How did you feel when someone mentioned your weightloss

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Replies

  • slr90
    slr90 Posts: 212 Member
    Uncomfortable and it gets my back up :/
  • tedrickp
    tedrickp Posts: 1,229 Member
    I hated it at first, but realized that was my own issue. I love it and own it now. I'll usually reply with something like "yep, Im increasingly beautiful each day".
  • sattwellrn
    sattwellrn Posts: 12 Member
    I am so used to feeling invisible that I am uncomfortable whenever anyone notices anything new or changed about me. I wonder if the comments come from a sincere place or if it is just conversation. I usually politely say thanks then try to change the topic off of me. Gaining weight for me was done secretly, so losing weight is done quietly also. For some reason, I seem to sabotage myself when everyone gets on the bandwagon and acknowledges my weightloss plans.
  • doctorsookie
    doctorsookie Posts: 1,084 Member
    I have new people at work ask my daily if I've been losing weight and everytime I smile and nod vigorously and tell then how much. If they ask me what I've been doing I simply say I have a great support group at MFP and I starting rating less and moving more. I still live in when people comment because it gives me the drive to keep going. Some people look like they are uncomfortable asking me but at the same time they really want to know so they can get the deets. I think convinced several people to join MFP. At least they joined after my success this last year so I like to think I had a hand in it. If it gets them happy and healthy I don't care why they joined.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I'm only bothered when the person/people tell me I'm an inspiration. How are you inspired by me losing weight? :huh: It's the same feeling I get from people who are inspired by stretch marks aka "tiger stripes" :huh: . Are you also inspired by the scar on my left ankle?

    I changed my life and not for the better, either. I don't eat what I want anymore. I don't do what I want anymore. I'm more depressed than ever. How is that something people want to be inspired by?

    I don't mean to be rude, but why are you doing it if it's not making you happy?

    Also, I think this is why even well-meaning comments about peoples' weight are kinda awkward. My ex husband was morbidly obese but relatively healthy at 300-320 lb and then VERY rapidly (in a couple of months) got down to about 250-260 lb without trying, due to serious thyroid problems, they also suspected he had MS (he did not), and he felt like total crap - very very ill, no energy, etc. During that time, he had people who didn't even know him coming up and saying how he was a huge inspiration and congratulations on finally getting healthy. WTF
  • RedVelvette
    RedVelvette Posts: 213 Member
    I love it.

    Yesterday someone who knows me and my husband saw us both walk into a room. He recognized my husband but was wondering who he was with, because I looked skinny. This persona told me that and I took it as a compliment.

    To put a little bit of context, it was in a dance studio and we are all dancers. We notice bodies. It is our tool for art.

    I've been struggling with my weight my whole adult life. So yeah, someone calling *me* skinny? Hell yes -- I'll take it!

    People are going to notice changes that come with weight loss. Humans are social creatures and we are created to notice facial cues including weight fluctuations. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, as long as they're not jerks about it. I look for intentions behind the comment, and I know that the person telling me that he didn't recognize me at first was doing so from a good place in his heart. If I don't know their intentions, I will assume they mean well, because most people do mean well.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    Ahh, I have always loved it though after I say "thank you"...it can be awkward, especially if they start asking too many questions (which then I get unsolicited advice which I obviously do not need)
  • MizMimi111
    MizMimi111 Posts: 244 Member
    I'm only bothered when the person/people tell me I'm an inspiration. How are you inspired by me losing weight? :huh: It's the same feeling I get from people who are inspired by stretch marks aka "tiger stripes" :huh: . Are you also inspired by the scar on my left ankle?

    I changed my life and not for the better, either. I don't eat what I want anymore. I don't do what I want anymore. I'm more depressed than ever. How is that something people want to be inspired by?

    This makes me sad for you.
  • hkristine1
    hkristine1 Posts: 950 Member
    It doesn't bother me at all... just say "thank you - I've been working hard at it and I feel really good."
  • MissBabyJane
    MissBabyJane Posts: 538 Member
    It was great at first, nice to see that people noticed the results of my hard work. Lately, though, it's been more uncomfortable. I am ten pounds from goal (down almost 100 lbs in 2 1/2 years, 72 lbs since last fall) and I've started to have people tell me, "Oh, you're getting too thin, you need to stop losing weight!" "If you lose any more, you're going to disappear" and similar annoying comments. I had one friend actually tell me that I need to gain weight (I'm 5'5 and 156 now, not at all scrawny) because it was 'unhealthy to lose that much weight', and that it's bad for my heart to exercise six days a week.

    Similar thing happened to me. I hate "If you lose any more, you're going to disappear". Like WHO THE HELL are you and why are you telling me how much should or shouldn't weight. UGH
  • BodyByBex
    BodyByBex Posts: 3,685 Member
    My years ago when I had just left my job I lost around 90lbs (I put it all back on I'm afraid). When I went back to visit my old colleagues a couple of them walked past me completely because they didn't recognise me! People were complimentary but I did feel a bit uncomfortable that some people that didn't really take much notice of me when I worked there all of a sudden wanted to be friendly with me.

    On another note I also noticed that I got much more attention from sales assistants in clothes stores! Whereas I used to be ignored and practically had to stalk a sales assistant to get any help before all of a sudden they were coming up to me and asking if they could help me. I should have felt delighted by this but in fact I felt really quite angry, I was still the same person as before but just wearing smaller clothing - it was almost like being fat meant I was a non-person which I think is a disgusting way to treat another human being. Having said all that it doesn't stop me wanting to lose the weight again as I want to be healthy.

    The sales associate thing got me. I have also experienced this. I was 246 lbs and no one noticed/offered to help me. 200 lbs and everyone wants mah money!:grumble:

    Seems to me the common denominator here is that before the weight is lost everyone is kind of invisible. People don't notice you or seem to go out of their way to NOT notice you. The the rest of the world "- it was almost like being fat meant I was a non-person which I think is a disgusting way to treat another human being." So NOW when they notice you, you are uncomfortable with the attention because you aren't used to it.

    I am using the word 'you' to generalize to just about anyone who has lost weight.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I'm only bothered when the person/people tell me I'm an inspiration. How are you inspired by me losing weight? :huh: It's the same feeling I get from people who are inspired by stretch marks aka "tiger stripes" :huh: . Are you also inspired by the scar on my left ankle?

    I changed my life and not for the better, either. I don't eat what I want anymore. I don't do what I want anymore. I'm more depressed than ever. How is that something people want to be inspired by?

    I don't mean to be rude, but why are you doing it if it's not making you happy?

    I couldn't buy/find clothes that would fit me. At my heaviest (320ish), I had 1 pair of pants I could fit in. Yes, 1 pair. I wasn't too poor or too cheap or didn't have nice family willing to buy me pants, there just were not any available to fit me.

    3 years ago at an annual physical, my GP told me I had high BP and cholesterol and losing weight would fix it along with going on the DASH diet and limiting sodium. I understand not wanting to prescribe pills for every ailment and trying a simpler way, but I've lost 139# and I still have HBP (don't know about cholesterol yet; have to wait another year). Of course, I can't get my old medical files transferred up here so GP can see my BP is in the same range as its always been or get GP to use a BP cuff that will fit my flabby, fat biceps or find out why the AMA increased the range for borderline/HBP (120/80 is borderline HBP now, whereas my normal 130/89 is HBP). Here's link for the curious: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/hbp/detect/categ.htm

    If I only had to keep my calories in check, I would be happier because I could include foods I'd enjoyed eating a couple years ago but had to stop because of the high sodium content.

    I never liked how I looked and who I was from the time I was 7 y/o. Why would losing a lot of weight change that perception? I'm still me.
  • Nedra19455
    Nedra19455 Posts: 241 Member
    Just happened today for the first time! One of my colleagues stage whispered to me, "Are you losing weight?" while we were standing at the copy machine! I felt instantly thrilled. I asked her if she could actually tell, or if she just knew because I keep talking about how sore and tired I am from my workouts to anyone who will listen. She said she hadn't heard me saying anything like that -- that should could tell by how loose my pants were.

    I felt awesome! :-D
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I'm only bothered when the person/people tell me I'm an inspiration. How are you inspired by me losing weight? :huh: It's the same feeling I get from people who are inspired by stretch marks aka "tiger stripes" :huh: . Are you also inspired by the scar on my left ankle?

    I changed my life and not for the better, either. I don't eat what I want anymore. I don't do what I want anymore. I'm more depressed than ever. How is that something people want to be inspired by?

    I don't mean to be rude, but why are you doing it if it's not making you happy?

    I couldn't buy/find clothes that would fit me. At my heaviest (320ish), I had 1 pair of pants I could fit in. Yes, 1 pair. I wasn't too poor or too cheap or didn't have nice family willing to buy me pants, there just were not any available to fit me.

    3 years ago at an annual physical, my GP told me I had high BP and cholesterol and losing weight would fix it along with going on the DASH diet and limiting sodium. I understand not wanting to prescribe pills for every ailment and trying a simpler way, but I've lost 139# and I still have HBP (don't know about cholesterol yet; have to wait another year). Of course, I can't get my old medical files transferred up here so GP can see my BP is in the same range as its always been or get GP to use a BP cuff that will fit my flabby, fat biceps or find out why the AMA increased the range for borderline/HBP (120/80 is borderline HBP now, whereas my normal 130/89 is HBP). Here's link for the curious: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/hbp/detect/categ.htm

    If I only had to keep my calories in check, I would be happier because I could include foods I'd enjoyed eating a couple years ago but had to stop because of the high sodium content.

    I never liked how I looked and who I was from the time I was 7 y/o. Why would losing a lot of weight change that perception? I'm still me.

    Thank you for your honest answer.

    I truly hope you will find happiness in some form, though.
  • lilredhead314
    lilredhead314 Posts: 52 Member
    I dont mind, but it's a bit awkward when people want to talk about it.
  • DeterminedFee201426
    DeterminedFee201426 Posts: 859 Member
    iam glad when iam complimented by it but when ppl start to make suggestions about you losted too much weight and you need
    to gain some pounds thats the irritating part :grumble:
  • dannysgirl77
    dannysgirl77 Posts: 2
    I have always felt pretty uncomfortable about hearing it too. I think it is because I have always been so confident in who I am, no matter what size I am. When I hear something like Wow, You've look great, you are losing weight, it makes me feel like they thought I was disgusting before.When someone comments on my loss, it is usually followed by "you look so good" and I automatically think, "did I not before?" So, it bugs me.

    Of course, I have come to the recent realization that I am the one who put that negative spin on it, and no one is trying to say anything but Great Job.
  • AKNMHunt
    AKNMHunt Posts: 168 Member
    I really love that people notice, but I feel like I don't know the appropriate response. "wow you look like you lost a lot", "oh my look at you, you're so skinny!", "you look fantastic!"

    I feel like anything I say will be braggy or self-involved.

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