Polite ways to tell people to mind their own business
Replies
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first, let me say thanks for your service!
second - I had a co-worker that was really hassling me about not going out to eat with the crowd any more and not eating the sweets that get brought to the office, etc - I mean really going on about how I would have to eat like THIS (like healthy eating is a bad thing) for the rest of my life and crap like that. What finally shut him up was me turning around one day and in a firm voice (not angry or upset but firm) telling him that I LIKE eating like this, it is a CHOICE that I have made, I like the RESULTS that I am getting and it works for ME! He hasn't made a snide comment since that day.0 -
The next time someone comments on your food, try responding with enthusiasm. "Yeah! It's a spinach-and-couscous-salad with dressing I made myself! So good." Ask if they want to try it. Ask if they want the recipe. Be sweet about it! Be open and encouraging, and maybe they'll jump on the bandwagon with you.
That's what I do with my coworkers, but I do the same with their food (like: tell me everything about your salad! is it quinoa? is it Jerusalem couscous? what do you use as a dressing? and so on...). I think that they are now accustomed to the fact that I'm curious about food and they know that I am a food writer in my other life, so they seems ok with it. I try to do the same when I have questions like: "will you eat just this for lunch!?" (yes, but I had a wholesome snack at 11 and there's plenty of protein in that soup, etc., etc.).
The one thing that makes me crazy is people asking if I am pregnant everytime I turn down alcohol in favor of carbonated water. I didn't know that drinking alcohol is something we're supposed to do everytime we have an occasion to do it...0 -
The exits are here, here and here!0
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Just let them know this is the way you like to eat. And their judgements and comments are making you uncomfortable. If that doesnt set them right, then follow all the other stuff many people here have mentioned
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Your coworkers are probably self conscious about their own weight problems and are pushing it off on you. Personally I prefer to eat alone but I have had coworkers give me interesting looks for having a food scale on my desk but no snarky comments.
Your weight loss is your own and what you choose to put into your body is your decision and yours alone. I would politely tell your coworkers that you are watching what you eat and that it is important to you. If they still bother you after that then they are a bunch of negative Nancy's that you're probably better off not eating with.
I like the company of people, but I like lunch being my quiet time. If I don't go out for a quick bite somewhere during lunch I eat at my desk and read a chapter or two in my book.0 -
If you have tight abs, stand up, lift you shirt just enough to see the tummy and say "That's why! Any questions?"
Then drop your microphone on the floor, and walk off stage to staggering applause.
haha!! LOVE THIS!!
However....since I don't have a six pack, I would simply say that now that I've started to eat fresh whole foods, I just FEEL better, and I like it. Eating crap makes me feel like crap. PERIOD. 0 -
I love the abs show and quad naming comeback.
I think you have to go direct with them. "I love you guys, but stop giving me *kitten* everyday for eating healthier. I'm doing this to for x,y,z reasons."
Your true friends will show.0 -
I love the abs show and quad naming comeback.
I think you have to go direct with them. "I love you guys, but stop giving me *kitten* everyday for eating healthier. I'm doing this to for x,y,z reasons."
Your true friends will show.
I like you.0 -
the comments are really about them - they know they should be eating salad and don't want to - and because you are, they are feeling insecure....all about them - their issue. Remember this. So, ignore and keep doing what you're doing.
oh and listen to RDJ...
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If you have tight abs, stand up, lift you shirt just enough to see the tummy and say "That's why! Any questions?"
Then drop your microphone on the floor, and walk off stage to staggering applause.
mmmmmmmmmm applesauce.
oh.
you didn't say applesauce.
still want applesauce.0 -
Mind your own business... please?0
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I love the abs show and quad naming comeback.
I think you have to go direct with them. "I love you guys, but stop giving me *kitten* everyday for eating healthier. I'm doing this to for x,y,z reasons."
Your true friends will show.
co-workers... not true friends.
never have- never will be.
Co-workers. So that need to be "open" honest and genuine isn't there- 9/10 they are nasty because they are jealous.
so unfortunately- that doesn't really apply.0 -
Just say "Hey guys people talking about my food is a pet peeve of mine, so if you don't mind can we discuss something more interesting than what I am having for lunch?" If they give you crap, then you tell them to STFU0
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Honestly, I wouldn't be mean about it. No "I don't want to look like you"s or leaving carrots on their desks or **** like that. I know it's annoying, but don't be snide. They're probably REALLY insecure about their bodies, and that isn't going to help the situation. If you start acting like you're better, they'll just put you down more.
The next time someone comments on your food, try responding with enthusiasm. "Yeah! It's a spinach-and-couscous-salad with dressing I made myself! So good." Ask if they want to try it. Ask if they want the recipe. Be sweet about it! Be open and encouraging, and maybe they'll jump on the bandwagon with you. And if not, that's okay too. If someone's out and out giving you crap, just gently say that you would really appreciate it if they wouldn't comment on your habits, to please stop, and leave it there. If it goes any further, it's harassment, and I'd let someone above you know.
I was going to suggest something along this route. Don't be ashamed of your lunches, be proud of them. Treat them like they are a double fudge chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream and caramel drizzled over... with maybe, a little whipped cream....
sorry, i distracted myself. But the point is if you kind of brag about it, then that takes out the fun of poking fun at you, doesn't it?0 -
Honestly, I wouldn't be mean about it. No "I don't want to look like you"s or leaving carrots on their desks or **** like that. I know it's annoying, but don't be snide. They're probably REALLY insecure about their bodies, and that isn't going to help the situation. If you start acting like you're better, they'll just put you down more.
The next time someone comments on your food, try responding with enthusiasm. "Yeah! It's a spinach-and-couscous-salad with dressing I made myself! So good." Ask if they want to try it. Ask if they want the recipe. Be sweet about it! Be open and encouraging, and maybe they'll jump on the bandwagon with you. And if not, that's okay too. If someone's out and out giving you crap, just gently say that you would really appreciate it if they wouldn't comment on your habits, to please stop, and leave it there. If it goes any further, it's harassment, and I'd let someone above you know.
^^ This. And then I would find somewhere else to eat. Anywhere else. Enjoy your food, your results, and when you get a new, smaller outfit, wear it in to work and flaunt it. If anyone compliments you on it, say, "All that salad you were teasing me about got me here." Or of somebody asks why you don't eat with them anymore, tell them you prefer a quiet lunch.0 -
Just tell them that those things are your favorite foods. For some reason, people can live with this explanation.0
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A lot of the suggestions here are pretty terrible tbh. The reason people do this is because they feel guilty about their own eating habits in comparison to you. They are faced with the realisation that eating healthy, and being healthy (including weight) is possible and that YOU are doing something about it while they are not. So to cope with this, they will gang up on you, poke fun at you etc.
It's just basic psychology and happens in a lot of other areas besides health. Insulting them or pointing out their own unhealthy behaviors would make it a million times worse. Ignoring is usually best, but if that doesn't work the only other thing you can really do in a workplace is to firmly, but calmly tell them that they need to back off. Don't expect a positive reaction from this either. I sincerely doubt it will be met with "Oh but of course, we will stop at once!". They might even accuse you of overreacting. But hopefully, this will cause them to stop with these comments in the future.
Alternatively, you could just avoid them. I realise this may not be possible if you work together, but if you have an option to leave for lunch, why not try going to a nearby park or something and eat in peace?
Anyway, congratulations on your mostly positive journey 0 -
Tell them when they start paying for your food and other bills, then they can decide what you should eat.0
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If you're tired of ignoring it and want to say something, be confident and direct. Tell them to knock it off. They've made their point, and you like what you're eating more. They're probably insecure and jealous, have had terrible treatment due to their weight, and they're lashing out (I play an armchair psychologist on TV...). If they don't change and it still bothers you, go sit somewhere else. They're not worth it.0
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Kill people with kindness. Smile and nod and just keep telling them that you need to eat this way because your metabolism sucks. Let them feel good about themselves and it will pass.Let me start by saying that my weight loss journey so far has been a mostly positive experience. I have friends and family that support and encourage me, and for that I am grateful!
However...
I am having an increasingly difficult time dealing with the Negative Nancy's at my work!! I have a very pleasant working relationship with all of my coworkers UNTIL lunch time rolls around. I bring my lunch with me every day and always keep a supply of healthy snacks on hand. My coworkers always bring the junkiest food you could imagine and then give me a hard time about my eating habits. I have tried everything!! I usually just laugh it off and tell them that I'm trying to be healthier, but lately it almost seems like they are mad at me for eating salad?!? While these ladies are wonderful, everyone of them is overweight. And not just a little. I NEVER give them a hard time about their food!
Ugh! I'm just fed up and I don't know how to politely tell them to STFU... Ignoring them or just kinda playing it off is clearly not working.
Suggestions??
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
There's a quote somewhere on these boards about how action inspires resentment among the inactive. It really does. They know they are making bad choices, and when you make good choices, they feel like you're judging them.
Since they're coworkers, it's a little sticky because you don't want this to affect your job.
If it were me, I would hold them accountable to what they're doing, and it's bullying you because they feel defensive. I would ask them why they feel so concerned about my personal food choices, why they feel defensive, etc.0 -
Kill people with kindness. Smile and nod and just keep telling them that you need to eat this way because your metabolism sucks. Let them feel good about themselves and it will pass.Let me start by saying that my weight loss journey so far has been a mostly positive experience. I have friends and family that support and encourage me, and for that I am grateful!
However...
I am having an increasingly difficult time dealing with the Negative Nancy's at my work!! I have a very pleasant working relationship with all of my coworkers UNTIL lunch time rolls around. I bring my lunch with me every day and always keep a supply of healthy snacks on hand. My coworkers always bring the junkiest food you could imagine and then give me a hard time about my eating habits. I have tried everything!! I usually just laugh it off and tell them that I'm trying to be healthier, but lately it almost seems like they are mad at me for eating salad?!? While these ladies are wonderful, everyone of them is overweight. And not just a little. I NEVER give them a hard time about their food!
Ugh! I'm just fed up and I don't know how to politely tell them to STFU... Ignoring them or just kinda playing it off is clearly not working.
Suggestions??
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I like this answer.0 -
whenever my coworkers try and push I just say "no thanks i'm good" and they tend to leave me be.
some are worried I don't eat enough (they see how small my lunch is) and I just explain that its a protein filled lunch and a little goes a long way.
also they tease me when they see me eat chocolate (I thought you were on a diet blah blah) to which I explain that if it fits my macro I shall eat my 75% dark chocolate.
I've "converted" some of them to the iifym lifestyle
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Just ignore them. Ugh, I hate offices. You could just reflect everything they say back to them, but if I know office women (and I do), they'll be super offended.0
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"I am having an increasingly difficult time dealing with the Negative Nancy's at my work!! I have a very pleasant working relationship with all of my coworkers UNTIL lunch time rolls around. I bring my lunch with me every day and always keep a supply of healthy snacks on hand. My coworkers always bring the junkiest food you could imagine and then give me a hard time about my eating habits. I have tried everything!! I usually just laugh it off and tell them that I'm trying to be healthier, but lately it almost seems like they are mad at me for eating salad?!? While these ladies are wonderful, everyone of them is overweight. And not just a little. I NEVER give them a hard time about their food!"
CHICKENTUNA calls these people 'crap pushers'...she even wrote a template letter about them. Check it out:
http://chickentuna.com/Crap_pushers_sample_letter.html0 -
When I was younger I would often grow a gnarly beard and would even get strangers commenting on the need to trim it. I would simply say "I like to keep it long because it helps me mind my own business." It generally would get a laugh from at least anyone with me at the time so now its my go to move when ever someone says something about me. "Oh I __________________ because it helps my mind my own business."0
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I stay silent, but have mastered this look
It makes them uncomfortable and they go away.0 -
I didn't read the responses but this is why I avoid the break room. I eat in my office and make excuses not to be around my coworkers at lunch. This may not be an option for you.0
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I don't care what people think, and i have gotten the "look who is eating healthy comments" at work at first that is but now.....its what are you eating....and I am grilled on my diet so that they can improve. So let them laugh now.....later you will be the one smiling when you are stronger and healthier.0
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