Dealing w/ Unsupportive People

I find I am having a hard time dealing with unsupportive people (mainly my bf) throughout this journey. For those of you who aren't lucky enough to have a supportive family or significant other how do you deal with the constant remarks without letting yourself get discouraged?

it took me a long time...I just ask myself, do I want to be healthy or a people pleaser.

You know, he's a boyfriend.....you don't have to keep him.

Do it for yourself. You deserve it.

Yikes, my bf is the MEANEST (about my body) In front of his fam he'll say- uhm looks like you got hit my TWO hail storms! LOL, MEAN! So I know the feeling.... He will say "uhm ya you need to hit the treadmill". Mean remarks really lower your self esteem and make you more upset when you work hard and dont see results!

Keep your head high- I think this is a great place to find your support, everyone wants to lose wieght. 5-200 lbs, thats awesome- its good so support one another... especially when a negative-nancy boyfriend isnt going to

You know, he's a boyfriend.....you don't have to keep him.

Do it for yourself. You deserve it.

haha...couldn't have said it any better

It really sucks when you have negative people around you but we all know that they will always be there. Try to rise above it and like others have mentioned remember that you are doing this for yourself and that it doesn't matter what others think/say. Good luck!

I have found that the people making the negative comments are usually the ones that are unhappy with themselves, their health/weight, etc. If you can identify that, it makes the comments hurt less.

Hopefully when you start making progress, people will recognize you're serious. You can always tell them: "I am serious about getting healthy. This is important to my happiness. What that means is if you are my friend (or family), I need you to be supportive. If you can't be supportive, please abstain from making negative comments. This is truly important to me."

And as far as the boyfriend, say the same thing. If he cares, he'll support you. If he doesn't, kick him to the curb, girl! You need a strong support structure somewhere and he should be the primary source, especially if he lives with you.

Remain positive and positivity will follow you. I know it's hard; my entire workplace is terrible. You CAN do it! This is important FOR YOU.

My boyfriend thinks that I'm doing this so I can dump him after I lose all the weight - he says that is what women do! (we have lived together for 9 years). I told him that the only reason women do that is because their boyfriends treat them like dirt and they get the confidence of feeling better and healthier and sick of putting up with the crap. I think it is definitely an insecurity issue on their part. I use to try to lose the weight for all of the wrong reasons and this time there is only one reason - ME!!! - He needs to lose weight as well, but I can't want it for him. Hang in there and use this site for support - it is what gets me through the days I don't think I want to do it anymore!! - I have made wonderful friends here and YOU/WE ARE WORTH THE EFFORT!!! - Best of luck!!

realize you're doing it for you and keep doing it, and if they dont like it thats their problem. in the long run he probably wont be around long (if he cant support you trying to better yourself you dont need him) and if you listen you'll be the one stuck with the weight etc. so make up in your mind that you're gonna do this thing and let nothing stop you.

Yikes, my bf is the MEANEST (about my body) In front of his fam he'll say- uhm looks like you got hit my TWO hail storms! LOL, MEAN! So I know the feeling.... He will say "uhm ya you need to hit the treadmill". Mean remarks really lower your self esteem and make you more upset when you work hard and dont see results!

Keep your head high- I think this is a great place to find your support, everyone wants to lose wieght. 5-200 lbs, thats awesome- its good so support one another... especially when a negative-nancy boyfriend isnt going to

Ok just a question, but why would you let him talk to you like that especially in front of others? Do you make fun of his love making skills in front of others? or his man part size?

Really life is too short to hang out with mean people and a man that loves you deeply loves you if you're overweight or perfect. Life is hard enough without that bs. If my man told me something like that I'd cry then I'd figure out an exit strategy. That's just mean.

I'm married to one of those guys. I started working out, losing weight and getting serious about my fitness. I lost 90 lbs and he said, "you looked better when you had a little more weight on you" and I was by no means underweight at that point.

I would fix a healthy dinner and he would say, "where are the potatoes? where is the gravy?"

SO I got sick of it. I didn't lose weight for him. I didn't get in shape for him. I did it because I want to see my kids graduate from college and I want to play with my grandkids one day. I did it for my own selfish purposes.

So now when he says, "I was a deep fat fried something or another" I tell him, "we aren't killing ourselves in this house anymore, if you want grease and fat, Burger King is 5 minutes away."

Since I've been a little pissy about it, he's lost 30 lbs (without complaining) and he's stopped asking for gravy and potatoes.

The point is, you have to do this for you. You have to believe in what you're doing. This guy is NOT your life and really, his opinion shouldn't bother you that much. If he had any respect for you, he'd be encouraging. If he can't be encouraging about this or ANY of your goals, what does that say about him?

My advice would be to stay strong and committed to your own beliefs in this situation. Explain how uncomfortable you feel in your own skin and that you just want to feel good about yourself. If your boyfriend really cares for you then he should attempt to understand that. I deal with an unsupportive father (also my boss) that tries to force me to eat really unhealthy food. If I refuse he actually gets angry with me. It's hard to go through but he's not the one that has to fit into my clothes everyday.

I know you don't want to hear advice on love etc, I've been with a couple of guys who would not only discourage me when I was trying to do something good for myself, but also told me I was being selfish.

Finally, I realized, I wasn't doing it for them I was doing it for me. I gained so much self esteem I kicked em to the curb and now I'm delighted to have found a boyfriend who is not only incredibly supportive, but will go out of his way to buy me healthy things and eat them with me even though he may not like the taste or the idea. He ate soy noodles for me and, let me tell you, those things smell and taste like *kitten*.

If he isn't supporting you when you need it the most, he isn't a good boyfriend. Do this for yourself, make yourself happy and someone will love and support you for who you are.

Good luck!

Keep the people that care about you! If it's a constant cycle of you pleasing people one sided, then take a good look at that. I'm a big one for that. The worse they are, the more I try. My Mom taught me to do that. Other people's feelings were more important and if I'm being "good" then I'm last. How wrong is that? Now I'm trying to find people that are good for me, and drop the people that are not good for me. Relationships aren't one way things. I've tried to teach my kids what real friends are, and to allow the self centered ones to float off on their own importance.

Having said that! I have a very black and white husband. He just is no shade of gray! If I ask him something he's going to answer it like a robot, without really understanding the parts I didn't need! I say "look at this great body!" and he scans me like a computer and wiggles my bat wing arm! Damn! I've had to train him!! Mostly untrainable, I realize, but he tries! Men...

Yikes, my bf is the MEANEST (about my body) In front of his fam he'll say- uhm looks like you got hit my TWO hail storms! LOL, MEAN! So I know the feeling.... He will say "uhm ya you need to hit the treadmill". Mean remarks really lower your self esteem and make you more upset when you work hard and dont see results!

Keep your head high- I think this is a great place to find your support, everyone wants to lose wieght. 5-200 lbs, thats awesome- its good so support one another... especially when a negative-nancy boyfriend isnt going to

Ok just a question, but why would you let him talk to you like that especially in front of others? Do you make fun of his love making skills in front of others? or his man part size?

Really life is too short to hang out with mean people and a man that loves you deeply loves you if you're overweight or perfect. Life is hard enough without that bs. If my man told me something like that I'd cry then I'd figure out an exit strategy. That's just mean.

AGREED. That is not love or respect. No offense but there are WAYYYYY better guys out there. Don't settle. You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Hang in there and stay confident in yourself. I have a wife who I'm trying to convince that it's important to take care of ourselves, but she's been very resistant for a long time, and I think it's because she 1-was thing and pretty her whole life until the babies came, and 2-she gets frustrated when the results don't come quickly enough.

I'm not going to give love advice, except to say that people show their real personality when threatened by someone else's success. That's when you see the real person. If they are loving and supportive, they will stay that way. If they say they are, then are challenged by your success, the bad comes out.

Keep up the effort!