Kinda Trying To Convince Myself It's Worth It
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I can very much relate to this!
When I hit my goal weight in Dec of 2012 I experienced the same "disappointment" in my body...I could tell I was slim, but my "shape" was weird, disproportionate in places, too much skin here, flab on the back of the arms above the elbow there. There were many things working against me: the general low opinion I'd had of myself and my body for years, the reality that just because I lost lots of weight and ran 5k's didn't mean my body would just snap into a nice shape (esp bcuz I'm over 40), the anger that I'd worked so hard and "this was all I had to show for it", etc. etc.
I had to do several things to overcome this and not be swallowed up by despair:
1.) I had learn to love myself AS I AM and push away the voice that says, "look how gross you are". I refused to listen to that voice, period. I DID grieve my body, I went ahead and let myself feel the disappointment. BUT, I simultaneously praised myself constantly for the incredible task I'd just accomplished of losing 68 lbs and I told myself I look good compared to how I did when I was over 200 lbs, etc. I practiced lots and lots of positive affirmation for a job well done;
2.) I had to accept the reality that I had made poor choices for 10 long years which had slowly and systematically destroyed my body (and mind), that there would be permanent consequences for that (such as the "lovely" little triangle of loose skin above my navel which will not disappear w/out surgery), and that those consequences could be turned into reminders to never, ever abuse myself with food again. There was something very freeing about accepting my responsibility for my poor choices and actions.;
3.) I had to dedicate myself to continuing with my new healthy lifestyle whether or not it eliminated my arm wings, instead of despairing and falling back into eating and overeating because I was angry and disappointed. I had to learn to do the right thing for myself DESPITE the perceived hurdles and/or disappointments. Just because I was disappointed did NOT “earn” me a free pass to start abusing myself again.;
4.) I had to accept that my life is not an "either/or" scenario - i.e., "either I lose weight and look perfect, or, I eat whatever I want and just be fat" - it's a "yes/and/but" situation - i.e., "yes, I lost weight AND I'm not going to have a perfect body BUT I am healthy and happy and living a good life because I no longer binge and hide in the house with food and hate myself for it.
Basically, I had to learn to LIVE, be HAPPY, be CONTENT, and be LOVING toward myself EVEN IF I WASN'T PERFECT. It was a slow process of acceptance. It took a lot of purpose and proactivity. But it happened, eventually. And it will for you, too.
^^^Great post!!!!
I'm 55 years old, have been working out since I've been 19 and have maintained a healthy weight for years. I still have jiggly legs and bat wings and let's not even get started on bathing suits. But you know what. I love my legs!!! They have carried me through countless workouts and many miles. I love my arms - I can do 'boy' pushups!!! And my abs!!!...rock hard under that layer of flab. I'll never look good naked (newsflash there's a lot of us who don't, I'm sure we out number the supermodels of the world).....but I am reaping the benefits of my efforts in good health and high energy!!!! I'll take that over a moment of looking good in a bathing suit. Because in the end, we ALL age, things sag and get wrinkly. It's just a fact of life. Embrace the imperfections and carrying on!!!!0 -
I'd like to add from a training point of view - LIFT WEIGHTS, STRENGTH TRAIN, EAT PROTEIN!0
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i lost 183 pounds and look great in clothes, but naked, i look like a *kitten*. everything hangs. my inner thighs and my stomach look like venetian blinds. when i run and don't have my headphones on, i can hear my arm skin applaud me along. depending on how much you've lost, there only so much snap back in your skin. and no amount of working out is going to tighten it up.
the thing is, the people who know me and know my accomplishment don't see that stuff (and if they do, they are respectful) and the ones who don't know me, don't matter.
i feel 100 times better in my nutsack body than i ever did in my filled out one!0 -
Good for you for going for a healthy weight in your 50's. I finally decided to get my act together at 77 and I'm doomed to have a lot of droopyness. It has started already and I've only lost 12 pounds so far in 45 days. My joints are already happier though.0
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one day, a group of friends or co-workers are going to ask you to join them on a hike, or a cycling trip, or rock climbing or something. a few years ago they wouldn't even have asked, and if they had you would've said no. but this time they asked and you said yes. you'll worry if you'll be able to keep up, but you go any way. you'll reach the top of the mountain, or the end of the trail, or whatever, and you'll look around to the group you're with. you're not huffing and puffing with the worst of them. in fact, you've enjoyed yourself and have a great smile on your face.
then you'll know that it was worth it.
Yes, that is true. My husband talked me into climbing a mountain in New Hampshire summer before last. I said NEVER again! I hope it would be easier now.0 -
I can very much relate to this!
When I hit my goal weight in Dec of 2012 I experienced the same "disappointment" in my body...I could tell I was slim, but my "shape" was weird, disproportionate in places, too much skin here, flab on the back of the arms above the elbow there. There were many things working against me: the general low opinion I'd had of myself and my body for years, the reality that just because I lost lots of weight and ran 5k's didn't mean my body would just snap into a nice shape (esp bcuz I'm over 40), the anger that I'd worked so hard and "this was all I had to show for it", etc. etc.
I had to do several things to overcome this and not be swallowed up by despair:
1.) I had learn to love myself AS I AM and push away the voice that says, "look how gross you are". I refused to listen to that voice, period. I DID grieve my body, I went ahead and let myself feel the disappointment. BUT, I simultaneously praised myself constantly for the incredible task I'd just accomplished of losing 68 lbs and I told myself I look good compared to how I did when I was over 200 lbs, etc. I practiced lots and lots of positive affirmation for a job well done;
2.) I had to accept the reality that I had made poor choices for 10 long years which had slowly and systematically destroyed my body (and mind), that there would be permanent consequences for that (such as the "lovely" little triangle of loose skin above my navel which will not disappear w/out surgery), and that those consequences could be turned into reminders to never, ever abuse myself with food again. There was something very freeing about accepting my responsibility for my poor choices and actions.;
3.) I had to dedicate myself to continuing with my new healthy lifestyle whether or not it eliminated my arm wings, instead of despairing and falling back into eating and overeating because I was angry and disappointed. I had to learn to do the right thing for myself DESPITE the perceived hurdles and/or disappointments. Just because I was disappointed did NOT “earn” me a free pass to start abusing myself again.;
4.) I had to accept that my life is not an "either/or" scenario - i.e., "either I lose weight and look perfect, or, I eat whatever I want and just be fat" - it's a "yes/and/but" situation - i.e., "yes, I lost weight AND I'm not going to have a perfect body BUT I am healthy and happy and living a good life because I no longer binge and hide in the house with food and hate myself for it.
Basically, I had to learn to LIVE, be HAPPY, be CONTENT, and be LOVING toward myself EVEN IF I WASN'T PERFECT. It was a slow process of acceptance. It took a lot of purpose and proactivity. But it happened, eventually. And it will for you, too.
I have been through this more than once as I lost over 100 lbs before, and am now re-losing it. What is in the above quote is also the conclusion I came to! Find out what clothes make you look your best, and remember that YOU don't like/dislike people based on how they look naked, so why do you think everyone else is doing it? You have accomplished something wonderful and you are so much better off for it. Concentrate on that!!!!
This is true - Thank You!0 -
I can very much relate to this!
When I hit my goal weight in Dec of 2012 I experienced the same "disappointment" in my body...I could tell I was slim, but my "shape" was weird, disproportionate in places, too much skin here, flab on the back of the arms above the elbow there. There were many things working against me: the general low opinion I'd had of myself and my body for years, the reality that just because I lost lots of weight and ran 5k's didn't mean my body would just snap into a nice shape (esp bcuz I'm over 40), the anger that I'd worked so hard and "this was all I had to show for it", etc. etc.
I had to do several things to overcome this and not be swallowed up by despair:
1.) I had learn to love myself AS I AM and push away the voice that says, "look how gross you are". I refused to listen to that voice, period. I DID grieve my body, I went ahead and let myself feel the disappointment. BUT, I simultaneously praised myself constantly for the incredible task I'd just accomplished of losing 68 lbs and I told myself I look good compared to how I did when I was over 200 lbs, etc. I practiced lots and lots of positive affirmation for a job well done;
2.) I had to accept the reality that I had made poor choices for 10 long years which had slowly and systematically destroyed my body (and mind), that there would be permanent consequences for that (such as the "lovely" little triangle of loose skin above my navel which will not disappear w/out surgery), and that those consequences could be turned into reminders to never, ever abuse myself with food again. There was something very freeing about accepting my responsibility for my poor choices and actions.;
3.) I had to dedicate myself to continuing with my new healthy lifestyle whether or not it eliminated my arm wings, instead of despairing and falling back into eating and overeating because I was angry and disappointed. I had to learn to do the right thing for myself DESPITE the perceived hurdles and/or disappointments. Just because I was disappointed did NOT “earn” me a free pass to start abusing myself again.;
4.) I had to accept that my life is not an "either/or" scenario - i.e., "either I lose weight and look perfect, or, I eat whatever I want and just be fat" - it's a "yes/and/but" situation - i.e., "yes, I lost weight AND I'm not going to have a perfect body BUT I am healthy and happy and living a good life because I no longer binge and hide in the house with food and hate myself for it.
Basically, I had to learn to LIVE, be HAPPY, be CONTENT, and be LOVING toward myself EVEN IF I WASN'T PERFECT. It was a slow process of acceptance. It took a lot of purpose and proactivity. But it happened, eventually. And it will for you, too.
^^^Great post!!!!
I'm 55 years old, have been working out since I've been 19 and have maintained a healthy weight for years. I still have jiggly legs and bat wings and let's not even get started on bathing suits. But you know what. I love my legs!!! They have carried me through countless workouts and many miles. I love my arms - I can do 'boy' pushups!!! And my abs!!!...rock hard under that layer of flab. I'll never look good naked (newsflash there's a lot of us who don't, I'm sure we out number the supermodels of the world).....but I am reaping the benefits of my efforts in good health and high energy!!!! I'll take that over a moment of looking good in a bathing suit. Because in the end, we ALL age, things sag and get wrinkly. It's just a fact of life. Embrace the imperfections and carrying on!!!!
Everything you said is true. Part of my upset is because when I was young, and slim, I didn't wear that bikini because I thought I didn't look good enough. I should have so much more love for my body than I do, since it is still surprisingly healthy despite my poor diet and lack of exercise for so many years. It also gave me my three wonderful sons.0 -
i lost 183 pounds and look great in clothes, but naked, i look like a *kitten*. everything hangs. my inner thighs and my stomach look like venetian blinds. when i run and don't have my headphones on, i can hear my arm skin applaud me along. depending on how much you've lost, there only so much snap back in your skin. and no amount of working out is going to tighten it up.
the thing is, the people who know me and know my accomplishment don't see that stuff (and if they do, they are respectful) and the ones who don't know me, don't matter.
i feel 100 times better in my nutsack body than i ever did in my filled out one!
Thank you for this! It absolutely made my day!0 -
I'm 59 and I completely get what you're saying. I don't really know if the advice commonly given to lift heavy weights to improve body composition necessarily applies to older women or if it will help with loose skin. Maybe it does so it may be worth a try if you can do it. I wonder if there are personal trainers that have specific experience with what works for us. Another suggestion: maybe go to a day spa and get a massage and a skin treatment. Keeping your skin as soft and supple as you can would have to help a little, at least it will make you feel like a million bucks.
I'm seeing some of the same changes in my body as you have described. But I've changed in many other ways as well over the years. Like from the lyrics to that song (that I can't remember the name of) that always makes me cry, " when the years have done irreparable harm." My hair has gone gray, I have some wrinkles, I've acquired scars both physical and emotional from the life I've lived. But they are badges of honor and they all come with stories that describe how I became who I am. Same thing with the evidence of having lost weight. First, it shows that you have accomplished a feat that many others haven't. Second, it shows that you value yourself enough to take steps to improve your health and that you know that you are fabulous and YOU ARE WORTH IT!0 -
Thank you for this! It absolutely made my day!
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i lost 183 pounds and look great in clothes, but naked, i look like a *kitten*. everything hangs. my inner thighs and my stomach look like venetian blinds. when i run and don't have my headphones on, i can hear my arm skin applaud me along. depending on how much you've lost, there only so much snap back in your skin. and no amount of working out is going to tighten it up.
the thing is, the people who know me and know my accomplishment don't see that stuff (and if they do, they are respectful) and the ones who don't know me, don't matter.
i feel 100 times better in my nutsack body than i ever did in my filled out one!
You have quite a way of describing yourself! LOL! Congratulations on your incredible weight loss. It has to be so much better for your health. And that IS what matters.0 -
Good for you for going for a healthy weight in your 50's. I finally decided to get my act together at 77 and I'm doomed to have a lot of droopyness. It has started already and I've only lost 12 pounds so far in 45 days. My joints are already happier though.
It's never too late they say. Good for you!0 -
Very well said!!!!0
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I'm 59 and I completely get what you're saying. I don't really know if the advice commonly given to lift heavy weights to improve body composition necessarily applies to older women or if it will help with loose skin. Maybe it does so it may be worth a try if you can do it. I wonder if there are personal trainers that have specific experience with what works for us. Another suggestion: maybe go to a day spa and get a massage and a skin treatment. Keeping your skin as soft and supple as you can would have to help a little, at least it will make you feel like a million bucks.
I'm seeing some of the same changes in my body as you have described. But I've changed in many other ways as well over the years. Like from the lyrics to that song (that I can't remember the name of) that always makes me cry, " when the years have done irreparable harm." My hair has gone gray, I have some wrinkles, I've acquired scars both physical and emotional from the life I've lived. But they are badges of honor and they all come with stories that describe how I became who I am. Same thing with the evidence of having lost weight. First, it shows that you have accomplished a feat that many others haven't. Second, it shows that you value yourself enough to take steps to improve your health and that you know that you are fabulous and YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Well, I do lift weights, so I'm hoping it will help.0
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