family teasing your healthy and active lifestyle (rant)

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Replies

  • melissajane83
    melissajane83 Posts: 54 Member
    My ex and I split up about 3 years ago. I kid you not he has harassed me off and on since we split. We have a child together so I can't just block him. Anyways, he use to always say hurtful things to me. He always makes comments about my weight. I was very thin when i met him and gained weight when i got pregnant.

    Once i started telling him what he says doesn't hurt me anymore, the harassment pretty much stopped. He does it because it makes him feel better about himself. He is very insecure about his height.

    I am not going to lie sometimes he can still get under my skin but i don't let him see it.
  • tl_dr
    tl_dr Posts: 96
    I have the same problem. Just today, I met my 5 year old twins and my mom (who watches them) at McDonald's for lunch. I ordered a plain chicken sandwich and a bottle of water. My mom (who is overweight) made fun of me and tried to get me to eat some of her fries. Then, later during the meal she started chuckling. I asked her what was wrong and she said, your arms are getting flabby since you are losing weight. Don't you have any weights at home? I wanted to cry. I have lost - with PCOS - 13 pounds by working out and eating healthy. I am now the weight I was when I got pregnant... and this is how she treats me.

    How mean. :( She sounds jealous.
  • thirteeninches
    thirteeninches Posts: 61 Member
    I will assume you have already told her how you feel in an honest and polite way, and she has disrergarded your feelings. Because if you haven't tried this yet, then all other suggestions on this thread are useless. Ignoring, or being snarky back will either worsen your repressed feelings or hurt your relationship with your sister more.

    Fixing problems like this take time, and you will have to tell her how you feel more than once, that is, if you want to have a decent relationship with your sister. If you don't, and you just want her to shut up, don't hang out with her anymore at all. You can't change other people's behavior, but you can change who you choose to associate with.

    With effort, this is what works: Find a moment when your sister is calm and reflective, in a good mood. Tell her how you feel in the best, kindest way you know how. If she disregards it, or is snarky back, avoid her company. When she asks, tell her why. "Why aren't you coming to the mall with us?" "Because you're always rude about my diet and I'm sick of it." The worst possible punishment we can give another human being is ostracism. People just can't stand it. If she values your company, she'll stop with the snark so she can hang out with you. If you don't have a good relationship already, then you need more help than anyone on a message board can give you.

    The other mistake people tend to make is they stay in situations, or continue to take part in conversations that upset them when they have the option to leave. Your presence is valued by others, whether you believe it or not, and silence speaks volumes. So does changing the subject or leaving the room-not in a huff, but quietly and with dignity.

    Good luck.
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
    My response... in a very matter of fact tone would be.....ehh, my body, my choices....your body, your choices.

    Exactly. And honestly, that's the best way to put it without being as rude and immature as they're being. I'd just shrug it off. Or, better yet, find other people to hang out with.

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