This Isn't Me....

A neighbor asked me to come to a Mary Kay meeting with her tonight. She's been wanting me to sign up to sell, but I definitely can't afford the starter kit (plus, I'm not really the make-up type of girl). However, to get out of the house and meet new people, I decided to go. She didn't warn me that the "guests" would be put through a facial and then put back in front of a crowd to show-off. Or, at least that's how it felt to me who hates the spotlight. When everyone there saw me after that, they kept telling me how "beautiful" I was, which makes it even worse for me because I don't feel beautiful. It just feels like everyone is trying to change who I am. Does that make any sense? Everyone keeps saying make-up adds to my beauty... but, to me, it just covers up who I am (which isn't anyone special as is). I just don't think it adds that much to me either way. And to show an example... I posted a picture of tonight, and then one that I took a couple of weeks ago to send my step-mother showing her my hair cut. I don't know if it's just me or what... but, I just look fake.

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P.S. I couldn't just leave, because I went with my neighbor. :ohwell:
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Replies

  • fourfancy
    fourfancy Posts: 4
    I don't see a ton of difference, honestly. Your face has a lot of natural color.

    I don't wear makeup either. Nothing wrong with that.
  • vegwrangler
    vegwrangler Posts: 143 Member
    You are special and BRAVE for going. I would have ran away at the possible threat of a.) spackle being applied to my face and b.) social interaction with people that party with spackle.

    Your before picture is just as, if not moreso, adorably beautiful as the after. The only thing that adds to your beauty is what you want to add to it.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,474 Member
    I think you look great in both pics; the made up one isn't too much at all. It enhances what you already have.

    I totally get the self image issues, but the negative self talk has gotta go. It will do nothing for you.
  • lucyford22
    lucyford22 Posts: 198 Member
    The way your makeup done was quite flattering in my opinion. It's very neutral but still nice. But if you're not comfortable then just wash it off. Done.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,864 Member
    Makeup is weird when you think about it. Makeup and high heels. I don't blame any woman who says the hell with either or both. I like the way women look without makeup.
  • DeliriumCanBeFun
    DeliriumCanBeFun Posts: 319 Member
    I think you look lovely in both pics:) I can totally relate to other women trying to be pushy with the makeup. Years ago I had a Mary Kay lady go on and on about my beautiful skin, and I couldn't say no when she wanted to come over to give me a facial. But then of course it was all about her selling her crap lol. Feeling comfortable without makeup is something most women cannot imagine. A lady in my cycling club wears more every time she rides than I have ever worn in my whole life. But that's how she feels comfortable. I've always felt best wearing just a little like you have here, but sometimes even that just feels like too much trouble. Do what makes you feel best.
  • tinkbaby101
    tinkbaby101 Posts: 180 Member
    You look gorgeous in both! I don't think it makes you look fake, since it's done rather tastefully. But if you're not comfortable with wearing makeup, don't! You're perfectly beautiful without. :wink:
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
    Who was the MK consultant. Love your hair though
  • brisingr86
    brisingr86 Posts: 1,694 Member
    I think you look fine either way and if it's not you, don't worry about it. But you should always feel beautiful whether you're wearing make-up or not. It's really great that you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone to go with your neighbor, even if it wasn't your thing. I think the same determination will help in your journey here; you have to get uncomfortable sometimes to change to what you want to be (and it needs to be who you want to be, not what others want you to be). That being said, be proud of who you are and love yourself; believe that you are beautiful and special and important.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    Your right the difference is subtle. Your also right you look great without makeup. I would never say you need it. You are correct in feeling you look fantastic without it. Your skin is wonderful and your smile and coloring are very pretty. The thing that makes you the prettiest is the confidence you feel. And since you have more of it without the makeup just do that.

    Skin care is important to keep your face as pretty as it is. I'm sad you didn't know it would be a makeover situation. Most ppl assume ppl know that by now since that company has been around a long long time but it's always nice to make things clear ahead of time.

    You can do your part by making it clear to your friend you do not intend to sign up, and that you do not intend to buy makeup as you feel correctly that you don't need it. Wish her luck and that's it. You owe nobody anything. Honesty helps friendships stay strong.

    You look pretty both ways. The makeup did not hide your or change you just added little touches. Nothing major. Either way :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
    I think you have really beautiful natural coloring. I don't think wearing makeup is necessary for you.

    I don't wear makeup myself, it's too much work.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    So, if it's not you, wash it off. That is the beauty of makeup, it's art that goes away with soap and water.
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
    It just looks like it enhances your natural beauty. I love make-up. I wear it about half the time. I am not one of those who has to have it on before I leave the house (I totally do not understand that). I feel comfortable without it.

    I agree with the other poster who said to get rid of the negative self-talk. It will prevent you from reaching your goals. You have to believe how wonderful you are or you will self-sabotage yourself throughout your life.
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,655 Member
    IMHO you seem to have very nice skin and nice color, with or without the makeup. Also IMHO, whoever took the photos should have backed up a little... the photos seem a bit distorted by foreshortening... I wouldn't be surprised if that's at least part of what you're reacting to.

    Mostly, though, just in to say I agree with the other posters who've suggested you ditch the self-slamming.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    Okay after cruising your profile pics I do want to say this pic on the right is the most flattering you've had your hair and if you were going to "do" your eyes this is the most successful eye "look" I've seen from your pics. Just in case you need to go somewhere someday that you think makeup might be appropriate, like a wedding or interview or whatever.

    Also the happy colors of your butterfly top work really well with your skin tone and hair and eye color. The lipstick is also a very cheerful shade that I wouldn't kick out of bed for eating crackers.

    The entire face look is more modern than the rest of your profile pics so all in all I'd say your neighbor is onto something and if you needed a "look" for any reason this is the way to go.

    Now for reals I'm OUT!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    IMHO you seem to have very nice skin and nice color, with or without the makeup. Also IMHO, whoever took the photos should have backed up a little... the photos seem a bit distorted by foreshortening... I wouldn't be surprised if that's at least part of what you're reacting to.

    Mostly, though, just in to say I agree with the other posters who've suggested you ditch the self-slamming.

    I think she's reacting to being told by a bunch of women she hardly knew in close quarters that she looked "beautiful" and yadda yadda. It can be overwhelming and off putting to be so close to people you hardly know and be gushed on enthusiastically when you are not used to that kind of thing.

    I know I get twitchy if a MAC girl overdoes my eyes to look like a shiny tramp and she tells me I look "FANTASTIC" and SO MUCH better than when I came in. It makes me feel like I came in off a garbage truck. Then to go home and be told by hubs that they made me look like an old lady who's trying to hard, that confirms it's just not me. Everone has their own style or comfort level. It's important to remember the PERSON when trying to show off the products. In this case I do think OP looks very pretty. She may have just felt overwhelmed by everyone saying it at once. In person. When she though she was going to a "meeting" not a "makeover".
  • missomgitsica
    missomgitsica Posts: 496 Member
    Both pictures look good. Honestly, I think you're overthinking this . . . I'm fairly certain all the people who complimented your makeup were either giving you a genuine compliment or trying to sell product to you, not trying to make you into something you're not.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    You should feel proud that you survived that Mary Kay Mauling!

    I like makeup and wear it most of the time (I do go out without it, but prefer it most days), and even I was terrified at the one Mary Kay cult meeting that I was tricked into attending. Brutal! Absolutely brutal!

    As for your pics and the whole makeup issue -- it doesn't have to be a big deal. Sometimes it's fun to wear makeup, and sometimes it's better to go natural. Makeup is like clothing -- sometimes it's great to get dressed up, and sometimes it's great to slouch around in sweats. Neither makes a statement about who I am.

    Edited to add: It's similar to the whole compliment thing that you get while you're losing weight. People will rave over how great you look as you lose, and you can either choose to take it as encouragement and a compliment, or you can choose to label it negatively as a judgement on who you were before you lost weight. I choose to see the positive. :-)
  • Oi_Sunshine
    Oi_Sunshine Posts: 819 Member
    You were a good sport and tried it, and you don't like it. Nothing wrong with that. A simple "I dont like makeup so I'm the last person who would sell it." Should be enough of an answer for your friend. If it's not, a simple "I would appreciate it if you would stop telling me to do something I don't want to do." should be more than enough.

    If that doesn't work, try to convince her to eat the lipstick tube. "Come on, how do you know you don't like it unless you try?" :wink:





    And you look lovely as you are. :smile:
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    How you feel in your own skin has very little to do with make-up. You'll never believe someone saying you're beautiful if you don't believe it yourself, whether you have make-up on or not. If make-up isn't a confidence boost for you then definitely don't use it. Compliments when you do something different with your face, hair, clothes, are natural (and rarely dishonest). Just go with the flow girl!