Feel like I keep getting beaten down.

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AKNMHunt
AKNMHunt Posts: 168 Member
in Motivation and Support
I started strong and it's slowly gone down hill. My motivation is gone, I'm flat out exhausted and I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

In two months I've lost 16lbs, it's amazing, but it's not enough to motivate me. My kids have gotten sick, health scare with my oldest, moving in less than 3 months 4800 miles with two small children, prepping the house to move alone, it's all so much. Too much.

I keep thinking, "I'll do better tomorrow" and then I don't. Today I had 9 Chips Ahoy cookies and Chick Fil A for dinner.

I'm emotionally drained after an emergency scare with my youngest (he was locked in a hot car, by me, on accident, not good for emotions)

I need someone to come b-slap me into shape. I have too much to do and I can't keep coming up with excuses.

Replies

  • MaggieLoo79
    MaggieLoo79 Posts: 288 Member
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    Oh wow! You've got so much going on!!! Please don't be so hard on yourself, it'll only make it worse. It's stressful right now, maybe go into maintenance and then start to lose again when things get settled? :flowerforyou:
  • Kelleylea3
    Kelleylea3 Posts: 3
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    Guess what, you are entitled to feel emotionally drained, beat down, and most of all scared. You are a mom that doesn't make you superwoman. But more importantly, I'd bet you have spent alot of time being strong and capable and no matter what life throws at you, you meet the challenge and come thru, (usually with chips ahoy, oreo, Ben and Jerry, and Chik Fil A supporting you).

    Now this is the important part, take a really deep breath, and realize that no matter what you are strong capable and truly are supermom in your kids eyes. The only real concern you have is your kiddos. Stop and truly consider what is the worst that will happen if you don't get the stuff packed. It will suck and you might have to start over, but families all over lose every thing in fires, tornadoes, mud slides and floods. You are not alone, just overwhelmed. If you have your kids and can feed them and put a roof over their heads, they won't mind camping out on the bedroom floor (it will be a great adventure) and grilling is a great diet cooking method.

    Think of every smile, giggle and mischievous act that your kids have made and will make and let those thoughts be the strength and motivation you need to struggle on, you will have better times ahead, and some more rough times, but only you can decide whether you will let those times keep you unhappy with yourself.

    Besides you have a whole group of people here to cheer you on.
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
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    I started strong and it's slowly gone down hill. My motivation is gone, I'm flat out exhausted and I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

    In two months I've lost 16lbs, it's amazing, but it's not enough to motivate me. My kids have gotten sick, health scare with my oldest, moving in less than 3 months 4800 miles with two small children, prepping the house to move alone, it's all so much. Too much.

    I keep thinking, "I'll do better tomorrow" and then I don't. Today I had 9 Chips Ahoy cookies and Chick Fil A for dinner.

    I'm emotionally drained after an emergency scare with my youngest (he was locked in a hot car, by me, on accident, not good for emotions)

    I need someone to come b-slap me into shape. I have too much to do and I can't keep coming up with excuses.

    What exactly are you expecting?? 16 pounds in 2 months is about two pounds a week. That's a great job. Expecting more than that is unrealistic. In fact, your weight loss will likely slow down as you get closer and closer to your goal. Be proud of what you've accomplished and be sure that your expectations aren't out of whack.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    You have a lot going on. Focus on one thing at a time instead of the whole picture.
  • mamaomefo
    mamaomefo Posts: 418 Member
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    Be proud of the 16 pounds you've lost. That is grand in my eyes! And, you are a mom of small children. That in itself is a large plateful. I expect the move with small children will be difficult. My husband and I did that about 25 years ago. We had 2 small children, a dog, and a bird. We moved cross country and lived with in-laws until we could find a house. It is very stressful. Give your self credit for all the good things you do for your kids and yourself. If you can, put the kids in a stroller and take a walk. It will help you feel better. But most of all good luck to you! Things will work out. It just seems like things are falling apart because you are uprooting your life to move. You are a strong person, and you can do this! ???????????? friend me if it will help.
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
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    Wow, you have A LOT going on!

    Take some time to breathe, rest (if possible), and manage things!

    I know that you want to lose weight, but if life truly is too hectic, put your settings at maintenance mode until the dust settles...this way you will not gain weight.

    Good luck!
  • 1pandabear
    1pandabear Posts: 336 Member
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    Wow, you have A LOT going on!

    Take some time to breathe, rest (if possible), and manage things!

    I know that you want to lose weight, but if life truly is too hectic, put your settings at maintenance mode until the dust settles...this way you will not gain weight.

    Good luck!

    I second this!
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
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    Listen, if you're tired enough to lock a kid in a hot car by accident, please, please, please step back and reassess how much you're asking of yourself. I'd say go into maintenance mode, don't try to lose any more for a while, just get through the move and settle into your new life. Once you're not on the brink of insanity from exhaustion, pick up the weight loss again.

    My husband tells me to get away from the knives and out of the kitchen if I drop more than one thing when I'm cooking -- he knows that that's a sign I'm too tired to be safe. I wish I could loan him to you for a while :) It might make you feel better about just treading water in this one aspect of your life so you can do everything else you need to do as well.

    Please take care of yourself.
  • Fattackler2013
    Fattackler2013 Posts: 142 Member
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    It's great that you've lost 16lbs so you should be very proud of yourself. You have a lot going on so try not to stress out too much. I'm sure that more weight will come off in good time.Take care. :D
  • AKNMHunt
    AKNMHunt Posts: 168 Member
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    I started strong and it's slowly gone down hill. My motivation is gone, I'm flat out exhausted and I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

    In two months I've lost 16lbs, it's amazing, but it's not enough to motivate me. My kids have gotten sick, health scare with my oldest, moving in less than 3 months 4800 miles with two small children, prepping the house to move alone, it's all so much. Too much.

    I keep thinking, "I'll do better tomorrow" and then I don't. Today I had 9 Chips Ahoy cookies and Chick Fil A for dinner.

    I'm emotionally drained after an emergency scare with my youngest (he was locked in a hot car, by me, on accident, not good for emotions)

    I need someone to come b-slap me into shape. I have too much to do and I can't keep coming up with excuses.

    What exactly are you expecting?? 16 pounds in 2 months is about two pounds a week. That's a great job. Expecting more than that is unrealistic. In fact, your weight loss will likely slow down as you get closer and closer to your goal. Be proud of what you've accomplished and be sure that your expectations aren't out of whack.

    I'm not expecting more. I should be over the moon and have it motivate me. THATS what upsets me. I'm very fortunate to have lost what I have. I don't want to lose too fast because I want this to be a life change.
  • AKNMHunt
    AKNMHunt Posts: 168 Member
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    Listen, if you're tired enough to lock a kid in a hot car by accident, please, please, please step back and reassess how much you're asking of yourself. I'd say go into maintenance mode, don't try to lose any more for a while, just get through the move and settle into your new life. Once you're not on the brink of insanity from exhaustion, pick up the weight loss again.

    It wasnt me being tired. I went to go get him out because he was asleep and I was going to put him in the carrier. I set my keys and phone in my purse and went around to get him. When I got there, it was locket. I figured I didn't hit the button so I went back to my door and it was locked. I didn't forget him.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
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    Oh dear, I was afraid that if I mentioned that, I would sound like I was attacking you for putting him in danger, and I definitely did not mean to do that -- your post was detailed enough that it was pretty clear this was an accident that you fixed right away and he wasn't ever in peril.

    The thing is, if you brought it up, it's clear that you're upset about it on some level (as would I be -- an unhappy ending to a kid locked in a car is one of my nightmares, so bad that I can't think about it too long). You mentioned it as an example of how ... out of control you feel? How beaten down you are? One accident and you're really, really down on yourself, and it just hurts to see someone who's doing so well, juggling so many things, being unmoved by success and focusing on the bad parts.

    Which is why I said it sounds like you're overwhelmed, just completely overloaded to the point that you aren't feeling joy. If focusing on calories is too much of a strain right now, stop. For me, losing weight takes a lot of mental energy; I have to keep thinking about it and telling myself No a thousand times a day until the bad habits are broken, and it sounds like you're stretched too thin right now to expend that energy. It's ok to just go on maintenance while everything else whirls around your head -- you'll have more calories to play with and you won't gain the weight back and feel like crap about that.
  • Fsunami
    Fsunami Posts: 241 Member
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    I started strong and it's slowly gone down hill. My motivation is gone, I'm flat out exhausted and I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

    In two months I've lost 16lbs, it's amazing, but it's not enough to motivate me. My kids have gotten sick, health scare with my oldest, moving in less than 3 months 4800 miles with two small children, prepping the house to move alone, it's all so much. Too much.

    I keep thinking, "I'll do better tomorrow" and then I don't. Today I had 9 Chips Ahoy cookies and Chick Fil A for dinner.

    I'm emotionally drained after an emergency scare with my youngest (he was locked in a hot car, by me, on accident, not good for emotions)

    I need someone to come b-slap me into shape. I have too much to do and I can't keep coming up with excuses.

    What exactly are you expecting?? 16 pounds in 2 months is about two pounds a week. That's a great job. Expecting more than that is unrealistic. In fact, your weight loss will likely slow down as you get closer and closer to your goal. Be proud of what you've accomplished and be sure that your expectations aren't out of whack.

    I'm not expecting more. I should be over the moon and have it motivate me. THATS what upsets me. I'm very fortunate to have lost what I have. I don't want to lose too fast because I want this to be a life change.

    If this is a lifestyle change instead of a diet, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, as the journey doesnt have a finite end.

    Give yourself credit for what you have accomplished, and stop beating the **** out of yourself for what you have perceived that you havent accomplished. ( or that you dont feel "sufficiently motivated).

    You say you should be "over the moon and have it motivate you" - according to what? A pre-determined script of how you "should" feel.?

    You are a human being, not a robot. Sometimes, things happen. Losing 16 lbs in two months under your circumstances is nothing short of incredible, actually. There are many (myself included) who used to use those facts to ADD 16 pounds in two months.:):):)

    The most important accomplishment you can take pride in is continuing to be a good parent in the face of the personal challenges youve described. Thats the legacy you will leave your children in this life, not that you had a few extra cookies.

    One piece of personal advice I might be able to offer regarding the "overwhelmed" feelng:

    I am the father of a 12 year old boy (only child) who has had 2 open heart surgeries (1st at 14 days, 2nd at 8 years, 2 months). I tell you this fact ONLY to share the primary lessons my wife and I have learned from the experience so that it may hekp you:

    1) Sometimes, you have to take things a day at a time. Sometimes, an hour at a time. And on rare occastions, a minute at a time. Whatever it takes to get you through and is right for you. When it feels like too much, break things down to a time period you can manage. Only you know what that is - remember, you can only eat the elephant one piece at a time....:)

    2) The only things that matters in this life is love. When you sign the consent forms handing your kid over to the doctors with the chance you may not get him back, everything else falls away & thats what ends up sticiking in your mind.

    Good luck, and I hope this helps......

    Chris
  • AKNMHunt
    AKNMHunt Posts: 168 Member
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    Oh dear, I was afraid that if I mentioned that, I would sound like I was attacking you for putting him in danger, and I definitely did not mean to do that -- your post was detailed enough that it was pretty clear this was an accident that you fixed right away and he wasn't ever in peril.


    No I'm sorry, I'm very emotional. I feel like a terrible mother. All I could do was stand there watching him as two strangers broke into my car. It terrified me. All I could think was they'd think I was a bad mom and want to take him.

    It does take so much energy to keep up with all this. It's so much easier to say eff it and go eat whatever I fancy. I miss doing that at times. Just eating, not thinking I shouldn't or what the calories are or if there's protein. Just eating and hating myself later. Haha.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    I've been there, believe me I know all about how hard it is. But focusing daily on my goals has really helped me, don't be so hard on yourself. Look at it as a lifestyle change , so even if you mess up just keep going. I know things are easier said then done, but where there's a will, there's a way. don't be so hard on yourself and keep your eyes on the prize :-)
  • lwestmill
    lwestmill Posts: 91 Member
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    I've been there and I too feel overwhelmed most the time. I'm a natural scatter butt. And being a mommy is a flipping HARD job! I have found after reading this site, which btw is wonderful! That you have to find your little successes. Start with those. If you are not loosing pounds, then measure your inches ect...

    For me my Fitbit keeps track of my steps for the day. It buzzes if I hit certain marks, letting me know I have done good for the day. I need to have an outside source helping me when I can't think of all of the diet world myself. I'm sure as you read more and more on the message boards, you will find others people's successes that you can incorporate into your life! Good luck being you/mommy.
    .
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
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    2) The only things that matters in this life is love. When you sign the consent forms handing your kid over to the doctors with the chance you may not get him back, everything else falls away & thats what ends up sticiking in your mind.

    Good luck, and I hope this helps......

    Chris

    I ... think probably Chris has better things to say about this than I ever could come up with. He has been forced to take the long view, longer than I ever will have to (I have no children).

    Please don't apologize for being emotional, for feeling like someone (me) was poking at you -- or whatever it was you were feeling -- or for being terrified that your kid was going to be taken away from you. You really do sound like you're on the ragged edge. The fact that you're still going is amazing.

    I wish I had advice for you besides "go easy on yourself." And exactly how are you supposed to go easy on yourself with all this *kitten* raining down on you? Got no ideas for you. Just a whole lot of sympathy. I haven't been exactly where you are, but I know that feeling of having my back to the wall and being afraid that I can't even stand up without the wall to lean on. It's awful.

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