No friends/support system

I have my husband, my 14 year old son and my Mom (That lives with us) and I love and appreciate their support, but we are all three (not my son) changing our eating habits and lifestyle, and I feel like the Engine Pulling/Pushing (encouraging) THEM, and even though they have agree to do this with me, I am the one that has to find all the ANSWERS. "Can I eat this, should I eat that, I'm hungry what can I eat" And on, and on! (which I don't mind at all, don't get me wrong)

I am from Oklahoma, so ALL of my friends are in Oklahoma. I have lived in North Carolina for almost 5 years and yet I have no friends here. It's sad, and depressing!! I don't feel supported, and encouraged!

Is there others out there who feel alone? How do you motivate and encourage yourself? (Other than the fact that your just sick of being overweight of course)
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Replies

  • Jesslane93
    Jesslane93 Posts: 190 Member
    I know how you feel, but I feel totally alone with changing my eating habits. My partner will not change the way he eats (He is very lucky and remains skinny no mater what or how much he eats) And all I have got is him and our one year old son.
    I find just talking to people online, and just looking at other before and after pictures really help me stay motivated and on track. Though it can be a bit hard when the partner pulls out a big bowl of ice cream in front of me.
    I just recently moved away from all my friends and family to another town, so I don't have anyone else other than my son and partner also.
  • swheart4981
    swheart4981 Posts: 16 Member
    Yeah That would be AWFUL! Your super woman if you can sit there and not eat the ice cream also! Feel free to add me if you'd like! I would be happy to be your friend even though I will totally have to google your weight system, as I am clueless LOL
  • I have all my fam n friends in Cali.
    Ive been in FL for 6 years never made long lasting friends
    Its just me my hubs and 2 kids, they are awesome support to me!

    I feel its kinda better doing this alone, too many opinions!
    Being on mfp has helped with motivation
    I have a great Friends list!

    Good luck!
  • cecesquats
    cecesquats Posts: 166 Member
    you should try blogging or keeping a private journal. writing out your thoughts, even if no one is reading, helps. it's an outlet to get all of your thoughts and feelings out.
  • CuteAndCurvy83
    CuteAndCurvy83 Posts: 570 Member
    Feel free to add me!
  • VoodooAborisha
    VoodooAborisha Posts: 147 Member
    Add me! I live in Denmark with my husband and son, no family here and only a couple of close friends. I just use facebook and myfitness pal a lot.
  • FirecrackerJess
    FirecrackerJess Posts: 276 Member
    I feel alone as well. I was just posting about how much of a failure I feel currently, and how hard things have been trying to stay positive and keeping on. I have no support system at all at home. I have the OPPOSITE of support. I'm constantly asked if I am gaining again, or told, "you lost weight? Where?" Or someone cooking great smelling HEAVY CALORIE FILLED food. I was doing ok for a while, but I'm in a place right now where I am so stressed and struggling. About to finish my Bachelors, having been laid off almost a year now and still not able to find work, as well as coming to the harsh realization that I am almost out of money. Stress has been piling on, and without support at home, with family who just make it so much harder than it already is, I've gained 3 lbs, and I just have been having such a hard time getting back on track.
  • eslcity
    eslcity Posts: 323 Member
    I live in Korea... all my friends and family are in the States.. I understand how you feel... while my wife is Korean.. she is like a walking stick person.... can eat and avil and some how weigh less the next day....

    The only support I have are the friends I have on MFP... and I find motivation on this board... seeing others like yourself who lose so much....

    Where in N. Carolina are you... I was raised in Lumberton, N.C.

    -ms
  • Jesslane93
    Jesslane93 Posts: 190 Member
    Yeah That would be AWFUL! Your super woman if you can sit there and not eat the ice cream also! Feel free to add me if you'd like! I would be happy to be your friend even though I will totally have to google your weight system, as I am clueless LOL

    I added you :) I find most people do pounds on here, and I am constantly googleing to convert pounds to kilo's so I can understand Lol
  • Timelordlady85
    Timelordlady85 Posts: 797 Member
    Feel free to add me. mom to 3 boys here. I don't have a lot of family or friends near me either. They all are scattered throughout the states.
  • 143tobe
    143tobe Posts: 620 Member
    I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I moved to Germany from California 5 years ago because my husband is German and this is where he wants to raise our family. It's honestly been awful for me. I gained a ton of weight while here, and I've never known such loneliness. Funny how I thought that getting married would ensure that I never be lonely again, and yet since getting married and having two kids, I've never felt or been so alone. I'm better off now than I was 5 years ago when I first arrived, but having very few or no friends is really hard. I know how you feel.

    Like many others here, I get a lot of support and encouragement from my friends here. They really do keep me going, and help me get back on track when I veer off course. Losing weight is hard and stressful. When you have other surrounding factors, it can be just plain hard and feel almost impossible. But the good news is it's not! For starters, you just gotta surround yourself with the right friends on here, and soon you'll find the inspiration you need to get that scale moving! I wish you lots of luck and feel free to add me too.

    Firecracker. I'm so sorry for all you've been going through. Hugs to you. Anyone else feeling alone, feel free to add me too! :) Let's be alone together! :laugh:
  • HI there! I have just joined and I feel similar to you. I did lose weight a while ago and then, due to some very difficult circumstances, put it all back on. I have a husband and two kids. I also do not live where I grew up, and have found myself in a relatively unfriendly town. I have a few friends here, but they are all busy and I don't see them a lot. My family is nowhere near, and scattered, and not close in terms of emotional support. I am trying Myfitnesspal, as I know it was very helpful for a friend of mine -she looks great! Also,
    another friend who lives quite a long way from me, also wants to lose weight, and her sister used Myfitnesspal and Couch to 5K and has lost loads of weight and goes running regularly. I really want that for myself, I mean the fitness...not necessarily the running, although I was going to have a go at it...I would like to fit into some nice clothes and feel trim. A diary has never worked for me, but hopefully this message board will. Best of luck to you. It would be good to keep in touch if you want to. Cat:happy:
  • Lisagreenham
    Lisagreenham Posts: 2 Member
    Hi , I am just starting this , have been weightwatchers and slimming world but cant find time with busy life !! It can be isolating online, liking fitness pal because it focus on targets like saying in 5 weeks you will be ... if you keep up !! Feel free to add me as we can kep each other motivated, have a lovely day and speak soon, Lisa :-)
  • logg1e
    logg1e Posts: 1,208 Member
    It sounds as though having to be in charge, and having all of the answers, is causing you stress. You could try something different, and try, "Hmmm, what do you think?" or "I'm not sure could you look it up?".
  • kar328
    kar328 Posts: 4,159 Member
    I'm on my own, no hubby or kids and living in NC as well, but I'm a native NYer. Not a whole lot of friends in real life, most of them are online and it's always been that way. So, with all this, I fully appreciate the "friends" I have and have found that I can get a lot out of the relationships since there's less pressure and people care without any agendas, judgements etc. Coming here is my little escape from reality and I treasure it.
  • I'm from NC & all of my friends & family are still there but i've lived in MO for almost 3 years now & still don't have any friends. I know how hard it is to be that far away from all of your friends. I only have my husband but since he's gone most of the time at work & it's just me & the cat in the house I really have no support system at home. I have made some awesome friends on here though that help keep me motivated when i'm really tired/lazy or just need encouragement. I also look at the Success Stories board a lot & it helps remind me that I can do this.
  • runningjen74
    runningjen74 Posts: 312 Member
    Sorry about that. I'm lucky I live somewhere I've a great support network. However, I have lived away before - it takes time and effort. You need to get out and join something to meet people. It doesn't have anything to do with weight loss, just generally having local friends makes life easier. In the past I've joined exercise classes, hill walking group, choirs, bookcrossing meetup, French classes ... you need to join some thing that interests you. It doesn't need to cost much - look in your local library for groups, look in signs in local shops, etc...
  • I know how you feel. Moved thousand of miles to London last year and was alone for months! No family here, no friends, no partner, nothing. Eat alone, walk alone, workout alone and sometimes I even talk to myself out loud. :laugh: Now finally made some IRL friends but we don't really share the same interests. It's tough but I am always socially awkward, maybe that's why.

    I leaned a lot on my friends here in MFP. They got me through. That and hours-long skyping sessions with family back home. And if you think I can be a great addition to your fl, feel free to add me. So can everyone else. :flowerforyou:
  • Hey girl ????????????hugs... Being lonely sucks.. I'm English but live in Ireland. Like you I've been there a long time without making friends.. Mfp I've made friends that txt write kik all the time. I'd be lost without them. Friend request me or accept my request and I'll introduce you xx
  • Some people don't have a family at all in addition to not having an outside support system! Think of that and maybe You will feel better about it~ Man, sometimes I think, how much better I would feel about myself, if I had just one person in my life who thought of me in a positive way....
  • kir180
    kir180 Posts: 4
    Hi .. I am from Australia but moved to London over 10 years ago. My very close friends are all in Australia and while I have some close friends here I can identify with you all. I have gained an enormous amount of weight and some of it is due to loneliness. Anyway I am going to add you all as it is always nice to make new friends!
  • I find the best support for my weight loss are my MFP friends...everyone on here, friend or not seem to be very supportive, informative, and willing to offer advice or suggestions. My family are also supportive and encouraging, but they don't all understand the commitment it takes to do this on a day to day basis. Most of my co-workers seem to think it's funny that I'm trying to be healthier. Sorry, this may not answer your concerns, but like most people on here, I'd be happy to add you as a friend and try to provide support and encouragement to the best of my ability. Meantime...keep the faith :)
  • Seriously, I don't get how You can say that You have no support system when most of you have children or a partner, some people in this world are actually alone, at least You have someone that supports You in GENERAL and talks to You about Your day, etc
  • buttercup68110
    buttercup68110 Posts: 86 Member
    I am a newlywed with two toddlers and even though my husband supports any thing I do he does not have an issue with my weight. He loves plus size women. I'm not making my family change their eating habits I am only changing mines. Its hard being alone in the process. I have friends and co-workers but they do not understand why I am trying to lose weight. So when i announce that I am on a diet or working out they usually say 'How long will this one last" and they are right it usually don't last long. So this time I am trying something different. I am not telling them. I am not telling my family or friends. I am not going to deal with the pressure of losing weight. When my co workers order lunch or go out to lunch I politely pass and stick with my salad or veggies. Its kinda nice not having all of attention on my of how I am looking or what I am doing. Right now I am only on my first week but so far going good.
  • fyouapp
    fyouapp Posts: 2
    I know how you feel. When I lived in Korea, I lost a lot of weight (I hate seafood so my options were pretty limited) but I moved to NC two years ago and I don't know many people here. I have my boyfriend around but he eats like a pregnant woman (ice cream, BBQ chips, etc)... always munching on something and some how, he is still fit/in shape for the Marine Corps! I have tried to do things his way but never again! He turns into a Drill Sergeant. But one thing I do is what was listed above; write my thoughts down in a journal. I also have a page in my school binder where I keep track of my daily weight loss and the percentages I would lose a week if every day were like today (E.G. 1.75 pounds a week or 2.54 pounds a week). I want to lose between two and three pounds a week so checking myself on a daily basis ensures that by the end of the week, I will lose those two to three pounds.
  • Texsox
    Texsox Posts: 146 Member
    Interesting, my buddies at work are my biggest challenges. I really enjoy working with them and when lunch time rolls around and they are heading off for a very fast lunch I really hate hanging behind to eat at my desk. (we are teachers and have 40 minutes to drive somewhere, order, eat, and get back i.e. faster than fast food) So friends are a double edged sword.

    Have you tried asking them to help? Hey why don't you pick a snack for Tuesday and you for Wednesday? How about we each plan a day of meals?
  • Alycem86
    Alycem86 Posts: 6
    I'm sorry all of your friends are back in Oklahoma :( Could they visit you in North Carolina? Could you go visit them? Maybe that could be your gift to yourself after you lose x amount of pounds?! :)

    I think it says something about YOU that your husband and mother are looking to you for nutritional support and advice! They trust you be educated enough to give them sound advice. I know it must be really hard to always be the "go to" person (I'm that person in my family for everything technological...and other things! haha), but it does say that they love and trust your opinion. Hopefully they start to remember / learn about healthy eating; and the questions will subside! :)
  • abrockhausen
    abrockhausen Posts: 35 Member
    Well now you have all of us :) I just moved to NC in January. My hubby is supportive, he says he loves me and thinks I am gorgeous now but that he is on board with a healthier happier me. Sendind a friend request your way.
  • Nerdybookworm1990
    Nerdybookworm1990 Posts: 35 Member
    It can be really hard to change your habits while those around you continue with the old. Feel free to add me and I will try to help you!
  • swheart4981
    swheart4981 Posts: 16 Member
    I live in Korea... all my friends and family are in the States.. I understand how you feel... while my wife is Korean.. she is like a walking stick person.... can eat and avil and some how weigh less the next day....

    The only support I have are the friends I have on MFP... and I find motivation on this board... seeing others like yourself who lose so much....

    Where in N. Carolina are you... I was raised in Lumberton, N.C.

    -ms

    I live around Gastonia! :) I have already gotten a TON of friends, so I should have lotsa people cheering me on! It's AWESOME!!! THANKS!