Family not being encouraging!

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  • RunnerStephe
    RunnerStephe Posts: 2,195
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    Sometimes you just got to focus on you and not mind anyone, family or friends, that do not support you.

    Do it for you, and once they see you change, they will take notice.
  • Velvetgamer
    Velvetgamer Posts: 5
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    Once a week my friends and I have a big homemade dinner together, and someone always makes a really fatty dessert. My general is rule is eat a small portion of our meal and a bite of dessert. If I can't take a bite of it, I tell them I'm full. I don't think I've ever outright told them I'm on a diet. They know I'm building muscle and getting ready to start classes to become a yoga instructor, so they never say anything negative. But then again I never say anything negative about the food.

    It's just like what's been said. I have a workout buddy, my best friend is trying to lose 40lbs this year (she's lost 16 already!), but besides those two and all my lovely friends from the gym, I don't really involve other people. It's hard when they make peanut butter brownies, but it's not a personal attack on me. Maybe it's because I don't talk much about dieting or insinuate that they're food is unhealthy. Seriously, sometimes telling that the food their eating is unhealthy makes them feel as if you think they're fat.

    I just do my own thing, and if they want to talk about health and fitness, that's great! If they don't, then I have friends at the gym who will talk about healthy snacks all day :)
  • DMadelineP
    DMadelineP Posts: 50 Member
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    You can't count on them to be supportive or encouraging. It's not even their obligation, really. You just gotta do this for you and try hard to keep up the pace you've set for yourself. You can't change the way the family eats because you yourself want to lose weight.
    I know how you feel. I have a very pushy, controlling family with bad eating habits, and misery loves company. I literally get scolded for not eating bread and pasta together at every meal, the cooking is full of carbs and oil. The kitchen is full of cookies, chocolate, doughnuts, cakes, bagels, chips, cupcakes, candy bars, nutella, croissants, ANYTHING you can possibly imagine. The fridge is full of deserts, (crepes, pancakes, scones, breakfast rolls, cinnamon buns, bagels, bacon).... They'll order fast food around 11 pm and the smell enters my room and is just so tempting.

    But you know what, I've lost a couple of pounds lateley and it's starting to show. One by one, they're coming to my side because they can see the results of simply eating a lot of low calorie intense foods when I'm hungry, and neither denying myself anything nor stuffing myself with food.

    You're digging a new path on unchartered land and no one said it's be easy, but it's gonna be worth it. When they see the results of a healthier, happier you- they'll support, encourage, and be inspired.
  • fooninie
    fooninie Posts: 291 Member
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    IMO, you can't. They can choose to be supporting or they can choose not to, but you cannot make them be anything. That said, keep rocking it out and let your success do the talking for you. At the end of the day, it's your success, your journey. Hang in there, MFP is a great place to get support and share successes.
  • iPlatano
    iPlatano Posts: 487 Member
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    Do your thing regardless!
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
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    You don't? Lol, I don't know.

    My mom keeps buying me cookies and junk food even though I keep asking her not to. I lost my mind the last time and she got offended, but I think I got my point across.

    I'm not letting them get to me anymore because I'm doing this for me and I don't care what others think. I am not being unhealthy or harming myself, so I'm doing my thing.
  • Ldbg289
    Ldbg289 Posts: 236 Member
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    I run into the same problems. Although my mom tries to be supportive in this I have my dad asking me when am I done(translation: when am I going back to what used to be normal eating for me). Oh and I've also got the "one bite won't hurt". They don't realize I've worked my *kitten* off to get where I am today. And that it's not just something I'm doing for now, until I get bored.
  • tuckeychicken
    tuckeychicken Posts: 167 Member
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    Tell them what your plan is and how you need them to help you with their support. Let them know some examples of what they can do for you. Tell them what kind of support that you need from them so they know how to play an efective role in your healthy weight success. Sometimes they might need a gentle reminding when they do or say things that don't help, but in fact may hurt, and thank them when they do encourage you and it will probably encourage them to keep up with the support.

    My husband likes to be polite and ask me several times if I'm sure I don't want more and I try to remind him that I am trying to control my portions and that I am full. I ask him to not do that so I don't cave in and over eat.

    Hope this comment helps and best wishes.
  • raindawg
    raindawg Posts: 348 Member
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    How do you get family to support you???

    Yes, it can be difficult OP. It definitely annoys my wife. For example my wife and kids will be eating their dinner and I'll be having something completely different. She's a trooper though because she makes both. At my boys birthday party everyone was eating pizza, even the adults, and I was having my sandwich that I had brought. I knew one piece of pizza wouldn't have been enough.

    I just am confident that this is for me, and there is a bit of a price to pay for it so it slides off me when my wife or family makes comments.
  • Ldbg289
    Ldbg289 Posts: 236 Member
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    You don't? Lol, I don't know.

    My mom keeps buying me cookies and junk food even though I keep asking her not to. I lost my mind the last time and she got offended, but I think I got my point across.

    I'm not letting them get to me anymore because I'm doing this for me and I don't care what others think. I am not being unhealthy or harming myself, so I'm doing my thing.

    I run into this a lot too, maybe not always cookies but whatever they buy for me they get offended if I say I can't eat it. And on the other side, they(well, mostly my dad)get mad if I ask them not to eat something I've bought specifically for me. Oh and they used to get pissed if we went to BK and I said I wasn't eating it...until I blew up at my mom and laid it all out for her.
  • amaysngrace
    amaysngrace Posts: 742 Member
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    I never said a word to my family about my weight loss journey, I just started to do it by myself and once they seen me drop 20 pounds, then they started inquiring about what I was doing. Eventually, just leading by example, will get people to start supporting you and wanting to know what it is you are doing. My bf decided that he wanted to start logging what he eats daily just by watching me do it every morning. So, things like that tend to inspire people, more so than you just speaking to them about what your plans are.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I( can't believe it took over half the page-

    You can't make anyone do anything.

    You can shame them and hope it helps - most likely they'll just resent you.

    Just stick to your guns and tell them you're a grown *kitten* adult who can do what you want- and what you put in your mouth is your business.
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
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    You don't? Lol, I don't know.

    My mom keeps buying me cookies and junk food even though I keep asking her not to. I lost my mind the last time and she got offended, but I think I got my point across.

    I'm not letting them get to me anymore because I'm doing this for me and I don't care what others think. I am not being unhealthy or harming myself, so I'm doing my thing.

    I run into this a lot too, maybe not always cookies but whatever they buy for me they get offended if I say I can't eat it. And on the other side, they(well, mostly my dad)get mad if I ask them not to eat something I've bought specifically for me. Oh and they used to get pissed if we went to BK and I said I wasn't eating it...until I blew up at my mom and laid it all out for her.

    Sometimes that's what it takes!! My mom also doesn't understand that I have stopped drinking even diet soda and gets upset that she has to "drink a whole 12 pack herself." Well... I'm serious this time. She made fun of my lunch a bit today. I had two slices of cheese and rolled up turkey and mustard inside and had an apple. Apparently without bread, I'm not eating. :grumble:
  • tuckeychicken
    tuckeychicken Posts: 167 Member
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    Good for you for sticking to your guns on this one. I have the same problem with my family and I know it's because they are not ready to do the same. Some people don't mean harm, but can't help but want to have support and join them in not trying. I have had people try to tell me what won't hurt me and I tell them This is what I'm doing and I don't agree I'm trying to remain strong here and I don't need anyone to help me to sabatoge my hard work.

    Stay strong you are doing the right thing for you. Remind them that you haven't expected them to make chang and they shouldn't expect you not to, because if they don't want to make the same healthy choices that's their perogative, however it is your perogative to do what you have been doing. You know what one more bite will do to you more than they do and you should make sure they know that you know they don't mean any harm, but you know when enough is enough for you and you see no reason to over stuff.

    I wish all the best and thank you for your inspiration.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
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    you don't, I say *kitten*'em! My family has never been supportive, but sadly due to financial struggles my husband and I share a house with my parents. My mom is a third generation baker, and there is always cookies, brownies, cake, pie, etc in the house. I do eat a little bit of, but my mom is saying stuff like, "Oh there's plenty more in the kitchen" it just get annoying. My dad is retired military and has always been fit and healthy. So he used to tell me to be more active, before I started my journey. Then after I started loosing weight, he'd tell I wasn't loosing fast enough. Now I weigh less than both my parents and I get told to knock it off I'm making them look bad and that I can't weigh less than them. So I'm just like whatever, ignore them the best I can and go about my business.

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