Should a 5'9.6 145 girl want to lose weight
josiebearly11209
Posts: 22
I am a teenager who is 145 lb at 5'9.5. I have a lot of friends who are like 120 pounds and it makes me feel depressed/sad because I know I will never weigh that little.
I wear a size 4 dress, small to medium top (I have a larger bust so I usually have to go up a size in shirts just for that reason alone) and a size 7-8 in jeans/shorts, I carry a lot of weight in my hips and rear end and the top/back of my thighs otherwise my legs are slim. My stomach is usually quite flat as I drink plenty of water and eat low carb (I have a carb intolerance but also don't like bread, rice, pasta much anyways) but the number really bugs me. I feel unattractive to men at 145 pounds. At my highest I was 165 lb but lost the weight as I have matured (I think it was more puppy fat/baby fat. My doctor is not concerned) I just don't feel very feminine like petite and dainty at my height and especially my weight. I have long legs and arms and I feel like a man.
The current guy interested in me is very open about his weight of 195 lb at 6'0 (he is an athlete so he carries a lot of muscle, you would have no idea he actually weighs close to 200 pounds) but I have been shutting him down and denying him access to me emotionally because I feel as though he deserves a petite, dainty girl which I am not.
I feel stuck and like I am closing doors because of my weight.
I wear a size 4 dress, small to medium top (I have a larger bust so I usually have to go up a size in shirts just for that reason alone) and a size 7-8 in jeans/shorts, I carry a lot of weight in my hips and rear end and the top/back of my thighs otherwise my legs are slim. My stomach is usually quite flat as I drink plenty of water and eat low carb (I have a carb intolerance but also don't like bread, rice, pasta much anyways) but the number really bugs me. I feel unattractive to men at 145 pounds. At my highest I was 165 lb but lost the weight as I have matured (I think it was more puppy fat/baby fat. My doctor is not concerned) I just don't feel very feminine like petite and dainty at my height and especially my weight. I have long legs and arms and I feel like a man.
The current guy interested in me is very open about his weight of 195 lb at 6'0 (he is an athlete so he carries a lot of muscle, you would have no idea he actually weighs close to 200 pounds) but I have been shutting him down and denying him access to me emotionally because I feel as though he deserves a petite, dainty girl which I am not.
I feel stuck and like I am closing doors because of my weight.
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Replies
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hmmm...you should not want to lose weight.
I am a bit shorter than you and I am quite happy at 154 atm.
Will you ever been a small dainty girl...nope you are a tall slender curvy one and I know lots of guys my son included that would be all over you like white on rice...
Why ? because they don't want the 120lb dainty little thing, my son actually says he is afraid of dating a girl that size cause he is tall and well built and can't have fun with them...ie wrestling....throwing them in a snow bank (for fun) playing in the snow etc cause he's afraid he will actually hurt them.
Never mind he like a girl with boobs and a butt...
Stop shutting him down if he wanted a small dainty girl would he be going after you? nope..he wants tall and curvy...0 -
Losing weight shouldn't be your goal, you're definitely in the healthy range. Consider going to the gym to help build muscle and tone. I've never seen a woman who works out a lot and doesn't look amazing.0
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with your weight/height ratio. 120 is not a magic number.
Please oh, PLEASE get that out of your head before it makes you crazy. I'm so serious. You are at your perfect weight. "Skinny" is not cute and with your height, you are already bordering on it.
You are only 19, you are perfect, and you need to recognize it for what it is.
Since you are so concerned with what men like and deserve (by the way, what about you! Don't you deserve a nice guy? YES you do so don't worry about him) let me tell you what men don't like.....men don't really like insecurlty. I'm telling you now before you end up a 35 year old beauty with severe emotional issues.
Worry about making yourself happy and EVERYONE will respond to that. Your confidence, along with your good looks will only make you more attractive. Please keep that in mind and don't worry about "what men like" because in the end, when you are naked they are not looking at your stretch marks; they are counting the seconds when they can put their hands on you.0 -
Thank you @SezkyStef!! I am glad to hear you're happy with your weight and that your son is interested in girls more like me. It is very re-assuring for sure0
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First, you're a teenager. Your goal in life should be to have fun with your friends and do well in school. Being a teen is awkward and angsty. You are battling hormones and societal pressure. I hated my body as a teen - had terrible image issues back then. I was 5'4" and 145 lbs. Now, I'm the same height and 52 pounds heavier - I don't have body image concerns anymore but I know I can be more fit and am trying to get back to that 16 year old weight. Teen girls shouldn't diet, they should eat well and be physically active. If your doctor is not concerned, you're fine. If you're in doubt, find someone you can train weights with. That builds tone, confidence and helps you meet new people.0
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You are a perfectly healthy weight. This honestly sounds more like a self esteem issue than a weight issue. Just remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. I can guarantee you that many of those small dainty girls you talk about would love to be tall and curvy. Learn to embrace what you have and be confident. The guy who is interested in you wouldn't be interested in you if he wanted small and petite and dainty.
If you are unhappy with how your body looks, maybe look into weight training and changing how your weight is distributed. Plus it makes you feel bada** and feels great. But as far as losing weight, no. You definitely don't need to.0 -
I have a 14 year old daughter who does not like that she is only 5'1". She may grow a little more, but may not and likely not much. Comparing your weight to all of your friends, of different heights, is not fair to yourself.0
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Listen to stuff she knows her stuff.... Are your friends the same height as you... You will figure it out one day that you cannot compare weight... I would suggest not worrying about the scale but adding some weight training and get theses muscles to pop, that's way sexier than a skinny girl....
Good luck with your decisions.0 -
Thank you everyone, I cannot tell you how helpful you ALL are!!0
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Happy to help, you're a beautiful girl don't let the haters hate.0
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In my opinion you should continue to focus on being healthy, not necessarily losing weight.
I am 5'5", and would kill to be 145. You're a curvy young lady, but I don't think that you should feel self conscious because of that. Curve are VERY feminine and you should embrace them. You've already dropped 20 pounds, and there is no reason to force yourself to be unnaturally/unusually thin. You mentioned that you are still a teenager. Your body is going to continue to shift and change for a few more years as it continues to mature. I understand wanting to be comfortable in your own skin, but I do not see a need to make a mountain out of a mole hill at this point. Stay active, maintain a comfortable weight, but don't make weight loss your goal.0 -
I am a teenager who is 145 lb at 5'9.5. I have a lot of friends who are like 120 pounds and it makes me feel depressed/sad because I know I will never weigh that little.
I wear a size 4 dress, small to medium top (I have a larger bust so I usually have to go up a size in shirts just for that reason alone) and a size 7-8 in jeans/shorts, I carry a lot of weight in my hips and rear end and the top/back of my thighs otherwise my legs are slim. My stomach is usually quite flat as I drink plenty of water and eat low carb (I have a carb intolerance but also don't like bread, rice, pasta much anyways) but the number really bugs me. I feel unattractive to men at 145 pounds. At my highest I was 165 lb but lost the weight as I have matured (I think it was more puppy fat/baby fat. My doctor is not concerned) I just don't feel very feminine like petite and dainty at my height and especially my weight. I have long legs and arms and I feel like a man.
The current guy interested in me is very open about his weight of 195 lb at 6'0 (he is an athlete so he carries a lot of muscle, you would have no idea he actually weighs close to 200 pounds) but I have been shutting him down and denying him access to me emotionally because I feel as though he deserves a petite, dainty girl which I am not.
I feel stuck and like I am closing doors because of my weight.
And at 145 for a women that's 5'9", there's nothing wrong with that. And for the record, plenty of men like taller women, including myself.0 -
Don't worry about a number on the scale. You're tall. Your friends are probably a good bit shorter than you, and I'm sure some of them would trade places because they've always wanted to be tall.
I will tell you what I would tell my niece or daughters. You're a beautiful young lady. You have nothing to worry about. Just be you and work to better yourself. Don't compare yourself to others.0 -
No.0
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To me, the number on the scale is only a guideline. To be adhered to 100% only if there is a medical issue. There's a big difference between weighing 145lb and having 25% body fat and weighing 155lb and having 13% body fat. One might weigh less but the other looks a whole lot better It seems to me that yours is more a self esteem issue than a weight issue. From a mans perspective, I wouldn't be courting you (or any woman) that I didn't find attractive which obviously your suitor does. We all deserve to be with someone that finds us attractive and that we in turn are attracted to. Good luck!!0
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I know the feeling of "everything would be so much different if I were different. Since age 11, I've hated my body. I've been thick and I've been thin but the self-loathing has remained. I don't even know why anymore but am afraid at age 60 I'm beyond fixing the self-image issue. Don't be like me! Realize that the problem isn't your weight or height, it's how you see yourself. Fix that.
Plus your weight is fine for your height. Learn to carry yourself with pride. Nutrition and exercise would be fine to focus on, but only to bring out the best in who you are and how you feel, not to totally change yourself. Find some awesome and accomplished tall women to relate to; don't look at the dainty girls.0 -
Wow, reading this brought back memories. I hit 5'8" with a size 11 shoe by 8th grade and was taller than most of the guys I went to school with. I never felt dainty either and still don't. I have curves and hips and strong thighs.
I think it's more of a mental thing than a weight thing. If you are strong and healthy, don't lose more weight but instead learn to love the body your are in. It's not small and dainty but it's beautiful and strong.
Find something to love about your body and focus on that while learning to love the whole picture. It's hard as a teen but gets easier as an adult.0 -
Hon, you're gorgeous, and no you're not "petite" at 5'9 but you look plenty dainty!
Don't shut down a guy because you're assuming what he should be into. ESPECIALLY when you really are way hotter than you're giving yourself credit for. I remember how that feels, and it sucks, but thats where self-confidence has to come in and say "Cut the crap, girl! You're hawt!"
And even if you do have some meat on your thighs, you should be strutting around like Beyonce or something because there's nothing to be ashamed of. I personally LOVE my thighs. Oh and I'm 1/2 a foot shorter than you and a couple pounds heavier. So seriously, quit being so hard on yourself or you're going to miss out on a lot of happiness.0 -
Build muscle, girl! In my opinion, judging from your photo, you do look very feminine and slender. Your height is, of course, not what I'd call "dainty," but more akin to a model stature. It's never fun being the odd-one out, but you can't compare your numbers to those of friends who are 5"3' - of course they carry less weight than you, because they are much smaller in height!
I think your weight for your height is perfect, and if for some reason you feel uncomfortable with your body, you might want to try going to the gym and toning. This is more for physical appearance rather than the number on the scale.
As for the boy - if he is interested in you, then he is, and he thinks you're beautiful just as you are. So if you're interested in him, too, then you should try to overcome this barrier you feel... in the words of Chbosky, "We accept the love we think we deserve."
You deserve to be happy!0 -
You are tall. You are not ever ever going to be small and dainty. You just aren't. You need to accept that. All women, all people are NOT the same. It would be boring if we were. It's okay to be "bigger" than the average female. That does not make you man-ish in any way. It just makes you bigger than the average female. (And honestly you really aren't that tall, I had a friend in college, female, 6'6")
And yes, 145lbs is perfectly healthy for your height. I am 5'8.75" (If we are getting so exact) and I currently weigh 155lbs and am perfectly healthy and atheistically pleasing to myself and my husband. I find it pretty awesome to be tall and big.
If a man is interested in you, he's interested in you! You don't get to decide what girl he "deserves" or should be with. He likes you. Let him like you.0 -
Posting for the first time to say that I was in the same boat as a teenager - 5'10" and always in a range of 145 to 160 lbs. I always had shorter friends and they all weighed between 115 and 130. I always, always felt fat, despite being thin, but still curvy. Looking back, I realize I sold myself short a lot and I wish I had taken more chances that I didn't because I felt bad about my weight. (Also, I'm about 90 lbs heavier now at 34 years old and I am on the path to someday weighing 145 again!)
I hope you are able to realize that you are a perfect weight for your height, and that if the guy you're interested in keeps going after you, he likes YOU, not a shorter girl! As long as you are focused on your health, and taking care of your body, that's what is important.0 -
Losing weight shouldn't be your goal, you're definitely in the healthy range. Consider going to the gym to help build muscle and tone. I've never seen a woman who works out a lot and doesn't look amazing.
^^^^^ THIS!!0 -
I wish I could go back to high school for only one reason... to tell that person they are perfect the way they are. I am 5'7" and back then I weighed 120. I still felt awkward in my own skin. This is a normal feeling for girls your age, I hate to say. Now at 51, I am 135 lbs and I feel perfect at this weight, I was also at 145 lbs and felt perfect at that weight. Just focus on being healthy and joyful.
LOVE THE SKIN YOU'RE IN!!!!0 -
umm. looking at your profile pic you are very slim. you shouldnt wanna lose weight because others weigh less. 145 is just a number. and if he is chasing you then he wants you for you. what your doing is very unhealthy emotionally. you are tall slender and beautiful be proud of that and embrace it.0
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I am a teenager who is 145 lb at 5'9.5. I have a lot of friends who are like 120 pounds and it makes me feel depressed/sad because I know I will never weigh that little.
I wear a size 4 dress, small to medium top (I have a larger bust so I usually have to go up a size in shirts just for that reason alone) and a size 7-8 in jeans/shorts, I carry a lot of weight in my hips and rear end and the top/back of my thighs otherwise my legs are slim. My stomach is usually quite flat as I drink plenty of water and eat low carb (I have a carb intolerance but also don't like bread, rice, pasta much anyways) but the number really bugs me. I feel unattractive to men at 145 pounds. At my highest I was 165 lb but lost the weight as I have matured (I think it was more puppy fat/baby fat. My doctor is not concerned) I just don't feel very feminine like petite and dainty at my height and especially my weight. I have long legs and arms and I feel like a man.
The current guy interested in me is very open about his weight of 195 lb at 6'0 (he is an athlete so he carries a lot of muscle, you would have no idea he actually weighs close to 200 pounds) but I have been shutting him down and denying him access to me emotionally because I feel as though he deserves a petite, dainty girl which I am not.
I feel stuck and like I am closing doors because of my weight.
Wow. It makes me so sad the number of young woman out there today that hate their bodies and have no self esteem.
YOU ARE NOT OVERWEIGHT. You are at a healthy weight and actually on the slim side. DO NOT compare yourself to others and learn to love who you are. You are on the path to developing an unhealthy relationship with food which in turn will effect other aspects of your life (such as the guy who digs you but you have your head stuck in your 'I'm too fat' world you can't see it). If you must - seek counseling!!
And further more - not all men like 'petite dainty girls'. So get that idea out of your head as well.0 -
O: you're sexy <.< I would kill to look like you, but my genetics would never let me.
you should just know that I am the same age as you, 6'0 tall and 347 pounds <.< you really shouldn't worry.
also weight doesnt actually matter you should actually focus on building muscle if you want to look leaner. if you go to the gym and work out you would look better, maybe gain some weight but muscle weight is 100x sexier than fat weight so it doesn't matter!0 -
I can relate, I'm 5'8". Look at the upside, you have long legs which alot of women will be jealous of
Also if you were to get to 125ish you'd look likely pretty boney and scrawney, try not to compare your weight number with shorter people.0 -
If the guy is interested in you now, then he likes you how you are. If he wanted a dainty girl thats what he would have gone for. Be confident in yourself and embrace your body. Confidence is sexy no matter what size you are. I learned the hard way, and if i could have a redo I would have loved myself alot more. Even now, with the extra weight I have put on, I attract alot more attention simply because I have learned to love myself and let my confidence show.0
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You should never concern yourself with others and what standards they want for you. You are at a great weight; do not let yourself get caught up in that whole I have to be bone skinny to look good that will just lead you to a lifetime with an ED. I think most guys prefer a woman with curves over a stick figure, I know this one does.
Just learn to love yourself for the way you are and let others take are leave you for that.0 -
Tall Girl Opinion (Age 35 now, but was a teen years ago)
You are beautiful at 145, I'm sure! I was 5'9 in HS and was 122lbs when I graduated as a senior. IMPORTANT NOTE: I was a 32A (tiny bust). I was did not like my size and always felt tall and skinny. I played volleyball and basketball and ate plenty, but remained skinny with a butt. In college I graduated at 22yrs old at 5'11 at 129lbs (Yes you can keep growing after age 18, I did not stop growing until I was 21). Still felt like I was too thin. My doctor like yours said I was fine, did not need to gain weight or lose weight. Note 129lbs is under normal BMI, but she never left me think I was underweight. She said this because we are all proportioned differently. (I did not have much chest, but I had a nice size butt) Seems like us tall girls get butts :-)
I am now 35yrs old, 5'11 and 148lbs and trying to get to 143lbs (my wedding day weight) but also with toning/muscles. Again, I still have no chest :-). I think you at 145 is beautiful and you stated you had a larger chest. IF I HAD any boobs I'm sure I would be happy at 155-160. Your weight could be in your chest and butt (and women like me dream of those top curves in the bust area). I don’t even no how much boobs weigh each, as mine are tiny. I'm sure you should get at least 3-5lbs per breast. But I don’t know. I can only dream of them. My husband told me his father always told him "Sometimes" good things come in small packages. My husband was referring to my breast. I quote "sometimes" because we are all overly blessed in certain areas and that is a blessing. Though I was not overly blessed in my breast, they are still a good thing.
Basically, I want to encourage you to just stay active at such a young age. Also I believe I didn’t gain much weight in college because I was active, walking everywhere, riding my bike, dancing/partying etc.... So I added close to 20lbs from less activity and life changes.
I wish you the best and you look back in that mirror and see the beautiful young woman you are!0
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