Asking people if they can see a difference- thoughts?

MBrothers22
MBrothers22 Posts: 323 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I'm approaching 60 days on MFP and in my new lifestyle. I've gone from 351 to 321 as of a couple days ago. All I've done is weighed my food, counted calories, and cut down on the junk while not completely eliminating it (other than pop/soda, that's GONE).

I know a lot of people who post to the success stories midway through their journey asking if it's noticeable may just be looking for encouragement and I find NOTHING wrong with that. I'm just not one of those people. I want the 100% truth. Just out of curiosity. It wouldn't "hurt" me in anyway whatsoever.

So here's my situation. Like I said, 351 to 321 in ~60 days. Some friends I have not told and seen since I began doing this until just a few days ago. Would it be an ok idea in the sense I could get an accurate and honest opinion from them? Or would human nature just be to act nice and say yes even though I insist on being honest?
I'll post on here WHEN I meet my goal, but I'm really just curious as to when it is first noticeable.

Replies

  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Personally I wouldn't, but that's just me. I think you're going to put people on the spot and most people, I think will try to be nice and you may not get as accurate an opinion as you might think. I mean what could be more genuine and honest than someone spontaneously asking you if you've lost weight or someone spontaneously saying "Hey, you look great these days!"

    I think asking for it will only create either (1) an uncomfortable situation in which people who may not have noticed will be forced to give a reply or (2) may not give you the feedback you're looking for.

    I'd just keep on going the way you are and wait for it to come on it's own.
  • weird_me2
    weird_me2 Posts: 716 Member
    Honestly? I wouldn't ask my friends. My experience when I've lost weight in the past is that the people I'm closest to don't register the 20-30-40 pound fluctuations in my weight. It's just not something they notice. Granted, it takes me about 25-30 lbs to drop a pants size (I'm tall), so a 30 lb loss usually only means dropping from a 22W to a 20W...is that noticeable? Not really.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Personally I wouldn't, but that's just me. I think you're going to put people on the spot and most people, I think will try to be nice and you may not get as accurate an opinion as you might think. I mean what could be more genuine and honest than someone spontaneously asking you if you've lost weight or someone spontaneously saying "Hey, you look great these days!"

    I think asking for it will only create either (1) an uncomfortable situation in which people who may not have noticed will be forced to give a reply or (2) may not give you the feedback you're looking for.

    I'd just keep on going the way you are and wait for it to come on it's own.

    I agree with this advice 100%.

    I don't know if you (OP) have shared much with friends & family about your efforts to lose weight, get healthier, etc. I was the type to keep it all under wraps and go super stealthy with it in the past because I was afraid of failure...but I have come to see that some of the people nearest to me have been very encouraging and supportive once I finally did start talking about wanting to lose weight.

    I started at 307 lb in '08 and it took me literally years to get down to my MFP start weight of 262...and no one commented at all except for my mom who noticed I'd lost some weight. I will be honest OP, the handful of times I mentioned to close friends that I'd lost 20-30 lb when I first started losing, they just looked uncomfortable or almost shocked/surprised like they didn't believe that I'd lost anything or were wondering where I lost it since I looked the same to them. It was not a good experience.

    So basically I have mixed advice here...tell A FEW trusted, beloved people what you're doing for yourself...but don't come right out and solicit "brutally honest opinions". They *will* start to see a difference in you and you will get comments! Especially since you're losing quickly! As soon as I started losing on MFP at this quicker rate I got a ton more compliments and comments :-)

    Good luck!
  • MBrothers22
    MBrothers22 Posts: 323 Member
    Personally I wouldn't, but that's just me. I think you're going to put people on the spot and most people, I think will try to be nice and you may not get as accurate an opinion as you might think. I mean what could be more genuine and honest than someone spontaneously asking you if you've lost weight or someone spontaneously saying "Hey, you look great these days!"

    I think asking for it will only create either (1) an uncomfortable situation in which people who may not have noticed will be forced to give a reply or (2) may not give you the feedback you're looking for.

    I'd just keep on going the way you are and wait for it to come on it's own.

    I agree with this advice 100%.

    I don't know if you (OP) have shared much with friends & family about your efforts to lose weight, get healthier, etc. I was the type to keep it all under wraps and go super stealthy with it in the past because I was afraid of failure...but I have come to see that some of the people nearest to me have been very encouraging and supportive once I finally did start talking about wanting to lose weight.

    I started at 307 lb in '08 and it took me literally years to get down to my MFP start weight of 262...and no one commented at all except for my mom who noticed I'd lost some weight. I will be honest OP, the handful of times I mentioned to close friends that I'd lost 20-30 lb when I first started losing, they just looked uncomfortable or almost shocked/surprised like they didn't believe that I'd lost anything or were wondering where I lost it since I looked the same to them. It was not a good experience.

    So basically I have mixed advice here...tell A FEW trusted, beloved people what you're doing for yourself...but don't come right out and solicit "brutally honest opinions". They *will* start to see a difference in you and you will get comments! Especially since you're losing quickly! As soon as I started losing on MFP at this quicker rate I got a ton more compliments and comments :-)

    Good luck!

    I guess I will resist the urge. Curiosity kills me sometimes :\
    And my lack of patience...
    I don't want my friends to feel awkward though.
  • AwesomeGuy37
    AwesomeGuy37 Posts: 436 Member
    30 pounds of 350 isn't noticeable.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    I guess my question to you would be - what does it matter if others notice? If you notice, by taking measurements, evaluating how your clothes fit, how you feel energy wise, etc, does it matter if the outside world notices a bit? I know there's that little part of vanity inside of us, but really, just trust me when I say you will appreciate 300 times more when it comes without solicitation.
  • JazzAllen
    JazzAllen Posts: 11 Member
    What about taking pics of yourself in the same clothes as you hit milestones? Then, as you're making progress, and perhaps have a week/month when you didn't lose as much, you can compare your present weight to the weight you were initially. I tend to agree with some of the previous posters that friends/others' might not offer accurate information.
    Of course, different strokes for different folks :)
  • jlahorn
    jlahorn Posts: 377 Member
    30 pounds of 350 isn't noticeable.

    This was rather bluntly put, but true. 210 to 180 was barely noticeable on me. OTOH, 175 to 145 was super obvious.
  • leeshults
    leeshults Posts: 223 Member
    don't do it....it's so much more fun when they finally "notice" on their own! :) I lost 40 pounds before anyone said anything. It was a great day!!
  • ValeriePlz
    ValeriePlz Posts: 517 Member
    It will mean more to you if people say it on their own than if you ask them first.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I'm not sure I'd do it. Most people take that as an invitation for them to "pop off"....They want to tell you what you oughtta do, who you ought to talk to, and what they heard about some new herb or some new something that's supposed to be the new thing in weight loss.

    Let them notice on their own, and say, "Thanks; it's been a lot of work." Smile and keep going.
  • MBrothers22
    MBrothers22 Posts: 323 Member
    What about taking pics of yourself in the same clothes as you hit milestones? Then, as you're making progress, and perhaps have a week/month when you didn't lose as much, you can compare your present weight to the weight you were initially. I tend to agree with some of the previous posters that friends/others' might not offer accurate information.
    Of course, different strokes for different folks :)
    I'm taking pictures without a shirt which I absolutely dread doing but I know it'll be worth it when I hit my goal.
  • Ashaleet
    Ashaleet Posts: 59
    All of my co-workers know that i'm counting my calories and eating healthy, drinking lots of water etc.
    This way, when i'm tempted, I have about 20 people keeping me accountable.
    Personally I think I would be less likely to stick with it if no one knew I was on a diet.
    I agree with everyone else though, people who see you every day tend to not notice. Whereas if I don't see my mom in a month and she comes over she notices right away.

    I wouldn't ask.
  • RelentlessCherry
    RelentlessCherry Posts: 13
    Personally I never ask if people can see a difference. In fact I usually don't even tell them when I'm on a diet. That way if they ask if you've lost weight you know they have genuinely noticed and aren't just saying it to try and encourage you. Just my thoughts on it :)
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    Post them here, I'll give you an honest answer.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    I wouldn't ask either. I may make you sound vain and like you're fishing for compliments. It could put the people around you in a very tight spot and make them feel uncomfortable.
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
    I wouldn't just because you may not trust their answers, either they may feel the need to fib and say yes, no matter how you stress you want the truth or they may just not noticed and this could hurt even if you think it won't. Most likely they will/have noticed but because of your starting weight may feel rude to bring it up, kinda they don't want to mention it and you ask what they are talking about. When you drop a few sizes more most will begin saying things because at that point it is obvious and intentional weight loss. Huge Congrats on your results, it is a huge accomplishment even if those around you have not been brave enough to bring it up yet. Also when they mention it without you asking it will be more sincere and feel better to you.
  • DucklingtoSwan
    DucklingtoSwan Posts: 169 Member
    I casually mentioned I was down 25 pounds to my mom and sister. Worst. Mistake. Ever. Mom just gave me a vague "Oh, Good for you," and my sister was polite but clearly did not believe me. When I saw my mom a few days later she was all, "Oh, wow! I can really tell a difference!" and trying to be all cheerleader, but that was almost worse because it just felt so condescending and insincere.

    I am not discussing it with anyone in my real life, period. Not my friends, family, anyone, not even my husband. He knows I am losing but has yet to say a word. If someone notices and asks, I'll be happy to talk about it. But asking a direct question just asks for trouble. If they say yes, you will never be sure if they are sincere or just telling you what they think you want to hear, or if they are honest and tell you no, they haven't noticed anything, that's not going to make you feel particularly good.

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