Starting over... AGAIN!!!

Why is it that when my brain is ready for my body to get moving and lose weight, my body isn't ready... or my body is ready to go, but my brain can't make my body get off the couch? When will they ever be in sync?? When will they finally agree with each other and work together to make it happen?

Let's face it - the whole weight loss thing is nothing but a mind game. You have to talk yourself into going to the gym or walking the neighborhood. You have to talk yourself into driving by the Dairy Queen instead of pulling into the drive-thru. You have to talk yourself into eating more veggies and less crap. For some people it's really easy. For me... it's been a 25 year long journey to get from "holy crap, I'm 185 lbs!!" to "holy crap, I'm 312 lbs!"... 25 years of knowing exactly what I have to do to change it, but for whatever reason, I just can't seem to make it happen.

What is it going to take? A heart attack? A car accident where they have to use the "jaws of life" to wedge my fat @ss out of the car instead of just opening the car door to get me out? Or will it be some completely embarrassing, demoralizing moment where I sit down in a chair and it falls apart right under me, right there in front of a group of coworkers or during a job interview? I don't know what it will take. My father had his first heart attack at 42 years old. I'm now 46. "Dodged that bullet!", my brain said to my body. My father later died of complications from diabetes, heart failure, and a laundry list of other symptoms at the ripe old age of 61. "Well, we have plenty of time before we have to worry about that!", my brain says to my body, as my body absorbs the sausage biscuit and Pepsi I had for breakfast on the way into work. Seriously??!!!

So... I'm coming back here... again... because I have to do something. Anything. And I need all of the support I can get. The awesome thing about this website is that you guys are all on here for the exact. same. reason. I want to be "friends" with every single one of you, unless you're one of those people who only have 5 lbs to lose. Frankly, I just want to poke your eyes out with a shrimp fork. Then again, it's all the same struggle, isn't it? So whether it's 5 lbs or 500 lbs, it's still important to us and we still have to support each other through the journey. So... I take back the shrimp fork comment, although I reserve the right to still say it in my head while being your biggest cheerleader on the outside. Because I know that you will congratulate me pound for pound, and you'll keep your "dang, what a heffer" thoughts in your head while being my biggest cheerleader on the outside. Thank you for that.

Ok - enough ranting. Enough of the pity party. Big girl panties pulled up, and all of those other ridiculous cliche's that get us through the day.

I'm going to go log in my sausage biscuit and Pepsi now. The good news is that I didn't eat the full serving of fries that came with that awesome combo... so, I'll get to document that I only had 3/4 of a serving!! Yay for me!!

Baby steps, right?