What I used to be and where I am now.

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Hi Everyone:

I think I've been in denial for a while. As of late, though, I've come to the realization that I'm fat and not nearly as attractive as I used to be. I often look at photos of the younger me and wonder what the heck happened in the last 5 years. I went from being beautiful to a total frump fest. I hate it. I need to get back to where I was. Actually, I want to be better than that. I was never fit. Sure, I was thin and looked good, but I want to get to go beyond the looks. I want to be STRONG. ACTIVE. RESILIENT.

I wanted to say hello to everyone. I begin my journey at 185-190 lbs. Last time I weighed myself, I was 183lbs. My weight goes up and down in a matter of days (not sure why that is). I also can gain and lose quickly, too. I used to be around 120-125 about 5 years ago. After getting married, I quickly began to add on the pounds. Now, two kids later, I'm a whopping 60 lbs bigger.

Clothes don't fit like they used. When I walk into a store, I have to buy clothes that will fit me -- not ones that I like necessarily. I don't like going out as much. I avoid seeing people. I also don't like dancing anymore. I used to love to dance. My body can't handle all this weight. It's not something it's used to I guess. I'm not used to this. I wake up and ask myself how I got here. The novelty of being fat has worn of (yes, it was a novelty for me).

I want the change. I need it. Sort of feel like I've hit rock bottom.

Thank you for reading.

Replies

  • Justju88
    Justju88 Posts: 1 Member
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    If you've hit rock bottom, then the only way is up!

    You've made a really good decision to start a new way of life, and you are the only one who can do it. It feels good taking control back over your body, but I truly believe you need to be kind to yourself and love yourself a bit, because if you loathe yourself you won't be able to give yourself what you need. Only by caring for ourselves can we nurture the goodness back.

    There are so many successful stories which are inspirational.

    Good luck on your journey, and keep us posted!

    Xx
  • NidiaG24
    NidiaG24 Posts: 31 Member
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    bump
  • triciaroo
    triciaroo Posts: 13
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    As has been said by pp, you've made a good decision! I'm bigger after having my first baby who's nearly four months old now and want to lose the excess and get much fitter. I have never, ever been fit and really want to feel healthy as well as look it. So, I've just had my gym induction this week. Two hour long sessions each week, plus some swimming whilst little one is at the grandparents. Also taking him swimming tomorrow too as I want him to grow up being active and healthy too. Want to set a good example and show him how it's done!

    Good luck with it. I'll add you :)
  • joybedford
    joybedford Posts: 1,680 Member
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    As others have said the only way is up. I remember being where you are now, looking at photos and not recognising myself, losing my own identity only introducing myself as Marcus, Lydia and Piers mum. It wasn't me and I hated it. It took my son getting himself in a dangerous position and my being too overweight to do anything about it to change my path. Start small, work out a plan, do things you enjoy and get support. MFP was a major factor in my success, and stillI is. I have some great friends on my friend list. They have been there for me through my recent health crisis, offering support when I have regained some if the weight through fibromyalgia. Find like minded friends and good luck, add me if you want to. You can do this if you really want to.
  • novembersuse
    novembersuse Posts: 77 Member
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    Good on you for deciding. It's really easy to say you're going to 'watch what you eat', 'cut down a bit' etc., but making a conscious decision to acknowledge your situation and revamp things is really positive. Good luck!
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
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    Hiyah
    lots of people that have been in the same boat so you have come to the right place. I always knew I was fat but didnt know what to do about it also was too lazy to move more. When I saw a friend of mine who i thought looked great make an effort to lose weight, I just thought what the hell am i doing then since actually i am the fat one. I even had the cheek to think my scales were broken when it told me I was almost 15 stones. Well 400 + days later I have no regrets what so ever. I passed the goal i set myself and i am still working to make improvements. The best thing is I still eat my loves but less of them. You really can do this. Very best of luck.

    p.s leslie sansone walk at home dvds are a good place to start if finding it hard to exercise at the moment, but most important of all watch what you eat but pls do not go hungry as its not necessary. x
  • Fattackler2013
    Fattackler2013 Posts: 142 Member
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    Well you've reached the bottom so the only way is up. You can turn your life around. I've always been heavy, but over the years my weight has spiralled out of control. It's not that I haven't ever lost weight, it's just that I've never been able to maintain momentum and remember why I'm doing, however that stops this time around.

    I have to change my life before it's too late and you can do it too; All you have to do is alter your mindset and remain focused.

    Feel free to add me if you wish. I'm very supportive and I could do with some more in return to ensure that I remain on track.
  • DMicheleC
    DMicheleC Posts: 171 Member
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    You have made the first step on your journey to health and fitness, good luck. We are all in the same boat and understand what you will go through to get to your goal. Some days you will fall of the wagon and feel angry with yourself, but the best thing is that everyone you tell on here will totally understand where your coming from, as they will have been there. Keep logging on and logging calories and exercise, don't worry how long it takes, just remember with each 1lb you loose you are one step closer to where you want to be, always remember that and it will help you in the tough times. One day like us all you will post photos of your before and after and that will be the biggest high you will ever have. Well done for joining, things will only get better from now on. :flowerforyou:
  • aarnwine2013
    aarnwine2013 Posts: 317 Member
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    Just wanted to say hello and wish you luck! We've all been there and I guess that's why we are here!

    You can do this!
  • Watermelon398
    Watermelon398 Posts: 37 Member
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    We all started at our worst/heavist/most downtrodden too! Welcome! :) Good luck! Add me if you like I'm on daily.
  • medaud10
    medaud10 Posts: 20
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    There comes a point where we have to say "enough, I refuse to go any further". You can do this one day at a time and one healthy choice at a time.
  • greengrassgala
    greengrassgala Posts: 15 Member
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    Thank you for the very warm welcome!

    I went on a few walks last month. Then, I stopped. I enjoyed them. Refreshing 1 hour walks around our neighbourhood. I don't know why I stopped.

    I hope to start walking again.

    Thank you, all!