too many steps backwards

I've been trying to lose wgt by counting calories. The only diet i had not done in my life. Well, staying within calories is hard for me. Losing at a slow rate.. 1 lb a week if I'm lucky. Well, life happened and mom went in hospital for double bypass.. calorie counting went right out the window.. lost 5 lbs in 6 weeks and gained all that back in just one. Right now I just feel like I wasted my time even trying. Any words of encouragement to keep me going would be appreciated.... cause right now.. i really do feel like giving up.. but since i have a herbal life shake with apple in my hand.. maybe I really don't want to give up. Help..



  • eelamme
    eelamme Posts: 1,135 Member
    I restarted MFP after a long hiatis this past Jan. Did a heck of a job from then until mid March. Avg'd a lb a week and lost 15. Course, I had a specific goal. My 35th birthday....and a trip to Disney, I wanted to feel like a princess. Since then I haven't been able to get back into it and have slowly gained 6lbs back. I'll do well for 3 to 4 days and then fail for about the same. I know it is going to be a slow process. I know I cannot be too hard OR too easy on myself. Doesn't help the discouragement though. feel free to add me. Sometimes having others with the same issue to talk to helps.
  • Jade0529
    Jade0529 Posts: 213 Member
    I hope that your mom is okay. That is really stressful for everyone involved, so it's understandable how you slipped into old eating patterns.
    You can either wait until you feel ready to tackle this new lifestyle or try small things like pre portioning out food and pre-logging so when you are in a rush to see your mom etc you can just grab the food and go and you don't have to think about calories
  • prestonsnana
    prestonsnana Posts: 69 Member
    We all have horrible days, I do too :-) But its not the end of the world, I have some digestive issues(not being able to goto the bathroom and I have diverticulitos) so the weight is coming off of me very very slowly :-( But it is coming off slowly but surely wins the race. Get back on the fitness wagon and chin up YOU GOT THIS !!!! Feel free to add me as a friend also :tongue:
  • missabeez
    missabeez Posts: 280 Member
    The six pounds probably was not a true gain of six pounds. It may have been 2 or 3, if that. If you get back to it you will likely drop back down. A combination of worry and stress for your mom, tracking calories not being in the forefront of your mind, more salt, less water, etc. probably brought your water weight up this week.

    You can still keep going! We are always going to take a couple steps backwards before moving forward again when we are trying to make life changes.
  • Hope your mum is feeling better.. Don't give up.. You can do this! I have done the same 2 steps forward and 4 backwards but don't see it as you have let yourself down because you haven't! you are only human and when we go through difficult times its hard to function let alone count calories. So you had a lil hiccup.. Keep your chin up and just get right back to were you left off. Keep going because in a few days time you will feel much better :)
  • TrinaGayle
    TrinaGayle Posts: 8 Member
    Thank you Everyone.. .. I will take a breath, refocus.. load up fridge with the Good Food and try, try again.
  • beckyjeanleemaddox
    beckyjeanleemaddox Posts: 154 Member
    First of all let me say I know where you're coming from. I'm frustrated, This is getting old. My patience is wearing thin. Life happened to me in bunches for the past few days. But I'm not giving up. Just imagine where we'll be if we stick it out in a few months. I don't want to let you down and please don't give up. We're here for you!!!!! My mom was in the hospital for 6 days 1 week ago. I didn't get too far off track but my stomach was a mess, I couldn't find good stuff to eat. I ate some "low" cal chips but mostly just ate protein and greens and I found a Starbucks that made me skinny mochas in the am it was bitter and sweet and had artificial sweetner. Because today I'm in the fake it to I make it mode I have a plan. Take it one day at a time, forget about yesterday and just move ahead. I'm still overeating which has to stop but I'm overeating on stuff like cantelope so the pounds won't come back. It's a whole life change, You can do this!!!!
  • Sikketh
    Sikketh Posts: 12 Member
    I've recently jumped back onto the tracks with my goals. I'm training for a Spartan race later this year, and they posted something that stuck with me, that might help you, too.

    "Giving up because of a setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat."

    You can recover from this.
  • I love this quote!!
  • klkateri
    klkateri Posts: 432 Member
    I totally know where you are coming from and once things settle down and you can refocus on yourself you will be able to lose it.

    Here is my story-

    Last year, I decided that I didn't want to be fat for my 35th bday so I started going to the gym and counting calories. It was slow losing the weight but I was. By about this time last year, I had lost 15-20 pounds. I was really happy. But, I was also dealing with my dad being sick so trying to spend time with my parents as well. (He was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer the day after Christmas).

    Then, summer came and I wasn't going to the gym much but I was still active and maybe dropped another 5-10 pounds. Very slow weight loss but at least I was active and doing things.

    Then, the end of July I got a frantic call from my mom at 2am in the morning. My dad was in the local hospital and getting rushed to a more high tech hospital up by me. I was up till 4am waiting for him to get admitted and settled so I could talk to him. I stressed ate for the entire 2 hours. No piece of junk food survived.

    He couldn't walk and could barely breath. He was on 100% O2 and even then, just talking to me for a couple minutes on the phone was taxing to him. That was the start of the end.

    So for the next week I was at the hospital everyday with him in the ICU and all there was do to was eat... and I did. I would need a break so I'd go down to the coffee shop and get a coffee and donuts. Id get a snack at the cafeteria. I drank soda like crazy because it was so dry.

    A week later he died from compilations from the Chemo for his cancer. The same day, I had family come in from California ( I live in NY). What should have been a nice, family reunion started off with a funeral. I didn't eat for two days but then, I was so depressed all I did was eat...

    and eat...

    and eat.... 40lbs back on. So the weight I loss and then some.

    Fast forward to my 35th bday (The one I didn't want to be fat for) at my all time heaviest at 272. I didn't care cuz I was still depressed and angry at what happened.

    But I knew that I didn't want an early grave either and the best way to honor my dad's memory was to take care of my self. In that moment, I knew it was time to lose the weight. So here I am today, 23 pounds lighter and still working towards my ultimate long term goal.

    You will get there... this is just a setback but YOU HAVE THE INNER STRENGTH TO DO THIS!! ALLOW YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL AND THEN, FOCUS ON YOU!!

    Hugs and Best Wishes to you!!
    Also, feel free to add me if you'd like!!
  • LondonSuz
    LondonSuz Posts: 183 Member
    Hope you're doing okay Trina, life can be really pants sometimes and throws some horrible things at us to get through. I've been where you are with an unwell relative and know how it can all go out the window when you have so much on your mind and other things to focus on.
    I'd recommend you keep trying though, there may be days when you fall down but it's okay and it's about picking ourselves back up again. It doesn't matter how many steps you end up going backwards, it's that one step going forward that really and truly counts.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,619 Member
    Firstly, about pace of loss: With a fair bit to lose, it's really usual to lose a little faster at the beginning than you are. On the one hand, I'd say a pound is a pound, so at one level, don't worry too much - slow and steady is the way to lose. But on the other, your rate of loss is a little lower than I'd expect at your stage of the game. That makes me wonder how accurately you're estimating your calories. Are you weighing food? How are you measuring activity? What are you counting as activity? If you're counting anything 'everyday' as activity, and eating that back, don't - just purposeful exercise. If you're not weighing all your food - especially any calorie dense food - start weighing. We're not good judges of how much food there is on our plate, otherwise we wouldn't be as big as we are.

    Now, coming back to your regain. My sympathy. I've had the same experience (and with much more disastrous consequences) when my mum's been ill over a long time. It's very hard keeping an eye on your own health, when you're worried and when things are disrupted. It's important to remember firstly that the only way of succeeding at weightloss is not to never mess it up. Rather, success is about making sure that when you do mess up, you dust yourself off, let it go, and move forward. Get back in the game. Also, realistically, a lot of that gain is not 'real'. Rubbish food is salty, carb dense, and it means you hold a shed load of water. When you get back on track, try to eat as cleanly as you can for a few days, and I think you'll find quite a lot of that 'gain' goes down the toilet.

    Get back in focus. Remember a pound is a pound. Be careful with what you put in your body. Chin up, and carry on.
  • beckyjeanleemaddox
    beckyjeanleemaddox Posts: 154 Member
    I love this quote:smile:
  • beckyjeanleemaddox
    beckyjeanleemaddox Posts: 154 Member
    So many inspiring stories!! I love everyone of them.
  • Firehawk734
    Firehawk734 Posts: 132 Member
    What's done is done. You lost that 5 lbs, and even if you gained it back, you are not worse than you were. It won't take long to get that 5 lbs back off. And, frankly, time is going to go by anyway. The next week, and 2 weeks, and 3 weeks ,etc is going to occur. You can choose to do nothing and likely add more weight, or you can choose to get back onto your healthy lifestyle and begin making more progress :).

    The TIME is going by anyway. It's your choice...all yours!
  • liloldDee
    liloldDee Posts: 92 Member
    Sorry to hear your mum hadn't been well hope she's better soon.

    Up until this attempt life has always got in the way of my weightloss. This time around I decided to be ready for life getting in the way. I have a lot to lose but set a moderate calorie deficit and exercise quiet a bit so I have plenty of calories to eat and even if a day is out of the norm and I'm limited to where I can get something to eat, I can still eat and stay under calories.

    Since December my mother had an operation and ended back in hospital 3 times, my dad had a car crash and spent weeks in hospital. This was in the same time frame my mother was laid up. My sister in law died, my kids have been ill with bugs and colds and we've had numerous celebratory occasions, which I wanted to partake in. Through it all I stayed focused, yes some days I ate more than my calories allowed, sometimes my weight went up but I knew it wasn't a true gain just water weight from sodium and carb rich food. I've kept losing weight, sometimes nothing for weeks, sometimes a couple of pounds but usually one pound per week. Those pounds really add up.
    I'm not dieting, I've changed my lifestyle to one that fits in with living the highs and lows of living a normal life. I credit using a fitbit for also giving me lots of motivation and helping me understand how active I'm been and how many calories I've burned.

    I've accepted that if I end this year lighter than I started then weight loss wise it's been a success. It will take me quiet a while but I do believe that I will get there and while the journey will be long it won't be particularly hard most of the time.