do you find anyone jealous of your success?
april979
Posts: 39
Just wondering if anyone out there has had the problem of your mate, friend or family jealous of your success? Im not near my goal yet but I find my boyfriend is upset that im having success. I hoped that he would be happy for me. He makes comments that he thinks I will probably start showing off and find a new man when I reach my goal. I have assured him that I love him and im doing this to feel better about myself not to attract a man! Help!
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Replies
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Hmm he's feeling insecure, reassure him as best you can, and then if he continues, tell him to nut up or shut up, he needs to be supportive or you won't give him unlimited access to your getting sexier everyday body
Bottom line, if he is someone that cares for you, your happiness should make him happy. Just make sure he knows you are happy with him, after that call him out and ask him what the deal is and why is he not being supportive. 0 -
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its bound to happen with someone, he'll see in the long run that your doing this for yourself
the most you can do is reassure him and hope perhaps seeing you getting in shape will inspire him (or whoever else feels jealous) to do the same0 -
Some people that I know are jealous. The started just as motivated as I did, but lost their motivation somewhere along the way. Reading my happiness about fitness/results upsets them and one of them is making comments lately. How I deal with this? Laughing, loosing weight and becoming stronger makes me happy, I sure don't care about what two people think, maybe especially because I know they also want to loose weight.0
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Unfortunately that is a huge downside of getting healthier. I have a walking pal who continually tells me I am too thin. At least she does admit it is because she is jealous. Another friend tells me he's going to take me to a fast-food restaurant and force feed me burgers. Hubby tells me that I will never loss my baby pouch.
Be strong, don't allow the nay-sayers to bring you down. You are better than that! You can and will do this, you have to dig deep and self-motivate. You CAN DO IT!!!0 -
A little different but I have many friends (more like acquaintances but whatever) that in one breath will mock me for my healthy eating habits and picking salads over burgers but in the next breath will complain and say they wish they could look like me and that i'm so 'lucky' to have my figure... even though i work my butt off everyday.
However my boyfriend says similar things sometimes, i don't think he's jealous i think they're just a little threatened. Once you reach your goal or get closer to it and you are still with him i'm sure he'll be incredibly happy for you! he should understand in time:)0 -
You are beautiful, so I agree, he's probably really insecure. There's nothing you can do about that. He has to fix that on his own. Unfortunately, he probably won't and you'll have to decide how much you can take.
I did have one friend who was jealous of my success, but she came to me and told me. We talked about it and now we just support each other. She is now also seeing tremendous success. I'm so VERY proud of her.
The thing that gets me is the people who say "Don't get too thin, now!" or 'You're withering away"! I'm 5'4" and 200 pounds. I don't think I'm in any danger of either of those things 0 -
In my case it's not jealosy, I'm not sure exactly what that is, but my sister had always been "the thin one", and now, when we're the same pant size she doesn't flat out says so, but she's not very happy about it, and clothes sharing for example would never happen.
Sometimes people just can't be happy for you.0 -
Not from a family member or friend, but yes, I have an acquaintance who is extremely jealous of my weight loss and my progress. She is obsessed with how much weight I have lost. She has griped for years about her own weight, but isn't ready to go beyond complaining. So she makes snide comments to others about how I look like I am sick, things like that. I just laugh it off, recognize it for the sour grapes that it is, and keep working hard to reach my goal.0
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I think it must be a lot more difficult to deal with that when it is your significant other. I haven't experienced that. My ex husband and I had wildly different energy levels and interests due to my healthier habits but I was just about as obese as he was, so that wasn't exactly the problem. Now I'm remarried, to someone who is a better match in all ways!
But I do have a few people in my life who seem to be jealous. Mostly friends who have struggled with their weight for years. For example, friends who have been trying Shakeology, Jenny Craig, WW, Body by Vi, weight loss pills, getting a personal trainer, etc. A lot of those friends of mine are still morbidly obese after years and $$$ seemingly wasted and there seems to be a general resentment going on for my sudden "lark" of losing weight by calorie counting and how well it's worked. But the very idea of trying calorie counting is annoying, too tedious, or simply "will not work" according to them...0 -
I have a work colleague who is always making 'fake' nice comments to me about my weight-loss achievements, and then follows it up with something like 'you make me sick', or 'I can't bear to look at you'. She's always moaning about how she's put weight on and her clothes don't fit her right, but then in the next breath is saying how she downed a bottle of wine after work, or scoffed a whole plate of cookies. She even once insinuated that's I've not even had to work that hard to lose the 71lbs I've shifted - erm... reality check... it's taken a ton of exercise, dedication and will-power to get where I have, over MONTHS. Actually annoys me a bit when people belittle your achievements like it's nothing.0
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I surround myself with extremely successful people, and that seems to limit the amount of jealousy and nonsense I deal with. In my life, I am pleased to say that my interactions with people on a daily basis are overwhelmingly positive. I don't know if I'm just lucky or if I'm doing something right...but it seems to be good either way.
Whenever I notice a little negativity or jealousy, I try to talk less and listen more. Asking the jealous person about their life is very disarming, and can help them ease up.0 -
I have gotten a lot of grief from family/friends/loved ones.
Mainly my wife.....
I have gotten to the point where I just ignore.....and do my thing.0 -
I have gotten a lot of grief from family/friends/loved ones.
Mainly my wife.....
I have gotten to the point where I just ignore.....and do my thing.
really? your wife?0 -
Its always funny...
Cause when you lose a few pounds they are all excited for you, and what you have done.
But then when you drop a lot, and start getting in really good shape (i.e. look good naked)....
Then they start throwing back handed remarks/insults at you.0 -
Its always funny...
Cause when you lose a few pounds they are all excited for you, and what you have done.
But then when you drop a lot, and start getting in really good shape (i.e. look good naked)....
Then they start throwing back handed remarks/insults at you.
I guess you just have to date / marry teh hotness. Then they can hang0 -
I have gotten a lot of grief from family/friends/loved ones.
Mainly my wife.....
I have gotten to the point where I just ignore.....and do my thing.
really? your wife?
Yeah, I have gotten...
Put your shirt back on, no wants to see that
Your waist is to small.
No husbands waist should be smaller than his wifes...
It's no fun eating with you....so and so's boyfriend is a lot more fun to eat with....
and other things have been said....0 -
Its always funny...
Cause when you lose a few pounds they are all excited for you, and what you have done.
But then when you drop a lot, and start getting in really good shape (i.e. look good naked)....
Then they start throwing back handed remarks/insults at you.
Shake things up a bit... Do stuff around the house (chores) naked... And yes this is for anyone in this thread0 -
No husbands waist should be smaller than his wifes...
ooooooooooh....i see whats going on here0 -
sounds more like insecurity than jealousy.0
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Its always funny...
Cause when you lose a few pounds they are all excited for you, and what you have done.
But then when you drop a lot, and start getting in really good shape (i.e. look good naked)....
Then they start throwing back handed remarks/insults at you.
Shake things up a bit... Do stuff around the house (chores) naked... And yes this is for anyone in this thread
LOL
I do plenty of chores around the house...
Shirtless, not naked though.0 -
Wow I posted this topic before work this morning because I was kinda bummed out about it...I come check in on my first morning break and awesome feedback. Thanks soooo much. I do think hes being insecure for sure.0
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I have gotten a lot of grief from family/friends/loved ones.
Mainly my wife.....
I have gotten to the point where I just ignore.....and do my thing.
really? your wife?
Yeah, I have gotten...
Put your shirt back on, no wants to see that
Your waist is to small.
No husbands waist should be smaller than his wifes...
It's no fun eating with you....so and so's boyfriend is a lot more fun to eat with....
and other things have been said....
Sounds like your wife has issues about the fact you are in better shape than she is! If only my husband would do chores
shirtless. I'd be in heaven!
Sounds like OP's partner is also insecure about weight loss. It's normal to have feelings when your partner makes changes, and I guess it can take a while to get used to them, but they either get over it or they don't.
I always think those really negative comments like - "you're getting hot to leave me for someone else" tend to come true because they end up driving you away with their constant stream of exhausting negativity. So if you love him, I hope that he snaps the hell out of it!
I rarely get direct comments about my weight, but I do get hit with a lot of snide remarks made to the room, you know the ones - "I LOVE my curves, so does my husband, what is it they say? Only dogs go for bones!". Cue loaded glances in my direction. I've heard it all about sticks being horrible to snuggle, "real" women having curves etc. I just hear a "whoosh" now as they go right over my head.0 -
Its always funny...
Cause when you lose a few pounds they are all excited for you, and what you have done.
But then when you drop a lot, and start getting in really good shape (i.e. look good naked)....
Then they start throwing back handed remarks/insults at you.
Shake things up a bit... Do stuff around the house (chores) naked... And yes this is for anyone in this thread
LOL
I do plenty of chores around the house...
Shirtless, not naked though.
She's obviously jealous of your success and worried about attention you'll get from others. Just reassure her that you love her. I'd rather have a husband like you versus one that just sits around and gets more and more out of shape! Keep it up, sir!! :drinker:0 -
I have gotten a lot of grief from family/friends/loved ones.
Mainly my wife.....
I have gotten to the point where I just ignore.....and do my thing.
really? your wife?
Yeah, I have gotten...
Put your shirt back on, no wants to see that
Your waist is to small.
No husbands waist should be smaller than his wifes...
It's no fun eating with you....so and so's boyfriend is a lot more fun to eat with....
and other things have been said....
I always think those really negative comments like - "you're getting hot to leave me for someone else" tend to come true because they end up driving you away with their constant stream of exhausting negativity. So if you love him, I hope that he snaps the hell out of it!
Agree.0 -
Sounds like insecurity. I've had friends get jealous and that's ok. I've worked hard for my progress and don't have an entire book of excuses.
My husband, on the other hand, is very supportive. I was much larger than him when I met him and got bigger and bigger. It took a lot but I'm smaller than him now and he appreciates the figure. I guess after 19 years...he knows it's just for him so he doesn't get jealous or insecure.0 -
I had dealt with the jealousy aspect... They feel like you are leaving them behind... That you are doing it for reasons other than wanting to feel better and be better...They feel your working out to look for a new mate...
I will say I tried to include them, wanting them to join me in getting healthier... But they wanted nothing to do with it because it was too hard... I will say that over time, you can only reassure them so much... They will either believe you or they wont... If they choose not to believe you (ie... TRUST you)... It will certainly be the demise of the relationship as one day you will just have had enough of proving yourself over and over (Been there, done that, got the T shirt...
Good luck to all...0 -
My husband has been nothing but supportive, however my sister and her family make constant fun of me for logging my food. They think it is awful that I spend time on myself and I am neglecting my kids when I go to the gym. My theory is, I have to do what is best for me. Me, dying of a stroke or heart attack because of my weight is HELPING my kids. Sorry, he is having issues with your weight loss, I hope he snaps out of it!!0
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I have a nasty female coworker who makes comments about my eating, food habits, and logging. She has also been nasty and condescending about other aspects of my life, so it's just her being a nasty person in general. She's junk-food thin. As in, she will brag about skipping breakfast and lunch, whine about being hungry at 2 pm, and eat a bag of chips.0
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Wife seems to be somewhat jealous, just makes me feel better, not really sure why people being jealous of your weight loss would make you angry.0
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