When a Great Body Belongs to Someone Else

When a Great Body Belongs to Someone Else

It's easy to fall into the trap of critically comparing yourself to people who have reached their fitness goals. But depending on your outlook, you can get inspired, not frustrated, by someone else's achievement.
By Diana Rodriguez

Medically reviewed by Christine Wilmsen Craig, MD

Who hasn't stared at someone with the fit, healthy body that we'd all like to have? But if you start critically comparing yourself to that ideal, it can have negative consequences on your weight loss and mental health.

Healthy Inspiration: A Role Model, Not an Ideal

"If you can look at somebody else and not be self-critical — look at their body and their achievements as an inspiration, that can be useful," says Martin Binks, PhD, assistant professor at the Duke University Medical Center in Durham, N.C. "But if it's a self-critical way of looking at people and thinking, 'I'll never look like that,' that's when it becomes more difficult."

In other words, see them as a source of motivation, inspiration, and even advice on living a healthy lifestyle, but not as a physical ideal you have to reach. "You always have to keep in mind that your body is yours, and your shape is determined by your own genetics," says Binks. "Look at the behavior as opposed to the appearance."

Healthy Inspiration: The Right Attitude

"When we compare ourselves to somebody else, we are not honoring who we are. We're not looking at who we are in our life and what we've done," says Anne Wolf, RD, a registered dietitian and researcher at the University of Virginia School of Medicine, who has worked with patients dealing with obesity for more than 20 years. "When there's a comparison, people either think 'I'm better' or 'I'm worse.' But we're not better or worse — we are human beings with different gifts and people with different bodies."

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Wolf says that it's important to recognize that everyone has a completely different body shape, different way of carrying weight, and even a different bone structure that affects the way we look.

Most important, says Wolf, is to focus on what you are doing to improve your body. Losing a percentage of your body weight, exercising regularly, eating plenty of fruits and vegetables and other healthy foods — those are the guides to use to determine if you are giving yourself the healthiest body possible.

Healthy Inspiration: Help Reaching Goals

If you approach weight loss with a healthy mindset, you may find that looking to someone who lives a fit, healthy lifestyle or who managed to lose weight successfully will really help you. John from Fairfax, Va., found a healthy comparison within his own family, specifically his older brother.

"In a sense my weight loss was entirely due to comparing myself to other people," says John, who at age 27 decided to take control of his weight and lost 70 pounds. "I saw myself showing the effects of age faster than the people around me."

"My brother was a good role model for me," notes John. "He lost a significant amount of weight, and it helped because I saw how it improved his quality of life and his overall disposition."

For John, his brother was a motivating factor. "Part of the human condition means you're always comparing yourself to others, appearance and otherwise," says John. You can use the comparison to make yourself feel worse or to inspire yourself to be better.

Last Updated: 04/06/2009