Social Anxiety at the Gym?!

Options
Consmomluv
Consmomluv Posts: 13
in Fitness and Exercise
Ooofduh. Okay people. Where are my meds?! I work out (lightly) at my work facility; they offer a work-out room. My boyfriend goes to the gym to lift weights… SO I thought I should attend.
From the second I walked into the door… I lost it.
First of all… I have a starring problem. I was checking out every girl or guy… Starring, judging. SO overwhelmed people watching. THEN…. I get on the elliptical…. 10 minutes in, and im Dying… Now I think everyone is watching me… starring at me- judging me. Do I dare get off… ? I mean people do the Elliptical for HOURS! Hahaha…
Now, then the weight machines, I felt like the biggest dumbass trying to work the machine, all the knobs and different weights. What the hell, Im such a freak.
So I wander over to my boyfriend who is no help, and IM so distracted by the STUPID pants he is wearing… I mean Honey EVERYONE can see your bulge… How hilarious- can you tuck that thing away?! I had ADD at the gym. Im bored, nervous, and scared!!! LOL.
I have a 7-day free trial and IM so scared to go back. I start panicking and cannot focus on anything Im supposed to be doing. Im not relaxed what so ever. I have never broken a sweat at the gym. Im bored instantly.
If someone even smiles at me, IM like “Great, Im sure he thinks my hips are huge!” LOL… Its almost comical- how bad my anxiety is!
Anyways… Anyone else? How do I over come this. This isn’t something I can mentally fix myself… trust me. Deep breathes, music, magazine, tv… NOTHING WORKS. I get to the point of wanting to VOM!!! HELP ME 
«1

Replies

  • pammio
    pammio Posts: 6
    Options
    I feel the same way....about the social anxiety part
  • JohnMaile
    JohnMaile Posts: 29
    Options
    Have you ever tried taking a scoop of Jack3d? It will make you feel like an animal... sometimes you might even start thinking that you could easily throw cars around the parking lot!! I'm prone to anxiety, especially in public places!! I just always keep in mind that everyone else is probably worried about what they're looking like, and don't really care what's going on with me. With Jack3d, you'll be so focused and pumped about your workout that you'll forget that there's anyone else in the gym, especially when you start looking for dinosaurs to fight with!!
  • tgrames
    tgrames Posts: 6 Member
    Options
    I have the same problem so I joined Curves. Only women there, don't have to worry about adjusting weights. There are women of all ages and sizes that go. The curves ladies are so nice. I was nervous the first few times but no it is no big deal.
  • elfie9863
    elfie9863 Posts: 337
    Options
    Hey there...I used to be soooo self conscious also. BUT, I have to say, it will go away. And stop and think, do you really think any bad things about the other people there? Probably not, and I guarantee you that no one is really thinking much about you. I started going to the gym all by myself and was scared to death and felt pretty dumb also. After about a week, I really did get over it. Going to the gym is the only way I can really lose any weight and maintain since I am not very disciplined on my own. It seemed that after a month I was so into it and lost so much I really would not NOT go.

    Stick with it, seriously, you will be so glad. We all need to get out of our comfort zone at times and see what it can do for you.
  • melissa1977
    melissa1977 Posts: 129 Member
    Options
    You'd be surprised how much people AREN'T looking at you because they're too concerned that people are looking at them. :) I'm the biggest girl at my gym any time I go. The biggest person, actually. But I keep thinking that I have every right to be there and to workout just like anyone else. The more you go, the more comfortable you get with going. So get back there! You can do it!
  • Meg28
    Meg28 Posts: 59
    Options
    Aw, that's rough. If your work facility works for you and you can get outside there is no reason to actually have to go to a place that makes you so uncomfortable. If you want to keep going, try headphones. Perhaps it will make you focus on something besides everyone else and zone out.

    Gyms can be intimidating, but really no one else cares what you are doing as long as it is safe and you wipe the machine down afterwards. I use the headphones sometimes when I'm lifting free weights - even if I have no music on - just so people know I'm focus and won't interupt me.

    Now I normally would not suggest trainers, but perhaps this is an opportunity to try a training session (many are free for one or two). This might help you get comfortable with a routine that can be a baseline before you bust out and do your thing.

    Good luck!
  • kimjoan
    kimjoan Posts: 192 Member
    Options
    I use to feel that way until I realized that nobody really cares/or is doing that and those that are are not worth me worrying about how they feel.
  • CarolHudson11
    CarolHudson11 Posts: 372
    Options
    I get it, too. I never look anyone in the eye and I keep to myself. I have always been really shy around people I don't know. I usually just walk in there with my headphones already on, get on a treadmill, look at my feet, and start walking or running. If I pay attention to my feet, I don't have to make eye contact with anyone. It does get better - by the time I get ready to go to the weights, I'm so in my "zone" I've forgotten anyone else was there. :)
  • Suedre
    Suedre Posts: 435 Member
    Options
    I know how you feel. I used to feel like that about everything. I couldn't even go to the gas station without tons of anxiety and stress. Honestly, I can't tell you how I fixed it. It wasn't fancy thearpy or a mind. I just realized that I was getting older and my life was passing me by. So I quit caring about other people and realized they really didn't care about me either. And if I did do something dumb and one of them thought it was amusing so freaking what?

    As far as the gym goes, when I'm there I'm working. If I had not had a conversation before class started, I wouldn't be able to tell you who was next me in step class today. I'm focused on *my* workout and I'm not concerned if someone else is a bit off or just getting started. If someone is paying attention to me, I really dont care as long as they dont interrupt what I'm doing, but I've found most people are working as hard as I am and not paying attention. So you'd be safe with me, I probably wouldnt even know you're there! (along with a lot of the other folks in your gym) :)
  • Citrinepoint
    Citrinepoint Posts: 4
    Options
    You are so cute. I'm the same way!! I'm only just now finally getting over it. But it took taking a BOOK explaining how to use the free weights and mapping out the exercises in it. I did this for 3 weeks (and am still doing it) and now I don't feel like such a doofus with the weights. People (mostly guys since I'm doing free weights) have started chatting with me and I even had one guy come up to me and exclaim how awesome the book I was using was and how he had used it when he first started lifting too!
    That really made me feel good. I'm starting to learn that everyone feels this way when the first start out and that once you get used to it and start being regular you get so into your own routine that you no longer look around or care what anyone else is doing.

    I'm like you in that I don't do as well when my husband is around. I get to self conscious or annoyed with what he's doing. LOL
  • amymt10
    amymt10 Posts: 271 Member
    Options
    I use the gym at my work, I feel so much more comfortable going there than a regular gym. Plus my work one is free. I dont like working out with a bunch of guys I dont know, I always wonder where their eyes are. I dont mind working out w/the guys i work with becuase I know them. But actually I'm usually the only one there, its nice to have the whole gym to myself!!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,042 Member
    Options
    It does get easier. Keep going back. We all had to go through being out there.
  • Consmomluv
    Consmomluv Posts: 13
    Options
    Have you ever heard of the psychological description of "Projection"?

    Whatever you are thinking, you assume others are thinking the same thing. "Judge not lest ye be judged" is a frequently heard phrase that is also comes to mind.

    Start thinking about how great it is that so many people at your business are trying to get healthy. In your mind, cheer them on. You'll be surprised what happens.

    Also, everyone starts off being exhausted at the gym. The more you go, the easier it becomes and the longer you can work. You become more physically fit.

    I feel fine @ my work gym... but the public gym... YIKES.... LOL
  • PoshTaush
    PoshTaush Posts: 1,247
    Options
    You sound like me!

    Take a friend>... take a class with old people! You will feel better I swear!

    By the way I wanted to come back and say that you are stunningly gorgeous so you have NOTHING to worry about. I know we are always our own worst critics though! Hang in there girl.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    Options
    Have you ever heard of the psychological description of "Projection"?

    Whatever you are thinking, you assume others are thinking the same thing. "Judge not lest ye be judged" is a frequently heard phrase that is also comes to mind.

    Start thinking about how great it is that so many people at your business are trying to get healthy. In your mind, cheer them on. You'll be surprised what happens.

    Also, everyone starts off being exhausted at the gym. The more you go, the easier it becomes and the longer you can work. You become more physically fit.

    I feel fine @ my work gym... but the public gym... YIKES.... LOL
    Your boyfriend should really help. My GF comes with me, I'd spend a day with her showing her how the machines work. I would be truly appreciative that she is there with me.
    If you want his attention...ask one of the guys there to help you with the machines. If he is anything like me, I'd over there helping you in an instant.
  • hadl0032
    hadl0032 Posts: 117
    Options
    Bump.
  • cmw72
    cmw72 Posts: 390 Member
    Options
    You have to own it. Let 'em stare ... though they could probably care less.

    I'm a 37 year old guy that goes to Zumba class 6 times a week, surrounded by a room full of 20-something girls who are most assuredly less than impressed with either my fancy footwork or my general dorkiness.

    It can be intimidating at times, if I let it get to me. Instead though, I try and use it to my advantage and I go into "hardcore" mode. I invent some sort of imaginary competition in my mind (that I'm sure is very one sided) and I just try and work twice as hard as anybody else.

    They're getting served ... whether they realize it or not!

    My wife probably thinks I'm insane, and tells me I'm just being paranoid. She tells me that hat nobody else cares because everybody is too focused on their own workout.

    She's probably right ... but I keep bringing the thunder, just in case!
  • Consmomluv
    Consmomluv Posts: 13
    Options
    Have you ever heard of the psychological description of "Projection"?

    Whatever you are thinking, you assume others are thinking the same thing. "Judge not lest ye be judged" is a frequently heard phrase that is also comes to mind.

    Start thinking about how great it is that so many people at your business are trying to get healthy. In your mind, cheer them on. You'll be surprised what happens.

    Also, everyone starts off being exhausted at the gym. The more you go, the easier it becomes and the longer you can work. You become more physically fit.

    I feel fine @ my work gym... but the public gym... YIKES.... LOL
    Your boyfriend should really help. My GF comes with me, I'd spend a day with her showing her how the machines work. I would be truly appreciative that she is there with me.
    If you want his attention...ask one of the guys there to help you with the machines. If he is anything like me, I'd over there helping you in an instant.

    HAHAHA LOVE IT, If I wasnt such a social anxious freak, I would go ask one of them... LOL.... Can you imaging my man waddling over with his bulge in his little work out pants LOL... Hilarious.....
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    Options
    At least you are there to work out and make an effort. I get so sick of people getting on the machines and then talking on their cell phones. That is my #1 pet peeve at the gym above all else. #2 is when people clean off the machines by using THEIR OWN SWEATY TOWELS. Gross.
  • cem789
    cem789 Posts: 231 Member
    Options
    I AM THE EXACT SAME AS YOU, I JUST STARE AT PEOPLE HAHA

Categories