My bf has been gaining a lot of weight, help!

You definitely need to talk to him. I've had many touchy-topic conversations with my boyfriend and I find it's best to bring it up out of the moment, not while he's overeating because I think he'll just get defensive. For the longest time I wasn't attracted to my boyfriend. He didn't even try to take care of himself. He wouldn't shower when he came home from work, his breath always smelled, he'd gained weight. I guess it bothered me so much because it made me feel worse about myself. Why was I dating this smelly person I didn't want to sleep with? Was this the best I could do? But I knew I couldn't throw in the towel without talking to him about it. It felt wrong to put him on the spot for something I would never want someone to talke to me about, but it's my life and I deserve to be happy and I deserve to know if this person is going to fit in the picture in the longterm. I also realized that I would want someone to tell me if I smelled, had gained a lot of weight, or if the person was finding me unattractive. I mulled this over with my therapist and she said I had to talk to him. And it was the hardest conversation I've ever had with a person.

My advice? Don't use accusatory or judging statements. In these types of conversations I usually open up communication in a way where my boyfriend has control of the conversation, free to divulge as little or as much as he wants. I just ask short, specific probing questions to get some info. That way I can gain some insight to how he feels and have a better idea of how to broach the meat of the subject and how to let him know how this has affected me.

If it were me, I'd probably more approach it like, "I don't know how to bring this up, so I'm just going to say it. I've noticed you've been gaining some weight and I didn't know if there was something you wanted to talk about or if there was something I can do to help you." You said he was working out with a trainer...do you think he'd be willing to work out with you?

It's true that you can't make someone lose weight if they don't want to, but based on the fact that he previously had a trainer, it shows me that he wants to lose the weight but probably doesn't know how to stick to it. He probably doesn't know how to bring up the subject with you or ask you for help, especially since you're losing weight while he's gaining. Good luck!!

Okay. This is a touchy subject. I do not want to offend anyone, but I really-really, Really need some help.

My boyfriend is a great guy. I love him to pieces. Unfortunately he has gained quite a bit of weight since we started dating. We haven't been together that long, about six months. He wasn't exactly fit when we got together, but I found him attractive. Up until recently he had been working with a personal trainer 5x a week. (he no longer does) He has been struggling with his weight for quite some time now. I am beginning to grow concerned about his habits as of late. He no longer works out, and consistently over eats. A lot. If we go out to eat, he orders appetizers (plural), a large main course, sides, dessert, and usually eats half of my food as well. (I have actually left multiple restaurant hungry against my will because he ate so much of my food…but I could't speak up for some reason)
God knows I have some eating issues, (not quite the same as his- but issues none the less) and I have to work Hard to maintain a healthy body weight. The holidays are stressful for many people, myself included. I feel so bad for even posting this…but I really feel lost.
Now to sound even more insane: His overeating and constant talk of dieting has been putting me in a bad place. I have been struggling, and I find myself over logging, obsessing, restricting, and over exercising. I weighed around 120-123 two weeks ago. I weighed myself yesterday, and I have lost quite a bit of weight. Quite a bit. I cannot blame my behavior on him, or anyone else. It is so hard not to think about food and calories though, especially when he constantly brings it up. I have tried saying nothing, being supportive. I have not said anything negative…but I am starting to feel a lot of resentment.
I have worked ****ing had to not allow food to take up valuable real-estate in my day to day thoughts. I actually threw my scale in the dumpster, panicked- and ended up running to the 24 CVS in later that night to buy another. I look like ****. I feel like ****. I am angry and sad. I find myself making excuses to (sorry) avoid sleeping with him.
If anyone has successfully dealt with a similar situation, I'd be really grateful for some advice.

Thanks for reading this.

Sounds like he has a food addiction maybe as suggested sit down and speak to him about it, if its getting you down then that's no good. My boyfriend before my husband was exactly like that but he also wanted to make me feel bad and would make certain comments and after a while my confidence went. I tried to talk to him about exercise and eating habits but he would just ignore me and he got bigger and bigger and in the end I broke up with him not because he was big but because his eating habits made me feel ill and how he had such lack of self respect and respect for me by trying to bring me down when he knew I struggled too but at least I was doing something about it...He wasn't small when I met him but he just seemed like your BF to put on weight and ate some serious amount of food in restaurants to the point of embarrassment. For me I felt we had to split and when I did I felt so happy and have now gone on to marry my husband of two years and he too isnt tiny but nothing like my ex....do what you feel best and talk to him at least he wont know you are upset or worried unless you tell him.
Best of Luck !

Just tell him. In the nicest way possible.

When I got to my highest weight, my boyfriend sat me down and told me that he didn't feel as sexually attracted to me because of my weight gain. He still loved me, but as someone who worked out everyday, he wasn't happy that I was being sedentary and overeating.

What he told me really hurt, but it helped me start the process of losing weight and getting healthy again. He has been supportive the whole way and I feel a lot better about myself now.