Fat people in the gym
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I do not look at you to look down on you or because I think you have nothing to do there.
I look at you in admiration! remember that
I know how hard it is to get started(been there myself), and how easy it is to quit.
But remember this is a lifetime commitment, not a quick fix.
And most of the people at the gym are more than happy to help if you ask.
Now get back in there and kick some butt !
WOW all that anger for trying to be positive here?? really?? are you not here on MFP for some reason or do you just have a fetish for logging your food, but everything is just nice and dandy? If your life situation is so perfect, why are you here? Just to make hateful remarks on the forum?
Where did I write "pat a fat persons back"? YES that is patronizing as hell, and I would have really hated it if someone did that to me. But a little motivation goes a long way
What I'm saying is that I DO know how hard it is to get started, and how easy it is to quit due to sloppy remarks from stupid "perfect" people. And I don't want anyone to quit due to that.
And yes I say fat people, because that's what it is right? FAT... The thing we all want too loose, the reason why we are here??
I can't say large people (I'm large, I'm 195cm, and I do not want to loose that) or big or whatever. Lets just call it what it is, no judgmental undertone in that at all.
I am 40years old now, and I have ranged from fat to obese about 80% of that time(born chubby and stayed that way). Saw a picture of myself in 2003 that opened my eyes (weighing 128kg/282lbs with a BF% of over 30, and now I have fought it back weighing 102kg/224lbs with a BF% of 14).
And in the beginning I had not a clue to how to train or eat right and failed miserably many times
What I'm saying is that if I had been given some motivation and good advise in the start instead of negativity and from many points THAT look from the "perfect" people, it would have been a lot easier and I wouldn't have made so many mistakes leading to injuries and failures.
So I will not defend this post any further, if you want to get motivation or ask me any kinda questions, please feel free to add me as a friend. And if you don't? hmmm well just don't. But don't leave hateful remarks ether way, or brag about good education, salary, grammar or what ever, this is all about support for weight.
And yes Achrya, I would love to give you support and help for your running, if you ASK. But never would I pat you on the head, WTF do you think I am?
I'm calling bull. If you saw me at the gym you'd see a small apparently in shape woman running on the treadmill. Nothing about that would inspire you to encourage me or give me a thumbs up (I probably wouldn't even register on your radar), but, by your own OP, if I was overweight then it'd be a special thing worthy of praise. If I was overweight you think I'd need encouragement and praise beyond that of what some fit chick next to me may need.
Your whole post is about singling out one group because of your perception of them. That'd be like someone going "oh you're in college, good for you!" To only the black kids on campus. Its gross and condescending.
^ That.0 -
oops i forgot to quote the one I was replying to... nevermind smh0
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I'd cry.0
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I am one and I like the support but even better yet I like it when someone who looks fit is next to me and I can follow their pace. It makes me push harder and longer. maybe no words but a simple high five would get the point across.0
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lets just all leave ech other alone in the gym, put your ear buds in, tune each other out, get it done and go home to more important things.
I have enough skinny girl haters and there are enough fat haters out there as well. No matter how nice you try to be your comments could be misconstrued and effectively hurtful.
Leave each other alone.
I'd rather enjoy my gym time and frankly, I don't run into these anti-social attitudes except on MFP. I work in, let others work in, spot others and get spotted, and chat with people. It's part of being human.
I enjoy my gym time too but I'm not a big talker there. I'm not there to socialize and chit chat with people I'm there to get in, get it done and get out. When I'm doing cardio I'm going hard and I can't talk to people. Yes, sometimes I'll chat with someone I know, a brief hi how are you or when I'm done I'll chat a little bit. I actually get annoyed when my husband and I are in the middle of our workout and someone will start chatting him up because now that means I have to wait 5+ minutes before he does his next set and it annoys me.
There are, however, those people that DO go to the gym just to socialize. There is this one woman who my husband and I call "Talkie Talkerson" because that's all she does! If she is on a machine and no one is around she will LOOK around for someone to talk to and either move so she's next to someone or start talking to people who are walking by. I avoid her like the plague.
But back to the original post: Yeah, if I see very over weight people working out and going there daily I do think "Awesome job" but I personally wouldn't walk up to them and offer my congratulations at them for hitting the gym because it is rather awkward and rude and one doesn't know how they will take it.
ETA: I get weirded out when people complement my fitness and my body just because it's weird (and I have a hard time with compliments). This one woman calls my husband and I Mr. and Mrs. Fit and yeah it's nice but it's also kinda weird.0 -
lets just all leave ech other alone in the gym, put your ear buds in, tune each other out, get it done and go home to more important things.
I have enough skinny girl haters and there are enough fat haters out there as well. No matter how nice you try to be your comments could be misconstrued and effectively hurtful.
Leave each other alone.
I'd rather enjoy my gym time and frankly, I don't run into these anti-social attitudes except on MFP. I work in, let others work in, spot others and get spotted, and chat with people. It's part of being human.
YOU ARE MY HERO! Enough of whining on MFP!!!!!!!!0 -
fat people do not need your approval
no, but it never hurts for them to know that not everyone sees a "fat person" when they look at them. some of us just see people. :flowerforyou:
going out of your way to prove to someone you see them as a person despite there fatness is condescending and unnecessary
fat is not a bad word btw0 -
I saw a HUGE lady jogging down the street the other day. I so wanted to go back and give her a HUGE hug b/c I've never had the balls to go out and jog, especially where other people could see me. It was admiration, jealousy, envy and happiness all bundled up in one when I saw her. Just beginning my journey she actually motivated me to start exercising at home, one day I hope to have the courage to do it in public. I was so happy for her. Next time I see her I'm going to tell her. I hope she won't be offended that she inspired me!0
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Well said everyone has to help each other USA is the fattest country in the world. We have to KO obesity. When I started loosing weight strangers would come up to me and tell me how good I was doing. That felt so good it would push me even more.0
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I think if you apply your encouragement evenly it's great. I give all kids on the bike trails a positive comment.
Having a lady come up to me to compliment my weight loss as I was rinsing off on the pool deck post-swim was very awkward (and kind of weird, let's face it), but nice. The girl at the front desk who noticed my weight loss and asked about my routine/asked to work out with me? Awesome. That's a pretty high compliment, I'd say! However, I truly wanted to choke the guy in the hawaiian shirt who felt the need to encourage me as I was biking a few months ago. He was walking as I was on mile 10 and said something, giving me a thumbs up and repeated this when I saw him on mile 14 and mile again when I was on mile18 and it felt condescending as heck. Really guy? I know I'm doing a good job. I was in the top 25% on the bike during last weekend's triathlon and I made it up the hill where many other people who are far more fit than me hopped off and walked. The cheers as I kept pedaling helped my determination to keep riding but I didn't feel like those cheers were just because I deserve them for being fat.
In other words, It really depends for me. I never take the "wow, you're a great swimmer!" as condescending or judgy because I AM a pretty good swimmer. But "Attagirl, fatty!" just because I"m fat?
Keep it.
Unless you know someone personally, you don't know what their struggles and limitations are. You also don't know what they're capable of.0 -
I read several pages, but not them all, but I think we're forgetting something obvious that is going to effect how people feel about this topic which is:
Some of us really relate to a fat lady on an elliptical. Some of us were that lady two years ago.
Some of us still are that lady!0 -
I read several pages, but not them all, but I think we're forgetting something obvious that is going to effect how people feel about this topic which is:
Some of us really relate to a fat lady on an elliptical. Some of us were that lady two years ago.
Some of us still are that lady!
But the question is how would YOU feel if you were doing your exercise and someone came up to you and said "Good for YOU for coming to the gym and going at it every day! High Five!" Would you view that as condescending or inspirational?0 -
I often want to cheer larger people jogging or cycling because I'm proud of them making the effort but don't want them to take it as a jibe or sarcastic, so I don't do it because I'd never want them to stop because they though they shouldn't be doing it, or are embarrassed or because of me saying the wrong thing.
In fact I want to hug them and tell them to keep going, it will all be worth it. :flowerforyou:
I've always wanted to do this but I fear that they'll take offense and take it the wrong way..
It's not that they're taking it the wrong way, it's that this mentality is extremely condescending. Not everyone who goes to the gym is there to lose weight, or hear that you and other absolute strangers assume they are unhealthy pariahs who need to be"fixed" to be treated as normal people. Trust me. Fat people are reminded daily that they are not wanted or need to change. Don't assume, don't think you know their reasons for being there. You want to respect them? Leave them alone unless they approach you, just like anyone else minding their own business. Treat people like all other people, with basic decency and respect for boundaries. Don't invade their space if you wouldn't do it to a thin person. Sincerely, from someone who was obese.
There's a balance to be found here. Just treat people as people and if you see someone who may need help, or who looks down, don't be too afraid to walk up and offer it or flash a smile and share a compliment. It costs you nothing, and you just may make a friend. I know so many people on here encourage ignoring everyone around you at the gym, but it's not necessary. Yes, focus on you and your workout, but don't be afraid to be social. It makes working in on a cherished piece of equipment (squat rack) or getting a spot when you need it so much easier.
I agree...I don't need someone applauding me...what I would like though is a helping hand at times. That has nothing to do with being overweight...more to do with inexperience.
A hello...a few brief words or as you say a smile might open the door for the overweight inexperienced gym goer to ask for advice.0 -
I read several pages, but not them all, but I think we're forgetting something obvious that is going to effect how people feel about this topic which is:
Some of us really relate to a fat lady on an elliptical. Some of us were that lady two years ago.
Some of us still are that lady!
But the question is how would YOU feel if you were doing your exercise and someone came up to you and said "Good for YOU for coming to the gym and going at it every day! High Five!" Would you view that as condescending or inspirational?
Did anyone read the original post? BECAUSE NOWHERE in it did OP mention anything about going up and giving someone a freaking pat on the back. It was a thought.0 -
I do not look at you to look down on you or because I think you have nothing to do there.
I look at you in admiration! remember that
I know how hard it is to get started(been there myself), and how easy it is to quit.
But remember this is a lifetime commitment, not a quick fix.
And most of the people at the gym are more than happy to help if you ask.
Now get back in there and kick some butt !
WOW all that anger for trying to be positive here?? really?? are you not here on MFP for some reason or do you just have a fetish for logging your food, but everything is just nice and dandy? If your life situation is so perfect, why are you here? Just to make hateful remarks on the forum?
Where did I write "pat a fat persons back"? YES that is patronizing as hell, and I would have really hated it if someone did that to me. But a little motivation goes a long way
What I'm saying is that I DO know how hard it is to get started, and how easy it is to quit due to sloppy remarks from stupid "perfect" people. And I don't want anyone to quit due to that.
And yes I say fat people, because that's what it is right? FAT... The thing we all want too loose, the reason why we are here??
I can't say large people (I'm large, I'm 195cm, and I do not want to loose that) or big or whatever. Lets just call it what it is, no judgmental undertone in that at all.
I am 40years old now, and I have ranged from fat to obese about 80% of that time(born chubby and stayed that way). Saw a picture of myself in 2003 that opened my eyes (weighing 128kg/282lbs with a BF% of over 30, and now I have fought it back weighing 102kg/224lbs with a BF% of 14).
And in the beginning I had not a clue to how to train or eat right and failed miserably many times
What I'm saying is that if I had been given some motivation and good advise in the start instead of negativity and from many points THAT look from the "perfect" people, it would have been a lot easier and I wouldn't have made so many mistakes leading to injuries and failures.
So I will not defend this post any further, if you want to get motivation or ask me any kinda questions, please feel free to add me as a friend. And if you don't? hmmm well just don't. But don't leave hateful remarks ether way, or brag about good education, salary, grammar or what ever, this is all about support for weight.
And yes Achrya, I would love to give you support and help for your running, if you ASK. But never would I pat you on the head, WTF do you think I am?
I'm calling bull. If you saw me at the gym you'd see a small apparently in shape woman running on the treadmill. Nothing about that would inspire you to encourage me or give me a thumbs up (I probably wouldn't even register on your radar), but, by your own OP, if I was overweight then it'd be a special thing worthy of praise. If I was overweight you think I'd need encouragement and praise beyond that of what some fit chick next to me may need.
Your whole post is about singling out one group because of your perception of them. That'd be like someone going "oh you're in college, good for you!" To only the black kids on campus. Its gross and condescending.
I keep trying and trying to explain this, apparently it's too complicated for some...0 -
This happened to me a few weeks ago at the gym. I was working with my personal trainer, doing crunches and Russian twists with a med ball while sitting on a bosu (two of my favorite exercises, actually), when some guy came up and said: "You're doing great! Keep it up! I've lost 40lbs from working out, so you can do it too!" ... then he put his hand up for a high five (which I grudgingly gave him), and walked away....
My trainer made a comment like: "That was nice" and I just went "uh-huh"...when really, I was feeling so patronized, and it bugged me for the rest of my workout. I think what really bothered me was that, not only did he interrupt my time with my personal trainer (who I pay good money for!), but he singled me out, out of all the people in the gym -- there was literally someone like 5ft from me who was also doing crunches, but he made no comments to them. I pay my trainer to encourage me, I don't need strangers to do it.
Like others have said, there is a difference between complimenting someone just for their presence in the gym, versus complimenting them on their form or something. The other day I had a girl compliment me on my gym bag, and, as silly as it sounds, it felt nice!
I think you'd almost be better off just smiling and saying hi to someone, without having to make a specific comment about their fitness/workout.0 -
I read several pages, but not them all, but I think we're forgetting something obvious that is going to effect how people feel about this topic which is:
Some of us really relate to a fat lady on an elliptical. Some of us were that lady two years ago.
Some of us still are that lady!
But the question is how would YOU feel if you were doing your exercise and someone came up to you and said "Good for YOU for coming to the gym and going at it every day! High Five!" Would you view that as condescending or inspirational?
Did anyone read the original post? BECAUSE NOWHERE in it did OP mention anything about going up and giving someone a freaking pat on the back. It was a thought.
It was a bigoted thought that displays a superiority complex over people of size and is harmful to society. Over half of the American population is overweight or obese. It's not okay to pathologize fat bodies. It's not okay to assume they want to lose weight or that they exercise for that specific goal or to assume they are unhealthy or to ASSUME you know ANYTHING about that absolute stranger. It's a constant reinforcement of the media projected mindset that fat is inherently bad and unacceptable and needs to be"changed, lost, or fixed." It does devalue the person inhabiting the large body when you make assumptions based on appearance and label them with special emphasis in mind because of assumptions.0 -
I do not look at you to look down on you or because I think you have nothing to do there.
I look at you in admiration! remember that
I know how hard it is to get started(been there myself), and how easy it is to quit.
But remember this is a lifetime commitment, not a quick fix.
And most of the people at the gym are more than happy to help if you ask.
Now get back in there and kick some butt !
Get over yourself, you look at them and think how much better you are. Nobody in the gym gives a crap what you think about anything. They don't look at you and think hey, I wanna look like that summer's eve who's constantly checking himself out in the mirrors someday. They don't see you as some beautiful fitness guru with all the answers to their problems; that's just how you see yourself...
Yes! So many wonderful responses in this thread.0 -
I admire everyone that come to the gym
Everyone need to start from somewhere 0 -
I read several pages, but not them all, but I think we're forgetting something obvious that is going to effect how people feel about this topic which is:
Some of us really relate to a fat lady on an elliptical. Some of us were that lady two years ago.
Some of us still are that lady!
But the question is how would YOU feel if you were doing your exercise and someone came up to you and said "Good for YOU for coming to the gym and going at it every day! High Five!" Would you view that as condescending or inspirational?
Did anyone read the original post? BECAUSE NOWHERE in it did OP mention anything about going up and giving someone a freaking pat on the back. It was a thought.
It was a bigoted thought that displays a superiority complex over people of size and is harmful to society. Over half of the American population is overweight or obese. It's not okay to pathologize fat bodies. It's not okay to assume they want to lose weight or that they exercise for that specific goal or to assume they are unhealthy or to ASSUME you know ANYTHING about that absolute stranger. It's a constant reinforcement of the media projected mindset that fat is inherently bad and unacceptable and needs to be"changed, lost, or fixed." It does devalue the person inhabiting the large body when you make assumptions based on appearance and label them with special emphasis in mind because of assumptions.
So i assume you also had the same comments on the blog post that was shared, respected, and admired on MFP not more than two weeks ago regarding the reverence a bystander or fellow runner had for an overweight person running on the track?
It's not a superiority complex - it's a motivating thought for some. It's not harmful to society.0
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