Oh good, I'm not the only one who needs to vent!

SkFarmMom
SkFarmMom Posts: 46 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I've been trying for YEARS to get in better shape, but my Hubby keeps (unintentionally) undermining my efforts...like the time I got into karate (and REALLY enjoyed it)...but he kept having things he wanted to do on Tuesday evenings at 7 and eventually I just dropped it... :-P ...or I'd try to improve my eating habits (ie, regular meals instead of skipping, increasing veggies/etc) and suddenly he felt we should be having ice cream every evening for a month...or the times I really wanted to get a gym membership, but it was too expensive or inconvenient or not safe enough for me to go alone (bearing in mind that I'm 5'9" 200+Lbs, castrate animals for fun and know how to handle a 30-06, a 12 gauge and a 13" cast iron skillet ;)

So I joined MFP 5 days ago and have been stepping up my activity and drastically overhauling my eating (for the better...I used to skip meals like crazy and now I'm forcing myself to get my recommended intake and I'm already feeling better/more energy. Well after months of telling me I "look just fine" this morning we got in a little scrap...he was throwing a baseball with our son, who missed the catch, caught it in the eye, took off running in tears. Hubby made some comment about it not being a big deal because the ball had a rubber core, not a real hardball...I told him to "kiss my bum" (not a euphemism...I don't swear, but I was REALLY annoyed)...he decided to pick that particular moment to impress upon me that my derriere was so large "it would take all day"...did I mention I castrate animals for fun?? After 4 days of wanting to chew his arms off from hunger (who knew upping your intake could actually make you feel hungrier) I felt like chewing them off and beating him with them.

Anyway...that's my rant for the day! I feel better now. ;) Time to get on with my day, going to take my size 14 backside on a little bike ride.
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Replies

  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Truly bizarre post. On many levels.
  • _Josee_
    _Josee_ Posts: 625 Member
    Here we go AGAIN!
  • jason_adams
    jason_adams Posts: 187 Member
    I'm glad you're tracking things and upping your activity. I know that act of establishing control helps me handle life a lot better.

    Please don't remove any human or animal body parts for funz or lolz.
    Hope your son feels better.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    The passive-aggressive stuff is annoying. Been there, though on different topics. After years (our oldest is about to be 16) I've reached the point where I tell him what I think - more often at least. For us its more about 'do me a favor'. I'll be getting ready for bed, he'll ask me to make him some popcorn. Finally reached the point where I'll tell him no, but he's welcome to make it for himself. Just an example.

    Start small somewhere. If he suggests ice cream - suggest he take the kids and go without you, or if you have a frozen yogurt place nearby suggest that instead. (They are popping up all over the place around me, like Starbucks a couple of decades ago.)
  • TheBrolympus
    TheBrolympus Posts: 586 Member
    I hope you work on a farm and don't just randomly castrate animals you find.

    You control what goes into your mouth not him. IF he wants ice cream, let him go by himself. For someone that can handle guns, animal testes, and an iron skillet, you don't seem to have much will power.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    wow
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    I can totally relate! You are not the only one.

    Friend request on the way.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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  • SkFarmMom
    SkFarmMom Posts: 46 Member
    I hope you work on a farm and don't just randomly castrate animals you find.

    Haha!!! Yes, I live on a farm, and I only castrate animals that need it...(and that belong to me)...I learned some neat skills when I worked at a pig barn for about 4 months, like how to surgically remove testes from within the abdominal cavity if they aren't descended and how to do sutures, but that's a story for another day...don't worry, it was always with proper sedation, sterile technique and only after adequate training. ;) (I always wanted to be a vet so I found the job fascinating.)
    You control what goes into your mouth not him. IF he wants ice cream, let him go by himself. For someone that can handle guns, animal testes, and an iron skillet, you don't seem to have much will power.

    That is absolutely true, but I come from a fairly conservative patriarchal background and grew up with the understanding that wives are to "submit to their husbands"...so it's been an interesting (12 year) journey learning how to balance my personal individuality and desires with my conscience when what I want conflicts with the expressed wishes of my Hubby. (He didn't grow up with any such notions and doesn't expect it of me, so it's entirely an internal conflict.) I could hijack my own thread going down that rabbit trail, but I'll just leave it as, I'm learning to respectfully stand up for myself and my needs when they aren't being met and thankfully he's very receptive when I do. (About a month ago I finally was able to get him to realize why the gym thing was so important to me and instantly was on board, so now I'm just waiting for the fall (when the yard/farm work slows down and the calves and lambs go to market) to get my membership and start. :D

    Oh...and we live in the sticks...so we don't "go" for ice cream...Him wanting it = me dishing up a cereal bowl full for him. (He's spoiled, but he reciprocates...in other ways. ;) I have gotten much better about getting him a treat and grabbing a piece of fruit or a tea for myself, having one spoonful or just skipping it altogether.
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
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  • SkFarmMom
    SkFarmMom Posts: 46 Member
    I'm glad you're tracking things and upping your activity. I know that act of establishing control helps me handle life a lot better.

    Please don't remove any human or animal body parts for funz or lolz.
    Hope your son feels better.

    LOL!! I promise I only remove animal body parts, and only when it's necessary. I love animals, have a strong interest in veterinary medicine and perhaps...a slightly warped sense of humor... ;)

    Yes...our little man is fully recovered. :)
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    All the urban ppl in the house say..

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  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    I'd say something funny, but female castration is not something I want happening to me.
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
    Holy ****


    I need a nap
  • squishycatmew
    squishycatmew Posts: 151 Member
    LOL I love how everyone is flipping out over the castration thing, while I immediately assumed you were a vet/vet tech or worked on a farm. As a city kid who seriously considered veterinary school and spent a lot of time in animal shelters, I know how simple a procedure that really is.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    text_break_up_lead.jpg

    that is how I feel about this post.
  • squiggysmama
    squiggysmama Posts: 76
    there are times when mfp needs a "like" button. :) lol from one farm gal to another -- I can totally relate.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Well that was entertaining! :laugh:
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    You castrate animals..."for fun".

    On a totally unrelated note:


    One-Flew-Over-the-Cuckoos-001.jpg

    ETA: After reading further posts from OP, this makes slightly more sense, now... But still. Poor choice of words, I think! :laugh:
  • SkFarmMom
    SkFarmMom Posts: 46 Member
    LOL I love how everyone is flipping out over the castration thing, while I immediately assumed you were a vet/vet tech or worked on a farm. As a city kid who seriously considered veterinary school and spent a lot of time in animal shelters, I know how simple a procedure that really is.

    I've been literally bursting out laughing at the responses...it really is pretty quick, and we actually ring the calves and lambs so it's only pigs that I do surgically (we take the horses and dogs in).

    I'm starting to wonder if perhaps people don't realize that intact mature males can be extremely dangerous and don't make for good eating, so pretty much every male mammal in the north american food chain is castrated, either within days of birth or before it reaches sexual maturity. (This Rural-Urban Education moment of the day brought to you by: ...)
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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  • Kitship
    Kitship Posts: 579 Member
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  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    some are flipping out about the castration....others....about the.....um....manic nature in which the post smacks us in the face
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Ignoring the castration bit (an yes, I assumed you worked on a farm but dropping that into a post complaining about your husband is a little ...off), let me understand... Your husband passive aggressively discourages weight loss, has little sympathy of his injured child, AND insults you by saying your butt is too big? Does that about sum it up?

    I'd suggest some serious conversations and/or possibly marriage counseling.
  • SkFarmMom
    SkFarmMom Posts: 46 Member
    Ignoring the castration bit (an yes, I assumed you worked on a farm but dropping that into a post complaining about your husband is a little ...off), let me understand... Your husband passive aggressively discourages weight loss, has little sympathy of his injured child, AND insults you by saying your butt is too big? Does that about sum it up?

    I'd suggest some serious conversations and/or possibly marriage counseling.

    Bearing in mind that my post was a rant about frustrations and laced with my personal (admittedly warped) sense of humor, perhaps I should put my Hubby's character and our relational dynamic in perspective, because while the statements
    Your husband passive aggressively discourages weight loss, has little sympathy of his injured child, AND insults you by saying your butt is too big?
    are true, they certainly don't sum it up and it isn't an accurate representation of our relationship...just a blip in my morning and a handful of moments sprinkled through 12+ happy years together. My Hubby is the type of Dad that get's down on the floor and plays with his kids daily. He snuggles them daily. Prays with them daily. Teaches them daily. He can be lacking in sympathy, but he's also extremely caring, tender and protective and if he thinks they're really hurt he goes to them at a run (our son recovered from the ball hit quickly and didn't get so much as a bruise). He has undermined my efforts to lose weight, but as soon as I figured out how to express why it was so important to me, he came around. This is also the man who backed me 100% when I wanted to purchase, renovate, start up and operate my own restaurant. He even came and covered the front while I was busy working in the back...hardly some un-supportive jerk. And yes...he did imply my butt was...enormous...but he was also pretty quick to apologize, and insulting me is not his standard behavior. (Which is probably why I took such strong offence to it...I'm not used to him saying things like that...quite the opposite.) The whole castration thing is a peek into our relationship...we joke around constantly...he lovingly calls me a "battleaxe" and I lovingly call him a "stubborn old mule"...he jokes about selling my horses and I joke about selling his cows...or that I keep him in line with a 13" cast iron skillet...the fact that our relationship has so little real frustration in it (and no abuse) lets us joke in ways that wouldn't be humorous in a less healthy relationship...though I realize how it could be a little confusing or off-putting to someone who doesn't know the bigger picture. One of our friends actually asked if we were serious when we talked about beating each other up...or my "threats" to feed him "crushed glass and castor beans"...a long running inside joke...no...we're not serious. If it were, I wouldn't joke about it.
  • shining_light
    shining_light Posts: 384 Member
    Ignoring the castration bit (an yes, I assumed you worked on a farm but dropping that into a post complaining about your husband is a little ...off), let me understand... Your husband passive aggressively discourages weight loss, has little sympathy of his injured child, AND insults you by saying your butt is too big? Does that about sum it up?

    I'd suggest some serious conversations and/or possibly marriage counseling.

    Bearing in mind that my post was a rant about frustrations and laced with my personal (admittedly warped) sense of humor, perhaps I should put my Hubby's character and our relational dynamic in perspective, because while the statements
    Your husband passive aggressively discourages weight loss, has little sympathy of his injured child, AND insults you by saying your butt is too big?
    are true, they certainly don't sum it up and it isn't an accurate representation of our relationship...just a blip in my morning and a handful of moments sprinkled through 12+ happy years together. My Hubby is the type of Dad that get's down on the floor and plays with his kids daily. He snuggles them daily. Prays with them daily. Teaches them daily. He can be lacking in sympathy, but he's also extremely caring, tender and protective and if he thinks they're really hurt he goes to them at a run (our son recovered from the ball hit quickly and didn't get so much as a bruise). He has undermined my efforts to lose weight, but as soon as I figured out how to express why it was so important to me, he came around. This is also the man who backed me 100% when I wanted to purchase, renovate, start up and operate my own restaurant. He even came and covered the front while I was busy working in the back...hardly some un-supportive jerk. And yes...he did imply my butt was...enormous...but he was also pretty quick to apologize, and insulting me is not his standard behavior. (Which is probably why I took such strong offence to it...I'm not used to him saying things like that...quite the opposite.) The whole castration thing is a peek into our relationship...we joke around constantly...he lovingly calls me a "battleaxe" and I lovingly call him a "stubborn old mule"...he jokes about selling my horses and I joke about selling his cows...or that I keep him in line with a 13" cast iron skillet...the fact that our relationship has so little real frustration in it (and no abuse) lets us joke in ways that wouldn't be humorous in a less healthy relationship...though I realize how it could be a little confusing or off-putting to someone who doesn't know the bigger picture. One of our friends actually asked if we were serious when we talked about beating each other up...or my "threats" to feed him "crushed glass and castor beans"...a long running inside joke...no...we're not serious. If it were, I wouldn't joke about it.

    It disturbs me that I can relate to you on such a level as this. Lol. I was an acreage kid, so I get the castration parts of this. My fiance would never joke about my body like that because he knows I'm too sensitive about it, but threatening him jokingly with a frying pan is something I've done from time to time... as well as some of the other rather disturbing jokes. He makes sexist jokes all the time that I think are funny because it's so out of character from who he truly is. I totally get you.
  • michelle_816
    michelle_816 Posts: 621 Member
    OP, I can totally relate to you! Hubby and I have a very similar, sarcastic relationship and your vent sounds like it could have come from me in our over 12 years of marriage (minus the castration part).

    He grew up a country boy and worked on his brother's farm for years. I grew up in the city but love the country life, and I got a great chuckle from your post as it was so relatable!
  • Myfitfutureself
    Myfitfutureself Posts: 34 Member
    So I've been trying for YEARS to get in better shape, but my Hubby keeps (unintentionally) undermining my efforts...like the time I got into karate (and REALLY enjoyed it)...but he kept having things he wanted to do on Tuesday evenings at 7 and eventually I just dropped it... :-P ...or I'd try to improve my eating habits (ie, regular meals instead of skipping, increasing veggies/etc) and suddenly he felt we should be having ice cream every evening for a month...or the times I really wanted to get a gym membership, but it was too expensive or inconvenient or not safe enough for me to go alone (bearing in mind that I'm 5'9" 200+Lbs, castrate animals for fun and know how to handle a 30-06, a 12 gauge and a 13" cast iron skillet ;)

    So I joined MFP 5 days ago and have been stepping up my activity and drastically overhauling my eating (for the better...I used to skip meals like crazy and now I'm forcing myself to get my recommended intake and I'm already feeling better/more energy. Well after months of telling me I "look just fine" this morning we got in a little scrap...he was throwing a baseball with our son, who missed the catch, caught it in the eye, took off running in tears. Hubby made some comment about it not being a big deal because the ball had a rubber core, not a real hardball...I told him to "kiss my bum" (not a euphemism...I don't swear, but I was REALLY annoyed)...he decided to pick that particular moment to impress upon me that my derriere was so large "it would take all day"...did I mention I castrate animals for fun?? After 4 days of wanting to chew his arms off from hunger (who knew upping your intake could actually make you feel hungrier) I felt like chewing them off and beating him with them.

    Anyway...that's my rant for the day! I feel better now. ;) Time to get on with my day, going to take my size 14 backside on a little bike ride.

    giphy.gif
  • Jlennhikes
    Jlennhikes Posts: 290 Member
    I don't get why people are being testy (unintentional pun) about your post, and I highly recommend paragraphs.

    Seems like you see that getting it together with diet and exercise will be self-motivated and you can choose to ignore your husband's attempts to keep things the same. It's pretty natural for people to resist a change in their normal routine.

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