DIVORCE IS FINALIZED YAY!

sweetestthing
sweetestthing Posts: 102
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
SO finally my divorced is finalized after 8 months! I am feeling so motivated and I really want to thank all my support on MFP. My biggest motivation is to see him one day and shock the hell out of him with the new me!!! I know that is not a good reason, but it is mine. He cheated on me and told me one of the main reasons was my weight. but I do thank him because now I have motivation to take care of myself!
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Replies

  • carina73
    carina73 Posts: 270 Member
    awesome! Don't look back! *hugs*
  • hotpickles
    hotpickles Posts: 639 Member
    Atta girl, keep your head up and keep going! You are awesome!

    L.
  • T0RIEELIZABETH
    T0RIEELIZABETH Posts: 376
    I think that shocking him is GREAT motivation :)
  • kristinlough
    kristinlough Posts: 828 Member
    I say get motivation from anyplace you can find it! Trust me, I have mine, too :wink: Congratulations! And you'll find such a great set of friends here at MFP. We all want the best for you!!
  • AmberElaine84
    AmberElaine84 Posts: 964 Member
    Now THAT is the attitude to come into this with!!! WAY to keep your head held high!! Good luck with your journey, we are all here for you!!! :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • tvanderberg
    tvanderberg Posts: 59
    In all that you do, do it for you because real happiness and peace starts from within!
  • enygmatic1
    enygmatic1 Posts: 44 Member
    As someone that got divorced when she was chunky and then blew up because of depression let me commend you on totally taking the other approach. Bravo! You can do it!!
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    You are AWESOME! My divorce should be finalized on 2/3 *fingers crossed*. Weight was a factor in mine as well....and so was the cheating! Some men out there are scum...we just learn and move on.
  • scrappymel
    scrappymel Posts: 107 Member
    oh, sweetie. he cheated because he has a personality flaw. it has nothing to do with you! good luck on your journey!
  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
    My ex and I both lost a bunch of weight after we broke up. She looks like a stick and as though she never eats ... which I think is the case ... I'm still a little doughy, but thanks to tons of bicycling and walking, not QUITE so doughy :)

    So congrats. It sucks that you had to get that kind of motivation, but if it's utilized right, it's the most driving.
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
    congrats and motivation from anything is good. You will do great. Friend me if you need some encouragement.
  • ❤B☩❤
    ❤B☩❤ Posts: 634
    Congrats and as another poster said, use whatever motivation you need to get the job done!
  • bparr
    bparr Posts: 246 Member
    Nothing taste as good as thin feels-- nor the feeling you'll have when you look so hot that he wants you back BUT Can't Have You!
  • sweetestthing
    sweetestthing Posts: 102
    Thank you everyone!!! best best advice and motivation!!!
  • nursevee
    nursevee Posts: 344 Member
    Fabulous news! Throw a party for sure! You deserve to feel good about yourself and I'm glad you're doing this for you. I wish the divorce i'm involved with would just hurry up and get done. Ugh. They're so annoying.
  • FunkBunny
    FunkBunny Posts: 417 Member
    Been through that myself, sweetie. i know how it is. But as another poster said, it's not you (and never was), it's his own selfish personality.

    Congrats on being finalized! Look forward to a bright future without his cheating *kitten* weighing you down!
  • amymt10
    amymt10 Posts: 271 Member
    After my separation 11 years ago I lost 4 sizes by the time we showed up for court for the divorce. Needless to say he was staring, felt great to show off what I had done and let him know I look great and he cant have it!!!
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    My motivation is similar to yours (as was my situation) - I have two months to get down 15lbs - then another five after that. But yeah girl, mine is an "IN YOUR FACE" kinda one too... ;) Hey whatever works, right? Sexy, smart, and funny - can't replace that.
  • sweetiekayk
    sweetiekayk Posts: 84
    My ex cheated on me too. Not because of the weight.....nope, I just wasn't slutty enough for him. Guess that explains his new ex girlfriend.
    I must admit it will feel great to lose weight and have him stare.

    Congratulations on your divorce!

    Here's to our ex's for making us better (looking) people! :drinker:
    Their loss. Our motivation.
  • Triquetra
    Triquetra Posts: 270 Member
    My divorce finalized in the fall and I was cheated on as well after 15 years of marriage:grumble: , however it was with a girl BIGGER than me, and over the internet in another country:noway: !!! I want to lose the weight to be healthier to look after my kids and I also want his family/friends to be the ones to see me and say "he gave her up for THAT (the new gf):laugh: "....revenge is a great motive for the newly divorced.....I also threw myself a "Divorce Party" and it was a great time and a great start to the new me
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
    Congrats! That means you have lost a good 170-200 pounds of @ss! :drinker:
  • bluebeta
    bluebeta Posts: 48
    congrats ,now more time for yourself , throw yourself a party.:happy:
  • carina73
    carina73 Posts: 270 Member
    Congrats! That means you have lost a good 170-200 pounds of @ss! :drinker:
    that's what I was thinking and couldn't put it into the right words! :happy:
  • jerseygirl777
    jerseygirl777 Posts: 148
    Congrats! Any motivation is still motivation :smile:
  • anovasjo
    anovasjo Posts: 382 Member
    You're better off without him, and you can prove it with your new, healthy body. Congratulations and good luck!!!
  • edinphx
    edinphx Posts: 135 Member
    **waits to get killed for this reply but**

    Why do people decide to look more "attractive" to their husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend after they break up?
    My wife and I have been married 29 years and we both are trying to become more healthy for ourselves and each other.

    Ed
  • goaliema
    goaliema Posts: 150 Member
    Okay our darling Ed mfp friend..lol (don't worry... I didn't aim and fire!!...lol)

    First off...congrats on being married for 29 years. That is certainly an accomplishment.(and I most certainly say that with high respect) I think it is great that you and your wife are becoming more active together. Marriage can be a wonderful commitment.

    I am a strong believer that you should never step out of your marriage and certainly never into someone elses! AND revenge can be harmless and sweet!! lolol read on! But it shouldn't control you and the journey as you move forward in life!

    I know that I am not alone when I say "over the years..I forgot about me" ! As I was busy being the best mom and wife that I could be.. I put me on the back burner. It is sad but too often in a marriage..your partner begins to also put "you" on the back burner as they stroll over yonder to the famous territory of "greener grass". Experiencing a loss of a marriage or relationship is hard..and especially if it was fuelled by betrayal. A failed marriage does make you look at yourself inside out. In doing this, you do alot of soul searching and at some point find "you" again. Someone your former spouse didn't care to help uncover or even realize that you were MIA. And that they too let you slip away over the years as well. Whether male or female there comes a point in our lives when we realize that enough is enough and only we can change ourselves but we must want it! You want to be that yummy mommy again or a dang good looking daddy again. And in order for many of us to feel yummy or sexy again..we need to get the weight off for us!!!. So for some...if it is fuelled by harmless revenge ...let it.. Let it be sweet and in most cases.. if they are still nibbling on greener grass..they are probably too busy to notice..lol And hopefully someone else will notice the ****whole package..inside and out.*** And keep you more active(heee heee..burn calories...burn...lolol) But the key is not to let it control you!

    We all want to feel desireable...even if it is in revenge to say..."did it..done it and ain't doing it again."..ok....toooo funny!!!
    But seriously... Yes..it is unfortunate that it takes a loss of a relationship before we put our own health first. Lesson learnt here!
    So cheers to Ed/wife and their healthy lifestyle( yeah we know how you are getting your cardio in now Ed...lolol) and here's to the new "You" the new "me" and to what ever transpired the healthy change in all of us!

    Goaliema!
  • Billybobboy
    Billybobboy Posts: 11 Member
    First of all, recognize that he likely will be happy for you, but will not regret his decisions,... so you are, in reality, doing this for yourself, alone...., because you are worth the effort. The last thing you need to be doing now is ANYTHING that is in ANY way focused on HIM, or his potential reaction to your successful transformation.

    A word of caution, as well: you are losing an incredible amount of weight in what appears to be too short a time period.... Don't become manic about this, and try to limit yourself to 5-7 pounds lost per month, otherwise you risk becoming miserable because you are always hungry, and always exercising, and always tired. Life holds much more for you than self denial on a 24/7 scale.

    Lastly, buy yourself an expensive outfit that is a size 12 (or 10?)..... and hang it up in plain sight to remind you that if you don't stay with your program, you will have wasted a lot of money!
  • MeghanAM
    MeghanAM Posts: 222 Member
    Congratulations and good luck as you start your new life!
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    Mine will be finalized tomorrow! Yay!
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