How do I respond to my husband?

Options
245

Replies

  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
    Options
    Had the same exact conversation with my hubby once. I wanted to get leaner and he pointed out that I HAD lost my curves. I thought about it and after a while I agreed with him. I wanted my butt back. So I started bulking and the curves are back. He's happy, I'm happy, I still have the goal of becoming leaner but now with sexy muscle added into the mix.
  • mikeykhan2003
    mikeykhan2003 Posts: 177
    Options
    Let me start by saying that my husband is VERY supportive. He saw me lose about 40 lbs before, gain it all back and then some, and this time around he's my number one cheerleader. However, last night he said something to me that made me take a pause:

    "I don't want you to get down to 140 because I'm afraid you won't have any curves. If you lost 10 more pounds, I'd be fine with that."

    My goal weight is 140. I am currently 178 and I'm 5'4". I am by no means happy with myself yet. I reassured him that, based on my other family members, I will always be thick in the thigh and booty department, even if I am 140 lbs. I also told him that this is not about him, it's about me. I want to have a fit physique, not a skinny one.

    What do I say to him that will keep him from sabotaging my weight loss?

    Sounds like very honest and open communication about a very sensitive topic from someone who loves and very much supports you.

    Maybe calling it 'sabotaging" is a bit unfair?
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    Options
    Exactly what did he say that made you think "sabotage?"

    It sounds like to me that the man simply gave you a compliment. Let's not go over-analyzing things.
  • msfetty
    msfetty Posts: 3 Member
    Options
    Well tell him he now has added another job for himself,he's on booty patrol lol.I'm sure u don't want to lose your booty as well as he doesn't want u to,so tell him if he sees it disappearing to let u know so u can pick up in your numbers of squats...lol
    Then tell him thanks for having my "back" as well as my front...good job by the way!!
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    Options
    I don't think he should worry. It sounds like your body type is the type to be curvy. I'm exactly your height but I'm petite and flat chested and weigh 118 lbs without real curves.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    Options
    Start lifting heavy weights. That way you can show him on the scale that you didn't really lose that much weight, yet you'll still lose inches and keep your girly curves. Everybody wins. :)
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
    Options
    Yes, we had that discussion, too... that if I am 150 lbs and I feel comfortable with myself and I am fit, I will go into maintenance. I'm certainly not going to let an arbitrary number that is based on BMI dictate my weight loss, especially not if I have a good amount of muscle.

    A goal number is easy to pick but you won't really know if it's right until you feel yourself in a new weight. I am the same height as you and currently about 153. My goal is 135, but if I am happy when I reach 145 I may change my mind. I have a feeling that I will hit 140 and want to bulk and cut to get my ideal body type.

    And about "losing curves", since you're a heavy lifter... Squat, Deadlift - You will have a great butt when you reach your goal. He needn't worry. :bigsmile:
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    Options
    If he's truly supporting you, he won't try to sabotage your weight loss. From another man's standpoint, it seems that he just has a general concern about it. It doesn't sound like he will get hostile about it.
  • MapleFlavouredMaiden
    MapleFlavouredMaiden Posts: 595 Member
    Options
    I don't get it. I weigh about 140lbs at 5'4" and I have curves. Muscle makes women curvy...
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    Options
    For starters: The only person who can sabotage your weight loss is you. Secondly, talk to your husband about how you see yourself at goal. It is your body, but you are in a marriage where communication can make or break things.

    Good luck.
  • Gearjammer71
    Gearjammer71 Posts: 151 Member
    Options
    Ignore that crap and keep your eye on your goal. He's just providing you a soft place to land in case you don't meet your goal... He'll be perfectly happy if you do.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
    Options
    Just say "sure honey" and do what you want anyway.
    I agree. Any other response probably takes the conversation in a direction that it's best not to go.
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
    Options
    And about "losing curves", since you're a heavy lifter... Squat, Deadlift - You will have a great butt when you reach your goal. He needn't worry. :bigsmile:

    QFT. Add glute bridges and hip thrusts into your routine if you haven't already. They are magical.
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
    Options
    Just say ok honey and do what you want.
  • ChaplainHeavin
    ChaplainHeavin Posts: 426 Member
    Options
    Let me start by saying that my husband is VERY supportive.

    What do I say to him that will keep him from sabotaging my weight loss?

    He cannot be VERY supportive and sabotaging all at the same time. Just by reading your post I would think he is very supportive BUT, men, especially husbands, say dumb and insensitive things. Just ask my wife or two grown up daughters or anyone who knows me. Regarding what you say to him, just be honest, tell him what your goal is and tell him how you feel about his statement. If he's as supportive as you said he is, it seems he would be willing to listen. Hope it goes well.
  • Shan_Lindsay
    Shan_Lindsay Posts: 60 Member
    Options
    Exactly what did he say that made you think "sabotage?"

    It sounds like to me that the man simply gave you a compliment. Let's not go over-analyzing things.

    This. As women, we tend to over-analyze. I think your husband was giving you a compliment and not trying to sabotage you.

    I like the posters who say to just agree with him for now, and reasses your goal as you get closer. When I was at my lowest weight that I've been, I felt great about myself but it was about 5 lbs more than what my original goal weight was. All of our bodies look different at different weights, so you may be surprised as to when you feel good about yourself.

    Keep kickin' *kitten* and come back to this when it's time.
  • mclgo
    mclgo Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    Give him a big fat smooch and tell him "I love you too babe!"
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Options
    Tell him you'll see how it goes along the way.

    Pretty much.
  • 120by30
    120by30 Posts: 217 Member
    Options
    Exactly what did he say that made you think "sabotage?"

    It sounds like to me that the man simply gave you a compliment. Let's not go over-analyzing things.

    Exactly! I think it's kinda sweet when my husband pouts because my boobs are shrinking. Or when he tells me that he loves every inch of me and wouldn't care if I didn't lose any more weight. I don't read sabotage in this. I read a husband speaking his preference to his wife. No harm in that! Just stop weighing yourself and go by how you feel and fit in your clothes. Or don't tell him how much you weigh. Or just do what you want anyway. Just please don't go on an internet forum and imply that your husband is going to sabotage your weight-loss efforts. He sounds like a great husband!
  • Sassymama66_75HARD
    Sassymama66_75HARD Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    We all have a type that we like. Obviously your husband likes curvier women. If you are going for fit and not skinny there are exercises that you can do to help with the curves once you are at your goal weight. He sounds like a keeper!

    I like my husbands barrel chest and it would bother me if he got to thin. We are doing our weight loss by body fat/lean measurements that we have done at our gym.

    Congrats on your great loss so far!

Categories