Getting to the end of my rope - really need support system
va_01
Posts: 176 Member
Hey Guys -
I have asked 100000 questions on this forum, and have done research upon research, counting every calorie I can count, performing all the right lifts, giving two years of patience.
I decided to reset and really focus on gaining .5 lb/week on a bulk a month ago. I was going up from 186 from a while (probably water and glycogen) until I hit 190, then it tapered back off, and over a month later, and i'm back to 186. I eat 3700 calories a day, feel fat as *kitten* (but probably not actually that fat - my mind has taken over and I'm beginning to get dysmorphic about my appearance - esp when I sit down, etc).
I'm the type of person who wants to do everything right and will go at great lengths to make sure I get there. However, weightlifting and achieving a better body has never worked for me. It's so disheartening to see everyone on here make great gains, and I am left with nothing - not even a measly .5 lb weight gain to show.
I know I should "eat more" but this is beginning to go way beyond that for me. I continue to stall on my lifts, get confused in what I should do to break plateaus, don't have a program to follow because everyone has an opinion on what's best. It's driving me insane
Sorry to rant. I'm just frustrated. I attached a photo of where I'm at. It's pretty 50/50 on whether I should bulk or cut. I just need a good plan. I hate to eat 4000 calories a day when I already feel so fat. But I feel so small I couldn't imagine cutting down to the little LBM I feel I have.
Please help. I have no support system and am going at this alone. It really sucks. Over 2 years have been wasted spinning around in circles. I don't know where else to turn. I've been 100% consistent, and I'm forcing myself to take a week off for the first time in a long time. Hopefully I can gather a plan in that time. I'm trying not to be a little b*tch about it. I've toughed it out for so long I can feel it unraveling.
Thanks guys
I have asked 100000 questions on this forum, and have done research upon research, counting every calorie I can count, performing all the right lifts, giving two years of patience.
I decided to reset and really focus on gaining .5 lb/week on a bulk a month ago. I was going up from 186 from a while (probably water and glycogen) until I hit 190, then it tapered back off, and over a month later, and i'm back to 186. I eat 3700 calories a day, feel fat as *kitten* (but probably not actually that fat - my mind has taken over and I'm beginning to get dysmorphic about my appearance - esp when I sit down, etc).
I'm the type of person who wants to do everything right and will go at great lengths to make sure I get there. However, weightlifting and achieving a better body has never worked for me. It's so disheartening to see everyone on here make great gains, and I am left with nothing - not even a measly .5 lb weight gain to show.
I know I should "eat more" but this is beginning to go way beyond that for me. I continue to stall on my lifts, get confused in what I should do to break plateaus, don't have a program to follow because everyone has an opinion on what's best. It's driving me insane
Sorry to rant. I'm just frustrated. I attached a photo of where I'm at. It's pretty 50/50 on whether I should bulk or cut. I just need a good plan. I hate to eat 4000 calories a day when I already feel so fat. But I feel so small I couldn't imagine cutting down to the little LBM I feel I have.
Please help. I have no support system and am going at this alone. It really sucks. Over 2 years have been wasted spinning around in circles. I don't know where else to turn. I've been 100% consistent, and I'm forcing myself to take a week off for the first time in a long time. Hopefully I can gather a plan in that time. I'm trying not to be a little b*tch about it. I've toughed it out for so long I can feel it unraveling.
Thanks guys
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Replies
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Metabolic adaptation works both ways. In a bulk, you will have to continue to add calories over time to continue gaining (within reason). If you're not willing to do this, you're wasting your time with your bulk. Everybody feels fat on their bulk, it's just the way it is. You can either get over it or keep wasting your time spinning your wheels and accomplishing nothing. The choice is yours.0
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What is your actual aim?0
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OMG, I think you look great and I am not sure what you are concerned about. I guess I should not comment cause I am in unchartered waters here. I guess you want a ripped body look, and I think you look perfect the way you are.0
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I have absolutely no advice, but had to jump in and say - you're not fat.0
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What are your stats?
What body fat percentage are you?
Why are your lifts stalling?
Are you actually following a progressive lifting program?
Two years, you've been learning all about lifting and health, it's not wasted!
It took me 24 years to get my body back!0 -
Lift heavier weights, consistently. Make sure your lean proteins, carbs, and healthy fats are ample enough for your body type. Get a gym partner/personal trainer to help push you in your lifts.0
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If your really worried I would talk to your doctor about getting a displacement fat test it is the only true test of your body fat percentage and they will have advice on how to bulk up, but fyi if your doing this for anyone else you look just fine and at a good healthy weight.0
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As other people are saying, perhaps talk to a nutritionist, they will tell you exactly what you need to eat to achieve your goals. Btw I think you look great even at the moment0
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Metabolic adaptation works both ways. In a bulk, you will have to continue to add calories over time to continue gaining (within reason). If you're not willing to do this, you're wasting your time with your bulk. Everybody feels fat on their bulk, it's just the way it is. You can either get over it or keep wasting your time spinning your wheels and accomplishing nothing. The choice is yours.
The thing is that I just completed another round of adding cals (3500-3700 now.) I wasn't gaining (or losing) at 3500, but once I got on 3700, I gained 4 lbs in 2 weeks, then it al lwent back to the same weight I was at when I started the new #. This does not make any sense to me0 -
What is your actual aim?
My mid-term goal (next 1-2 years) is to roughly be 200 lbs / 12% bf.0 -
As other people are saying, perhaps talk to a nutritionist, they will tell you exactly what you need to eat to achieve your goals. Btw I think you look great even at the moment
Thank you for your compliment. I have been to 2 nutritionists. Neither believe in "bulking" to gain muscle. So that doesn't help me out much
it's hard for me to find someone who understands my goals and supports me through them. 0 -
What are your stats?
What body fat percentage are you?
Why are your lifts stalling?
Are you actually following a progressive lifting program?
Two years, you've been learning all about lifting and health, it's not wasted!
It took me 24 years to get my body back!
My stats are 6'2 / 186 lbs / ~15-16% bf.
I have no idea why my lifts are stalling. I have been doing the same lifts for a while. About 3 months ago I changed up my routine to be more of a full body 3x/week vs my p/p/l I was doing before. But the lifts are the same (although there are fewer now).
I want to get on an ACTUAL program and not one a trainer drums up for me in 5 minutes. I was told ICF 5x5 was good. Do you know any others and how they compare to ones like All Pros, SS, StrongLifts, Madcows, Texas Method, etc?0 -
Hey Guys -
I have asked 100000 questions on this forum, and have done research upon research, counting every calorie I can count, performing all the right lifts, giving two years of patience.
I decided to reset and really focus on gaining .5 lb/week on a bulk a month ago. I was going up from 186 from a while (probably water and glycogen) until I hit 190, then it tapered back off, and over a month later, and i'm back to 186. I eat 3700 calories a day, feel fat as *kitten* (but probably not actually that fat - my mind has taken over and I'm beginning to get dysmorphic about my appearance - esp when I sit down, etc).
I'm the type of person who wants to do everything right and will go at great lengths to make sure I get there. However, weightlifting and achieving a better body has never worked for me. It's so disheartening to see everyone on here make great gains, and I am left with nothing - not even a measly .5 lb weight gain to show.
I know I should "eat more" but this is beginning to go way beyond that for me. I continue to stall on my lifts, get confused in what I should do to break plateaus, don't have a program to follow because everyone has an opinion on what's best. It's driving me insane
Sorry to rant. I'm just frustrated. I attached a photo of where I'm at. It's pretty 50/50 on whether I should bulk or cut. I just need a good plan. I hate to eat 4000 calories a day when I already feel so fat. But I feel so small I couldn't imagine cutting down to the little LBM I feel I have.
Please help. I have no support system and am going at this alone. It really sucks. Over 2 years have been wasted spinning around in circles. I don't know where else to turn. I've been 100% consistent, and I'm forcing myself to take a week off for the first time in a long time. Hopefully I can gather a plan in that time. I'm trying not to be a little b*tch about it. I've toughed it out for so long I can feel it unraveling.
Thanks guys
Oh Honey, you are absolutely beautiful!0 -
I found the best way to build muscle, (this will be a big shocker to most people) enjoy your work outs. If you hate bench press you will never push yourself on it and will get no progressive overload. On the other hand if you love dips and want to push yourself on them, and feel good pushing yourself very hard on them you will get great results. Once you get rid of the mindset of having to do things the best and right way, you will be able to make much better judgments on your progress, and who knows you might have some fun, heaven forbid.0
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Damn, and no need to thank me on the compliment - it's well deserved, you seem pretty great.
I know you probably are but are you lifting heavy enough whereby you can get to the 8th rep and have DOMS the next day?0 -
There's a group on here, I think it's called "Eat, Train. Progress" One of the mods is SideSteel. Maybe there's some info in it that can guide you in your training goals. Good luck to you!
Michelle0 -
Metabolic adaptation works both ways. In a bulk, you will have to continue to add calories over time to continue gaining (within reason). If you're not willing to do this, you're wasting your time with your bulk. Everybody feels fat on their bulk, it's just the way it is. You can either get over it or keep wasting your time spinning your wheels and accomplishing nothing. The choice is yours.
The thing is that I just completed another round of adding cals (3500-3700 now.) I wasn't gaining (or losing) at 3500, but once I got on 3700, I gained 4 lbs in 2 weeks, then it al lwent back to the same weight I was at when I started the new #. This does not make any sense to me
It makes perfect sense, really. Whenever you increase calories you are going to see a jump in weight due to water retention and extra food volume. This is just temporary and "fake" weight gain. If you don't keep gaining past the first few weeks, then you just aren't eating enough. It's really that simple. By the end of my first bulk I was eating 4000 a day at a bare minimum. We're pretty close in size too, I started my bulk at 6'3" 198lbs (and probably a bit fatter than you).0 -
What are your stats?
What body fat percentage are you?
Why are your lifts stalling?
Are you actually following a progressive lifting program?
Two years, you've been learning all about lifting and health, it's not wasted!
It took me 24 years to get my body back!
My stats are 6'2 / 186 lbs / ~15-16% bf.
I have no idea why my lifts are stalling. I have been doing the same lifts for a while. About 3 months ago I changed up my routine to be more of a full body 3x/week vs my p/p/l I was doing before. But the lifts are the same (although there are fewer now).
I want to get on an ACTUAL program and not one a trainer drums up for me in 5 minutes. I was told ICF 5x5 was good. Do you know any others and how they compare to ones like All Pros, SS, StrongLifts, Madcows, Texas Method, etc?
What are your current maxes for the big three? Or big four if you prefer. If you've been lifting for 2 years, a beginner program is probably not going to be optimal. I'm curious to see where you're at to give my suggestion though.0 -
You look great to me, don't be so hard on yourself.0
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What are your stats?
What body fat percentage are you?
Why are your lifts stalling?
Are you actually following a progressive lifting program?
Two years, you've been learning all about lifting and health, it's not wasted!
It took me 24 years to get my body back!
My stats are 6'2 / 186 lbs / ~15-16% bf.
I have no idea why my lifts are stalling. I have been doing the same lifts for a while. About 3 months ago I changed up my routine to be more of a full body 3x/week vs my p/p/l I was doing before. But the lifts are the same (although there are fewer now).
I want to get on an ACTUAL program and not one a trainer drums up for me in 5 minutes. I was told ICF 5x5 was good. Do you know any others and how they compare to ones like All Pros, SS, StrongLifts, Madcows, Texas Method, etc?
ICF is good for muscle gain for beginners. Texas Method is good for people that are no longer beginners. Both have the volume needed for muscle gain.
You aren't eating enough, this is a very easy problem to solve. Quit trying to lean bulk with a pathetically small surplus, you aren't experienced enough to pull it off. Aim for 1.0 pound per week, a +500 cal surplus. Don't worry, you won't become obese overnight, but you will actually gain muscle.
I've always had to eat near 4K cals/day in order to gain (actually was over 4K cals my first couple bulks). When I started out, I was no bigger than you. Even now I'm 6'1" 205, I average 3800-3900 cals/day when bulking, with plenty of days over 4K.0 -
you're only young, its not much of a stretch to think you'd need 4000 cals to be in a surplus! peanut butter and full fat milk for you!0
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Hey -
I just read your whole message, Then looked at your picture.......... You have nothing to worry about!!!
Just work out your BMR & TDEE, Then eat at your TDEE and lift heavy weights!!!!
Lose some body fat, get some definition & build some muscles....... : )
Take progress pictures, SOD the scale!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
It sounds like you're getting so stuck on finding the most perfect, exact, efficient recipe for bulking that you're paralyzing yourself with information. If you really do want to bulk (and I'm not entirely sure that you do, but that's a different question), stop researching, get off the internet and do it.
You've clearly researched a bunch of different programs. Pick whatever one sounds best, right now, and commit to following it for four weeks (longer would be better, obviously, but four weeks should be long enough to be able to tell if that program suits you or if you hate it). Pick a calorie goal and commit to hitting it for four weeks.
Your body needs time to respond to what you're asking it to do. You cannot keep switching things up every week or two and expect to see results. Your weight will go up and down throughout the process -- it's the overall trend line that is important.0 -
What are your stats?
What body fat percentage are you?
Why are your lifts stalling?
Are you actually following a progressive lifting program?
Two years, you've been learning all about lifting and health, it's not wasted!
It took me 24 years to get my body back!
My stats are 6'2 / 186 lbs / ~15-16% bf.
I have no idea why my lifts are stalling. I have been doing the same lifts for a while. About 3 months ago I changed up my routine to be more of a full body 3x/week vs my p/p/l I was doing before. But the lifts are the same (although there are fewer now).
I want to get on an ACTUAL program and not one a trainer drums up for me in 5 minutes. I was told ICF 5x5 was good. Do you know any others and how they compare to ones like All Pros, SS, StrongLifts, Madcows, Texas Method, etc?
What are your current maxes for the big three? Or big four if you prefer. If you've been lifting for 2 years, a beginner program is probably not going to be optimal. I'm curious to see where you're at to give my suggestion though.
Well I don't have my maxes tested/calculated, but to give you a rough idea of what I have:
SQUAT: 160x4x6 (only have a smith machine at my work so I don't include bar on this. Not optimal, I know but I do with what I can)
BENCH: 155x4x8
DL: 155x4x6
I hadn't done Squat/DL until a month or two ago, and I was doing DB press for my bench, but stalled and switched over to the BB. So my lifts are pretty weak to be considered Intermediate. But I'm confused if I could still benefit from a beginner routine.0 -
Thank you everyone for your responses. I guess I really am not eating enough - it's just scary to think I would be consuming that many calories, and the fat that might come along with it. I feel like at this point I am in no position to put on any extra fat, but I guess if I monitor things it won't be so bad?0
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It sounds like you're getting so stuck on finding the most perfect, exact, efficient recipe for bulking that you're paralyzing yourself with information. If you really do want to bulk (and I'm not entirely sure that you do, but that's a different question), stop researching, get off the internet and do it.
this.
common problem.
You need to trust the numbers and go for it- it doesn't happen over night- it's a slow process and if you do not like something- it's very easy to change and go up or down.
Also- listen to Waldo- he's the man.0 -
Definitely in the beginner routine situation.0
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What are your stats?
What body fat percentage are you?
Why are your lifts stalling?
Are you actually following a progressive lifting program?
Two years, you've been learning all about lifting and health, it's not wasted!
It took me 24 years to get my body back!
My stats are 6'2 / 186 lbs / ~15-16% bf.
I have no idea why my lifts are stalling. I have been doing the same lifts for a while. About 3 months ago I changed up my routine to be more of a full body 3x/week vs my p/p/l I was doing before. But the lifts are the same (although there are fewer now).
I want to get on an ACTUAL program and not one a trainer drums up for me in 5 minutes. I was told ICF 5x5 was good. Do you know any others and how they compare to ones like All Pros, SS, StrongLifts, Madcows, Texas Method, etc?
What are your current maxes for the big three? Or big four if you prefer. If you've been lifting for 2 years, a beginner program is probably not going to be optimal. I'm curious to see where you're at to give my suggestion though.
Well I don't have my maxes tested/calculated, but to give you a rough idea of what I have:
SQUAT: 160x4x6 (only have a smith machine at my work so I don't include bar on this. Not optimal, I know but I do with what I can)
BENCH: 155x4x8
DL: 155x4x6
I hadn't done Squat/DL until a month or two ago, and I was doing DB press for my bench, but stalled and switched over to the BB. So my lifts are pretty weak to be considered Intermediate. But I'm confused if I could still benefit from a beginner routine.
Given your lifts I think you'll be fine with almost anything. If you want a beginner routine pick allpro, ss, sl, icf. If you want something more intermediate, step into madcow, texas method or 5/3/1 (or similar).
You really can't go wrong. If you do a beginner program and it starts to become too much, then switch to something more intermediate. There's no real harm.0 -
Thank you everyone for your responses. I guess I really am not eating enough - it's just scary to think I would be consuming that many calories, and the fat that might come along with it. I feel like at this point I am in no position to put on any extra fat, but I guess if I monitor things it won't be so bad?
You really have to put that out of your head if you want to bulk. BEST CASE SCENARIO you gain 50/50 fat and muscle while bulking. REGARDLESS if you are bulking at 2000 or 4000 calories (depending on what your actual TDEE is). Just keep the surplus reasonable, aim to gain 3-5lbs a month (tops) or so and ride it out. If you don't want to gain any fat then don't bulk. There's no way around it. If that's the case, then eat at maintenance and lift. Re-assess in 6 months to a year.0 -
Thank you everyone for your responses. I guess I really am not eating enough - it's just scary to think I would be consuming that many calories, and the fat that might come along with it. I feel like at this point I am in no position to put on any extra fat, but I guess if I monitor things it won't be so bad?
You really have to put that out of your head if you want to bulk. BEST CASE SCENARIO you gain 50/50 fat and muscle while bulking. REGARDLESS if you are bulking at 2000 or 4000 calories (depending on what your actual TDEE is). Just keep the surplus reasonable, aim to gain 3-5lbs a month (tops) or so and ride it out. If you don't want to gain any fat then don't bulk. There's no way around it. If that's the case, then eat at maintenance and lift. Re-assess in 6 months to a year.
truth.0
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