chance of being struck by lightning in a lifetime is 1 in 6250 (estimated lifespan of 80 years)

1. I would let the police know if you really felt it was suspicious. Maybe they could make more drives around. Whether you are running or if you are visiting a grave alone, suspicious behavior is suspicious behavior. The best deterrent is to be aware and report anything that needs to be reported,

2. As for your choice of locations, I worked in a beautiful old cemetery years ago and we welcomed people to enjoy the grounds. To us, it was not a place to mourn, but a beautiful place to enjoy. People would come to have lunch on a bench, take pictures, go for a walk (this was before running was very popular) etc. In many countries, the cemetery is a place to go to enjoy your visit with the departed. You can take a blanket and a picnic and make it a family outing. Unless the cemetery has restrictions about biking or running posted at the gate, you are fine. What a better way to visit a place of death, than to enjoy life!

^^I agree with both these statements.