How can i succeed with my depressing life ?

I've been doing excellent for 4 days till...
I had this very ugly argument with someone and ended up eating my emotions out :(
Everytime i do good for a litlle something happens (usually arguments ) and i fail
I feel like a loser , I dont think my weight loss journey is ever gonna be a nsv ...
Sorry but i had to vent ...
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Replies

  • MissMonicaC
    MissMonicaC Posts: 67 Member
    You need to change your mindset, and that comes with time, and small changes.. In my experience anyway. Keep positive. A journal, happy thoughts. The way I think of it.. You will never achieve weight loss if you don't start you know..
  • 98777
    98777 Posts: 108 Member
    If you get your mind right, you can do anything. I promise you.

    My life is very depressing and I didn't think I could do it, but I am. Each day.

    I have lost 30 lb, that's your entire ticker. I have only a little more to go.

    It's possible, that's all you need to know. And you can do it.
  • Forty6and2
    Forty6and2 Posts: 2,492 Member
    Life happens, it does. I fell off the wagon when I was told that my mom's condition is terminal. I gained some weight back and then I decided that me gaining weight (and eating everything in sight) isn't going to make my mom live longer. Life always has a funny way of trying to knock us down when we're feeling good, but you have to get back up. Do it for yourself, you deserve it.

    That's about as inspirational as I can get in a post, so I'm just going to end it there. And post a turtle gif

    Funny_gifs_terrifying_turtle_Kodi93_i_haz_gifs_Take_2-s320x240-264342-580.gif

    Hope this helped in some way.
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    I'm not not an emotional eater, I'm actually the opposite, I lose my appetite. But many years ago I was a smoker and would habitually light up when upset. When I quit I would still get upset and at first my natural reaction was to want a cigarette but I firmly repeated "You don't do that anymore". I'd go for a fast walk instead to burn off energy or mop the floor, scrub my tub, something to work off energy and calm myself down. Start thinking of some replacement strategies.
  • mspoopoo
    mspoopoo Posts: 500 Member
    Here is a secret I learned a few years ago.

    Just stop arguing with people. It takes 2 for an argument.
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,731 Member
    Some studies have been done which indicate that exercise may be even better for fighting depression and lifting mood than prescription drugs. It might be worth trying a walk instead of a snack next time you're upset. It will get you away from the food, at the very least, and give you time to calm down, but it might also help your mood, not to mention burning some calories.
  • traceywoody
    traceywoody Posts: 233 Member
    I was told once, by a very wise person, that it helps to see everything that comes our way as not an obstacle, but an opportunity. We are all going to have things in our lives that crop up, sometimes everyday, that will trigger an emotional response in us. We then have an opportunity. We can either choose something destructive(like eating our emotions) or we can choose to do something constructive(like use the anger/frustration etc to fuel us into exercising). We are not victims of our circumstances. We are never completely powerless. Taking a deep breath before we choose can help to put us in a better frame of mind to make that choice. Decide what it is that you really want, and don't let circumstances, or emotions, or anyone or anything else control your decision. You are in control. You can do it. I believe in you.
  • Thank you , your words bought tears to my eyes
  • I was told once, by a very wise person, that it helps to see everything that comes our way as not an obstacle, but an opportunity. We are all going to have things in our lives that crop up, sometimes everyday, that will trigger an emotional response in us. We then have an opportunity. We can either choose something destructive(like eating our emotions) or we can choose to do something constructive(like use the anger/frustration etc to fuel us into exercising). We are not victims of our circumstances. We are never completely powerless. Taking a deep breath before we choose can help to put us in a better frame of mind to make that choice. Decide what it is that you really want, and don't let circumstances, or emotions, or anyone or anything else control your decision. You are in control. You can do it. I believe in you.
  • GreatSetOfBrains
    GreatSetOfBrains Posts: 675 Member
    Sadly I'm here too! I'm very stressed!
  • traceywoody
    traceywoody Posts: 233 Member
    :) YVW All the best on your journey.
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
    We all have bad days. Sometimes bad weeks...even bad months at times! Pick yourself up and keep going! You WILL make it if you don't give up!
  • Ilikelamps
    Ilikelamps Posts: 482 Member
    x4HFd63.jpg
  • tmwsiy71
    tmwsiy71 Posts: 4 Member
    I will say the following. I'm not going to make this about me, but i will simply say that many of us have some bad problems....difficult problems. You never know what baggage somebody else is carrying. But you are here to try to add a positive. If you can do something about the negatives, do it. If you can't...then work on adding other positive things. Your lifestyle change will not solve all your problems, but dammit it's something you want to do. It's something you can be proud of and feel good about...and most of all, it's in your control. Don't rob yourself of this.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    For a long time I told myself that if life would ever calm down, then I could lose the weight. But I eventually realized that part of losing the weight (and being able to keep it off) would be learning to use other methods of coping to deal with my stress. It took time, and falling off the wagon a few (like a million, and I still do occasionally), but I did it. You can, too.

    One thing I did that helped me was to ask myself this: Did that food improve my situation? How do I feel now that I ate it? (usually worse) Eventually it caused me to realize that eating my feels really didn't help, and that it really only made me feel worse in the long run. Sometimes all you can do is feel your feels.
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
    You can succeed through changing something.

    It's easier said than done, of course. But the principle is simple.
    Try to find out what bothers you in your life. Write it down, maybe.
    Some things can be changed, some things are not in your control.

    If you can change certain things, find out whether it's a priority to change it or not.
    If you cannot change it, you can still change how you react to it, which matters a lot as well.

    Food is just a short- term- solution that hinders you in finding long- term- peace. It's not a way to cope with feelings.
    Emotional Hunger/ Emotional eating is understandable, but not helpful. You won't be able to stop with that over night, but it is possible to change that. :flowerforyou:
  • Thank you all !
    I really appreciate it
    I will try to use all these tips and see where life takes me
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    if_britney_can_make_it_through_2007-4892.jpg

    I try to make it through every day. Most of the time, I do fine. Occasionally, I get severely depressed and eat up. I'm putting my mental health above my physical health because when I'm depressed, I get suicidal and self-harming. If eating something will stop me from hurting myself, I will eat it. I do my best to pick myself up and get back on track the next day.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    Attitude is a component in anything you do in life. How you view successes, failures, setbacks, relationships, etc. will definitely mold you into the person you are. If you don't like the way you are, then change it. Find the right people/way to approach this that is doable for you.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • kahdxoom
    kahdxoom Posts: 129
    I have depressive/ anxiety disorder. Food and alcohol were my only remedies. I live in a cold state where weather has kept me indoors. I deal with it by keeping a gratitude journal. Remembering where I was and where I am now and where I want to be. Keep the faith and remember yesterday is gone and tomorrow is full of possibilities.
  • MrsRatfire
    MrsRatfire Posts: 102
    I have done this myself- comfort or stress eating. It has been a life time battle for me. 19 days ago, I started tracking everything I eat. Higher, lower, level, right or wrong. I have gradually, reduced my intake. I fall off the wagon now and then, I enter it all. I refuse to punish myself, I refuse to b miserable over a food choice. Lesson #1 You are tracking and logging- no more no less. Lesson 2# You are not on a diet, you are tracking and logging, that is it. Lesson #3: There is NO wrong! You are building a habit- therefore the entry is not relevant.

    You have been starting your diet tomorrow for many years, than this time is needed. I have, at times, actually succeeded and lost weight. Most of it, over and over, gained back. Some not.

    So, after all these years of starting the diet tomorrow, and hating myself when I fell off- what difference does it make if it takes me a full 30 days to get the diet where I really want it? It doesn't. There are 11 more months left in the year.

    Every week, each Sunday, I was able to lower my intake in general for the week. I do not mean adjusting my settings, I mean I just started lowering my intake of food. I am becoming less and less obsessed with it. I have been doing this for 19 days now. I have fallen off….I entered the food. Those days became fewer, the mistakes less and less, the better choices, more and more. I am eating less calories this week than the any day in the 3 weeks prior. But, I am only on day 19. I ONLY lower the calorie intake if I consistently come UNDER that amount- then I work on that, getting that under. And not everyday- I am human, some days, I will break and eat something that really jacks it up, or too much volume- much more than I really want or need. I log every crumb as I do not care how much I am over - the point in week one is JUST TO LOG.

    After all these years, I can take at least 30 days to get myself on a weight loss program….a life program. After all these years, why do we think we can wake up tomorrow, and cut it all away? If people could do that, the world would not have an obesity epidemic. I am under goal so far today, yesterday, about 300 over. SO WHAT. I had days that were far worse in week one and two.

    Build the habit. As of now. No starting your diet tomorrow. Start logging, everything. No anxiety. See the magic that will come when you feel in control, your habits improve with hardly trying. On my current calorie level, I would lose a pound or 1.5 a week. My current goal is to come in on this schedule each week. If I don't, I am leaving it there, forever if need be. Start by setting your goal to lose .5 pounds a week, and see how often in 7 days, you can hit it. It you see some consistency hitting it, move the calorie count down. Repeat as needed.

    When you find your self criticizing YOU- tell yourself to STOP. Addictive eaters seem to all have that in common. They take it out on themselves. You deserve a MONTH to start a lifetime diet. Believe me, this time will fly by and soon you will be on a reduced intake with NO SUFFERING.
  • MrsRatfire
    MrsRatfire Posts: 102
    the turtle chasing the cat is hysterical!
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    You know you are an emotional eater (so am I). If you don't want to fall back on food next time something happens and you feel sad or stressed or angry or worthless, etc., maybe plan some things that you will do to deal with the bad feelings. Have it in your mind that when you are upset or feeling bad, before even considering food, that you will go meditate or go for a walk or listen to music (or walk while listening to music) or journal or take a kickboxing class or get your nails done, etc. Part of it is trying to stop using food as comfort, but another part is finding other ways to comfort yourself.
  • Megabot
    Megabot Posts: 173 Member
    You have to take control of it. Part of that is owning it. Is it your life, or someone elses?
    It's yours.

    It sounds hard, but you got to tell yourself you're worth it, and no one is gonna take it from you without a fight. I had a lot of problems growing up in a depressed household, with depression, with other people that had depression (we're talking should've been medicated, really) and it was excruciating.

    At the recommendation of a friend, at the beginning of summer after college, I posted a sign on *my ceiling* that said "You are a mother****ing badass." I wished I could be a badass. So I saw it every day when I woke up, and usually I didn't believe it. So it made me laugh OUT LOUD at how absurd it was. Then I'd get up, because I felt good. It was so great. I also listened to a lot of punk rock which got out a lot of underlying anger for me. I ended up moving out of the house that fall, I ended up feeling great, and I got a job in a field I love.

    I still struggle with depression, but I work at it. It's hard, but you can do it.
  • Emotional eating is what kneecaps most of us.

    Something I found helped me was to think of how much *better* I'd handle life's problems as a leaner, sharper individual. That doesn't mean having to be at your goal weight - it can just be the satisfaction of controlling your diet each day.

    Here's the thing about any weight loss journey: you have to be prepared for those first two or three weeks. Whether its arguments or a need to feel good or to lessen anxiety or whatever it is, you will be seriously tempted. Abandoning a junk food-heavy diet is going to bring about withdrawal symptoms, just as stopping smoking would. So if you can brace yourself for that pain and temptation, then it becomes easier to endure it. You made it through four days this time - resolve to make it through 21 days next time, regardless of whatever negativity is thrown your way in your life.
  • I will try my best to put all advices into action
    But its hard to not "beat myself up" after i woke up and ate an entire small jar of chocolate spread , imagine how crazy that is ?
    Who'd ever eat an ENTIRE JAR OF CHOCOLATE SPREAD ?
    I feel like the 4 days i did so good went down the drain ...
    But this is it I will start NOW for me and my litlle ones that i love ...
  • desimia1
    desimia1 Posts: 60
    You have to take that anger, sadness, depression.........use that negative energy and work it off. I find that I workout even harder when I am upset and then when I'm done, I feel a lot better. The problem may still be around but I feel better! Things are going to happen everyday and you cant allow yourself to become vicitm to an ugly cycle. You can do this !!! Get after it !!!
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    if_britney_can_make_it_through_2007-4892.jpg

    Britney is a spoiled idiot who's completely responsible for her own issues.
    Most of us wouldn't be stressed out with her money and advantages.
  • MrsRatfire
    MrsRatfire Posts: 102
    I like this post. I have been doing well, but I will make a DECISION for a fall back plan if I find myself facing emotional eating. Thank you. It is a DECISION to eat, we would like to believe it is not, but it is. Maybe I will go outside and chase butterflies! That would turn a negative into a big positive!
  • laura97z
    laura97z Posts: 18
    I think what's important to remember in EVERY situation is that you are valuable. And because of that, you deserve more than to treat yourself in a way that, in the end, just makes you feel guilty and worthless. You will slip up- it is inevitable. But after the fact, you need to remind yourself that you are loved, beautiful, and tomorrow is another day.