Looking for Online Support/Accountability

Hi, All.

So I'm not exactly new to FitnessPal, but I've never really reached out, finished updating my profile, or used the full functionality of my the site to my advantage. I've never really posted here and thought it was as good a time as any. It feels...strange and vulnerable. I feel so exposed doing this because, I don't know about you, but as an obese person, I've sort of been trained to retreat into myself and avoid any possible moments of embarassment or rejection, but I've spent so much time reading through posts and everyone in this space seems so supportive.

I guess the best way to put it is I'm looking to get serious. Not that I wasn't serious about it in the past, but, well...let me explain.

I started at 290 and currently weigh in the low 280s, with an ultimate goal weight of getting down to 120 (a girl can dream, right?) or losing 170 lbs. I started therapy last July and have been really proud of the emotional progress I've made, but extremely disappointed with the weight loss progress. I'm a binge eater and an emotional eater and those have been my biggest hurdles to overcome. By being in therapy and working through so many of my personal issues, it's affected my weight loss progress in that I'd uncover some emotional trauma and turn to food. As a result, my weight continues to yo-yo in the 280s. The lowest I've gotten in a long time is 278, but then I went back up. I've hit this number several time and each time I gain weight. It's my arch nemesis now.

But now, with a large portion of that emotional baggage unpacked and armed with an artillery of tools, I'm ready to really focus on the weight loss. I'm a few pounds shy of staring that 278 wall in the face and this time I want to conquer it and never look back, but I know I'll need help to do it.

I guess a lot of my motivation right now comes from a few places:
1. I'm going baby crazy and know I need to lose a lot of poundage in order to have a healthy pregnancy.

2. One of my best friends is in chemo right now (at 26) and it's put a lot of things into perspective.

3. I'm graduating with my MA in Education in a few weeks, which means I'll be working with kids as a role model. Also, I work with middle/high schoolers....try discussing A Midsummer's Night Dream with that age group when there's a character named Hippolyta and not get a few snickers or looks.

4. My therapist is a couple months pregnant and will be on maternity leave come the end of the year. I'd like to save some money by getting the OK to end therapy by that time, but in order to do that, I have to show her that I've gained substantial control over my binge/emotional eating and have developed a system that is manageable for me in the long term.

I find I work best when I have someone to hold me accountable, which is why I'm reachign out. I've tried using my boyfriend as support, but it's just an unreliable/unstable source. We both have a weight problem and counting on him when he's not ready to lose the weight means risking sabotage. I need to have alternative support in order to succeed.

And this may seem like sort of silly question, but being new to the whole online support thing...what does it actually entail? Do I make my food diary public? Am I supposed to add people or join groups....suggestions/help needed.