No will power :(

theholeyone
theholeyone Posts: 26 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I fell off the wagon again and gained 15lbs!! I am still -30lbs overall but i feel fatter than i've ever felt before.

My emotions are attached to food and i have an overwhelming desire to eat unhealthy food all the time.

I don't really know what to do anymore. I want to lose weight so much but i just can't seem to hold on to that to get me through.

I'm 1lb away from being 300lbs again. I don't want that to happen. I really need to do it this time.

I don't know why i'm typing this here but hopefully it's a judgement free zone where i can vent my frustrations at myself.

Any tips or advice that can make this a more positive thing for me?
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Replies

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Start at 1 pound a week, so it's much easier and you're less likely to give up.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member

    My emotions are attached to food and i have an overwhelming desire to eat unhealthy food all the time.

    you need to deal with the feelings that you currently just eat.

    Maybe try speaking to someone, so you can learn some coping mechanisms that are better than eating.
  • ltaylor208402
    ltaylor208402 Posts: 49 Member
    I completley understand where you are coming from. it is hard and frustrating but you know you need to do it and the weight needs to come off. i am where you are as well all i can say is don't give up and keep going and keep trying to lose the weight until you hit your goal just dont give up! :)
  • LittleMy2014
    LittleMy2014 Posts: 103 Member
    For each pound weight you lose put some money aside and save up to buy yourself a non-food treat, something that will make you feel good, like a pretty scarf or piece of jewelry.

    You could put aside the money you are not spending on junk food. Clear your home of junk food before you begin and stay strong! Baby steps and you can do it.
  • vlatkodimitrov
    vlatkodimitrov Posts: 3
    I had a great problem with overeating. While I could balance my weight from time time to time, inevitable periods of stress and burden, with school, and now work returned me to my old habits.

    What helped me, was just logging ALL the things that I ate, no exceptions.

    All of them, cup of tea or a burger with large fries, makes no difference, log all of them in the app. Calculate their weight for even better results, compare nutritious tables etc.

    Similar to all addictions, there are 2 ways of breaking them - you either turn cold turkey and stop them altogether or you develop awareness of every intake, and with awareness there comes willpower to break them.

    Obviously, the first is impossible, we need to eat to survive :) , but the second is achievable. Counting calories slowly develops into a ritual before and during each meal. And following small rituals replenishes willpower, giving you the strength to overcome your emotions.

    More reading and advice:
    http://markmanson.net/self-discipline
    http://www.sparringmind.com/productivity-science/

    I wish you the best in your goals!
  • tanjelo210
    tanjelo210 Posts: 8 Member
    I typically stay away from the message boards, but your post spoke to me. Literally. I am in the same boat. I have been under a lot of stress and pressure lately and my eating and drinking is out of control. I don't keep junk food in the house... and I picked up a bag of popcorn last night ON MY WAY HOME FROM THE GYM while in the store picking up non food items. Ate the whole thing, close to 700 calories. Ate no real food for dinner. Amazingly my physical activity and diet for the rest of the day allowed me to be under my calorie goal. That was still unacceptable though.

    So this morning I started over. Again. It is a daily struggle. I have taken off an maintained a 50 pound weight loss for about 13 years now. It WAS closer to 60 lbs but I have gained about 10 lbs in the past year and have been struggling to take it off. Lose 4, gain 2. Lose 5, gain 3. Back and forth.

    If you can, pick up the book Women, Food and God. I bought it used off of Amazon last year and it is AMAZING. Well worth the read. And if you can, find a friend to be accountable with. If you'd like, we can be friends on this board.

    Remember that you are NOT the only person in this book. Emotional eating is a popular thing for men and women. It can be overcome. We can do it!
  • gaelicstorm26
    gaelicstorm26 Posts: 589 Member

    My emotions are attached to food and i have an overwhelming desire to eat unhealthy food all the time.

    you need to deal with the feelings that you currently just eat.

    Maybe try speaking to someone, so you can learn some coping mechanisms that are better than eating.

    Absolutely. First, you need to change your relationship with food. Focusing on developing alternate behaviors (which can happen through therapy) can really help. For me, it was realizing that food wasn't really making me happy at all. I might feel good while I was eating it, but the negatives greatly outweighed the "high". Second, I recommend getting involved in something non-food related that you enjoy: photography, art, reading, exercising, etc. The more you learn to love other things, the more you can use those to help you cope with negative emotions that are causing you to eat right now.

    Hang in there. I know from experience that this is so tough. I've just now (at 31) feel that I'm at a point where I am ready and committed to this journey. When I have cravings I stop and think if I'm really hungry, or if I'm just bored. Most of the times it is just boredom so I get up and start moving around. It only takes a few minutes for those nasty cravings to stop.
  • Kyorei
    Kyorei Posts: 7 Member
    You might find a different approach is helpful. I'm currently working through the free edX Course which is about immunity to change, they have a book specifically about weight loss. I'm finding the course very thought provoking.

    http://mindsatwork.com/books-publications/right-weight-right-mind/

    Hope this helps
  • jperkins6
    jperkins6 Posts: 3
    I hear you. Have you tried working out first thing in the morning. I started that a couple of weeks ago. I was told that you are burning strictly fat because you haven't eaten any calories to work off yet. Don't give up though. Every calorie lost is a step in the right direction. It will be gone it just takes dedication. You didn't gain it all in one day so it's going to be a while before you are where you want to be.
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    When you want it bad enough...when you love yourself enough to want the very best for yourself...you will find the way.

    IMO...it is not enough to know that you should lose weight...exercise...eat healthier...

    You have to want it for yourself...believe that you deserve...better.

    That has been what has made the difference for me this time...I finally realized that I was "worthy".

    Does that mean that it isn't a struggle some days...no...but because I believe that I am worthy of this effort that I put out...it is easier to get past the tough times.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    I had the exact same thing happen to me over the winter. Last year I lost 25 pounds and I gained back 17 over a five month period. I have a list of reasons why I am doing this written on a index card that I read every morning. It really helps on those days when I really don't feel like logging food or going to the gym.

    Don't be so hard on yourself for gaining some of the weight back. Use it as a learning tool to figure out what to do if it happens again so you are prepared for it.
  • tcbs99
    tcbs99 Posts: 23 Member
    These have been some of the best responses I have read on here. I have lost and regained my weight so many times. I have learned with every successful weight loss, if you don't continue what got you there, it will return. To me, maintenance is just as much work as losing the weight. Continue to stay encouraged and move forward. Find ways to encourage yourself. Every day you stay on track is a time to celebrate. Do a happy dance, which will burn calories. Don't allow a setback to set you up to stop doing what’s best for you. Like the one person said we know all the right things to do and why we need to do it. I enjoy food, and yes food is tied to so many things in our lives. We just have to get to the place where nothing taste as good and losing weight feels. Really it all takes place in our head and our heart. If you begin to confess and believe you can do it, you can.
  • pinkshiningstar
    pinkshiningstar Posts: 141 Member
    I've been in a very similar boat, so I feel ya!

    My best piece of advice, that I've really taken to heart this time around... ENJOY your journey. Don't limit yourself or say "NO" right away to "bad" foods. I found that in the past I was so quick to pass on everything I viewed as being "bad", and that wasn't me being very realistic.

    You CAN have pizza, you CAN have a bowl of ice cream, you CAN meet up with friends for a drink/dinner/etc. Just track it and move on. Don't let it sabotage your day/week/mission. I've been really guilty of this. But now I have a salad with my one slice of pizza, I weigh out my ice cream (and buy the light stuff!!!), and I meet up with friends but make wiser choices for myself and what I'm trying to do.

    You're worth it. Your happiness is worth it. And you CAN do it. We all stumble, fall a bit, but it's how you handle that fall that matters. Get back up, and keep on goin'! :smile:
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
    I'm in the same boat.

    Basically, you've got a food addiction. You eat for pleasure without regard to caloric intake. I've been the same way most of my life.

    I wish there was an easy answer, but there isn't. The reality is once you get fat and try to lose the fat your body cuts back the metabolism and amps up hunger feelings making willpower very hard, which is the point - it is trying to restore fat levels to their previous levels. The metabolic loss is seen on people who have maintained weight loss for years, so it may actually be permanent. It's why most people who try to diet fail - they can't sustain the discomfort long term.

    Keep trying until science provides us with an effective, safe appetite suppressant.
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
    My weight loss never stuck until I went to counseling and got help understanding my emotions and the things that were driving me to eat. You need to fix the underlying issue before the weight loss will ever become permanent.
  • 0somuchbetter0
    0somuchbetter0 Posts: 1,335 Member
    My weight loss never stuck until I went to counseling and got help understanding my emotions and the things that were driving me to eat. You need to fix the underlying issue before the weight loss will ever become permanent.

    ^^^ I second that! Find therapist who specializes in eating disorders!
  • Colli78
    Colli78 Posts: 135
    Whenever I feel my will power going, I come to MFP and read the boards. I look at the before and after pictures of the people that have lost weight. I read the posts and comments and sip on hot green tea. Something about occupying myself by reading every one else's success stories helps get me through that urge to binge.
  • BioMechHeretic
    BioMechHeretic Posts: 128 Member
    You have to want it bad enough, nobody can really say something that is going to make that change for you. You have to just want it and go for it. Are you currently just tracking intake or are you working out? Working out is the best therapy you can get, AND when you've kicked your own *kitten* in the gym for 2 hours it makes it real easy to make better food decisions that day. Fitness and nutrition should go hand in hand, you'll feel better all the time and it will become self motivating and sustaining.
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
    You have to want it bad enough, nobody can really say something that is going to make that change for you. You have to just want it and go for it. Are you currently just tracking intake or are you working out? Working out is the best therapy you can get, AND when you've kicked your own *kitten* in the gym for 2 hours it makes it real easy to make better food decisions that day. Fitness and nutrition should go hand in hand, you'll feel better all the time and it will become self motivating and sustaining.

    I hesitate to say that someone who truly eats their emotions doesn't want it bad enough. I did. I wanted it so bad. I was so tired of being so fat. I would've given anything to lose weight. But I didn't know HOW until I got help. My mind was fighting me every step of the way. And it wasn't just stress, I would eat any strong emotion. Bad day? Eat. Good day? Eat. Really happy? Eat.

    When I was finally given the tools to sort through my emotions, understand what was going on, and then found MFP to give me the weight loss side of it, I had success.
  • chasingdreams18
    chasingdreams18 Posts: 110 Member
    For each pound weight you lose put some money aside and save up to buy yourself a non-food treat, something that will make you feel good, like a pretty scarf or piece of jewelry.

    You could put aside the money you are not spending on junk food. Clear your home of junk food before you begin and stay strong! Baby steps and you can do it.

    This! Baby steps :) Just think 1 pounds at a time :)
  • chasingdreams18
    chasingdreams18 Posts: 110 Member
    My weight loss never stuck until I went to counseling and got help understanding my emotions and the things that were driving me to eat. You need to fix the underlying issue before the weight loss will ever become permanent.

    ^^^^^ Agree!
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    As other posters have said, you need to deal with what's causing you to eat. Until you either do that it's not going to stop.
  • Bernadette60614
    Bernadette60614 Posts: 707 Member
    You have will power...otherwise you would have given up! So, give yourself a lot of credit!

    Food is yummy, it is all around us all the time, of course it is going to be tough. You're still on your journey (as I am) so give yourself a hug and take it one step at a time.

    Have you tried tracking when you eat as well as what you eat? I find that my willpower is much stronger if I eat breakfast, mid morning snack, lunch, mid afternoon snack, dinner. I preplan my MFP daily diary, have those foods ready the night before (if not the complete meal/snack then the ingredients on the counter or on the fridge shelf.)

    A lot of this, I found, is just adjusting my environment...having foods which sate me readily available, putting foods I can't eat in moderation out of sight, etc.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    Stop labeling foods as "unhealthy." It's a meaningless distinction that just adds stress to your life. Hit your calorie and nutrient goals, using any foods you want to eat that fit your goals.
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member

    My emotions are attached to food and i have an overwhelming desire to eat unhealthy food all the time.

    you need to deal with the feelings that you currently just eat.

    Maybe try speaking to someone, so you can learn some coping mechanisms that are better than eating.

    This is good advice. Most people don't realize that this is a huge part of losing the weight and keeping it off. Deal with the mind stuff, too.
  • emartin17
    emartin17 Posts: 123 Member
    Try a smaller goal for now. That helped me realize things can be done. So instead of facing the 30lb mark- try for 15lbs then focus on another 15lbs. Also, don't panic. You always have the choice to keep going, so do it. Another thing that helped me was the "dream board". I went to the dollar store and picked up some poster board, used some sharpies, and old magazine cut outs. I labeled every fitness goal I wanted. Small and large. But make sure when doing this, you create at least 2 emotional/mental goals. Meaning, your mind focus must be just as strong as your physical output. If you do not work on mental as well as physical your goals will be difficult to acheive. Take your time to work on these. Life is about practice, not perfection.
    But everyone is entitled to feel really guilty or off somedays, its up to you how to fuel your fire and find your push. So look at this as a hiccup and push for what you want.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Your will is your desire. It isn't a matter of "will power," but rather a matter of your desire. If you want to JSF, then continue on the "See Food Diet." If you want to shed fat, then eat a diet with a caloric deficit and hit your protein and fat minimums. If you "can't" do that, then it isn't something you really desire, more like a wish.
  • tennisdude2004
    tennisdude2004 Posts: 5,609 Member
    Sometimes it's about the small things you change.

    Cutting back on the junk food will help (as opposed to cutting it out totally).

    Or sometimes it takes cutting it out totally to break the habit of eating the trigger foods.

    Good luck with what ever you choose to do.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    My weight loss never stuck until I went to counseling and got help understanding my emotions and the things that were driving me to eat. You need to fix the underlying issue before the weight loss will ever become permanent.

    ^^^ I second that! Find therapist who specializes in eating disorders!
    \

    +1
  • JustinAnimal
    JustinAnimal Posts: 1,335 Member
    This is such a complex issue and something I'm struggling with, myself.

    Quick advice that helped me: Just because you screw up with your calorie goal one day doesn't mean you have to screw up for the rest of the month. One defeat does not mean total defeat forever. Let your frustration from one defeat fuel your motivation to make the next day a victory.

    This stuff is tough. Life was simpler when we were running to or from wild animals for food or survival. Now, pre-made crap practically throws itself at you and your survival instincts say eat it. We're all in the same boat. Hang in there!

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