Stuck in a Fat Persons Body....SIck & Disgusted!!

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sclevenger1
sclevenger1 Posts: 12 Member
in Motivation and Support
The first time I have ever posted on an open forum (and I am terrified). I cried for about 2 hours after looking at these pics. When you look in the mirror, it doesn't seem as bad as when you take pictures and look at them. I know how I got here, I know why I look this way and I take full responsibility for it. I just need motivation to get out of this lifestyle and get back to the person I recognize in the mirror. Very sad day for me but I hope this is my first step in the right direction.


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Finally figured out the pics...sorry for the multiple posts.
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Replies

  • Catfriend25
    Catfriend25 Posts: 95
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    I'm very sorry for how You are feeling *hugs*
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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    This is most definitely a step in the right direction. I rememebr when I first started I always knew I was chubby but it wasn't until one day that I actually accepted that I was doing this to myself and how I got there and why that I was able to turn things around. It's hard and there are ups and downs. Some people lose the weight in less than a year or others will go it slow. The important thing is that you keep going, keep with it. keep trying and never give up on yourself because you are worth all the effort that it takes to get healthy. You deserve a healthier version of you and with that usually comes a happier version too.

    I wish you well during your transformation!!!
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    Excellent first step. Take some measurements, too. The photos and measurements will be excellent tools for motivation.

    But NOT from a perspective of self-loathing. If you try to make progress by hating the way you look, you'll be indulging in an unhealthy mentality that will ensure eventual relapse.

    But! If you look at that woman and love her, and have her come with you, and proudly show her what you are accomplishing, her pride will propel you forward.

    It's a hard distinction to articulate, but again, congratulations on finding your personal trainer :-)
  • briebuck
    briebuck Posts: 35 Member
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    I loved your post - Its everything I think and feel but can't put into words. :(

    Im 250lbs and still think of myself as the 160lbs person - I miss that confident and athletic person

    Theyre right about taking measurements - when the scale isnt changing you will notice the inches changing - which is what matters in the end anyways.

    I'm so used to just munching and munching when Im bored and ending a long day with a movie and a comatose-big meal.
    I;ve been trying to diet but I am having so much trouble breaking those habits - ideas?
  • ponycyndi
    ponycyndi Posts: 858 Member
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    You are a very beautiful woman. I know there is a skinny lady in there, and you will set her free!
  • Jeffs_Jess
    Jeffs_Jess Posts: 28
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    We always fail to see how beautiful we truly are.
    Look at you, you're a gorgeous woman.
    Please don't feel disgusting. I know it's hard. I started my journey at 340 lbs.
    But as you look through the threads here on this forum, you'll see that So many people have turned their lives around and continue to do so every day.
    You can be the person you want to be. Love and accept yourself for who you are today
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    That took a lot of courage...and you are already a gorgeous lady, period!!

    Not that beauty is all that matters, of course...but you have so much going for you looks wise...even with extra weight. You remind me of a lot of the absolute best jaw dropping success stories here because their before pics were often like yours, very pretty person who just got prettier as she lost weight. I have no doubt that with time & effort, you will be the same way.

    I totally agree with those who say it's best to come at this from a place of self-loving, rather than loathing.

    From a personal standpoint...I reached 307 back in 2008. It took me over 4 years to get down to 262 without MFP. 13 months after joining MFP, I weigh 186 for the first time in over 20 years. I am a believer that it really works. I wish you all the best!!!!
  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
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    "Stuck in a Fat Persons Body....SIck & Disgusted!!"

    This breaks my heart. I'm in maintenance (I came here to shape up a bit for competition.) but my wonderful, loving and handsome DH is still working on weight loss. I HATE the way he sees himself. I'm glad he wants to get healthier, as I love him and want him to live a long time, but this "I hate my body" thing hurts me. It's good to get healthy! It's good to eat moderate but healthy calories and get some exercise! It's NOT GOOD to hate yourself! This is why destructive fad diets are so popular. People's view of themselves are so awful what's bad health as long as you lose weight and no longer hate yourself?

    Find a calorie reduction plan you can live with. REALLY live with even if it goes slow. You didn't put this weight on in one day and you don't want to hurt yourself trying to take it off in one day.

    Accept you are a worthy person with a weight problem. Think about it. You've never met a person that was in good shape but you'd rather weigh a 1,000 lbs then have their crappy personality?

    It's good you are here for motivation and the means to get to a healthy weight. There are many helpful people that will explain the parts that confuse you and cheer you on!

    You can do this and still feel good about yourself no matter what your weight!
    Good luck!
  • carrierose2
    carrierose2 Posts: 38 Member
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    So glad you decided to join MFP! I have had nothing but amazing support on here. I have had my share of days spent crying after I seen pics of myself too. I have spent hours reading posts and looking up peoples amazing progress pics. I keep telling myself if these people can do it so can I. Just keep telling yourself it is going to take a year or so, this is an ongoing process that will hopefully change your life. I've wanted to quit several times now but keep telling myself I won't be any closer if I do. Good luck to you! Will send you a FR!
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
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    I started at 343 pounds (at 5'3"), so I KNOW how it feels to be disgusted with yourself. I was, for the longest time. But you know what? Whoever said that you have to learn to love yourself, they are SPOT ON. Once I realized that I WAS good enough, that I was worth the journey.... the weight came melting off, and melting and melting.

    You ARE good enough. You ARE worth this journey. And you will make it, if you believe that you can. :flowerforyou:

    Don't you feel one bit ashamed or scared. You've taken the first step, the hardest step of all - realizing that you need help. So now you can proceed to the next step, putting a plan in action. That's the fun part - you get to decide. You get to choose who and what you want to be.

    You are beautiful, no matter how much of you there is. Always remember that.

    Friend request sent.
  • Kenazwa
    Kenazwa Posts: 278 Member
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    I remind you as I am reminding myself. Trying to turn bad habits around is often like trying to turn a battleship around. Those clumsy things won't turn on a dime; we have to have patience. Keep your new direction in sight; you'll turn it around.
  • perseverance14
    perseverance14 Posts: 1,364 Member
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    You are a beautiful woman and you can lose the weight. The most important thing is to start, just get started logging your food and doing what you can do to exercise, even just walking is a start. The more you do, the more the momentum builds, then the more you can do.
  • WeightLossWarrior6
    WeightLossWarrior6 Posts: 14 Member
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    First of all, you are stunning. Our body does not define our worth. Something I recently read really inspired me and it said something along the lines of, our bodies were made to experience life not to be admired or judged. It's so important to be able to love and embrace ourselves at ANY size. Being healthy and happy is important so you're taking a great step by embarking on this journey to become a healthier and happier you, but we all need to learn to be at peace with ourselves during the entire process or else it's really hard to accomplish our goals in my opinion. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people, this place is the perfect spot for that! I just joined the beginning of the week and already have had so much support from amazing people in the same journey as me! Enjoy the journey and the hard work that comes with it. Every day is an accomplishment and by posting this, you have taken a huge leap already! Feel free to add me for support and if you ever need to talk. I have 80 lbs to lose so we are in this together :)
  • SpamLamb
    SpamLamb Posts: 36 Member
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    I'm feeling you. I've never posted pictures of myself on here (well, there's one on my profile but you can't see much of me in it) because of how I feel about the way I look. I've always been heavy so I really have nothing else to compare it to. It's just always been there and heaven knows, people have never hesitated to tell me all about it.

    You're making progress, though! The journey of a thousand miles and all that. I can tell you from VERY recent experience that if you keep reminding yourself that you're just a fat person (had the mental battle about twelve hours ago) you'll be really likely to go back to your old patterns because you'll fell like you don't deserve anything better. Just keep reminding yourself that you are a worthwhile person and every positive step just reinforces that. Heck, if you have to, wear a crown once in a while! A nice gold medal? Whatever it takes. Every change starts between the ears so focus our attention there and you'll be getting healthy in no time!

    Edited to say that I'll find some pre-MFP pics and post them on my profile soon! Also, feel free to add me! I'll be as encouraging as possible!
  • WeightLossWarrior6
    WeightLossWarrior6 Posts: 14 Member
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    :)
  • Catfriend25
    Catfriend25 Posts: 95
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    Just saw Your pics, You look gorgeous, Okay I understand that You could lose some weight but Your fashion and makeup is beautiful!
  • cmbauer99
    cmbauer99 Posts: 184 Member
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    A lot of great advice on here!!!!

    One day at a time. Start with something small, like saying you wont drink a pop for 12 hours and so on and so on.

    Its a lifestyle change, check out all the success stories on here, they will motivate you

    Think of youself and where you are now and look to the future you get there one day a time and may encounter speed bumps, but its a very long road.

    I admire your courage to step up and make this change!

    SKIDALEEDOO
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    Just saw Your pics, You look gorgeous, Okay I understand that You could lose some weight but Your fashion and makeup is beautiful!

    Totally agree for once...not to mention she's 40+ and looks 28
  • CA_Underdog
    CA_Underdog Posts: 733 Member
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    Congratulations on beginning your journey of self-acceptance and weight loss. :)
  • tierra85
    tierra85 Posts: 300 Member
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    I've been in the same place you are right now! I felt like i was trapped in my own skin and i felt so ashamed of myself. Besides how you may be feeling at this moment, as a stranger looking in, i think you are a gorgeous woman!! I have tried everything from weight watchers to home work out videos; some worked, some didn't. I think posting those pictures was the best thing you could've done! This site and all the friends i have made since being here have helped me the most! You can do this! Look at it like it's just one day at a time, one meal at a time and one pound at a time :) Feel free to add me if you need any support.

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