I'm so addicted to food and I feel so alone! :(

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smashandrews
smashandrews Posts: 6
in Motivation and Support
I'm 23 years old and in the past 4 years I have been from 255lbs to 180lbs to 220lbs to 147lbs and now 244lbs! I'm so addicted to food and I feel so alone and out of control. No one understands how hard it is. I spend so much money on healthy foods and then I just end up going into debt buying junk food like pizza or McDonald's. I closet eat when my boyfriend is at work, I hate exercising and my family just tells me to suck it up. I just need a friend for support who understands and can help me. I don't have the money for a trainer or a nutritionist I tried that already and I do good for a week then go back to junk. I bought my first place on my own at 21 I live a pretty stressful life and I need help! Anyone out there with a big heart could really save me right now!
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Replies

  • RonnieLodge
    RonnieLodge Posts: 665 Member
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    Hey, you bought a place at 21 years old, why can't you be your own savior with a big heart?
  • smashandrews
    smashandrews Posts: 6
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    I wish I could. I feel like the Times I lost weight nothing could stop me and now I feel like nothing is motivating me enough to stay onboard.
  • allotmentgardener
    allotmentgardener Posts: 248 Member
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    Hi. Add me, I log daily and can give support. You've taken a big step by coming on this site. Start off by setting yourself a calorie limit and keep to it. You say you don't like exercise - that is very generic. What about walking around a park or even around where you live? Exercise doesn't have to involve going to a gym or such like if thats not your style.
  • smashandrews
    smashandrews Posts: 6
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    Well I shouldn't say I hate it because when I am smaller I don't mind it and I sometimes find myself lip singing when I do it. I like aerobics and I have an elliptical and a bike. Just being so heavy right now I don't want to do anything. I think the oonly thing that helps is I want to get married in the next couple years but not looking like this that's for sure....Have any good recipes for someone who grew up eating only corn and ceaser salad for vegetables. My house was always steak and potatoes growing up so I don't really like vegetables....
  • jsalzat
    jsalzat Posts: 225 Member
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    I still remember how scared and alone I felt when I began 3 months ago. I started a thread to keep me accountable to logging on every day and made lots of very supportive friends along the way. Though it seems sort of paradoxical, I didn't start making progress until my own progress wasn't as important to me as cheering on others who were on a similar path. Suddenly I found myself taking actions necessary that I couldn't do on my own. Logging in daily and logging food and exercise has now become a habit.
    I have had the most success by starting with something very small and committing to do it every day. I used to set myself for failure by expecting too much too fast. I wish you the best of luck on your fitness journey. Please feel free to add me as a friend if you like :flowerforyou:

    "If at first you don't succeed, make a pot of coffee :bigsmile: "
  • pizzafruit
    pizzafruit Posts: 317 Member
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    It's amazing how alone one can feel when fighting weight issues. Then we come to a wonderful web site like this we see pictures of participants looking pretty darn thin and healthy and that can be intimidating. We forget that everyone here started out fighting the same fight and many continue the journey to lose weight or maintain. I have been battling my weight and my own issues for many years. If I had a dollar for every time I've started and then gave up, I'd have lots of dollars. But we continue on, we forgive ourselves, we remind ourselves that we are not alone, and most importantly, we come here and are reminded that all is not lost. I wish you well. These message boards are a great source of support and valuable information. Please come back and let us know how you're doing. Feel free to send a friend request! :smile:
  • FireOpalCO
    FireOpalCO Posts: 641 Member
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    So here is a prying question. Are you in therapy?

    It sounds like you have a lot of stuff going on in your life and lack a good support system. There is support that we can provide here, but there are limitations. A regular session with a therapist to talk through issues can be a big help just by having a completely safe outlet where you can get feedback from someone trained (and not just spouting "well when I did X..."). Heck there were time when I was in therapy where I was just glad to have someone listen to me vent about the last week for an hour and he/she couldn't change the subject!

    PS. I know you said money was tight, but therapists can frequently be covered by health insurance.
  • dsb188
    dsb188 Posts: 121 Member
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    I know its hard but start small. Maybe you should start just logging whatever food you eat. Even if its junk food. Thats how started. Also at first just try to stay under your calories. You may also want to get to the root of why you over eat. For me I overate because I was board, or I was upset, or lonely. I started some new hobbies, started doing crafts etc.

    No one has to save you because you can save yourself and do it for you.
  • sarahjpow
    sarahjpow Posts: 2 Member
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    Hi I'm 29 and feel like I do the same things. Feel free to add me. No one on my friend list here logs daily like me or really cares enough to really try. Its not really helpful in the motivation dept.
  • dt3312
    dt3312 Posts: 212 Member
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    A book that helped me a lot with my eating is Breaking Free From Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth. Our local library has lots of copies. Or you can get it on Amazon. It has helped me not to binge eat. Example: Before--ate 1/2 bag of chocolate chips for "a little snack". Now-ate 2 chocolate chips and was satisfied.
  • lwestmill
    lwestmill Posts: 91 Member
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    You can add me if you want. I love food too. Its a hard battle to overcome.
    However, if you start noticing the Maintenance Community Board, those that finally make their weight, some are still frustrated because it never ends. You still have to continue to watch your calories and exercise. One girl said she was still unhappy, and it wasn't the food that was the problem. Yes, she felt better because she fit into her clothes but it was something missing and she was still depressed. I was in shock after I read that!

    I'll say one thing. Being on this site and talking it out with people who understand has done wonders for me. Yes, I too may have a problem of eating that I haven't solved yet but maybe I will find it someday reading other's examples.

    I think I am going to give the book that dt3312 was recommending, " Breaking Free From Emotional Eating" a look through. She may have some good advise there. We gotta start somewhere to find the answers to why we eat the way we do.

    Thank you for being so honest and posting. Good luck hun.
  • CrusaderSam
    CrusaderSam Posts: 180 Member
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    Step 1: Find low cal food you enjoy eating
    Step 2: Find exercise you enjoy doing
    Step 3: ?????????
    Step 4: Profit

    Oh we all get that feeling at some point. That we are alone and no one understands or at least I know I did, but feeling sorry for yourself isn't the answer. If I did know the answer I would be a very rich man, the only thing I do know is eating wont help the problem.
  • smashandrews
    smashandrews Posts: 6
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    Thanks everyone! I know once I get on board again and my self esteem starts to improveonce again it will get easier. like I said I'm just having troubles starting again. I love hearing encouragement from people that have been through similar situations because I have been thin before so I have the tools but need people for tips and to share stories and struggles with. I will definitely check out that book mentioned I am a person that gets inspired easy but doesn't stay on track. My best friend always says I'm very black or white I either go all out with things or don't try at all, that is probably why I gain and lose such a huge mass I go from starving to binge eating. I forget all the time I'm not the only one! Please keep posting I would love to make friends in the same kind of situation. :happy:

    Ps I know my story sounds like I'm feeling sorry to myself, but in all reality I am actually huge with my pride and am a very strong g person I guess I'm letting it out know because I found some people who may understand weight and health struggles
  • smashandrews
    smashandrews Posts: 6
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    Step 1: Find low cal food you enjoy eating
    Step 2: Find exercise you enjoy doing
    Step 3: ?????????
    Step 4: Profit

    Oh we all get that feeling at some point. That we are alone and no one understands or at least I know I did, but feeling sorry for yourself isn't the answer. If I did know the answer I would be a very rich man, the only thing I do know is eating wont help the problem.

    I don't feel sorry for myself I am very proud of who I am becoming. I just have one weakness and have the balls to ask for advice because my strength in this area lacks. When I lost alot of weight I was cocky too, good luck with that.
  • CrusaderSam
    CrusaderSam Posts: 180 Member
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    Oh I know I could regain all the weight, and fast too. Its good that you are taking the first steps but if you didn't feel shame you wouldn't be sneaking food. You have to toughen yourself up, because people suck and wont always be there for you. I was lucky I had real life friends helping me out but I also had more trying to hold me back. Someone random person on the internet was mean to you, what now? Go eat a pizza? Get your sht together, deal with it, with out using food and move on. I know its tough but sometimes we need it and its the best advice I can give.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    I'm 23 years old and in the past 4 years I have been from 255lbs to 180lbs to 220lbs to 147lbs and now 244lbs! I'm so addicted to food and I feel so alone and out of control. No one understands how hard it is. I spend so much money on healthy foods and then I just end up going into debt buying junk food like pizza or McDonald's. I closet eat when my boyfriend is at work, I hate exercising and my family just tells me to suck it up. I just need a friend for support who understands and can help me. I don't have the money for a trainer or a nutritionist I tried that already and I do good for a week then go back to junk. I bought my first place on my own at 21 I live a pretty stressful life and I need help! Anyone out there with a big heart could really save me right now!

    My dear you have an eating disorder - that doesn't mean anything major, it just means you have to go see the doctor and let him know about the closet eating and going into debt to buy junk food. You're having a personal crisis that is impacting on your eating. :) Don't worry too much but see what your doctor says, maybe counselling would help you unburden and release some stress.
  • leantool
    leantool Posts: 365 Member
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    Dear girl, you are not alone, there are more people than you think,who have abused food to numb emotional turmoils and ended up much heavier,yours truly included.you have recognized that you have a problem,which is really the first step. i think you need a therapist to sort out the emotional aspect of your problem.try and connect to overeaters anonymous, you may find that helpful.
    Log every morsel BEFORE you put it in your mouth,use the phone app if needed.seeing the calories mount up before your eyes may actually help.
    Take care and be happy.
  • txcraftr
    txcraftr Posts: 133 Member
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    Have you heard of the Food Addiction Diet? Look up KayShepard.com. Her eating plan stops the cravings. I have stayed on it for quite a while. I lost 30 pounds in 3 months and realized that I am sensitive to gluten and when I eat wheat bread I never feel satisfied. I could eat the whole loaf and then eat a whole cake. It is pretty easy to follow and as long as you eat everything you can eat you will be full and satisfied. Let me know if you want to try it. Her book "The First Bite" is very good.
  • zandma
    zandma Posts: 6 Member
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    Me too hun...I feel alot like you...if you need a friend im here....its tough...I know
  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
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    Wow, there is a lot going on here.... It is easy to give you the mechanical answer - log everything, eat at a calorie deficit, get some exercise but it sounds like you know all that already. It is also easy to say 'Someone upsets you: suck it up and resist that pizza', but doing that is a lot easier to say than do when you are battling with emotions.

    We have all ben there to one degree or another whether it is the chocolate covered biscuits sitting in the cupboard saying 'eat me eat me', or an emotional reaction to a need for help and understanding. Until you understand what is making you feel this way, it is going to be very hard to deal with it. It may be that you need some help in getting to the bottom of your issues, or maybe you can sit down with paper and a pen on a good day and work it out for yourself. Either way, you are not alone, it is not your fault, and there is a way forward.

    Some people use their wall as a sounding board to get things off their chest and work things out. I dare say there are many others who see a professional several times a month and pay to get it resolved - you just have to find what works for you. To be honest, you are putting the right foot forward by being on this site and asking the questions. Pick through the advice, sorting out what you agree with and what you think is crap, and sort out something that works for you. Bear in mind that good advice can also be the advice that we don't want to hear!

    Unfortunately everyone is different and there is no instant answer. It takes time and a lot of effort so never stop trying. We can not succeed as many times as we like, but we only fail when we stop trying. Never stop trying - it will be worth it!

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