I lost some weight.

Posts: 500 Member
edited February 22 in Success Stories
Let me just say that losing weight really is easy once you find the right thing to do. Last year I was sad, frumpy, lump, and rather bumpy and kind feeling like forest gumpy...life is like a box of chocolates...well except I ate all of them.

Fast forward a month when at the weight of 211 which is approximately the same weight as 1 billion caterpillars, I discovered the whale semen diet. That lasted about a week and I didn't lose anything but almost lost my marriage over that. He was certain I would be having Free Willy's love child, fish, mammal, oh whatever.

Next came the zombie snail diet. For the low low price of $19.99 a month, you will receive a package of fresh zombie snails. You put them on the fatty areas and the slime gets rid of the fat. Simple.

That didn't go over well and nearly lost a leg and my marriage when I slide out the front door nude into the mail man. I suppose you do need wash the snail slime off before running down the stairs to answer the door.

A friend mentioned that exercise would certainly help but who on earth wants to sweat and actually move around more than is necessary. Why do you think dishwashers, drive through ATMs, fast food, and fat jiggling machines were invented?

So I try the left right visualization program. What you do is lie down and imagine your feet moving left and right. Yes, walking without actually walking. It seems to be going ok until I started dreaming about walking in my sleep and ended sleep walking naked to the police station. They weren't amused. A night in the poky and my wallet was also a bit lighter.

So somehow I managed to lose this weight. It remains a mystery to those around me. Some say it was a weight loss spell, some say it was super lipo, but really it turned out to be stop shovelling food in my mouth, you know don't put so much in the feed bag... and exercise.

Here are the results.

before_zps3532ea25.jpg
after_zpsd4de7854.jpg

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Replies

  • Posts: 19 Member
    Congrat! You look AMAZING, sexy funny Momma!!!!
  • Posts: 43 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :la
  • Posts: 43 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    How much does laughing count as exercise??

    You done good :flowerforyou:
  • Posts: 244 Member
    Haha! Great read :)

    Also, well done!
  • Posts: 37 Member
    You look very beautiful, congrats!
  • Posts: 1,108 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Got it in one - Eat less - move more - 'simple' - not necessarily easy but certainly simple - and saves £££ compared with other diets - good, because money needed for the necessary new clothes.

    Congratulations on a fantastic achievement and a great sense of humour :flowerforyou:
  • Posts: 1,395 Member
    Great post, you look fantastic!
  • Posts: 1,566 Member
    Great job! Congrats on your loss you look awesome!
  • Posts: 1,163 Member
    Let me just say that losing weight really is easy once you find the right thing to do. Last year I was sad, frumpy, lump, and rather bumpy and kind feeling like forest gumpy...life is like a box of chocolates...well except I ate all of them.

    Fast forward a month when at the weight of 211 which is approximately the same weight as 1 billion caterpillars, I discovered the whale semen diet. That lasted about a week and I didn't lose anything but almost lost my marriage over that. He was certain I would be having Free Willy's love child, fish, mammal, oh whatever.

    Next came the zombie snail diet. For the low low price of $19.99 a month, you will receive a package of fresh zombie snails. You put them on the fatty areas and the slime gets rid of the fat. Simple.

    That didn't go over well and nearly lost a leg and my marriage when I slide out the front door nude into the mail man. I suppose you do need wash the snail slime off before running down the stairs to answer the door.

    A friend mentioned that exercise would certainly help but who on earth wants to sweat and actually move around more than is necessary. Why do you think dishwashers, drive through ATMs, fast food, and fat jiggling machines were invented?

    So I try the left right visualization program. What you do is lie down and imagine your feet moving left and right. Yes, walking without actually walking. It seems to be going ok until I started dreaming about walking in my sleep and ended sleep walking naked to the police station. They weren't amused. A night in the poky and my wallet was also a bit lighter.

    So somehow I managed to lose this weight. It remains a mystery to those around me. Some say it was a weight loss spell, some say it was super lipo, but really it turned out to be stop shovelling food in my mouth, you know don't put so much in the feed bag... and exercise.

    Here are the results.

    before_zps3532ea25.jpg
    after_zpsd4de7854.jpg

    Marry me.
  • Posts: 159 Member
    WOW! that looks like two different people ...congrats! im a little suspicious however
  • Posts: 20,316 MFP Moderator
    Thanks for my morning laugh. I have a 'breakfast' with some friends of mine I haven't seen in a while this morning, so I'm going to tell them I ordered zombie snails off the internet if the weightloss subject gets brought up. LOL!

    And you look absolutely freaking amazingly super fantastic, lady. Way to go. :)
  • Posts: 470 Member
    You look fabulous! Thanks for posting and the laugh.
  • Posts: 103 Member
    wow you look so amazing....had me cracking up about the whale sperms lol...wonderful progress
  • Posts: 454 Member
    Just amazing! and I love how you told us how you got there!
  • Posts: 1,549 Member
    That is awesome. Congrats! :flowerforyou:
  • Posts: 219 Member
    Awesome! Way to go!!
  • Posts: 291 Member
    Your post is awesome! And congrats on your acheiving your goals! I'm still chuckling... :laugh:
  • Posts: 5,304 Member
    tumblr_m5grlm3u5K1qcs0tn.gif
  • Posts: 110 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Got it in one - Eat less - move more - 'simple' - not necessarily easy but certainly simple - and saves £££ compared with other diets - good, because money needed for the necessary new clothes.

    Congratulations on a fantastic achievement and a great sense of humour :flowerforyou:

    ^ THIS
  • Posts: 494 Member
    Absolutely fabulous and just what I needed to read right now :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • Posts: 191 Member
    YOU ARE HILARIOUS! Awesome success and transformation. You look phenominal! Great Job!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Posts: 22,281 Member
    OMG best success pics evah!!!!!!!1111 congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
  • Posts: 500 Member
    Thank you everyone for all your kind messages.
  • Posts: 500 Member
    maybe I need to post some sleazy photos to get 10000000 likes on here. Oh wait this isn't facebook. :D
  • Posts: 689 Member
    Congratulations on your success :flowerforyou:
  • Posts: 204 Member
    Epic post combined with epic success. Congrats!!!!
  • Posts: 1,349 Member
    Wow! That is fabulous:)
  • Posts: 1
    great sense of humor. Just started on this application. I am feeling much better and more energized. I must say though I am not eating alot and have been running everyday for the past three weeks, I am not sure why I haven't lost anything?
    Question to all of you pros: why I haven't lost anything?
  • Posts: 12,942 Member
    Congrats, you look wonderful!
  • Posts: 1,363 Member
    Good job!
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