Fat people in the gym

I read several pages, but not them all, but I think we're forgetting something obvious that is going to effect how people feel about this topic which is:

Some of us really relate to a fat lady on an elliptical. Some of us were that lady two years ago.
Some of us still are that lady!

But the question is how would YOU feel if you were doing your exercise and someone came up to you and said "Good for YOU for coming to the gym and going at it every day! High Five!" Would you view that as condescending or inspirational?

Did anyone read the original post? BECAUSE NOWHERE in it did OP mention anything about going up and giving someone a freaking pat on the back. It was a thought.

It was a bigoted thought that displays a superiority complex over people of size and is harmful to society. Over half of the American population is overweight or obese. It's not okay to pathologize fat bodies. It's not okay to assume they want to lose weight or that they exercise for that specific goal or to assume they are unhealthy or to ASSUME you know ANYTHING about that absolute stranger. It's a constant reinforcement of the media projected mindset that fat is inherently bad and unacceptable and needs to be"changed, lost, or fixed." It does devalue the person inhabiting the large body when you make assumptions based on appearance and label them with special emphasis in mind because of assumptions.

So i assume you also had the same comments on the blog post that was shared, respected, and admired on MFP not more than two weeks ago regarding the reverence a bystander or fellow runner had for an overweight person running on the track?

It's not a superiority complex - it's a motivating thought for some. It's not harmful to society.

I read several pages, but not them all, but I think we're forgetting something obvious that is going to effect how people feel about this topic which is:

Some of us really relate to a fat lady on an elliptical. Some of us were that lady two years ago.
Some of us still are that lady!

But the question is how would YOU feel if you were doing your exercise and someone came up to you and said "Good for YOU for coming to the gym and going at it every day! High Five!" Would you view that as condescending or inspirational?

Did anyone read the original post? BECAUSE NOWHERE in it did OP mention anything about going up and giving someone a freaking pat on the back. It was a thought.

It was a bigoted thought that displays a superiority complex over people of size and is harmful to society. Over half of the American population is overweight or obese. It's not okay to pathologize fat bodies. It's not okay to assume they want to lose weight or that they exercise for that specific goal or to assume they are unhealthy or to ASSUME you know ANYTHING about that absolute stranger. It's a constant reinforcement of the media projected mindset that fat is inherently bad and unacceptable and needs to be"changed, lost, or fixed." It does devalue the person inhabiting the large body when you make assumptions based on appearance and label them with special emphasis in mind because of assumptions.

So i assume you also had the same comments on the blog post that was shared, respected, and admired on MFP not more than two weeks ago regarding the reverence a bystander or fellow runner had for an overweight person running on the track?

It's not a superiority complex - it's a motivating thought for some. It's not harmful to society.

The fact that you label it as "motivation" means you clearly have preference to the thin body over the fat ones. Exercise is a personal choice, not a *moral* one. Association of morality with lifestyle choice IS HARMFUL to the people who are judged as "immoral." Ask any one who identifies as anything other than heterosexual. Fat isn't inherently linked to health (aka function) and as adults with agency over their bodies, fat people don't need your condescending reminders that their value is only conditionally being noted by you BECAUSE they are exercising. NEWS FLASH: No one is obligated to live a healthy lifestyle or exercise at all. There are naturally thin people who don't. There are hard working mothers and fathers and citizens and employees who are fat and far from lazy and who are just as deserving of respect and human decency as other humans. Humanity isn't conditional, shouldn't come with strings attached. It is absolutely harmful to society to think of anyone in such terms for approval.

Thank you!!1 Very well said

But if I do fall or something, feel free to laugh. :flowerforyou:

Or if I fart while doing incline crunches. It's happened before...

Try holding them in on an elliptical. It will be the worst day of your life.

I often want to cheer larger people jogging or cycling because I'm proud of them making the effort but don't want them to take it as a jibe or sarcastic, so I don't do it because I'd never want them to stop because they though they shouldn't be doing it, or are embarrassed or because of me saying the wrong thing.

In fact I want to hug them and tell them to keep going, it will all be worth it. :flowerforyou:

I've always wanted to do this but I fear that they'll take offense and take it the wrong way..

It's not that they're taking it the wrong way, it's that this mentality is extremely condescending. Not everyone who goes to the gym is there to lose weight, or hear that you and other absolute strangers assume they are unhealthy pariahs who need to be"fixed" to be treated as normal people. Trust me. Fat people are reminded daily that they are not wanted or need to change. Don't assume, don't think you know their reasons for being there. You want to respect them? Leave them alone unless they approach you, just like anyone else minding their own business. Treat people like all other people, with basic decency and respect for boundaries. Don't invade their space if you wouldn't do it to a thin person. Sincerely, from someone who was obese.

Encourage them, tell them they are making improvements. Teach them to help them

You don't understand. No, no, and no. I've known super obese Polynesians who were heavy lifters, brothers, ran a moving business. Healthy blood, normal BP, good endurance. At the gym and at work were treated with respect. Take them anywhere casual and absolute strangers express their "concern" and give UNWARRANTED, UNPROVOKED advice on their "health." No. You don't know anything about a fat stranger at the gym. Doc gave my buddies seal of approval, told them it's all Gucci unless they start to feel adverse effects. They don't need your condescending reminders that they are"too" fat, unwanted, and must be exercising for weight loss, amirite? Because God forbid a fatty like riding a bike! Are you even aware that weekly exercise has health benefits even for those who don't exercise enough to lose weight? And not all fat people eat burgers and fries and cake. You can get fat by eating too many calories of any food. Reject the stigma. Learn some respect.

fat people do not need your approval

no, but it never hurts for them to know that not everyone sees a "fat person" when they look at them. some of us just see people. :flowerforyou:

going out of your way to prove to someone you see them as a person despite there fatness is condescending and unnecessary

I read several pages, but not them all, but I think we're forgetting something obvious that is going to effect how people feel about this topic which is:

Some of us really relate to a fat lady on an elliptical. Some of us were that lady two years ago.
Some of us still are that lady!

But the question is how would YOU feel if you were doing your exercise and someone came up to you and said "Good for YOU for coming to the gym and going at it every day! High Five!" Would you view that as condescending or inspirational?

Did anyone read the original post? BECAUSE NOWHERE in it did OP mention anything about going up and giving someone a freaking pat on the back. It was a thought.

It was a bigoted thought that displays a superiority complex over people of size and is harmful to society. Over half of the American population is overweight or obese. It's not okay to pathologize fat bodies. It's not okay to assume they want to lose weight or that they exercise for that specific goal or to assume they are unhealthy or to ASSUME you know ANYTHING about that absolute stranger. It's a constant reinforcement of the media projected mindset that fat is inherently bad and unacceptable and needs to be"changed, lost, or fixed." It does devalue the person inhabiting the large body when you make assumptions based on appearance and label them with special emphasis in mind because of assumptions.

I read several pages, but not them all, but I think we're forgetting something obvious that is going to effect how people feel about this topic which is:

Some of us really relate to a fat lady on an elliptical. Some of us were that lady two years ago.
Some of us still are that lady!

But the question is how would YOU feel if you were doing your exercise and someone came up to you and said "Good for YOU for coming to the gym and going at it every day! High Five!" Would you view that as condescending or inspirational?

Did anyone read the original post? BECAUSE NOWHERE in it did OP mention anything about going up and giving someone a freaking pat on the back. It was a thought.

It was a bigoted thought that displays a superiority complex over people of size and is harmful to society. Over half of the American population is overweight or obese. It's not okay to pathologize fat bodies. It's not okay to assume they want to lose weight or that they exercise for that specific goal or to assume they are unhealthy or to ASSUME you know ANYTHING about that absolute stranger. It's a constant reinforcement of the media projected mindset that fat is inherently bad and unacceptable and needs to be"changed, lost, or fixed." It does devalue the person inhabiting the large body when you make assumptions based on appearance and label them with special emphasis in mind because of assumptions.

the Original post may of been a bit condescending but really - this is a site where overweight people regularly express that they dont want to go to a gym because they are worried about being judged/mocked/whatever - when in reality most gym goers are happy to keep themselves to themselves and are not spending a significant amount of time thinking about feloow gym members whether they are fat or thin.

Obesity comes with an increased risk of health risks (which overtaken smoking as the largest health care cost in the US). It is what it is.

I often want to cheer larger people jogging or cycling because I'm proud of them making the effort but don't want them to take it as a jibe or sarcastic, so I don't do it because I'd never want them to stop because they though they shouldn't be doing it, or are embarrassed or because of me saying the wrong thing.

In fact I want to hug them and tell them to keep going, it will all be worth it. :flowerforyou:

I've always wanted to do this but I fear that they'll take offense and take it the wrong way..

It's not that they're taking it the wrong way, it's that this mentality is extremely condescending. Not everyone who goes to the gym is there to lose weight, or hear that you and other absolute strangers assume they are unhealthy pariahs who need to be"fixed" to be treated as normal people. Trust me. Fat people are reminded daily that they are not wanted or need to change. Don't assume, don't think you know their reasons for being there. You want to respect them? Leave them alone unless they approach you, just like anyone else minding their own business. Treat people like all other people, with basic decency and respect for boundaries. Don't invade their space if you wouldn't do it to a thin person. Sincerely, from someone who was obese.

There's a balance to be found here. Just treat people as people and if you see someone who may need help, or who looks down, don't be too afraid to walk up and offer it or flash a smile and share a compliment. It costs you nothing, and you just may make a friend. I know so many people on here encourage ignoring everyone around you at the gym, but it's not necessary. Yes, focus on you and your workout, but don't be afraid to be social. It makes working in on a cherished piece of equipment (squat rack) or getting a spot when you need it so much easier.

Yes. I think there's a big difference between smiling at people at the gym (big AND small) and general friendliness (which I think is awesome) and cheering on fat people because they're Fat People in the Gym.

Keep in mind that some of us were once fat, so for me personally, when I see a fat person in the gym, I think "I was there and ****ing good job keep it up." That's me though. I tend not to mince words, though I also realize I have to choose carefully on occasion because not everyone is like me. I don't know the OP and where he's coming from. I guess I'm saying just don't rush to judgment here. And yes, it works both ways.

Just an example from today: I saw a large woman in the gym today who was obviously uncomfortable working her program and studying her notebook while she did it. It's obvious that she's new. I watched her, hesitated and did nothing. I kicked myself when I walked out and didn't come by and say something but I didn't want to come off as the arrogant prick either. I'm still not sure I did the right thing. Welcoming people to the gym makes it more comfortable, makes it easier for them to overcome the occasional true *kitten* hat (they are out there), and as a result keeps them coming back. When I started out more than a couple of guys did that for me. I'll never forget that.

I am so with you on that! I am 384 and when I go to the gym I am hella intimidated! I would love for someone to come over and say "Hey can I show you how to work that machine better?" I think people get their panties in a bunch because they are too damn sensitive, and I think it must be incredibly hard for a "fit " person to approach a "fat" person just for those reasons. THe fact that you care is HUGE! Often the fat feel forgoten and left out so I say be careful what you say but say it, sometimes people really need encouragement!! And if youre one of the fat crybabies, GET OVER IT! You didnt get fat overnight so it is not a surprise, let people be nice and offer that help and encouragement! stepping off soap box now....

Wow! Good job female for being able to pick up that heavy weight.
Wow! Good job black person for being well educated.
Wow! Good job fat person for working out at the gym.

All three statements fundamentally imply that:

Most females are not strong.
Most black people are not educated.
Most fat people don't work out.

I don't know how to make this any simpler. Done.

or perhaps instead of that- good job for doing a good job for the sake of giving a compliment on a job well done. It makes me sad that our society won't allow anyone else to give a compliment for fear it's coming from a negative place.

there are two sides to it and while yes I have had people walk up and say you're strong for a girl- most of the time it's just "wow you're strong" and if they don't- it is just a bumblefk and they don't know what's the right way to say it. It's a compliment- even if they are stupid about it.

But someone else nailed it- given the number of threads we see here regularly about people who talk about being overly uncomfortable with being in the gym and feeling judged, women talk about being in the weight room all the time feeling judged and uncomfortable.

Isn't it a just the least bit nice for other people to know- almost no one is judging you for being there? They are mentally cheering you on to succeed- much like they cheer on the person training for a marathon- the girl who is in step class trying to get her feet under her- the person trying to get a lift in even though half their body is disabled (two at my gym are like that), the girl getting to the squat rack and trying to get a barbell lift in.

I would say powerlifters get way more sht about lifting/mental judging and out right judging- and negativity than over weight people do in the gym.

I've never had a random person- EVER cheer me on for a lift- they just get annoyed and think I'm showing off or trying to make noise. The only people cheering on other people like that are other lifters.

Meanwhile- my personal theory is to encourage anyone who is there- doing whatever they are doing if the opportunity presents itself. I'm not walking up to random people and telling them good job- only if our paths cross and it's socially relevant.