Family not being encouraging!

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RToland45
RToland45 Posts: 57 Member
in Food and Nutrition
How do you get family to support you???
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  • nicolemontagna22
    nicolemontagna22 Posts: 229 Member
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    You gotta continue to emphasize to them why you want this an how important it is to you!
  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
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    Sometimes you just got to focus on you and not mind anyone, family or friends, that do not support you.
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,280 Member
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    I really didn't make a big deal about it. This is my journey and not theirs.
  • KayJaMikel
    KayJaMikel Posts: 341 Member
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    I get same thing. I have heard why are you on this stupid diet. Hubs tonight told me I was taking it too far because I printed a picture of a dressing I wanted him to buy at store. He does most of shopping. We have 1 car and he usually picks up what we need on way home from work, but tomorrow he is going camping with the boys this weekend, so I will be car-less so made a list of stuff I wanted for weekend. Of course, he didn't find it and bought me LIGHT ranch, which is really don't like but is okay as long as I just dip into it. My daughter says I am too old to diet and care about how fat I am.

    I have to explain everything, why I want it, etc. Even something as simple as bottled water. I just ordered online my diet shakes, four 6 packs, so they will last a little bit, and won't have to ask him to pick them up. I ordered a scale online so I don’t have to ask him to pick it up, but cannot really order food online. Wish I could thou…

    It is just one big pain in the *kitten* and am really feeling defeated sometimes, but am so happy with how I am doing calorie-wise and not being starving 24/7. When the scale comes, we shall see where I am in weight.
  • bexcobham
    bexcobham Posts: 107
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    Just don't tell them you're dieting and just carry on. If they are being unsupportive, you just need to be single minded and focus on your goal. Don't discuss it with them, just be firm, but not rude. You need to be stubborn and if they don't like it, they can jog on.

    This is what I'm doing btw.

    Them "Have a slice of cake."

    Me "No thanks, I'm not in the mood."

    Them "But we're all having some."

    Me "That's great, but I'm fine without any, thanks."

    Them "But I bought/made it specially."

    Me "Well, that's great becuase there's more for everyone else."

    Then ignore, ignore, ignore. :)

    Stock up on the food you need. You don't have to justify yourself and it's easier if you don't.
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
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    Support is great, but this is often a lonely journey.

    That's why we have MFP :flowerforyou:
  • wannakimmy
    wannakimmy Posts: 488 Member
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    They will either support you or not. Either way, keep doing what you need to do for yourself.
  • bexcobham
    bexcobham Posts: 107
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    We'll support you. :)

    Just have a vent if things are getting to you. Stay strong.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    TBH, they're not necessarily obligated to. If you're going to succeed, you need to be able to do it no matter what is going on around you. *shrug* Hard truth, but still true. When I first started losing weight, no one around me was trying to, and I didn't expect anybody to change what they were doing. It's really not fair to expect them to change, just because you are.
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
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    How do you get family to support you???

    You cannot make then support you.

    As the saying goes, you can pick your friends not your family! Surround yourself by those who support you and ignore those who do not. Explain to them that you do not need their support but you do want them to stop pushing food on you. That's all you can ask. Then when the continue yell at them and say "I only asked on thing from you! Why don't you love me enough to honor this one thing?" <~~~maybe a bit extreme, ha. But that's how I handle my family.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • kdklein23
    kdklein23 Posts: 1 Member
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    It will be harder, but you can do it. Be discreet about the calorie counting. Your family may well feel guilty for not joining you. Give out compliments to your family for things that matter to them, and then ask for a little support about what matters to you-your health and or success each day. Isn't it great we have each other here?
  • bexcobham
    bexcobham Posts: 107
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    Does anyone else find that friends and family almost seem to get offended when you don't want to eat the same unhealthy food as them?

    Also, people always seem to want to force food on people who are on diets, but then when you have that one bit of cake you also get remarks.

    People are funny.
  • Frayde
    Frayde Posts: 321 Member
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    Take it where you can get it. If you only get it from your MFP buddies, gobble it up from us. I'll cheer you on!!!

    It can be frustrating, I know. My mother says in one breath how much better I look and in the next, "Have a piece of pie, here I put some ice cream with it just for you." I say, "No thank you, I'm full." So my skinny butt husband eats it for me; I think he's eating it just to try to get Mom to leave me alone. So that's weird support, but support in it's own way.

    But like many journeys in life, this is a lonely journey. Unless someone else in your family wants to lose weight also, they can't really get it. Many may sabotage it-some intentionally, some unintentionally. But wouldn't you rather be on this lonely journey than on the lonely journey that comes from having an early heart attack or stroke from being overweight?

    In any event, I will be pleased to be part of your support system if you'd like to friend me!
  • Dragonborn79
    Dragonborn79 Posts: 161
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    I fought with my boyfriend for years to eat healthier. I would periodically try to eat better, but his lack of support was incredibly discouraging. He would like, go overboard with HIS eating in order to protest. He would keep a ton of junk food around and would get angry when I would ask him to keep it up where I wasn't having to look at it all the time. He would also get angry if I asked him to go into the other room so I could work out. It was weird.

    It wasn't until he was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in November that I was able to get us on track. I went in and talked to his doctor with him and he told me that he sees it all the time in couples. That made me feel a little better. Since the diagnosis my boyfriend has been very good about our new eating habits, but it still kind of pisses me off because he's losing weight so much faster than I am! haha

    Family CAN derail weight loss efforts. I've been there. It sucks and I sympathize with your situation. Fortunately the internet is a thing and we can support you! ;)
  • mfp2014mfp
    mfp2014mfp Posts: 689 Member
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    I don't ask for their support, no one can do this for me, except me.
    Sure it's nice if it happens, but if not, it's no big deal, it wont be what makes or breaks my journey.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    I fought with my boyfriend for years to eat healthier. I would periodically try to eat better, but his lack of support was incredibly discouraging. He would like, go overboard with HIS eating in order to protest. He would keep a ton of junk food around and would get angry when I would ask him to keep it up where I wasn't having to look at it all the time. He would also get angry if I asked him to go into the other room so I could work out. It was weird.

    It wasn't until he was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in November that I was able to get us on track. I went in and talked to his doctor with him and he told me that he sees it all the time in couples. That made me feel a little better. Since the diagnosis my boyfriend has been very good about our new eating habits, but it still kind of pisses me off because he's losing weight so much faster than I am! haha

    Family CAN derail weight loss efforts. I've been there. It sucks and I sympathize with your situation. Fortunately the internet is a thing and we can support you! ;)

    no family cannot derail weight loss efforts that is all on the person trying to lose weight.

    Fighting with family to get on board is awful...they are mostly adults and why force what you want on them?

    I live in a house with two men...son and husband...I do not force anything on them. I ask them what they want for supper and usually get I don't care ...if my husband cooks I eat it...

    To the OP you can't force support, you can't force your beliefs, you can't force an adult to do anything they don't want to do.

    If you require support remember you can't get from someone what you wont give yourself.

    ETA: can't remember crap.
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Does anyone else find that friends and family almost seem to get offended when you don't want to eat the same unhealthy food as them?

    Also, people always seem to want to force food on people who are on diets, but then when you have that one bit of cake you also get remarks.

    People are funny.

    I think it is funny when the person on the diet comes here and complains about their friends and family not supporting them because they still eat other foods that someone has cut out or offers them a donut. Really, it goes both ways. As I said before, this is MY journey and no one elses. I don't get pissy if someone offers me "bad" food (though I also am 100% against cutting anything I love out of my overall diet for the rest of my life) or that someone eats a piece of cake in front of me.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    How do you get family to support you???

    You don't. You support yourself or you'll never get there. DON'T expect them to change with you. If they do, great but they have to decide that on their own.

    Just because you made a sudden change to your lifestyle does not mean they are or ever will be in the same place mentally to follow in your footsteps.
  • spicegeek
    spicegeek Posts: 325 Member
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    you can`t they either support you or they do not. Same with friends.

    you have to be your own support system at first and them find new people to support you

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