Help? How to say no and motivate others

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Nessie112
Nessie112 Posts: 39 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hey everyone, I wonder if any of you can offer some helpful advice. I have this huge problem with saying no. Whenever someone asks if I want any form of junk food I say yes even if I don't/ I'm not hungry/ know I will regret it. Part of it comes from a place of "Hm, that will taste good" but I think a bigger part comes from a bit of guilt. I mean most of my family is overweight and they all want to be healthy, but I'm the only one making a strong effort to do so. I guess I feel like if i turn down their junk food they will feel bad for offering it when they know I'm trying to lose weight, feel bad about themselves, and also eat more of that junk themselves. How can I get over my fear of hurting their feelings? And also how can I encourage them to lose weight without being overly pushy? Thanks everyone!

Replies

  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    Well, if you don't think you can be honest, just say something like, "No thanks. I just ate and I'm still stuffed." I've done that a time or two. It seems to work for me.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    "Thanks! I'll come back and get some later"

    You encourage them with your own results, especially if you go about your weight loss in a realistic, sensible , sustainable way where they realize, wow, I can do this too. You won't be able to do this if you let them knowingly or unknowingly sabotage your efforts
  • leantool
    leantool Posts: 365 Member
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    Saying they want to get healthy but not trying to do anything...you can't help them.but you can always lead by example,take a small bite or politely decline. if it is infrequent you can even have them by planning your day arround
  • Artionis
    Artionis Posts: 105 Member
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    Seriously, take a class in assertiveness training. Being assertive is not being rude or unkind. You will learn to say no in a way that is honest, firm, and kind. Guilt comes from doing something wrong or bad. Politely and firmly declining an offer of food is not wrong or bad. "Guilt" is an inappropriate description.

    Once you get your own efforts in weight control firmly established, you can offer to your family members some guidance. They will or will not take advantage of your example. Whatever anyone else says or does, your journey is your own. Stay on your plan for a healthier life.
  • chani8
    chani8 Posts: 946 Member
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    This is like, the problem, with breaking the cycle in a family. The guilt, the co-dependence, the trying-not-to-make-anyone-feel-bad.

    You've just got to be brave and stand up for what's good and right and healthy. Just say no. If they were offering you drugs, would you feel guilty for saying no?

    It took almost two months of my busting my butt to finally get some respect from my family. Eventually, slowly, they joined me. I didn't say a word to force the issue. And now, over a year later, we're all a bunch of health and fitness freaks and loving it!

    But when I lose it, we all collapse, like dominos. For some reason, being supportive to not binge is hard for everyone.

    What I realize most, though, is that one person can lead the way. Maybe that's you, OP.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jukv9Q1eR2g
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    just do you... you cant make your family be healthy, they have to do it themselves.

    Saying 'no thanks' is not being rude, you shouldnt feel guilty.
  • notadaywasted
    notadaywasted Posts: 2
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    It seems that with your view whether they'll feel bad in case you chose to decline to their offer is a negative motivation on both your parts. Try mentioning politely that you already ate or you got it covered (and they don't have to make a fuzz about it).

    If you set your mind that saying "no" is better, the results in your body later on will also ease into the rest of your family that making the right choices does make a better outlook and life out of anyone. Surely, the rest of your family too, will follow.

    Envision yourself that you are saving your life and their as well.

    Try also offering them your own 'better' and 'healthier' food choices. Mainstream it in your 'junkfood' mealtime activities like studying, watching movies, play in the park, watching a game, and reading. I for one skips the popcorn/chips/subs/burger/pizza stalls before heading to the movie house. Instead I head to grocery express lanes to buy fruit slices, fruit juice (my favorite is an ice cold coconut juice over soda), or bag a Ziplock with slices of carrots or any fruit cubes, before heading for the movies. It is actually both satiating and safe.

    The biggest challenge in doing a weightloss routine is not the food nor the exercise installed but rather on our attitude to set a goal and working towards that goal.
  • Nessie112
    Nessie112 Posts: 39 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your advice! My family actually is starting to get on the bandwagon! Both my parents have now signed up for MFP :D My sister has lost 5lbs as well! I am beginning to find it easier to say no. Today they all wanted to get pizza but I stuck to my guns and made veg. tacos at home! :D First time I was actually able to resist the temptation and do something I knew would be good for me. This whole weight loss thing is doing wonders for my confidence. :) Thank you all fellow fitness pals for your support. It's a great feeling.
    Feel free to add me!

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