How do I respond to my husband?

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Replies

  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    i don't know. i can't really relate to this. I understand preference. I understand not being attracted to certain things, and I don't begrudge anyone who acts on their preferences. it just doesn't apply to me at the moment.

    If my wife were 200lbs, 115lbs, or anything in between - she'd still be hot to me. I don't love my wife because of her body. I love her body because it's my wife's.
  • nilbogger
    nilbogger Posts: 870 Member
    He probably won't even notice much difference when another 10 pounds comes off. I don't think a lot of men have a strong concept of what different weights look like on different women. Hell, i don't think a lot of WOMEN have a good concept of that.

    Just keep doing what you're doing.
  • ChaplainHeavin
    ChaplainHeavin Posts: 426 Member
    Just say "sure honey" and do what you want anyway.

    ^This^

    Hmmm. This explains how things are done at my house:)
  • Sun_Wukong
    Sun_Wukong Posts: 131
    Exactly what did he say that made you think "sabotage?"

    It sounds like to me that the man simply gave you a compliment. Let's not go over-analyzing things.
    Ah the voice of reason, apparently any act has become an act of sabotage according to a large proportion of threads...

    Offering somebody food, complimenting someone's current physique, inviting someone to a restaurant that isn't subway, providing food at social events that hasn't been meticulously weighed and portioned out, eating around your significant other, the presence of birthday cake at a birthday (OMG), public holidays, advertising etc etc

    Sabotage used to have a different meaning but now it seems to be the replacement for lack of willpower, a scapegoat for lack of self-control.

    Part of developing good eating habits is learning how to control yourself in real world situations, as you are not vacuum sealed in an underground bunker away from the rest of humanity...well I hope you aren't.

    Yes we are influenced by the people that surround us and our environment but I would like to think people are committing to more than just strengthening their physical being but also their mental fortitude.
  • msbunnie68
    msbunnie68 Posts: 1,894 Member
    My pic is me at 120 pounds. My hubby was a bit concerned I would become a stick when I started my lifestyle change.


    Needless to say...he does not complain at all. I still have my curves they just don't WOBBLE everywhere.
  • MrsBenTarr
    MrsBenTarr Posts: 42 Member
    Maybe "sabotage" wasn't the best word. I guess I was worried that I will get to a point where I'm "not quite there yet" and he will tell me to stop losing weight because I wasn't attractive to him anymore. It's ridiculous thinking -- he loved me at 201 lbs, he'll love me at a lower weight, too.

    I will just smile and nod and reassess as I need, and appreciate that I have a husband who likes women with a shelf for a behind. :)
  • loosinit42806
    loosinit42806 Posts: 142 Member
    Tell him you'll see how it goes along the way.

    Great idea!
    I think when he sees that your happier then he will in turn be happier because he sees how prod of your self you are!
    You deserve to do this for you!
    Don't let this bring you down im sure he just doesn't want to loose d=sight of the Physical attributes he finds sexy about you :)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Let me start by saying that my husband is VERY supportive. He saw me lose about 40 lbs before, gain it all back and then some, and this time around he's my number one cheerleader. However, last night he said something to me that made me take a pause:

    "I don't want you to get down to 140 because I'm afraid you won't have any curves. If you lost 10 more pounds, I'd be fine with that."

    My goal weight is 140. I am currently 178 and I'm 5'4". I am by no means happy with myself yet. I reassured him that, based on my other family members, I will always be thick in the thigh and booty department, even if I am 140 lbs. I also told him that this is not about him, it's about me. I want to have a fit physique, not a skinny one.

    What do I say to him that will keep him from sabotaging my weight loss?
    Ask him if he thinks Marilyn Monroe didn't have curves. She was 5'5" and her weight fluctuated between 118 and 140 pounds, give or take.

    My fiance is the same. It's funny because I was pretty thin when we met and gained some weight after and as I was losing it, he was upset because he likes my body shape and thought being thinner would mean no curves. Well, I'm an hourglass (same dimensions as MM, actually, only shorter and fatter. lol), so no matter what I weigh I will ALWAYS have curves -- boobs and hips and a relatively tiny waist.
  • Hophead43
    Hophead43 Posts: 1,634 Member
    Tell him no SEX until your reach your goal weight!! He'll change his tune! LOL:smooched:
  • sweetqueene
    sweetqueene Posts: 7
    Just say "sure honey" and do what you want anyway.

    exactly :)
  • LauraRose03
    LauraRose03 Posts: 140
    Thats a very sweet thing for him to say! That being said, I am your height and 140 right now. Trust me, the curves do NOT leave. Lol. In fact, they become more defined and give me a nice hour-glass figure. You'll love the way and look and feel and I bet he will too!
  • LauraRose03
    LauraRose03 Posts: 140
    Tell him no SEX until your reach your goal weight!! He'll change his tune! LOL:smooched:

    LOL!!!! Great response ^^^^
  • MrsBenTarr
    MrsBenTarr Posts: 42 Member
    Tell him no SEX until your reach your goal weight!! He'll change his tune! LOL:smooched:

    LOL He sure will! :flowerforyou:
  • becs3578
    becs3578 Posts: 836 Member
    I am 132 right now and 5'4 and there are still PLENTY of curves and junk in the trunk...

    I had a former BF like that. I think you need to feel good about you. And when you feel good, they will too. They just don't know it yet ;).
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    If a man had said that to me when I was 178 I'd have married him on the spot. He wouldn't have been allowed to say no. However, it would not have been good for my overall health or joints and shopping for clothes was even more of a pain then than it is now.

    But still. Appreciate what you have, even if you have to gently explain that your health is important to both of you.

    Also, what Becs said. In a way I have more curves now, instead of one belly curve and a couple of hips sticking out the side.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    Tell him you can discuss your final goal as you get closer. I'm ~15 pounds from (perhaps) my goal and won't know what I think of it until I get there...
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    I'm 5'5" and have fluctuated from 125-144 and have plenty of curves at all times. I don't think your have to worry about losing curves unless you get down below 110 or something..... 140 is still higher end of normal weight if I remember right.
  • jasminemars01
    jasminemars01 Posts: 27
    I am sure your weight, whatever it is or will be, is not so important that it would ever be a deal breaker. People say things sometimes about our weight or looks that causes us to derail or limit our success or change our course of action. Be aware of that and don't let what your husband says derail you. If you would be happy and healthy at 130, I don't see why he wouldn't he happy with you at that weight. Body types can get bigger or smaller but the shape doesn't change all that much.
  • Kimdbro
    Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
    I don't think you need to say anything. when you get to 150 you may find that you are happy at that weight and it's a win-win. I think it's too early to make any hard and fast decisions.

    I agree, I really wouldn't see any reason to say anything at this point. A smile and an "awe hunny" oughta do it. If you hit 160 or 150 you might be totally happy with yourself and decide to stay there, or you may go on to 140, and he might find that 140 isn't as "uncurvy" as he thinks, etc. It was my experience that at 160lbs I felt and looked amazing and fit. My goal at the time was 140lb... the scale is a funny thing and the "magic' number in our head isn't always the right one. In the mean time, isn't it lovely to have a hubby that prefers a little extra 'curves'
  • Vanguard1
    Vanguard1 Posts: 384 Member
    As a man who loves curves, I would heed the advice of not telling him your weight. Keep doing it, and doing it right and you should have plenty of curves for him.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    I would just not tell him your weight....he can be supportive of your fitness level and not your weight.

    Exactly! If you are sure you will keep them anyways then it won't even matter ;) I just tell mine that I have a 'look' that I want and when I get there I will stop.
  • ncrugbyprop
    ncrugbyprop Posts: 96 Member
    Ignore that crap and keep your eye on your goal. He's just providing you a soft place to land in case you don't meet your goal... He'll be perfectly happy if you do.

    If he actually is supportive, he probably was trying to do just that and wanting to reassure you in case you didn't make your goal. Of course he violated the first rule of married man life.
  • ashleeei
    ashleeei Posts: 35
    Tell him you will take it a day at a time and stop when you think you are where you want to be... Tell him your not stuck on being that # but that its the # you are focusing on until you achieve that goal you are happy with!!

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