How do you get past the mental aspect?

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Short history:
I have had a weight issue most of my adult life. Got up to 250 pounds in 2009. Got down to 155 in 2010 by using Weight Watchers and working out. Since then, I maintained for about a year. Then I got busy with life, stopped working out, and put on about 10 pounds. Over the next couple of years, I started gaining weight despite doing Weight Watchers again and trying to workout regularly. My weight crept up to 189 by this January. I went through long periods of time where I was actively trying to lose weight without success. Went to the doctor, was diagnosed with insulin resistance and PCOS. Weight loss has been so much harder over the past couple of years with the hormone/sugar issues. I get frustrated, give up, and gain 5 or 10 pounds. I am currently on a meal replacement diet that is monitored by a doctor. I am down to 170 right now, but that is eating 800 calories a day. On days I workout, I add an extra meal and get up to about a 1000. Now I am stalling out again. I have barely lost anything in the past month.

Intellectually, I know what I need to do. However, emotionally, I am fearful of eating. I know that sounds crazy (and maybe I a nut job and just don't realize it), but every time I take a bite of something, I feel guilty and panicked. I just want to get that motivated, positive outlook I had when I lost weight before, and I can't see to get it. Anyone in similar circumstances, how did you get past the mental block?

Replies

  • mblair1968
    mblair1968 Posts: 323 Member
    Options
    I needed some accountability to get past the block. I would also lose up to 20 lbs, then gain it back. I would have motivation for short bursts, then lose the motivation. Tony Dean's FAST diet helped me. It gave me accountability. I kept track of my food, and checked in every day. It was amazing how those steps really helped. It was hard putting extra food in my mouth when I knew I was going to tell someone. They also have a maintain program, for after you reach your goal weight. I am a client of deanfast.com but I do not receive any payment. I lost 59 lbs with them. Starting weight was 224.2. I am at 169.0 this morning.

    You may also want to see a mental health counselor. Maybe they can give you insight as you talk about your angst. It is worth a try.
  • mamajess242
    mamajess242 Posts: 11 Member
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    Sorry to read about your very real and everyday struggles with this issue.

    I haven't looked at your diary yet, but when you do eat, is it generally "good" food I.e veggies, fruit etc? I think one way of getting over the guilt would be to visualise your food as fuel. Essential. Different qualities. But vital to keeping your body functioning...especially now that you're doing so well in your running.

    You need to try to strip the emotion away from the food. You're doing your body a service.

    Just a thought.

    I feel guilty for overeating when I do. I am an all or nothing person, so when I fail, I fail big. But that's because I am an emotional person. I am trying to look at food/weight from a more scientific point of view these days. Hard to do and needs thinking about at every meal.
  • lindsey1979
    lindsey1979 Posts: 2,395 Member
    Options
    Are you restricting your carbs? Are you taking anything to help with the insulin resistance -- like metformin?

    I ask because I have insulin resistance as well (though not PCOS -- mine is linked to a thyroid condition). And I found that restricting carbs and metform to help immensely. I eat 1700-1850 each day (which for me, means a deficit of 600-800 generally) and the weight has been coming off like a fairly normal person. I've had one big stall, for nearly 4 weeks, and I cut back on my exercise -- I generally lift heavy twice a week and do hill sprints twice a week and walk a lot (15-25 miles/week). I took a rest week where I just walked and the plateau broke, and I lost all the water I'd been holding onto -- like 4 lbs in one week and I was right back to my overall weight loss rate of 1.5 lbs/week.
  • ggluvbug1
    ggluvbug1 Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    Are you restricting your carbs? Are you taking anything to help with the insulin resistance -- like metformin?

    I ask because I have insulin resistance as well (though not PCOS -- mine is linked to a thyroid condition). And I found that restricting carbs and metform to help immensely. I eat 1700-1850 each day (which for me, means a deficit of 600-800 generally) and the weight has been coming off like a fairly normal person. I've had one big stall, for nearly 4 weeks, and I cut back on my exercise -- I generally lift heavy twice a week and do hill sprints twice a week and walk a lot (15-25 miles/week). I took a rest week where I just walked and the plateau broke, and I lost all the water I'd been holding onto -- like 4 lbs in one week and I was right back to my overall weight loss rate of 1.5 lbs/week.

    I was initially prescribed metformin. A tiny dose of 250 mg a day, along with a birth control pill. The pill caused me all kinds of problems--bleeding, emotional outbursts, etc. So, the doc pulled me off of everything. So now, nothing. I have talked to more than one doc, and they all don't take it very seriously because my numbers aren't so out of whack. Their attitude is losing a little weight would fix the problem. Well, duh!!!! If it were that simple, I would have already done that. You know?

    I probably need to watch my carbs more closely than I do. I am doing a meal replacement program right now, and in that diet, I am getting 100 g of carbs a day. When I add the additional meal, I add about another 20-30. I know that isn't extremely high, but maybe I need to cut that back some....so hard, as you well know, because carbs are what I love more than anything in the world!
  • lindsey1979
    lindsey1979 Posts: 2,395 Member
    Options
    Are you restricting your carbs? Are you taking anything to help with the insulin resistance -- like metformin?

    I ask because I have insulin resistance as well (though not PCOS -- mine is linked to a thyroid condition). And I found that restricting carbs and metform to help immensely. I eat 1700-1850 each day (which for me, means a deficit of 600-800 generally) and the weight has been coming off like a fairly normal person. I've had one big stall, for nearly 4 weeks, and I cut back on my exercise -- I generally lift heavy twice a week and do hill sprints twice a week and walk a lot (15-25 miles/week). I took a rest week where I just walked and the plateau broke, and I lost all the water I'd been holding onto -- like 4 lbs in one week and I was right back to my overall weight loss rate of 1.5 lbs/week.

    I was initially prescribed metformin. A tiny dose of 250 mg a day, along with a birth control pill. The pill caused me all kinds of problems--bleeding, emotional outbursts, etc. So, the doc pulled me off of everything. So now, nothing. I have talked to more than one doc, and they all don't take it very seriously because my numbers aren't so out of whack. Their attitude is losing a little weight would fix the problem. Well, duh!!!! If it were that simple, I would have already done that. You know?

    I probably need to watch my carbs more closely than I do. I am doing a meal replacement program right now, and in that diet, I am getting 100 g of carbs a day. When I add the additional meal, I add about another 20-30. I know that isn't extremely high, but maybe I need to cut that back some....so hard, as you well know, because carbs are what I love more than anything in the world!

    Oh, I totally understand them not taking it very seriously. I went through 4 docs until I found one that really took me seriously. I'd only gained 30-40 lbs (at 5'9"), so most didn't take me very seriously. Had I gained 80+ lbs, maybe they would have. It was just very frustrating because I was putting in so much work into my diet and exercise and seeing very, very little results. Until I found the thyroid/metabolism specialist who did take my symptoms seriously and said, "you sound like text book Hashimoto's, let's do X, Y and Z tests for that along with some other vitamin/mineral deficiencies and check your adrenals and a few other things..." Most of the tests no one else had ever done before -- and yep, Hashi's and he found the insulin resistance along with two other severe vitamin deficiencies -- in my case magnesium and vitamin D. I got all that back on track and everything was fine.

    Before that, I was just cutting and cutting and cutting and getting virtually no where. And the docs didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal.

    As for carbs, I try to keep it under 100 per day, ideally falling into the 50-80 range (and this is total, not net carbs). And I get almost all my carbs from vegetables, some fruits and little sugar things like condiments or chocolate. I don't eat any grains anymore and really focus on low glycemic carbs (so sweet potatoes rather than regular potatoes and watch the total starchy veggies to keep under my total alottment for the day).

    Sometimes it stinks to watch carbs so closely, but I do feel so much better on it, so it's easier to maintain for that reason. When I have something very carby (especially if it's by itself) -- like a piece of cake at a wedding, I totally notice the difference and so a lot of those types of things have lost a lot of appeal over time. I still have quite a sweet tooth, but I tend to focus on things that are more fatty than sugary/floury -- like creme brule or panna cotta or dark chocolate rather than cakes, cookies, pastries, etc. So, that way I don't feel deprived and generally feel pretty good hitting my calorie goals. If I eat more carbs, I just feel way less satisfied and its much harder to stay in my calorie goal for the day.

    I've found that level of carbs works for me, but I've definitely run into others with PCOS or insulin resistance that say that they have to keep it even lower. So, I really think it's a personal thing and finding the level that works for you. If you cut back and find the weight coming off more and feeling better, it will become easier over time to do that. Or at least that's what I've found for me.
  • ggluvbug1
    ggluvbug1 Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    I needed some accountability to get past the block. I would also lose up to 20 lbs, then gain it back. I would have motivation for short bursts, then lose the motivation. Tony Dean's FAST diet helped me. It gave me accountability. I kept track of my food, and checked in every day. It was amazing how those steps really helped. It was hard putting extra food in my mouth when I knew I was going to tell someone. They also have a maintain program, for after you reach your goal weight. I am a client of deanfast.com but I do not receive any payment. I lost 59 lbs with them. Starting weight was 224.2. I am at 169.0 this morning.

    You may also want to see a mental health counselor. Maybe they can give you insight as you talk about your angst. It is worth a try.
    I have thought about seeing someone for myself. Not sure what I would tell them except that I am a little crazy when it comes to food.:wink:

    I was thinking about rejoining WW for the accountability component. My favorite leader quit, though, and I haven't found another one I have liked. I have never heard of Tony Dean
  • ggluvbug1
    ggluvbug1 Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    Are you restricting your carbs? Are you taking anything to help with the insulin resistance -- like metformin?

    I ask because I have insulin resistance as well (though not PCOS -- mine is linked to a thyroid condition). And I found that restricting carbs and metform to help immensely. I eat 1700-1850 each day (which for me, means a deficit of 600-800 generally) and the weight has been coming off like a fairly normal person. I've had one big stall, for nearly 4 weeks, and I cut back on my exercise -- I generally lift heavy twice a week and do hill sprints twice a week and walk a lot (15-25 miles/week). I took a rest week where I just walked and the plateau broke, and I lost all the water I'd been holding onto -- like 4 lbs in one week and I was right back to my overall weight loss rate of 1.5 lbs/week.

    I was initially prescribed metformin. A tiny dose of 250 mg a day, along with a birth control pill. The pill caused me all kinds of problems--bleeding, emotional outbursts, etc. So, the doc pulled me off of everything. So now, nothing. I have talked to more than one doc, and they all don't take it very seriously because my numbers aren't so out of whack. Their attitude is losing a little weight would fix the problem. Well, duh!!!! If it were that simple, I would have already done that. You know?

    I probably need to watch my carbs more closely than I do. I am doing a meal replacement program right now, and in that diet, I am getting 100 g of carbs a day. When I add the additional meal, I add about another 20-30. I know that isn't extremely high, but maybe I need to cut that back some....so hard, as you well know, because carbs are what I love more than anything in the world!

    Oh, I totally understand them not taking it very seriously. I went through 4 docs until I found one that really took me seriously. I'd only gained 30-40 lbs (at 5'9"), so most didn't take me very seriously. Had I gained 80+ lbs, maybe they would have. It was just very frustrating because I was putting in so much work into my diet and exercise and seeing very, very little results. Until I found the thyroid/metabolism specialist who did take my symptoms seriously and said, "you sound like text book Hashimoto's, let's do X, Y and Z tests for that along with some other vitamin/mineral deficiencies and check your adrenals and a few other things..." Most of the tests no one else had ever done before -- and yep, Hashi's and he found the insulin resistance along with two other severe vitamin deficiencies -- in my case magnesium and vitamin D. I got all that back on track and everything was fine.

    Before that, I was just cutting and cutting and cutting and getting virtually no where. And the docs didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal.

    As for carbs, I try to keep it under 100 per day, ideally falling into the 50-80 range (and this is total, not net carbs). And I get almost all my carbs from vegetables, some fruits and little sugar things like condiments or chocolate. I don't eat any grains anymore and really focus on low glycemic carbs (so sweet potatoes rather than regular potatoes and watch the total starchy veggies to keep under my total alottment for the day).

    Sometimes it stinks to watch carbs so closely, but I do feel so much better on it, so it's easier to maintain for that reason. When I have something very carby (especially if it's by itself) -- like a piece of cake at a wedding, I totally notice the difference and so a lot of those types of things have lost a lot of appeal over time. I still have quite a sweet tooth, but I tend to focus on things that are more fatty than sugary/floury -- like creme brule or panna cotta or dark chocolate rather than cakes, cookies, pastries, etc. So, that way I don't feel deprived and generally feel pretty good hitting my calorie goals. If I eat more carbs, I just feel way less satisfied and its much harder to stay in my calorie goal for the day.

    I've found that level of carbs works for me, but I've definitely run into others with PCOS or insulin resistance that say that they have to keep it even lower. So, I really think it's a personal thing and finding the level that works for you. If you cut back and find the weight coming off more and feeling better, it will become easier over time to do that. Or at least that's what I've found for me.

    I wish I could find someone who would take it seriously. I am not sure if there are even any specialists in my area who could help. I had my thyroid tested, and it was well within normal range (like 1.5). About two months ago, it was checked again and registered 2.5. I asked the doc about it, and she said it was in the normal range but that wasn't necessarily an indicator that there wasn't an issue--but she never addressed it. My grandmother, my mom, and my sister all have hypothyroidism. I don't know if it is hereditary or not.....

    I will take a closer look at my carb management and see if I can find a range that seems to work best.
  • ggluvbug1
    ggluvbug1 Posts: 87 Member
    Options




    I feel guilty for overeating when I do. I am an all or nothing person, so when I fail, I fail big.

    This is me completely. When I fall off the wagon, I am on top of the Empire State building! That fall hurts badly!
  • lindsey1979
    lindsey1979 Posts: 2,395 Member
    Options
    Are you restricting your carbs? Are you taking anything to help with the insulin resistance -- like metformin?

    I ask because I have insulin resistance as well (though not PCOS -- mine is linked to a thyroid condition). And I found that restricting carbs and metform to help immensely. I eat 1700-1850 each day (which for me, means a deficit of 600-800 generally) and the weight has been coming off like a fairly normal person. I've had one big stall, for nearly 4 weeks, and I cut back on my exercise -- I generally lift heavy twice a week and do hill sprints twice a week and walk a lot (15-25 miles/week). I took a rest week where I just walked and the plateau broke, and I lost all the water I'd been holding onto -- like 4 lbs in one week and I was right back to my overall weight loss rate of 1.5 lbs/week.

    I was initially prescribed metformin. A tiny dose of 250 mg a day, along with a birth control pill. The pill caused me all kinds of problems--bleeding, emotional outbursts, etc. So, the doc pulled me off of everything. So now, nothing. I have talked to more than one doc, and they all don't take it very seriously because my numbers aren't so out of whack. Their attitude is losing a little weight would fix the problem. Well, duh!!!! If it were that simple, I would have already done that. You know?

    I probably need to watch my carbs more closely than I do. I am doing a meal replacement program right now, and in that diet, I am getting 100 g of carbs a day. When I add the additional meal, I add about another 20-30. I know that isn't extremely high, but maybe I need to cut that back some....so hard, as you well know, because carbs are what I love more than anything in the world!

    Oh, I totally understand them not taking it very seriously. I went through 4 docs until I found one that really took me seriously. I'd only gained 30-40 lbs (at 5'9"), so most didn't take me very seriously. Had I gained 80+ lbs, maybe they would have. It was just very frustrating because I was putting in so much work into my diet and exercise and seeing very, very little results. Until I found the thyroid/metabolism specialist who did take my symptoms seriously and said, "you sound like text book Hashimoto's, let's do X, Y and Z tests for that along with some other vitamin/mineral deficiencies and check your adrenals and a few other things..." Most of the tests no one else had ever done before -- and yep, Hashi's and he found the insulin resistance along with two other severe vitamin deficiencies -- in my case magnesium and vitamin D. I got all that back on track and everything was fine.

    Before that, I was just cutting and cutting and cutting and getting virtually no where. And the docs didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal.

    As for carbs, I try to keep it under 100 per day, ideally falling into the 50-80 range (and this is total, not net carbs). And I get almost all my carbs from vegetables, some fruits and little sugar things like condiments or chocolate. I don't eat any grains anymore and really focus on low glycemic carbs (so sweet potatoes rather than regular potatoes and watch the total starchy veggies to keep under my total alottment for the day).

    Sometimes it stinks to watch carbs so closely, but I do feel so much better on it, so it's easier to maintain for that reason. When I have something very carby (especially if it's by itself) -- like a piece of cake at a wedding, I totally notice the difference and so a lot of those types of things have lost a lot of appeal over time. I still have quite a sweet tooth, but I tend to focus on things that are more fatty than sugary/floury -- like creme brule or panna cotta or dark chocolate rather than cakes, cookies, pastries, etc. So, that way I don't feel deprived and generally feel pretty good hitting my calorie goals. If I eat more carbs, I just feel way less satisfied and its much harder to stay in my calorie goal for the day.

    I've found that level of carbs works for me, but I've definitely run into others with PCOS or insulin resistance that say that they have to keep it even lower. So, I really think it's a personal thing and finding the level that works for you. If you cut back and find the weight coming off more and feeling better, it will become easier over time to do that. Or at least that's what I've found for me.

    I wish I could find someone who would take it seriously. I am not sure if there are even any specialists in my area who could help. I had my thyroid tested, and it was well within normal range (like 1.5). About two months ago, it was checked again and registered 2.5. I asked the doc about it, and she said it was in the normal range but that wasn't necessarily an indicator that there wasn't an issue--but she never addressed it. My grandmother, my mom, and my sister all have hypothyroidism. I don't know if it is hereditary or not.....

    I will take a closer look at my carb management and see if I can find a range that seems to work best.

    Ooh, you really may want to look into someone for the thyroid. Far too many docs, including endos, look just to TSH for problems. But if you have Hashi's -- which I believe is the most common hypo -- you can have a totally normal TSH level and still be hypo, especially if it's early in the disease (eventually, the body kills off the thyroid and you'll be fully overt hypo at that point). And, many believe thyroid disorders are genetic. Mine is normal sometimes and sometimes not. My doc explained it like this:

    When you have Hashi's, you have antibodies that attack the effectiveness of the thyroid hormone (primarily T3 and T4). And there is no way to really know how much of an impact they're having -- they could be binding up 20% or they could be binding up 80% of the thyroid hormones. So, for Hashi's, you really need to have free T3, T4 and antibody tests (two different kinds). And look to the symptoms, not just the blood tests.

    Like my T3 and T4 were bordeline on the low side. But I still had tons of hypo symptoms -- bouts of terrible fatigue, dry skin, brittle nails, bad constipation, intolerance to cold (shoot, until I got thyroid meds, I'd never had warm or normal temp hands and feet - they were always super cold), unexplained weight gain or difficulty losing weight, sleep irregularities. So, for me, he said it's not just about being "within range" but finding the optimal range for me. So, I have thyroid meds and my numbers are now in the mid-level of the range and most of my symptoms are either gone or greatly reduced -- including the ability to lose weight like a "normal" person. I too have a family history of thyroid disorders -- my mom, two female cousins, etc.

    Here's a good article on the blood tests -- this very much could have been me (or perhaps you): http://www.thyroid-info.com/articles/woliner.htm
  • ggluvbug1
    ggluvbug1 Posts: 87 Member
    Options


    Ooh, you really may want to look into someone for the thyroid. Far too many docs, including endos, look just to TSH for problems. But if you have Hashi's -- which I believe is the most common hypo -- you can have a totally normal TSH level and still be hypo, especially if it's early in the disease (eventually, the body kills off the thyroid and you'll be fully overt hypo at that point). And, many believe thyroid disorders are genetic. Mine is normal sometimes and sometimes not. My doc explained it like this:

    When you have Hashi's, you have antibodies that attack the effectiveness of the thyroid hormone (primarily T3 and T4). And there is no way to really know how much of an impact they're having -- they could be binding up 20% or they could be binding up 80% of the thyroid hormones. So, for Hashi's, you really need to have free T3, T4 and antibody tests (two different kinds). And look to the symptoms, not just the blood tests.

    Like my T3 and T4 were bordeline on the low side. But I still had tons of hypo symptoms -- bouts of terrible fatigue, dry skin, brittle nails, bad constipation, intolerance to cold (shoot, until I got thyroid meds, I'd never had warm or normal temp hands and feet - they were always super cold), unexplained weight gain or difficulty losing weight, sleep irregularities. So, for me, he said it's not just about being "within range" but finding the optimal range for me. So, I have thyroid meds and my numbers are now in the mid-level of the range and most of my symptoms are either gone or greatly reduced -- including the ability to lose weight like a "normal" person. I too have a family history of thyroid disorders -- my mom, two female cousins, etc.

    Here's a good article on the blood tests -- this very much could have been me (or perhaps you): http://www.thyroid-info.com/articles/woliner.htm

    I guess I need to find a doctor who will actually listen to me!
    The cold hands and feet thing---that is me. Everyone in my house complains when I touch them because my hands and feet are so cold all the time. And this winter was brutal on me. I kept a heater by my feet at work because they were freezing constantly. There are nights when I soak in a super hot bath just to get my hands and feet warm enough to get to sleep.
    I definitely have some other symptoms like thinning hair, which directly started as the weight was creeping up, depression, memory loss (I have to write EVERYTHING down), heavy periods, etc. I read that having a cold rear end is also another symptom some people have. That is me too! Lol.
    Anyway, thanks for the input. It is really helpful.
  • schondell
    schondell Posts: 556 Member
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    Food is fuel. Look into HCLF vegan :) Get leannnnn!