Runners? Safety?

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Replies

  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member

    Your answer to this, is that women should be less vigilant because you've had to spend two minutes talking to the cops a few times.

    try answering "what are you doing here" to men with guns and badges from the time you are 12 till the time you die and get back to me on if it's a big deal or not.

    I've had the cops follow me home after I circled the neighborhood a few times because it was the only way to get them down. So, yeah. I've had to explain out of the ordinary behavior to the cops.
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    Davpul does have a point with his posts...and I am going to have to side with him on this debate. The circumstances of the OP being followed are during the optimum place and time to run. She had several people around who could help, identify or curb the situation had it turned dangerous. And while the OP stated that the graveyard is open for recreational use...I have to wonder how many people truly use it for that purpose and how many people truly know that it can be used for that type of purpose. After all...the very first response posts were of people questioning my the OP was running in that type of environement...presuming those people questioning were wondering about the respectfullness of it.

    There is only so much safety you can do. I live in one of the most crime driven cities in the country...but still feel safe out on the road running by myself. I don't wear my head phones that often, I run in common areas and usually I am with my running group. I keep good situational awareness to everything that is around me.

    And Dav...I do get your point of view...especially with the racist steriotyping you have probably been subjected to over the course of your life time.

    OP...the best advise I can give you is to just stay vigilant. It is quite possible that not everyone knows that you can use that graveyard for recreational activities. It is possible that the van was ground workers who are being extra vigilant themselves and so a miss communication on intentions on both your parts. If you still feel ackward then shift up where you were running and go to a public park for a bit. That is one thing that I always do...change up my running schedule/route/times so that I am unpredictable.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member

    Your answer to this, is that women should be less vigilant because you've had to spend two minutes talking to the cops a few times.

    try answering "what are you doing here" to men with guns and badges from the time you are 12 till the time you die and get back to me on if it's a big deal or not.

    I've had the cops follow me home after I circled the neighborhood a few times because it was the only way to get them down. So, yeah. I've had to explain out of the ordinary behavior to the cops.

    He said SINCE YOU WERE 12, so like for decades. Not for just one day that one time when your kids couldn't sleep and good old cousin Hal pulled you over and you all got a giggle at why you were out in your nightie and rollers with the babies in carseats.

    That's a HELL of a lot different from how men on foot get questioned, DON'T even try to compare, I see it everyday in the city I live. You are SO OFF BASE it's appalling and ridiculous and I don't say this often but I'm gonna say it right now you really should just refrain from this point on about this particular point.

    My story... one time when I was shopping for makeup at Nordstrom a plainclothes security worker was looking at me, yeah TOTES THE SAME!!!...not!
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member

    Your answer to this, is that women should be less vigilant because you've had to spend two minutes talking to the cops a few times.

    try answering "what are you doing here" to men with guns and badges from the time you are 12 till the time you die and get back to me on if it's a big deal or not.

    I've had the cops follow me home after I circled the neighborhood a few times because it was the only way to get them down. So, yeah. I've had to explain out of the ordinary behavior to the cops.

    I don't think you can even compare the two. Davpul is talking about systematically and routinely having to explain *perfectly ordinary behavior.* He's not saying one time a cop gave him a hard time. He's saying consistently for his entire teenage-adult life, he's had to explain why he's doing things like walking down his own street or shopping at the mall.

    I don't have any idea what that's like and I'm willing to admit as much.


    eta: Also I don't think he was saying that women shouldn't have situational awareness. At least I didn't see him say anything of the kind.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Have we finally come to the conclusion that good judgment and common sense are not so common?
  • AtLeastOnceMore
    AtLeastOnceMore Posts: 304 Member
    Seriously ladies, cover it up a little. I know someone's going to call this slut-shaming, but it's just common sense. If you've got 90% of your body exposed or even are wearing totally skintight clothing then yes, you will attract more attention than a woman in less revealing clothes. I'm not saying you automatically become safe by dressing more modestly, but it's just one more little safety step you can take.

    Men and little kids, as well as women who are wearing burkas, flannelette PJ's and winter clothes that cover up nearly everything, are raped every single day so don't pull that **** with me. Repeat after me: The only people to blame for assault are the people who commit the assault. Jesus wept. Wearing clothes that are comfortable to run in is "common sense". If a man can't control his "urges", that's his effed up psychology and has nothing to do with the woman. God, I hate that this is still a thing! There is absolutely NO evidence to suggest a correlation between what a woman is wearing and the likelihood that she will be assaulted.

    I get that this was supposed to be a benign and 'helpful' comment, but if we followed every single guideline to avoid being raped, every woman everywhere would be a layer-wearing, anti-social, gun toting hermit with a security system, partner and big dog. How about this? We create a culture where we teach MEN not to rape, not women how to NOT be raped.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Seriously ladies, cover it up a little. I know someone's going to call this slut-shaming, but it's just common sense. If you've got 90% of your body exposed or even are wearing totally skintight clothing then yes, you will attract more attention than a woman in less revealing clothes. I'm not saying you automatically become safe by dressing more modestly, but it's just one more little safety step you can take.

    Men and little kids, as well as women who are wearing burkas, flannelette PJ's and winter clothes that cover up nearly everything, are raped every single day so don't pull that **** with me. Repeat after me: The only people to blame for assault are the people who commit the assault. Jesus wept. Wearing clothes that are comfortable to run in is "common sense". If a man can't control his "urges", that's his effed up psychology and has nothing to do with the woman. God, I hate that this is still a thing! There is absolutely NO evidence to suggest a correlation between what a woman is wearing and the likelihood that she will be assaulted.

    I get that this was supposed to be a benign and 'helpful' comment, but if we followed every single guideline to avoid being raped, every woman everywhere would be a layer-wearing, anti-social, gun toting hermit with a security system, partner and big dog. How about this? We create a culture where we teach MEN not to rape, not women how to NOT be raped.

    Oh good. This was the last ingredient we needed to step away from good judgment and common sense, and hop right into the morass of gender stereotyping, racial profiling, and BSC paranoia. Good thing I have my cup of coffee in hand . . .
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    I tend to avoid the places that don't have a lot of people.. Even if I have to run around slow people or constantly changing street lights.
  • Annalisa_87
    Annalisa_87 Posts: 56 Member
    Dogs are the trouble for me. It's like I'm a dog magnet. I start running and they come out of nowhere and chase me. That is at the park by the way, not when I'm street running lol.
  • Nickle526
    Nickle526 Posts: 239 Member
    This has been a really thought-provoking thread to read. I live in a very rural area which is a mix of farmland, woods, swamps, rivers, and a pretty low population. My biggest threat out here is probably wildlife. There are a fair amount of black bear, deer, moose etc. Not to mention dogs. What has helped my confidence is having thought out some "worst case scenarios" in regards to each individual animal. I have no problem kicking a dog in the face if it goes for me, and I turn around the second I see a moose. Black bear and deer startle pretty easy and haven't been that much of a problem. I'm glad to not live in fear of these things, and don't feel it necessary to carry any sort of protection.

    As far as people are concerned, I live in a safe area were random violence is pretty isolated. That being said, I used to work with a very violent population, and have extensive training on defending myself. I have a lot of experience putting that training into action. I also used to compete in martial arts. I think these things naturally empower me to not be so fearful. If I'm out running and a car slows down near me, I make eye contact with the driver to see what's up, but I don't really get weirded out. Usually it's something innocuous like giving me enough room on a narrow road, or swerving around a puddle to not splash me. Maybe sometimes people do check me out but whatever.

    As a side note, do any ladies remember hearing talks in school about rape? I don't remember what class it was apart of, but I do remember hearing about it in school. I just remember being told stuff like what to do after the rape and getting to the hospital so they can get a DNA sample. I remember the attitude being that if someone tried to rape you, it was an almost certainty that it would happen. I never heard about defending yourself. My hope is that if I was ever in that situation, my priority would be to extract the person's eyeball for a DNA sample. I just never remember putting up a fight being apart of the information and wonder what other people's experiences were.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Have we finally come to the conclusion that good judgment and common sense are not so common?

    Yes. Yes, we have.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Wow, page 1 of this thread sure looks different than it used to? GracieLynn was that your doing?
  • tanyoshka
    tanyoshka Posts: 50 Member
    I'd definitely go with the pepper spray. I run in the riddle of nowhere, so I take it mostly for the coyotes, but it still gives me peace of mind. It's also not heavy and doesn't bother me when I run (I have one that just clips on to my pants or a shirt pocket).
  • gracielynn1011
    gracielynn1011 Posts: 726 Member
    Wow, page 1 of this thread sure looks different than it used to? GracieLynn was that your doing?

    What are you talking about?
  • MrGonzo05
    MrGonzo05 Posts: 1,120 Member
    You are having a noisy family outing AT A CEMETERY. Harsh looks are justified.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Wow, page 1 of this thread sure looks different than it used to? GracieLynn was that your doing?

    What are you talking about?

    One of my posts was deleted. Obviously if you don't know what I'm talking about it wasn't you that reported it. I suspected it was that other lady anyways.

    I really can't imagine on what grounds she reported it and it got deleted though? Oh well, c'est la vie.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    You know that saying "just because it's legal doesn't make it right" ? It seems to apply here. You've gotten lots of hi fivers that it's okay and welcomed to do your thing at the cemetary and clearly the owners of that one condone and promote it. Hopefully this thread shed some light that not everyone feels that way, and I hope you'lll consider that this MAY have been a part of what went on that day. Obviously it's good to keep your wits about you and there is still a chance those guys meant ill. Bottom line is I'm glad you got home okay with your kids. That's the important part. You'll figure it out where and when to workout. Are there parks in the area to take the kids to?

    I'm just thinking if the local media and authorities were involved and concerned enough to issue warnings and options like this, they might have enought impetus to budget for some workout friendly parks, you know the kind with trails for running and workout equipment every so often on the route? Just an idea. :flowerforyou:
  • gracielynn1011
    gracielynn1011 Posts: 726 Member
    Oh, I hadn't been back on the first page to see that anything had changed. I have never bothered with reporting posts, I didn't think anything said was offensive. And even if it was, it's just the internet right? Lol.

    There are some small parks with just small play ground equipment. Not really suitable for bikes and such. I am going to a friends neighborhood next time, she has already talked to their neighborhood watch about it, so I'm good to go.
  • sikanna
    sikanna Posts: 6
    Whoa, the two people you saw were definitely sketchy. I would alert local police about your experience. Police may not (be able to ) do anything about it, but it only helps when multiple people report other people doing something sketchy.

    As for safety... I don't carry anything (other than some blinking lights if I'm running in early morning or late evening). I don't carry my phone or pepper spray because they're extra weight I'd rather not carry. But if I'm running place or time where and during which safety is a concern, I pay extra attention. I may not bring music with me or if I do, keep the volume super low. I'll look around me every now and then. I make sure to run well-lit areas, and areas that I know I can run to escape to (e.g. stores that are open late/early). It may not be the safest thing, but I find that trusting my instinct is a pretty good thing. If I sense someone or something alarming, I avoid it. They may not be sketchy at all, but better safe than sorry. I think you did the right thing by avoiding them.
  • runner475
    runner475 Posts: 1,236 Member
    I have heard of people running in cemeteries. It never occurred to me that it would be "disrespectful". What do I care if someone is running where one of my loved ones is burried? But I think everyone is so hung up on WHERE the OP was running, the point of the post is getting missed. WHAT should runners do to feel safe??? I run on my lunch break and I run down a little side street that isn't quite a street. It is along some business buildings. I have had two people stop and ask me directions. (This is road mainly for people to get to their parking lots for the business buildings - not really a "road"). One was a FedEx guy (shouldn't he have GPS??) and the other was a couple looking for one of the buisiness buildings around the corner. The couple didn't make me nervous... but the big guy in the FedEx van - he didn't do or say anything sketchy, it just made me wonder about my safety.


    Are you serious? Fed-ex guy made you nervous. Granted he has GPS but if I see a woman running my 1st impression is she is from the neighborhood or knows the neighborhood pretty well to point me to my destination that I'm jus' unable to locate.
    Your logic is ridiculous. Besides he didn't even talk to you or say anything.

    Do you know how difficult it is to get a Fed-ex or UPS job and what kind of rigorous background check goes into hiring the individual. Try submitting an application and see you get the job. One traffic ticket and your application would be thrown in trash.

    My best suggestion for your safety - hop on threadmill and/or run in place at home, woman. It's not fair to be suspicious of hard working people jus' about sincerely doing their job.

    Edited - still laughing at your fear of Big Fed-ex guy. Ridiculous. Something is wrong in your approach.

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