Weight Loss Envy?
dsb188
Posts: 121 Member
Has anyone dealt with a friend, co worker, etc who have made snarky comments about the weight you have lost?
I have had people tell me "It doesn't look like you lost that much" or "its just water weight" etc. I'm down about 43 pounds and I'm proud of that. It makes me happy to see people who have lost anything at all. I think its motivation to see someone who has lost more weight than me because it makes me wants to keep going.
I just see the positive in all of it but I notice some people are not as excited about it. Its not easy to lose weight it just bothers me people are so quick to downplay your success be it 1lb to 100lbs. Either way its great in my book!
I have had people tell me "It doesn't look like you lost that much" or "its just water weight" etc. I'm down about 43 pounds and I'm proud of that. It makes me happy to see people who have lost anything at all. I think its motivation to see someone who has lost more weight than me because it makes me wants to keep going.
I just see the positive in all of it but I notice some people are not as excited about it. Its not easy to lose weight it just bothers me people are so quick to downplay your success be it 1lb to 100lbs. Either way its great in my book!
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Replies
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only me envy others who can lose easier than me...nobody else envies me yet.
I have to say I am bitter from time to time because of frustration of my own lack of progress but I try not to make snarky comments on others only joke with my friends by mocking myself.0 -
My other half told me the other day that he felt guilty because I was losing weight and he wasn't even trying. It made me feel a little guilty for talking about losing weight and for watching what I'm eating. I didn't really know what to say.
-Carla0 -
H sometimes gives me a hard time for losing more weight than him this year. But then I point out that I am weighing and measuring the stuff I eat and staying on goal. That usually shuts him up.
Though I probably have been gloating a bit more than I should but it is the first time ever I have lost more than him over the same time period. Usually his loss is more than double what I may lose.0 -
Yes i have had it from a fellow co worker asking me what drugs i was taking. I have also had another saying "oh you dont look like you have lost that, youve quite a bit to go".
I get upset about these and other comments i have had but it makes me all the more determined to succeed in what i want regarding my weight.0 -
haters are going to hate. don't pay them any mind. You are doing it for yourself not for them. and when you look fabulous and they say wow you look great, just tell them...I know I do.0
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Even worse is the judgement of what I eat. I eat very healthy, and have for the past year, even though my weighloss has only been about 10 pounds (not that noticeable on a 212 lb frame)...so I get the constant judgement when people see what I bring in to eat and say "oh trying to get healthy?" or "oh trying to lose weight?" Constantly. No, I just happen to like this food!!!! It's frustrating.0
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43 pounds of water weight? lol
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My other half told me the other day that he felt guilty because I was losing weight and he wasn't even trying. It made me feel a little guilty for talking about losing weight and for watching what I'm eating. I didn't really know what to say.
-Carla
NO NO NO!! You don't feel guilty about that!! You do what you are doing and give encouragement to your OH when appropriate. You may find if you play this right that he will join and you guys will share a common interest that will bring you closer. But you can't force the issue either; people have to come to terms with this on their own!0 -
I think one of my friends is slightly jealous, although she is definitely happy for me too. She has never been obese on the level that I was (5'8" and 307 lb was my largest and I think her largest was around 190 lb at 5'3"). A little over a year ago she was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and changed her diet and she lost around 35-40 lb in just a couple of months, and got really excited about being so much thinner and wearing smaller sizes and so on. Meanwhile I was losing very slowly but also a very considerable amount. I am still much larger than her, and probably always will be since I am just a bigger person than she is and 5+ inches taller. But I think it bugs her sometimes that I am continuing to go down in sizes. She has backslid a bit into previous eating habits now that her diabetes is under control, and is wearing a size 12 I think. Last summer she was in a 10. I mentioned that I wear 14 right now and she was like "We are going to be the same size soon" and I could tell that it kind of freaked her out.0
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People are going to attack you and try and bring you down to their level since they don't want to do anything to get better themselves. If they make you closer to them or make you feel bad about getting better for yourself then they themselves feel better about themselves.0
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40 pounds is A LOT!!! Don't let them get you down, just keep plugging away and one day they will HAVE to say "wow you look great" and even if they don't the main thing is that you FEEL better and are healthier. Their pessimistic and negative attitudes are toxic to themselves in the end and you need to get rid of all the toxins in your life including negative people!0
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I have friends who are happy for me...but have made comments...not so much about my weight loss but more about my shape...(I lift heavy)
things like you have no butt...:noway: my hips are a 38...and most of it is butt...
or
your shoulders are too big you can't wear that shirt (tank top), my shoulders are defined...
or when they find out I am in the same size they are...they are happy for me but don't understand how that is possible...not outright saying I am lying...but
weighing 125 and in a size 5....me weighing 156 and in a size 5...0 -
Totally have!
It's jealousy, and you should just rise above it in your skinny jeans and short shorts. :drinker:0 -
HAHA my thoughts exactly!43 pounds of water weight? lol0 -
We have to do this for ourselves. It can't matter what others think.0
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No one envies me but I just started so it's not noticeable. I'm a tad jealous of a friend because she was a lot bigger and now weighs less than me. But she worked her *kitten* off and I know how much dedication it took for her to get where she is now. It pushes me to see the results I want to see because now I know it can be done. I think a little jealousy can be a good thing if it helps motivate a person but it seems like those people are just pissed because you look better than they do lol!0
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I have friends who are happy for me...but have made comments...not so much about my weight loss but more about my shape...(I lift heavy)
things like you have no butt...:noway: my hips are a 38...and most of it is butt...
or
your shoulders are too big you can't wear that shirt (tank top), my shoulders are defined...
or when they find out I am in the same size they are...they are happy for me but don't understand how that is possible...not outright saying I am lying...but
weighing 125 and in a size 5....me weighing 156 and in a size 5...
I have this problem all the time!! When I started lifting I kind of got discouraged because I only lost 10lbs... but I also went from wearing a size 10 to a 6!!! And friends still like to say things every now and again...but that's ok... I never listen to them anyway... I did this for me; not them.
It's truly amazing how much your friends and family will be the first one's to try and down grade your efforts...just keep doing your thing!0 -
I actually envy those who feel so good about themsevles, no matter how much weight they have lost or not lost...0
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Truthfully, most of them are jealous and want to discourage you so you'll stop and gain it all back. Don't let the "demons" get to you and congratulations on the loss, 43lbs is AMAZING and they're just blind if they can't see the difference.0
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Thanks Everyone for the replies! I am glad that I am not the only person who has experienced this in some form. I can't lie at one point i did have it but i would never vocalize it or say it to someone. I used it as motivation for me to get in shape!0
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hahha oh this is my favorite!0
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I lost about 20lbs a couple of years ago and felt great. Needless to say I put the weight back on and then some. I had lost enough that my jeans were practically falling off of me. My mother asked me why I was bothering getting new clothes when I was just going to put the weight back on. I know she was envious because she was 60lbs over weight. I'm still annoyed I've put the weight back on, but I'm working on it.0
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I lost about 20lbs a couple of years ago and felt great. Needless to say I put the weight back on and then some. I had lost enough that my jeans were practically falling off of me. My mother asked me why I was bothering getting new clothes when I was just going to put the weight back on. I know she was envious because she was 60lbs over weight. I'm still annoyed I've put the weight back on, but I'm working on it.
This is my story.
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Oh god, from everyone- I have lost 35lb, but still have 63lb till my goal- Im doing well, but still very overweight. My partner has told people that this diet is just one of my 'fads', one of my colleagues has told me 'its enough now, you're going overboard' (erm, still clincally morbidly obese, hello?!), and this weekend my sister and step mum (who are both only 1 stone from their own goal weights) both made catty comments about my bridesmaid dress for my friends upcoming wedding- one saying that I 'have a bloody long way to go' before I fit into it, and the other that I cant possibly wear that size, shes only one size smaller and Im much bigger than her! Cheers. I try to remind myself that it's just envy, but sometimes I just want to throttle them lol!0
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I had a co worker comment about my weight loss then the very next day she brought me 12 fresh glazed donuts. She knows I absolutely love them. It was the most evil thing anyone has done to me. Good thing is I only ate one then gave the rest away.0
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I had a very close friend tell me"you done that before and just gained it back." Well guess what, I'm just stubborn enough to prove him wrong! Also this time I have a realistic goal I know I can maintain AND MFP and everyone here to help me make it!0
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Good one! LOL
Some people are just envious and competitive to extreme. So they could feel better they discard your hard work. Don't loose energy with them, ignore them and don't let them pull you down.43 pounds of water weight? lol0 -
I experienced a lot of this form my sister as she was always skinnier than me, would always clal me fat and when my weight started to go down, hers went up.
I completely understand the envy, I'm sure a lot of people feel it. It is just how you react to it is the problem. At first I was laughed at my all members of my family/few others, I was teased for trying to get fit but now they all ask me for training/diet tips!0 -
I've had friends outright tell me they're jealous of me and then they look so disappointed when I tell them my ''secret''. I'm not sure why don't just try it my way, their shake diets etc have never worked. Not sure what magic moment they're waiting for. Sometimes I feel like they think the weight is just falling off me and that it hasn't required 5 months of hard work and a lot of dedication.0
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Sometimes I feel like they think the weight is just falling off me and that it hasn't required 5 months of hard work and a lot of dedication.
THIS! Its like they're p*ssed off with you for daring to try to better yourself, and you must be tricking them instead of working hard. Grrr.0
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