Does anyone else feel this way?

Catfriend25
Catfriend25 Posts: 95
in Motivation and Support
Does anyone else feel kind of crappy when someone taller than you like 5'8'' is like Oh yeah I'm 110 pounds but I need to weigh 100 pounds? Or even someone your same height. Of course I know it's best not to compare, everyone's different, but when you never hear of anyone weighing more than you and everyone only says "I'm 5'5 but 120 I'm so fat" and you're like uh I'm shorter than you but I'm 125 pounds, it's kind of embarrassing. Does anyone relate or understand where I'm coming from?

Replies

  • silmarilliane
    silmarilliane Posts: 133 Member
    sometimes it gets to me, but not as much as it used to. i get surprised when i hear people i consider average or even thin are weightwatchers members or fasting to lose weight.
    i noticed a few weeks ago that i'm easily the fattest person at my zumba class, but most of them probably think they're huge.

    these days i don't worry about it. everyone has their hang ups and (most of the time) you'll never convince them otherwise.
    try not to let them bother you - just try to focus on what you're doing :)
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    Yes. When I see someone who is 5'8 and weighs 100 pounds it makes me feel fat no matter what the BMI chart says because I'm 5'3 and 125 at the moment. So I guess that means I should weigh, what, 85 pounds? 80?
  • kittenful
    kittenful Posts: 318 Member
    I learned to ignore it. Everybody carries their weight differently. Focus on you, and what works for you.

    I'm 5'2" and 120. I see many women my height that are going for 100-110 lbs. Good on them! I'm going for 20% body fat (or 115, whichever comes first). I'm actually quite happy at 120.
  • jim9097
    jim9097 Posts: 341 Member
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!
  • leantool
    leantool Posts: 365 Member
    5'8" and 110 lb looking to lose weight.....
    Yes i'll be bothered
    For her sake.
    My goal is my own,to be healthy
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    Not really...I know my weight..actual scale weight is 1/100 of what is important.

    I don't care what other weigh or me...I care about my BF%, my inches, my defined muscles, what I can lift or squat...my jean size...

    Because really if you look at those things instead of weight...you will find you are probably the same as a lot who are of different weights...

    If I were to see a person who was 5 ft 8 and weighed 100lbs..my thoughts would be...gosh I hope they aren't sick, suffering from something like an ED etc why because that is an extreme weight for that height.
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!

    Thanks for this. My perceptions have been severely warped by a couple of exes and my artsy crafty love of Project Runway reruns, which of course exposes me regularly to the sight of skinny catwalk models. They look beautiful to me even now, and I'm way old enough to know better than to compare myself to that ideal (most of them are still in their teens, for crying out loud) or think it's healthy, but I guess I still have some issues. Even though a video of some of the poor girls fainting during filming is floating around on Youtube.

    Oh well. At least I'm finally wise enough to never let anyone else attack my appearance and get away with it. Now if only I could get myself to stop doing it.
  • maskedbelleza
    maskedbelleza Posts: 23 Member
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!

    You do realize that some women are naturally predisposed to not having curves? And that no matter how much weight they put on, the weight might not make curves in the "right" places? My roommate is about 130 lbs at 5'2" and does not have any hips or breasts, making her look like a "12 year old boy". My other roommate is at the very same height but weighs under 105 lbs and has literally the most PERFECT hourglass figure in existence. (Wide hips, large breasts, and the tiniest waist ever!) Instead of shaming women for not looking like your ideal, we should just appreciate them as they are.

    I would rather be gross and look like a 12 year old boy than be attractive to you, or anyone else who thinks this way.

    Nevertheless, I think this perfectly illustrates why what everyone else is doing isn't important. You should focus on yourself. Numbers work differently on other people.
  • jim9097
    jim9097 Posts: 341 Member
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!

    You do realize that some women are naturally predisposed to not having curves? And that no matter how much weight they put on, the weight might not make curves in the "right" places? My roommate is about 130 lbs at 5'2" and does not have any hips or breasts, making her look like a "12 year old boy". My other roommate is at the very same height but weighs under 105 lbs and has literally the most PERFECT hourglass figure in existence. (Wide hips, large breasts, and the tiniest waist ever!) Instead of shaming women for not looking like your ideal, we should just appreciate them as they are.

    I would rather be gross and look like a 12 year old boy than be attractive to you, or anyone else who thinks this way.

    Nevertheless, I think this perfectly illustrates why what everyone else is doing isn't important. You should focus on yourself. Numbers work differently on other people.

    Well I was almost counting on this happening. I understand and accept your premise. There is nothing wrong with it. This string was specifically about women who are doing this on purpose. Let me rephrase my answer. I don't think you should be 5'8" and 100 lbs. I don't want to see your bones.
  • kittenful
    kittenful Posts: 318 Member
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!

    You do realize that some women are naturally predisposed to not having curves? And that no matter how much weight they put on, the weight might not make curves in the "right" places? My roommate is about 130 lbs at 5'2" and does not have any hips or breasts, making her look like a "12 year old boy". My other roommate is at the very same height but weighs under 105 lbs and has literally the most PERFECT hourglass figure in existence. (Wide hips, large breasts, and the tiniest waist ever!) Instead of shaming women for not looking like your ideal, we should just appreciate them as they are.

    I would rather be gross and look like a 12 year old boy than be attractive to you, or anyone else who thinks this way.

    Nevertheless, I think this perfectly illustrates why what everyone else is doing isn't important. You should focus on yourself. Numbers work differently on other people.

    orson_wells_Slow-Clap.gif
  • jstout365
    jstout365 Posts: 1,686 Member
    Can't say that I do......I'm 5'2" and when I see posts about someone of a similar height being about 100 lbs I don't feel bad. I'm about 137 right now and would have to get crazy lean (like 12-15% BF) to see anything under 120. I have about 97 lbs of lean body mass so I don't feel bad when someone weighs less and "feels gross" at the weight I am. I like my muscles, they keep me strong and allow me to look lighter than I am. There are so many different body compositions that what one person can weigh isn't what someone else should weigh. Be you.
  • brookemart81
    brookemart81 Posts: 62 Member
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!

    Is it really necessary to call certain people's bodies "gross"? How would you like to have your body talked about that way?

    Women are not "supposed" to have curves. Everyone's body is different. Some people have a slim build and were not blessed with boobs and butts. We are all different. You can be attracted to whatever you want- that's your business. But calling people gross is never acceptable.
  • kilsafari
    kilsafari Posts: 61
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!


    Too bad attractiveness to men is not the most important thing a woman should be concerned with. If a 5'8 woman is 100lbs she should be concerned because she's underweight and possibly unhealthy, not because men like you dont want to sleep with them.

    I don't think you should be 5'8" and 100 lbs. I don't want to see your bones.

    Nobody cares what you want to see.
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
    it use to bother me when my skinny friends would say "god im so fat" then i graduated from high school
  • brookemart81
    brookemart81 Posts: 62 Member
    But back to the OP. I'm kind of on the other side of this. I'm 5'7' and I've come across a lot of mentions on this site of people's goal weights that are the same as or more than my starting weight. But what that says to me is that we all have different body types and different goals for what we want our bodies to look like. And that's okay.

    No, I don't weigh 100 lbs and that would be way too skinny on me. But I do have the slimmer build without much in the way of curves. And that's not a function of my weight, either- when I gain weight it all goes to my stomach. It's not like having a straight figure automatically means you are underweight, and if you would only eat more you could have boobs and a butt too. Curves are not in the cards for me genetically. It's ok. And it's completely reasonable that for people who DO have them, their healthy ideal weight may be higher than mine.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is if you are going to compare yourself to others, height isn't the only factor to look at. People come in different shapes and sizes.
  • purplemurfy
    purplemurfy Posts: 95 Member
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!


    Thank you for this! I see others have replied harshly to your comment, but I COMPLETELY understand what you meant by it. Jeez people! I'm sure if you get off your high horse you'd know what he meant too.

    I'm 5'9" and will never be anywhere near 110, 120, 130, etc.....and I know I'll look great when I get where I'm going, with all my curves. :smooched: I don't let myself be bothered by where others want to be at the same height. As others have mentioned, weight is only one factor of this whole jouney and everyone has different frames, ideas, etc. And some people's goals might not even be healthy. Don't let other people get in your way!
  • kilsafari
    kilsafari Posts: 61
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!


    Thank you for this! I see others have replied harshly to your comment, but I COMPLETELY understand what you meant by it. Jeez people! I'm sure if you get off your high horse you really know what he meant too.

    I'm 5'9" and will never be anywhere near 110, 120, 130, etc.....and I know I'll look great when I get where I'm going, with all my curves. :smooched:

    No, frankly, I don't understand. What is helpful about calling other people's bodies gross or telling them what they should do based on your own opinion of how females "should" look to be appealing to men?
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    I doesn't bother me because my focus is not on being "skinny" or attaining an arbitrary "perfect weight" based on society's perception of beauty. My focus is on being healthy, fit and strong.
  • LizL217
    LizL217 Posts: 217 Member
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!


    Thank you for this! I see others have replied harshly to your comment, but I COMPLETELY understand what you meant by it. Jeez people! I'm sure if you get off your high horse you'd know what he meant too.

    I'm 5'9" and will never be anywhere near 110, 120, 130, etc.....and I know I'll look great when I get where I'm going, with all my curves. :smooched: I don't let myself be bothered by where others want to be at the same height. As others have mentioned, weight is only one factor of this whole jouney and everyone has different frames, ideas, etc. And some people's goals might not even be healthy. Don't let other people get in your way!

    Others were replying harshly to his comment because body shaming--whether it be of overweight or underweight people--should be discouraged. It's never ok, even if the intent is to be supportive. We don't need to disparage other people's goals to justify our own.

    To the OP, don't worry about what other people's goals are. Height and weight are just 2 parts of the health & fitness equation. Focus on your own goals for body fat % and fitness metrics, don't worry so much about scale weight and what yours might be versus that of your friends.
  • emmanap91
    emmanap91 Posts: 300 Member
    Well as a man.... Women who are 5'8" and weigh 100 lbs are gross!! At that height I find nothing under 130-135 attractive!! Women are supposed to have some curves. I have no attraction to womem who look like 12 year old boys!!


    Thank you for this! I see others have replied harshly to your comment, but I COMPLETELY understand what you meant by it. Jeez people! I'm sure if you get off your high horse you'd know what he meant too.

    I'm 5'9" and will never be anywhere near 110, 120, 130, etc.....and I know I'll look great when I get where I'm going, with all my curves. :smooched: I don't let myself be bothered by where others want to be at the same height. As others have mentioned, weight is only one factor of this whole jouney and everyone has different frames, ideas, etc. And some people's goals might not even be healthy. Don't let other people get in your way!

    Others were replying harshly to his comment because body shaming--whether it be of overweight or underweight people--should be discouraged. It's never ok, even if the intent is to be supportive. We don't need to disparage other people's goals to justify our own.

    To the OP, don't worry about what other people's goals are. Height and weight are just 2 parts of the health & fitness equation. Focus on your own goals for body fat % and fitness metrics, don't worry so much about scale weight and what yours might be versus that of your friends.



    Thank you, that guy was very wrong and that woman didn't seem to understand why.

    Back to the original topic - I guilt myself about this ALL THE TIME. Whenever I see a woman who has what I consider a beautiful body, I try to find out her height and weight and I calculate her BMI to compare to my own. I am fully aware of the limitations of the BMI system, but I'm insane and I always want to compare myself to others and it's the simplest way. When I see a woman who is 5'8" and 120 pounds (which - to me - is a more attractive/realistic example than 5'8" and 100 pounds), I find her BMI and then calculate what weight I'd need to match her BMI (at 5'3", I'd need to weigh about 103 pounds). It's utter nonsense especially because I don't know her lean body mass and everyone has a different body composition and frame. I still do it because I'm an idiot.

    So no OP, you are not alone in this.
  • becksxxx70
    becksxxx70 Posts: 234 Member
    I sometimes feel my goal weight can't be low/ambitious enough when I see the (goal) weights of people on here who are my height!

    Of course, I know their statistics have no bearing on me and I know I might reevaluate my goal weight when I get there (doubtful tho as I've always been at the higher end of my weight range (when within it LOL))
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    A person who is 5'8" and 100 pounds needs to see a doctor. :indifferent:
  • Catfriend25
    Catfriend25 Posts: 95
    Thanks for all Your encouraging comments, comforting to read!
    And about the comment that struck up debate, I think he was highlighting that 5'8 and 100 isn't healthy in a more dramatic words, and he's right! Thank You for reminding me that being healthy is more important than being thin!

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