I still feel fat! :(

SaraLily
SaraLily Posts: 30
in Motivation and Support
Hello everyone! Hope you're all doing well today! :)
I'm here because I need some advice.

I always had low self esteem, so this is something I've been working on for quite a while now. But I am a little worried. I lost 20 pounds already since October, but I still feel fat. I still feel the need to lose weight. Not a lot of weight, but a little, something like 5-7 pounds.

But my family believes I should stop losing weight and that I am fine just the way I am. On the other hand, I've been seeing a dietitian for the last 6 months and even though she says I'm "Slim", she says I could still lose a little more weight. I'm approximately 130 pounds and she says I could go anywhere from 125-117. I'm 5'4.

I started with a 38 inches waist, and now I'm 30 inches.

I don't know who to believe. I don't know if I should stop now? I don't especially feel good about myself, but then, I almost never have. I am scared this will turn into an eating disorder or an obsession.

I will attach a picture of my progress with this message. Be warned, the first picture is gross...but that's why I decided to lose weight in the first place.

I'm just scared I will never be happy with myself anyway. Is there anyone here who felt this way? I just don't know what to do and so, my motivation has gone down a lot...

698237progress.jpg
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Replies

  • this1bigdog
    this1bigdog Posts: 350 Member
    wow. .I think you look great!
    I should probably offer advice and not just drool at your picture :o)

    I think it's more important on how you feel, in your skin. . .
  • Asherah29
    Asherah29 Posts: 354 Member
    Stop worrying about what everyone else says and start finding ways to love yourself. You will never be happy with the way you look otherwise.
  • EmmieBaby
    EmmieBaby Posts: 1,235 Member
    you look fine to me!

    congratulations on the loss =)
  • docdrd
    docdrd Posts: 174 Member
    Do you see a therapist? This has less to do with weight loss and more to do with you just being pleased with yourself I would think. But my advice is STOP WORRYING about the scale (it is a lying device). Use the mirror and your clothes as the best judge. Your goal should be to be healthy, so set some exercise goals (like I want to lift X by October, or I want to run a 5K in Y time). Clearly, you are looking much better. I think you should change the focus from the scale to just being about health. Cheers!
  • LadyGhostDuchess
    LadyGhostDuchess Posts: 894 Member
    First of all, you look fantastic.
    I hope that you get some positive feed back on this post, I know some people can be *kitten* when it comes to being supportive and nice about things.

    I understand how you feel on body image and it is something that is hard to get over and deal with. I always seem to get sucked back inot the negative mind and when I look at myself I am like UGH. But in the end I have to love what I have. Find those things about you that are amazing and focus on them. Then the rest will be minimal to nothing. Maybe what you *want*/*need* is to tone up? Maybe that will help if you don't how you look. That will help to etch your body and tone it up to a firmer look.

    Like I said, I think you look fantastic.
    I do understand what you are going though. Just be good to yourself :) Find the positive! (yes I know it is hard hehe)
  • ellycope
    ellycope Posts: 80 Member
    For what it's worth, I think you look amazing. I had the same problem though. Having been overweight for so long and being so used to seeing that every day and critiquing it every day it took several months for my brain to catch up with my progress and to start seeing what I really looked like! I would suggest that you reduce your daily calorie defecit to slow down your weight loss and your idea of how fast you should be losing, give your brain a chance to catch up and se how you're feeling in a couple of months. If you spend much time on these forums you'll be recommended a heavy lifting programme before you know it!
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
    I think a lot of women feel "fat" when they're untoned. thin people still jiggle. personally, I think you look great, but if you think you need more, maybe do some weight training, and tighten up. the scale might not change, but your body will.

    I hope you feel better about yourself. you've come so far and done so well. :)
  • AHealthyMe1lbAtATime
    AHealthyMe1lbAtATime Posts: 188 Member
    You look great... but....... you need to feel good about yourself. so what do YOU want???
  • Austinetc
    Austinetc Posts: 74 Member
    Talk to the person whose opinion matters most. She's in your mirror. Well done caring about what other people think; shows empathy. But it's your life.
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
    For what it's worth, I think you look amazing. I had the same problem though. Having been overweight for so long and being so used to seeing that every day and critiquing it every day it took several months for my brain to catch up with my progress and to start seeing what I really looked like! I would suggest that you reduce your daily calorie defecit to slow down your weight loss and your idea of how fast you should be losing, give your brain a chance to catch up and se how you're feeling in a couple of months. If you spend much time on these forums you'll be recommended a heavy lifting programme before you know it!

    I have that problem. if I LOOK in the mirror, I see all the flaws, and the same overweight girl I've always seen. but if I just randomly see myself in a mirror, I think "damn, girl, you need a cookie!" ;) a lot of it IS in our minds, I think.

    awesome recommend. :drinker:
  • scarrletti_girl
    scarrletti_girl Posts: 479 Member
    i think you look great. i don't think you need to lose anymore weight but if you feel u need to lose like 5 more lbs to feel happy then go ahead but i wouldn't dip under 125lbs. you have done a great job and i wish u the best with your decision.
  • laurie62ann
    laurie62ann Posts: 433 Member
    Losing weight is as much mental as it is a healthy life style. You might want to focus on thinking positive. Take a really good look at your pictures. They say a lot; a lot about how far you have come.

    You might consider strength training! I find that lifting weights helps my mental status. It makes me feel in powered!
  • SaraLily
    SaraLily Posts: 30
    Wow, I can't believe how many replies I got in such a short time!
    You guys are amazing! Thank you SO much! I feel a little better.

    To answer most of your questions:

    1) I have an upcoming appointment to see a therapist. I decided by myself that I needed help
    2) I lost the weight only with diet. Didn't exercise much...in fact...besides using the stairs at work, I don't do anything...

    I guess I do care too much about what people think of me.

    Thank you all, seriously. I really appreciate that you took the time to encourage me!
  • laurie62ann
    laurie62ann Posts: 433 Member
    Do you see a therapist? This has less to do with weight loss and more to do with you just being pleased with yourself I would think. But my advice is STOP WORRYING about the scale (it is a lying device). Use the mirror and your clothes as the best judge. Your goal should be to be healthy, so set some exercise goals (like I want to lift X by October, or I want to run a 5K in Y time). Clearly, you are looking much better. I think you should change the focus from the scale to just being about health. Cheers!

    THIS!! Set physical goals and change your focus to positive!!
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I think you look great. Your family has no say in your health goals. If you still feel fat and taking off another 5-7 pounds will make you feel better about yourself, then do it.

    Meanwhile, realize those things that your weight may have prevented you from doing before. I couldn't ride on amusement park rides, or fit in a seat on a plane, or even walk around the airport. I'm able to do those things a lot more easily now. No, I'm still not where I want to be, but there are things that I couldn't do that I can now, and that's something to feel good about.

    It's good that you're proceeding with caution. Continue on that route and work with the dietician.
  • cherigaudet
    cherigaudet Posts: 6
    Hopefully you've received some validation that your persistence has paid off and you look wonderful. Hopefully you will stop using words like "gross" to describe yourself. You've dropped some weight, now focus on getting strong - mentally as well as physically! Keep up the awesome work.
  • AntnNicsMom
    AntnNicsMom Posts: 29 Member
    Funny that you say the first pic is "gross" - I wish my stomach would look like that! I have loose skin and stretch marks galore thanks to babies and weight loss. I think you are perfect as long as you are healthy. Maybe you should start working on the inside instead of worrying about the outside. Find a way to love yourself...you deserve it! :smile:
  • Zaftique
    Zaftique Posts: 599 Member
    Your goal should be to be healthy, so set some exercise goals (like I want to lift X by October, or I want to run a 5K in Y time).

    ^^^^^^^ this ^^^^^^^

    In theory, I want to go down to [x]lbs.
    In practice, however, I want to get in sufficient shape to do the Zombie Run next year (this year is a wash, I'd have to nearly kill myself to be ready in time, and I wanna take it slow & steady). I want to run up a flight of stairs without getting winded. I want to beat my 1RM of 600lbs for leg presses. I want to be able to lift a timpani over my head again.

    Achieving all those will also give me the side benefit of fitting into size 10 jeans, but that's just icing on the cake of physical prowess.

    What are your goals? What do you want your fitness to do for you?
  • martinel2099
    martinel2099 Posts: 899 Member
    You look great, amazing weight loss results and you earned it.

    The Scale is a tool to help monitor your progress, not your report card. Take it's measurements with a grain of salt as the human body is complicated. The best measurement is how you look, feel and how well those pants are fitting.

    Keep up the good work+++
  • wannastayfit
    wannastayfit Posts: 25 Member
    I'm 5' 2" and 122 lbs. And I still feel pudgy. At 118 I'm in the middle of my BMI - so that's where I want to be. Would like to just prove it to myself that I can do it. I met with a nutritionist who said this was so fine. She said at my height I could be anywhere from 136 to 101. Go with your instinct and when you reach your goals and feel great - be proud of yourself!!!
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    You, mam, are absolutely gorgeous!
  • JeanMBK
    JeanMBK Posts: 728 Member
    Talk to the person whose opinion matters most. She's in your mirror. Well done caring about what other people think; shows empathy. But it's your life.

    I agree ^ You look fantastic! Great job!
  • kmcher
    kmcher Posts: 2 Member
    Honestly,
    I think the main purpose in losing weight is to not only look good (because ultimately that's our goal) but it's to be healthy. Being healthy is very important not only physically but mentally and emotionally. Try incorporating more positivity about your success so far into your every day because it's easy to get caught up in negative emotions or feelings but more rewarding to realize how far you've come!

    And I completely agree with the reviewers above. You look healthy! Keep it up!
  • MikeInAZ
    MikeInAZ Posts: 483 Member
    Your stomach looks good. But maybe the fat isn't in your gut anymore? How are your arms, butt, thighs, etc. Get a DUNK TANK body fat measurement done. Find out what your body fat % is! That may help you figure out what you need to do next. I lost 40lbs and thought I was pretty skinny, then I had a body fat % test done and found out I was still 30%+ body fat! Whaaaat??? How can that be? Well there's a lot of fat between my abs and skin that I just couldn't see!

    Maybe you're up for some strength training and toning? Adding muscle may put ON some pounds, but you will be replacing fat with lean muscle.

    Don't ever get complacent with your current weight. I did and put a bunch back on. If you were fat once, you can get fat again. So keep up the good work, the diet, the exercise, the healthy choices. Find activities you like and do them!

    Everyone here has good advice when they say, listen to your body. But ask yourself what you want to achieve? Did you just want to lose weight? Are you ready to get ripped? Do you want to be tone? Are you happy with what you see in the mirror? You decide what you need to do.
  • dammitjanet0161
    dammitjanet0161 Posts: 319 Member
    You've done really well and look great. Personally I don't think that you *need* to lose another 5-7lbs as you're already at a healthy weight and another 5lbs probably won't make that much of a difference to the way you look - and how do you know that you wouldn't still be unsatisfied and want to lose even more afterwards?

    How do you feel in other areas of your life? I know that when I feel happy/busy/fulfilled that my weight and appearance are not at the forefront of my mind, but that at times when things have been going badly in general, I have become more critical and sad at the way I look.

    ETA - if you still feel "jiggly" then you could think about weight training to firm up, BUT you'd need to feel strong enough to go by appearance and fit of clothes rather than weight alone to avoid freaking out if you put on a little scale weight from increased muscle.
  • BreeJaxon
    BreeJaxon Posts: 128
    Girl, I am a size 5 and I've lost 55 lbs. It took me a year and a half and one million selfies to realize I was thin. YOU look amazing.....you did it! But it will take time, it didn't take a year to form your mindset :) Hang in there sweets, you're beautiful!
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    You look great to me, but what I think (or anyone else) doesn't matter. If you want to lose more (within a healthy range for your height) go for it. As long as you're doing it correctly, no crazy pills or VLC diets, I don't see what the harm is. Try some lifting if you haven't already. It really helps you look tighter and smaller.
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    I think a lot of women feel "fat" when they're untoned. thin people still jiggle. personally, I think you look great, but if you think you need more, maybe do some weight training, and tighten up. the scale might not change, but your body will.

    I hope you feel better about yourself. you've come so far and done so well. :)

    This^

    You've done a great job!

    If you still feel you need to do more......make fitness your priority. Muscle is sleek & compact. If you don't strength train now.....start.
  • TashTag
    TashTag Posts: 109
    You LOOK AMAZING... just want to hug you lol

    I think you should start a blog, get your feelings out there. Spread your story. This way you wont feel so alone. Are you paying this dietician, cause maybe that's why she doesn't want you to stop going? Surely you are at the maintenance part of the process???

    I think you look amazing and im proud of you
  • peleroja
    peleroja Posts: 3,979 Member
    These other posters are all correct, of course, about loving your body and all that.

    However, I am your height and with my build I can tell you that I am MUCH happier and fitter looking at 118 than I am at 130. 130 is perfectly healthy and looks great on lots of women our height, but some of us with smaller bone structure can be lower and still look healthy and not super skinny.

    All I'm saying is you really might find that another 10-15 pounds would make a big difference to how happy you are. Strength training is a great idea too, of course (for both your health and appearance) but the results are much slower and you ultimately still have some fat on top of that definition. Ten pounds is a couple more months of dieting and it might make all the difference you want. I'm not saying not to lift if you want to, but I am saying that you might not have to if you don't want to in order to get the results you want.

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