Do you have this problem?

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chickadee2010
chickadee2010 Posts: 1,389 Member
in Motivation and Support
A few days ago, I was looking through old jeans and skirts. I've worn anywhere from a size 7 (definately snug) to a size 10-11 (comfortable). I was told that I would never get back into a 7. About a year and a half ago, I was 128 and I still had a little tummy and sides. Then I was told you're too skinny you need to gain weight. So after a stressful half year, I gained weight and was 150. And the same person said you're getting chubby you need to lose weight. It's just frustrating when people say things like that! I'm trying hard to make this work, but it's difficult when people 'complain. But thanks for listening to my rant. I was just wondering if other people have this problem.

Replies

  • kao708
    kao708 Posts: 813 Member
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    Is the person telling you to gain or lose weight a doctor? If not, don't listen to them. If they are, I'd find a new doctor because that kind of flip flopping can cause serious issues.

    You have to go with what you feel comfortable at. Unless there is some health reason to be at 130 vs 150 you have to make that decision.

    Good luck to you!
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
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    The only people you should be listening to are yourself and a doctor. Everyone else can stuff it!
  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
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    I agree...do what you feel like, and just as long as you're happy, that's all that person should care about. My mom lives in WI, and I live in FL, and everytime we see each other, she always has to make some comment. Either, you look good, or you're filling out, or whatever. It's frustrating, because why is my weight the first thing she says to me? So...I try to just zone her out, and live my life happily :)
  • natsjh
    natsjh Posts: 14
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    Wow! How close is that person to you? They don't sound like the most supportive person in the world... If I was you I would stop listening to them and be a size where YOU feel comfortable - is it possible they were jealous when you were lighter? hence why they said you needed to put on weight? Some people are funny and just can't say nice things to other people without putting them down, suggesting you are too big / small is probably just part of their insecurities and rather mean!
    Also, how do they know you will never be a size 7 again??? pah you can be if you want to be!! :o)
  • withanurgency
    withanurgency Posts: 36
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    I've learned that people will ALWAYS have something to say. If you lose weight, they think you have an eating disorder. If you gain weight, they think you an eating disorder of another kind or don't get off the couch. The past few times, when I was comfortable with my weight, whenever someone said, "oh, you look like you've put on some weight." I'd say, "yeah, being incredibly happy with life will do that to you." Shuts them right up.

    Who gives a crap what they think, as long as YOU'RE happy with you. No matter what size you are. Most people are criticize are projecting their insecurities on others.
  • Lily_Rose
    Lily_Rose Posts: 38 Member
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    I definately have the same issue. I've learned to ignore the criticism. Try looking at what that person's motivation might be for being so critical. In my case, I notice that as I get thinner people who are now heavier than me are the ones telling me that I am getting too skinny or that I need to stop losing weight. I figure that it is jealously driving them.
    I think you'll find that will be true for you. Someone who truly wants the best for you will try to encourage you - not discourage.
  • sallyLunn
    sallyLunn Posts: 381
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    LOL, what have you been doing talking to my Mother?
  • pftjill
    pftjill Posts: 488
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    Don't ever let someone tell you how you should look. Like everyone said except a doctor. About a year ago I went to a doctor and was telling him how I have halted my weight loss and it was frustrating. He looked at me and said-I don't think you should lose any more weight. I realized from taking exercise psychology that I had a negative addiction to exercise. So really, unless a doctor is telling you this-you do your thing and don't listen to others. I have a friend who has lost a lot of weight and people are telling her she is too skinny. I really think it is mostly her heavier friends who are most likely jealous that she has lost the weight.
  • skygoddess86
    skygoddess86 Posts: 487 Member
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    LOL, what have you been doing talking to my Mother?
    Pretty sure it was my sister ; ):laugh:
  • TateFTW
    TateFTW Posts: 658 Member
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    Unless other people are concerned because you have real issues (eating disorders), you can't listen to other people. They love telling you you don't need to lose weight, and LOVE telling you not to lose any more when your only half way to your goal.

    I don't want to tel anyone not to listen to anyone else, but only because of the eating disorder issue. If that's not the case, then you have to tune them out.
  • chickadee2010
    chickadee2010 Posts: 1,389 Member
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    Thanks, guys! No, I don't have an eating disorder or health problems. I know I can get back down to 130 and still be very healthy. What I need then is to get the extra tummy off, but hoping that'll work this time. The person who said that is family, surprisingly. But my friends have told me that before too.
  • wey1983
    wey1983 Posts: 109
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    Wow, this sounds like my life! I totally hear ya on this one. I am 5 ft 3 and 148 pounds and I have NO IDEA if I am skinny, chubby, fat, etc because of everyone's comments! I have my parents on one side reminding me that in a month I will have to 'fit into' a bathing suit...FIT IN?! Are you serious????? Then I have my boyfriend telling me I look great, but really, like he would ever tell me I needed to lose a few pounds. And then I have my doctor calling me a 'skinny mini.' What the heck! I don't know what I see when I look in the mirror because its clouded by everyone's ideas. So my advice to you is to go with and be how you want to be...focus on what makes you happy. You are all that matter!!

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