Starting yet again on my weight loss journey...wish luck

theguy12
theguy12 Posts: 156
in Health and Weight Loss
So for the like 15th time in the past four years I am starting my weight loss journey AGAIN.

It used to work great - I would lose lots of weight, feel great, and then two or three times eating out would cause me to completely give up and gain all the weight back plus some. Wish I could remember what I was doing right when Iost so much. I was 265 two years and feeling skinny. I am 310 now - that is one hundred pounds more than I was in high school in 1999. SAD!

The past two or three times though that I have attempted this I have eaten calorie deficits, exercised, and done everything they tell you to and never lost a pound. That got me unmotivated like never before and I just decided screw it and be happy with who I am and what I weigh. I talked to my mother about losing weight and how sad I was about how I looked and she just told me to be happy in your own skin - it's your life to live not the others who are looking at you. Cheered me up till I realized that doesn't work when your getting diabetes, dying early, can't play with your future kids, can't do yard work without resting, look disgusting for your partner, etc.

I was battling with it all in my head UNTIL LAST WEEK. I went to try on my tux for the wedding on August 8th - it doesn't fit anymore! I had someone take a photo - I just look like a giant blob in a suit. I also took a photo next to my fiancé who is about 6-7 inches shorter and weights about 135. It doesn't even look like we should be allowed to know each other - we are so different sized. It looks like I should be eating her - not marrying her. It made me feel horrible. I won't let anyone take photos of me anymore - it is so depressing to look at photos or look in mirror. I have stopped getting ready in front of a mirror in morning - too sad. I just brush my teeth in the kitchen - no mirrors.

So here I go again - I have three months to lose 35 pounds and get to 275 again for the wedding. Then there more months to get to 250 hopefully by the honeymoon so I can actually take my shirt off in public in Mexico, to zip line over the jungle, to climb rope ladders into underground pools, to climb to top of mayan ruins, etc -- and not be too embarrassed to enjoy the vacation I paid so much for.
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Replies

  • Roxie_64
    Roxie_64 Posts: 13 Member
    Hi,

    I'm just starting back as well. I don't know how to help you with your issues but if you would like to add me as a friend we can try to go through it and support each other.
  • Tiki1978
    Tiki1978 Posts: 364
    35 pounds is totally reasonable! You can do it :)
  • susanwair
    susanwair Posts: 78 Member
    OMG...I am SO there with you....not getting married in 3 mos...but hate to see myself in the mirror or in pics-I feel like I am trapped in someone else's body.

    I had to come to terms with the fact that I am a binge eater.

    I am gonna try WW (I'm a lifetime member)-using their 2 week simple start plan....it about eating what they refer to as "power foods"..

    I get up every morning saying today it will be different...but It is a constant battle. I have not weighed this much in years. UGGHH

    Feel free to add me as a friend and we can try to keep each other on track.
  • gostumpy
    gostumpy Posts: 156 Member
    Sent you a friend request... I am in the same boat, I've gained 35lbs in 2 years, in 2006 I was 145lbs and fit, at my worst two weeks ago I hit 210.

    I'm on my 4th or 5th attempt at losing weight, so lets motivate each other!!
  • dmenchac
    dmenchac Posts: 447 Member
    If it hasn't worked 15 times, why would doing it for a 16th suddenly work?

    You need to change things up. Try to have a different approach to weight loss this time.


    Message me if you ever need any help or have any questions.
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    It isn't luck. It's about preparation and choosing what path you want in life. Prepare everything at first. Make a choice to plan everything you eat and every workout... and stick with it. If you do suffer the occasional plan lapse.... don't give up, but recommit and work the next thing on your plan.

    and if your plan doesn't work after 3 weeks, figure out a new plan...

    No luck about it. It is based entirely and soley on you and every choice you make.
  • WarriorWomanofGod18
    WarriorWomanofGod18 Posts: 1
    Hi my name is Joanne and I know EXACTLY how you feel! My husband is all ripped and muscular and I'm just feeling And LOOKING like a slob! I have the same feelings as you concerning being uncomfortable and when he ticks me off, I even have considered how I could eat him! LOL J/K.

    BUT.... We are here so let us leave the past exactly where it is and move forward! You have a set goal and so do I. Let us push forward and accomplish these goals! Speak positive, think positive and especially let us eat and live in a positive manner! This fat is not WHO WE ARE AND DEFINITELY CANNOT WIN!! I'm here day One and motivated as are you. No feeling sorry about the past, No woe is me! No talking about what you don't deserve! She loves you now and she will love you fit and healthy! I got your back! Lets get this started!!
  • phelan999
    phelan999 Posts: 37 Member
    You are not "disgusting". Positive self-talk may help. I booked a cruise vacation, so I also have a goal to work towards :) Mine is in about 8 weeks, so I would love to lose 10 pounds in that time. We can do it!
  • KellySue67
    KellySue67 Posts: 1,006 Member
    This is not impossible. You've had success before. Don't let a couple of meals out discourage you. Take it one day at a time. We ALL have bad days. The trick is to get up and start fresh the next day. Log everything. It seems daunting sometimes, but it truly does make a difference. If you can, it might even be helpful to pre-log your food for the day. It does help some people stay on track better. Best of luck to you in this journey.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Part of the issue to address is WHY you overeat in the first place.

    For me, it's stress. When I'm stressed (which is often with the job I have), it's very easy to eat way too much, drink too much, and become depressed. It's s cycle that was very difficult to break.

    Anyway, good luck. And don't lose the weight for the wedding, which is only one day. Do it for your health, which, hopefully, lasts a whole lot longer.
  • nette_65
    nette_65 Posts: 22 Member
    Good Luck - 1 day at a time will see you through and help you achieve your goals
    Dig deep & be strong! You can do it!
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    I am becoming a cliché.. or at least my words seem to be... do NOT think of it as a quick fix "diet"...clear your mind... and think lifestyle change...you wrote yourself it's been a long road to get to where you are today... it will be a long road back... it's great to have short term goals... (35 lbs by August).. BUT think beyond that... the inverse of what got you to where you are today... is LOTS of exercise... LOTS of healthy food... don't think of a lifestyle change as a life of depriving yourself of things you love...because IF you continue in the wrong direction... that is exactly where you are headed... death by hamburger(s)... YOU are embarking on a life with someone.. wouldn't you like that life to be long, healthy and happy? then START now towards a lifestyle that will promote that long healthy happy life... IT IS ALWAYS about choice... I grew up in a household filled with alcohol and substance abuse... does that mean I should be an alcoholic? WE make our future based on the choices we make today... WHAT are your choices going to be?
  • galprincess
    galprincess Posts: 683 Member
    Hello

    Im smaller than you are but equally unhappy in my own skin , that feeling of repulsing your partner is 1 that spurs me on and I will get there, you will look amazing on your wedding day and my advice is to do whatever you can to maintain your goal so if eating out is an issue avoid it until you can manage, start today and each day don't diet get healthy and feel better so when you say your vows you know youre working towards spending the maximum time with your new wife make that your goal feel free to add me and I will try my best to keep you motivated
  • theguy12
    theguy12 Posts: 156
    What do I struggle with - hmmmm. I struggle with everything.

    I tell myself to workout for 2-3 minutes in AM to get metabolism going - I get out of it somehow (the news, the weather, snooze button).

    Then I tell myself all day to workout when I get off work and what happens - I skip it. I tell myself I will do it tomorrow - I wills start next week, this is a bad week to start because.... So I think to myself - hey how about just go for a easy walk around the block" - nope - better things to do like watch tv, work, hang with dogs or my lady. Sounds silly but that is how my mind works.

    Eating - forget about it. I eat healthy for a week (maybe two). Then it's off to the races with eating out 1-2 times a day every single day. I drive by a place and say NOPE - then turn around and get some. I leave my credit cards at home so I won't go out to eat - I just go home and get them after convincing myself this once. You say why do you binge eat - I don't know - because it tastes more delicious than anything I make at home and is way easier than cooking. Is it stress - no.

    I suck at this - bad. I read the other day that SUGAR is as addicting as HEROIN and that people think they just have low willpower but its an addiction and that is why it's so hard to stop eating badly - not just willpower. I think that may be the issue.

    I don't have much of a plan yet for this journey. I planned on working out but have convinced myself otherwise. My fiancé and I are going on a soup and salad diet for three months (big variety of soups, salads, veggies, lean meats, dressings). We've cleared everything else out of house and allowed one cheat day a week (without going overboard) so we don't feel deprived.

    Right now my day consists of breakfast shake, yogurt snack, soup lunch, fruit pm snack, dinner is soup or salad.

    Workouts - have not planned what to do because I can't get myself to do anything.
  • Ibelievenme2
    Ibelievenme2 Posts: 96 Member
    Today is our day. Today I am kicking it into high gear. I have figured out I have to do double the exercise others do. I told my MFP friends I will not deprieved myself, because I will want what I can't have. One MFP friend says Mind over Matter. I am taking my walking from 3 miles to 5 miles a day. I will alos do a lot of aerobic videos. I have time on my hands now so for the next 21 days I am going to be doing exercise, exercise, and more exercise. After the 21 days I will always do 90 minutes of exercise a day. I hate my profile picture, but I leave it up so I will get mad enough to change my lifestyle. Hang in there and just remember to keep moving and find out what calorie count works for your body. Good luck. :happy:
  • theguy12
    theguy12 Posts: 156
    Yeah - who knows what to do about calorie counts.

    All the calculators say I should be eating 2300 to lose weight. I have never lost weight eating that much.

    I changed it down to 1980 - still no weight loss.

    When I was losing a lot of weight and so successful way back when I was eating 1500 calories + as much fruit and veggies as I want. Was always full and never craved.
  • terbusha
    terbusha Posts: 1,483 Member
    Hi, Thank you for posting your struggles. It is inspirational to me to see people step back into the game after several attempts. It can be done, you just have to give it enough time. Do you know how many calories/day you are eating? How long have you been tracking your food? It sounds to me that you may have a repressed metabolism. Check out this video from Layne Norton. He has a PhD in protein metabolism, is a natural body builder, and is a fitness competitor coach.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5C3uqA1yRI

    If you have any questions, please let me know.

    Allan
  • Vigilance88
    Vigilance88 Posts: 95 Member
    When I was losing a lot of weight and so successful way back when I was eating 1500 calories + as much fruit and veggies as I want. Was always full and never craved.

    That's not how counting works though. 1 banana is already over 100 cals, apple 75. Lot of vegetables are 20-100cals too. So you were probably closer to eating 1800. you need to log everything so you can find out how much you need to eat.

    Like others have said, this is a lifestyle change, don't look for a quick fix. Are you gonna eat soup meals for the rest of your life? Are you gonna stop eating any sugar forever? (sugar is not the enemy btw).
    This is the perfect time to start figuring out your food portions. Treating it as a lifestyle change makes you learn portion control and mental control. If you stick to this soup diet and lose 30 pounds: great! But you still don't know how to eat other food in proportion.

    Diet is the most important part of weight loss. Once you get the hang of that and you start losing pounds the exercise will come easier for you. The diet working for you will motivate you. You don't need to do exercise for 3 minutes to "get your metabolism going". It is going even while you sleep.

    I'd suggest just using the average of what all the calculators are telling you (so 2000-2300). Stick to it for a month at least.
    Don't exclude anything you love to eat, eat in moderation. Vegetables fill you up like you said, so try adding them to meals. If you crave a cookie at 9pm, eat it, as long as it fits in your daily calorie goal. It doesn't matter how many meals you eat or what time you eat. I eat chocolate in bed every day :bigsmile:

    If you are mentally able to restrict yourself to a strict soup and salad diet for weeks, you are able to mentally restrict yourself to eat anything you want in moderation for the rest of your life.
  • gostumpy
    gostumpy Posts: 156 Member
    I took a quick look at your diary, and without weeks of putting EVERYTHING you eat or drink in there, you're still in the dark as to what eating within caloric goals feels like...

    I had a few bad days lately, mostly with beer.. and McDonalds... I should eat ~1580 cals per day, and Sunday I hit 3600. I have a bad habit of drinking too many beers, then making bad decisions when I do.

    I know exactly how you feel with eating out, I can tell myself I won't, then pass an A&W... get hungry, and the next one I see I'm in the drive-through. Completely sabotaging myself.

    I still put it in my diary, though. If I have a horrible day, I SEE the affects of it with my caloric goals, and I SEE what it does to my weight loss goals, and it is motivation to not let it happen again... it will happen again, but hopefully with a lot more time between!
  • theguy12
    theguy12 Posts: 156
    Well since I just started yesterday of course there won't be much diary info. I just started this whole thing Monday.

    I know you need to log fruits and veggies but I am just saying when I lost 40 pounds last time it was on Weight Watchers where I was eating 1500-1600 calories and you did not log any fruits and veggies. Not saying it's right - just saying that is when I was most successful.

    I have logged foods about 15 different times on this site for years and years now - sometimes for weeks and sometimes for months. So I do actually know what it's like to eat and stay at my suggested daily calories. However I don't lose weight when doing that. I put in my fast food too until finally it was 3-4 weeks of eating thousands and thousands of calories over my goals and just not giving a F. The results we're not affecting me or making me want to stop.

    If you don't think sugar is bad watch this documentary FED UP
    http://youtu.be/aCUbvOwwfWM

    Yes I need to learn to eat right but I don't have time to do trial and error to figure things out right now - I have to lose 35 pounds now. Not later. I know more about eating, nutrition, weight loss, etc than most nutritionists and personal trainers I have met with - I study this day and night - problem is I don't follow through with what I know!!!
  • Vigilance88
    Vigilance88 Posts: 95 Member
    Should have known better when I read you consider sugar as addicting as heroin.

    Don't know what to tell you if you know everything. Just man up and do it, I guess?
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    I changed it down to 1980 - still no weight loss.
    I was eating 1500 calories + as much fruit and veggies as I want.

    Just because you don't count them doesn't mean they don't count.

    With a 1500 calorie base, even a few pieces of fruit per day can easily drive you to 1980, or more.

    Looking at your posts on this thread so far, I think you have a very underdeveloped idea of exactly what you eat, and how many calories go into it. I mean the above example has you saying you didn't lose at 1980, while extolling the virtues of another program where you're losing on about the same amount of calories, if not more.
  • theguy12
    theguy12 Posts: 156
    If your going to be negative please just keep it to yourself. Thanks. Only positive posts here - don't want to bring this whole thing crashing down with negativity before it even begins. This post went from being nice and keep it up to debby downers bringing me down - boo to you!

    Duh - I know veggies and fruit count and you should log them - wasn't saying they don't. Was just telling you when I lost the most weight is all - jeez. Nit pick much?

    I weigh and measure all foods that are not packaged already. I count everything I eat - don't skip anything. I know how to do this - support is what I need - not negative feedback.

    Vigilance88 - did you check out that documentary or looked at research. If you don't think sugar is addictive then you probably don't believe global warming exists either or think the big bang never happened.
  • theguy12
    theguy12 Posts: 156
    And yes I do know a little about nutrition and exercise - I graduated with a Bachelors of Nutrition Science from Kaplan University in 2004. I was hoping to find work as a nutritionist in the local hospital but it never came to be. Ended up working for a family friend instead in an unrelated field. I also was the wrestling coach and handled all strength and cardio programs at Rocky Mtn High School from 2000-2002. I played football and wrestled - both with insane daily workout programs. I wrestled after high school on the national level for several years as both a cadet and junior in freestyle and Greco. I also coaches those teams and several camps after I graduated. I was an athlete in every sense of the word and was great at managing weight - losing it on command and gaining it even when needed.

    Unfortunately I have left all that knowledge and training in the dust (10 years ago now) and forgotten how to stay motivated enough to keep healthy. Wish I was still an athlete or even a coach - it's a lot easier when you have practice every day.

    Sad to even really admit those things and then complain about my weight and eating - shouldn't need to ask for support.
  • gostumpy
    gostumpy Posts: 156 Member
    The first little while is definitely the hardest for me, changing my portions to allow them to fit within my daily caloric intake was and still is a big challenge for me.

    I personally weigh myself daily, not worrying if I gain a pound or two because I know it goes away the next day or two... but I use every pound lost as inspiration to do one more... the thrill of each pound lost is a great motivator for me.. I make a game of it :)
  • Vigilance88
    Vigilance88 Posts: 95 Member
    My first post wasn't negative at all, I tried to give some advice from my experience.

    All I said was that during weight watchers you were probably eating over 1800 cals including vegetables and fruit.
    I was trying to tell you that you could eat 2000 and lose weight, since you did it before -on weight watchers.-

    You posted afterwards that you know everything about nutrition and you know what to do. And you added some sugar bull**** which tends to get on my nerves.

    That indicates to me you don't care about advice or help, you just want a pat on the back.
    Theres an entire subforum for that, I don't even read such topics usually. So, sorry for wasting each others time I guess? :drinker:

    You don't need support, you need to find a plan that works for you longterm. (hint: it's not a soup diet)


    ps: I'm not gonna discuss the documentary with you, it will derail the thread. Theres another thread where you will see plenty of debate on it if you're open to it. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1287201-katie-couric-s-perils-of-food-polics
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    Read these:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    My first post wasn't negative at all, I tried to give some advice from my experience.

    All I said was that during weight watchers you were probably eating over 1800 cals including vegetables and fruit.
    I was trying to tell you that you could eat 2000 and lose weight, since you did it before -on weight watchers.-

    You posted afterwards that you know everything about nutrition and you know what to do. And you added some sugar bull**** which tends to get on my nerves.

    That indicates to me you don't care about advice or help, you just want a pat on the back.
    Theres an entire subforum for that, I don't even read such topics usually. So, sorry for wasting each others time I guess? :drinker:

    You don't need support, you need to find a plan that works for you longterm. (hint: it's not a soup diet)


    ps: I'm not gonna discuss the documentary with you, it will derail the thread. Theres another thread where you will see plenty of debate on it if you're open to it. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1287201-katie-couric-s-perils-of-food-polics

    What they said ^^
    from your posts I get the impression that you are just going to do what you want regardless of the information that anyone gives you. You've tried it your way 14 other times...what leads you to believe that doing it your way again will result in a different experience this time?

    You have enough to lose that your goal is totally doable and more so why don't you let us help you instead of telling us how much you know?
  • theguy12
    theguy12 Posts: 156
    What I asked for was a pat on the back (wish me luck). Never asked for advice (on this post at least - ha ha).

    Thanks to the supporters and people in similar positions - let's do this thing together!!!!!!


    I actually have taken everyone's advice on the thread so far - lets see:

    1.) Don't do the same thing you've done 15 times already. Not going to - trying a new diet, new workout routine, new strategy.

    2.) It's not about luck it's about prep. I agree - I have prepared well for the journey ahead. Planned everything including prepping all my food, veggies, salads, etc for the week so I can't complain it's slow to make it at home. Planned a workout routine but not sure how good I will be at sticking with it.

    3.) Been practicing positive self talk about home and work.

    4.) Log everything. Doing it - bought a scale actually and weight or measure everything I eat.

    5.) Try pre-logging. Doing that too - planning out entire day ahead of time. Adding any snacks or extras that night.

    6.) Just remember to keep moving. On it - been walking around office, taking walks on breaks, etc.

    7.) Use average of the calculators. Did that - went ahead and switched to the average instead of what was suggested.

    8.) Read the linked articles. Already have - a few times on past attempts. Looked over them again today.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    If your going to be negative please just keep it to yourself. Thanks. Only positive posts here - don't want to bring this whole thing crashing down with negativity before it even begins. This post went from being nice and keep it up to debby downers bringing me down - boo to you!

    What negativity? Not a single person in this thread has approached you with "negativity" or tried to "bring you down". Pointing out some obvious flaws in your approach isn't negativity, it's help. You don't need a ra-ra ticker tape parade, you need facts that'll help you avoid chasing your tail round and round bend again.

    Also realizing that nobody can "bring" you down, that's totally your choice no matter what anybody says to you.
    Duh - I know veggies and fruit count and you should log them - wasn't saying they don't. Was just telling you when I lost the most weight is all - jeez. Nit pick much?

    Well no, it's not a nitpick.

    Saying you can't lose on 1980 calories, but then going on to say you did a 1500 calorie diet with unlimited fruits and vegetables proves that, yes, you actually can, and have, lost on 1980 calories and possibly more.

    But you know what, I'm not in the business of helping those who feel they've got it all figured out. I'll just take me and my 130lbs (and counting) success right on to the next thread.

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