Dealing with depression & eating

I joined MFP in January 2011 and lost 2 stone (around 28 lbs) over a period of around 18 months which was an amazing achievement for me. I have since gained that weight back on, first started by hitting a plateau and finding it difficult to deal with that. So, now I am back at my old weight, probably slightly heavier now. I am currently suffering from depression, being managed with 20mg of Citalopram daily, due to some work issues. I feel the Citalopram helps me feel more with my mood but I don't have that 100% motivation back yet. I feel I am eating a lot more junk just now, mainly crisps and chocolate at work and then not eating healthy meals at home. But I have really lost it right now and I am finding it difficult to get going again. I really want to be back at my lower weight and more and get into shape, and just get back into my good habits. I have always been an emotional and boredom eater and used to get really involved at the gym. I was wondering if other people have been like this while suffering from depression and how have you dealt with it. If I am still having problems when I go back to see my doctor I shall ask her about this.
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Replies

  • nyqueensguy
    nyqueensguy Posts: 100 Member
    I struggle with depression also and I find that nothing helps as much as daily excercise. Unfortunately I dont always have the time and when I skip a few days or weeks of working out I get depressed even more and then eat more. I've tried medication in the past and Ididnt like it and stopped taking them. Now I try hard to keep my temper, excercise as much as possible, and use this site to keep me in touch with positive helpful people, many who struggle with the same issues we all struggle with but yet overcome them. There is no doubt that being overweight and sedentary definitely contributes to a depression problem. One thing I always counsel myself with is that I ALWAYS feel better after a workout.
  • ^^ This. After a long cold winter, a medical injury, and numerous disappointments personally and professionally, I regained 44 pounds of the original 116 I lost. Now that I can bicycle again due to better weather and a healed injury, I feel much better and the desire to lose weight has returned. Depression can be easily controlled through activity and regiment.
  • agrafina
    agrafina Posts: 128 Member
    You can't rely on "motivation". Motivation is short lived and fickle. Eventually you have to do things because that is what you have to do to get to your goal. You need to eat fewer crisps and chocolate and eat healthier at home not because of some "motivation", but because this is your body, your one shot at life, and you do it. Do you brush your teeth? Are you motivated to do it? No. We do it because of habit and so you don't lose all your teeth by the time you turn fifty. There comes a point at which you have to be real with yourself and say I have to do this just like I have to brush my teeth, motivation be d****d. It is hard. I won't lie. It is really hard to deal with weight loss and depression. I had a hideous time trying to deal with it when I was depressed. What I learned is that you just have to do it regardless of motivation.

    Start with changing one small thing. Once that is habit, add another small change. Don't overhaul everything at once. Few people, especially when depressed, can do that. Success with small changes helps you gain control. Success breeds success. Give yourself those small successes that you can feel good about, and eventually you will reach your goal.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I think it's going around - must be in the water or something. I've seen a lot of posts of people talking about losing their motivation or having stumbled, lost their way, thrown a shoe, whatever you want to call it when life happens after you've made other plans.

    I'm on Lexapro for depression too. Happy pills seem to go along with the hormone imbalance I have....so I'm not crazy, it's the hormones! LOL

    It's hard not to let "life" just get to you. It's really a decision: This is what I'm doing. Something in you isn't wanting to buckle down and do it. It might be worthwhile to get a therapist. I have one who's had gastric bypass surgery. It does help a lot.

    There were things I had to "get over". The things that I let stand in my way included festering in feelings of "Everybody else can eat whatever they want whenever they want and not gain an ounce." "Studying always came easier for my siblings than me." "Nobody else has to deal with what I'm dealing with."

    Truth is: Other people may not be dealing with the same struggles you are, but they all have their own struggles they're dealing with. Only one not dealing with that sort of thing is God.

    I began this journey in April 2011. I lost 115 pounds, then another 26 through weight loss surgery. Life threw me for a loop for the last year, and I gained back to the point where I've now only lost 76 pounds from where I started. Almost 2 weeks ago, I said, "Self....time to get back on it." I told myself that other people have their own challenges, I've done this before, I know what to do, I can do it again. Time to quit giving in to my inner child who wants the cake, thinks she deserves the cake for all the crap life has dealt her lately. Time to quit using food to cope with my emotions. Let's just do this!!

    Time to focus on the goal. You know what to do, you've done it before. You can do it!!!
  • dbg1
    dbg1 Posts: 208
    Right there with you. I lost 25 lbs last year and have since gained it ALL back. I know it has to do with depression about where I thought I would be in this stage of my career. Bad Food satisifies it. I finally got back into exercising this past month. I was literally a battle! I started then stopped after a few days. Started again this week and so far have made it 5 days. But it is so hardas part of me keeps saying why bother. Mentally very tough to keep it up.

    I have decided to focus on the battles one day at a time. Also I have committed to find a new job and started sending applying for new positions. I recognize I need the change as I dread going to work.
  • earthboundmisfit
    earthboundmisfit Posts: 192 Member
    I suffer from depression as well and I'm an emotional eater. When I want to eat I'll go for a walk and that helps. At work I get on the computer and come to MFP or play games on Facebook, anything to distract me. Love chocolate, try to keep it out of the house. My doctor prescribed Seroquel but I stopped taking it because it increased my appetite. Still taking Effexor and Abilify for my depression.
  • dbg1
    dbg1 Posts: 208
    That is so true. One little thing at a time. Each change is a victory in the battle. Enough of these over the long term will win the war for us!
  • jaitken_22
    jaitken_22 Posts: 212 Member
    Thanks everyone for the different responses so far, they have helped me greatly. Sometimes it is good to hear from others and be inspired to be like that. I think it would be a good idea to start off small, each small thing will count and will make the difference. I think my goals at the moment should be:

    - walking/exercise: I love walking at this time of year, smelling the fresh flowers and plants and breathing in the air right into my lungs. That will be good exercise plus I can walk off any stress I may feel. I also have a dog who needs walked. Break in gently at the gym again with some cardio mixed with weights. Try out some yoga/pilates at home to stretch of tension and relax.

    - improving eating: Ensure I do not buy sweets and crisps to snack on at work. Buy appropriate snacks when food shopping and have a treat at the weekend. Eat smaller portions of bad food and introduce healthier foods back into my diet.

    - emotions: As I am an OK frame of mind just now thanks to my medication, I will use this to motivate myself into pushing myself into doing more to get back into my healthy ways. Make sure I get 8 hours of sleep per day at least so I will have the energy to feel more alive and motivated to do things and keep myself from feeling down and bad about myself. Spend time before bed to relax, maybe with some scented lavender candles!

    I am a worrier and always look out for others. So I think I should have some "me" time for once. Like dbg1 said, it all will be mentally tough, but I have done it once before and I can do it again!
  • Shelley6591
    Shelley6591 Posts: 156 Member
    I could have wrote your post myself a year ago. I was so beyond depressed. I was on the same medication too and I found I felt an empty stomach feeling all the time so I felt like I had to eat, it was either that or nausea, I also felt the 'cobwebs in my head' feeling too which made me super numb and not very energetic. I got to the point where I was just too heavy and started having heath issues and I was so sick and tired with feeling sick and tired and depressed I told myself I had to figure out what would make me happy. I can't change the things that happened to me in the past that cause my depression but I could change my weight which was causing me to feel and look awful. I started out on MFP and took it one day at a time. Little my little I lost and felt better. I've eliminated a lot of foods in that time as well as a lot of negative people and I've upped my exercise and like others said it really helps. I feel great after a work out and it also clears your mind. Now for me buying new smaller clothes is my antidepressant plus the energy I have. Feel free to add me if you like.

    Best of luck!:flowerforyou:
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
    I'm right there with you. I have issues with binge eating. It's partly depression, partly constant worrying, and partly boredom. I only have the issue on my day off from my two jobs.. when I am at work I don't have the problem.

    I can't exercise due to multiple injury issues. I know I have to deal with the root of the problem. I refuse to take medication for my depression, so music is what I use. I try to find activities to do that won't flick the food trigger. For instance, watching TV will flick the trigger, and so will reading. I tried almost everything to kick the binge habit.. there were days I would eat 8 meals a day.

    The only thing I have going for me now is that I do not make enough money to binge eat anymore.. that's one small advantage to being poor. Coming on MFP and reading the success stories also is a big help to remind me that I have a goal in mind.

    Best of luck to you!
  • believe247a
    believe247a Posts: 5 Member
    I weighed 115lbs until my little brother passed away. I gained 40 lbs in 7 months and just continued to gain. I've suffered a miscarriage, robbery, loss of job etc. Since then. I'm a very emotional eater. I try to spend my days avoiding my thoughts then about 6 or 7, I realize that I'm starving and feel I can eat anything I want. That stopped last week. I decided that nothing will control me anymore to the point that I eat so poorly. It's been very hard but I bought only healthy foods and decide what I'm eating the meal before. This has controlled much of my life but you have to gain that mental strength to gain motivation for the physical aspects. Message me Anytime. I'm looking for Serious supporters and encouragement. You Can do this. Do not allow anything except what you want for yourself to control you life~OneLove
  • tarcotti
    tarcotti Posts: 205 Member
    Depression is what made me gain all this weight to begin with. And as long as I was depressed, it was harder for me to lose weight. One factor is that I stay at home everyday because of my job, and my car died. My husband and I only had one car for like 3 years. We just bought another one, and now that I can get out and about, my entire mood has shifted. I'm back on MFP again to lose weight and I'm very determined. Also, my reasoning has changed. Its no longer a vain issue, but a health issue. I think your motivation is important, and if its not a health issue for you, then it will be harder. That is all just my opinion....
  • dietcoke281
    dietcoke281 Posts: 226 Member
    I suffer from chronic depression and go through periods of emotional eating when it's severe and I'm on citalopram just now so I totally understand how difficult it is. I would definitely recommend talking to a doctor/therapist/counsellor to get to the bottom of your emotional eating and depression in general.

    One thing that I've found very helpful is remembering that "If you wait until you're 'ready' you'll be waiting forever". Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and force yourself to do things (if you can. I know it's hard!). Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • fernandesg
    fernandesg Posts: 54 Member
    I'm there with you too. I have been on Cipralex (escitalopram) for, oh it must be 4 years now after trying a couple other ones first. I now feel centered and grounded and happy (for the most part). It took time but I got out of the depression I was in.
    But my weight is another story. I gained during my deepest depression. I'm 5'2" and currently about 175bs (although I admit I haven't weighed myself in awhile because I'm afraid to). My heaviest weight was 200lbs, and I lost 35 using MFP a couple years ago. I too have lost any motivation to lose. I'm so busy running my kids here there and everywhere, and my job is also a desk job with minimal movement. I find that my lack of movement promotes more lack of movement and just plain laziness. And not just lazy excercise-wise but also in food logging. I love my chocolate and my meat (especially red meat) and those are both so easy to over-indulge on :ohwell:
    One major thing that keeps me somewhat on track is, if you'll excuse the TMI factor, bowel health. If I over eat or sit too much, I notice it in the washroom. That can be quite the motivator to reduce my intake and move more. I'm sure a few others have had the same experience too.
    Best of luck, hon! To both of us - don't give up and don't beat yourself up! That kind of stress is the last thing depression needs. Be kind to yourself and go one day at a time :flowerforyou:
  • lisa77marie
    lisa77marie Posts: 46 Member
    It's amazing how fast weight can pile on because of depression. I too am in the same boat. I regained about 25 lbs in the past 8 months because of poor eating, a lot stemming from depression. It's easy to say motivation is short lived and not a factor, but when you have depression, you are chronically unmotivated to do anything, you just don't care. (You should see my house, lol!)

    However, this week I decided to change what I was eating and try to adjust my eating habits. I cut out my carbs (trigger foods that make me eat unhealthy), greatly reduced my dairy intake and am filling up on lots of vegetables, egg whites, lean protein and good fats like avocados and nuts and I think I'm down 5 lbs in one week! I was not expecting it to work so well. It has eliminated my cravings and I'm not sticking my hand in the pretzel bag all day or craving sweets. I'm full all day too. It's like a healthy low carb diet and I know there's a lot of haters out there who will say you shouldn't do that, but for me, a depressive binge eating carboholic, it's really working for me. I'm also a recovering alcoholic and I think we crave sugar more than the normal person, so I think this is the way I need to eat. Just a suggestion, it seems to be helping me at least by eliminating my need for constant snacking.
  • Fattackler2013
    Fattackler2013 Posts: 142 Member
    I know what it's like to suffer from depression; it's horrible so I'm sorry that you're going through it. I still have some days when I feel down in the dumps and/or when I have mood swings. I hope that they'll clear up after a while so that they don't happen as often.

    Over time my eating habits have changed a great deal because like you I used to be an emotional/boredom eater, however ever since I restarted my healthy plan my eating habits have changed completely (I still have some bad days don't get me wrong) and I no longer binge either. Ever since I restarted my healthy eating plan just over 4 weeks ago I've lost 20lbs :D

    I work out a lot more often which also helps with my mood, I drink a lot of water (it's all I drink nowadays) and I don't forbid any of the things that I enjoy eating. :D
  • Chevy_Quest
    Chevy_Quest Posts: 2,012 Member
    This has actually turned out to be one of the most positive topics I have seen on the forums in a long time!
    What I like about this is that everyone here is helping themselves out and then helping out others!

    I know that a lot of people get on the "negativitiy" of the forums... but this for the most part is a great example of what people can do when they really help one another!

    Everyone - Go for it!:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • lisa77marie
    lisa77marie Posts: 46 Member
    Also, I've been eating lots of berries - they are sweet, tart and really kill my craving for sweets. Just another hint.
  • stm1961
    stm1961 Posts: 2
    ooooo jaitken can we be friends? Your story is SO my story.
  • writergeek313
    writergeek313 Posts: 390 Member
    My advice would be don't wait until you're ready to start making changes. Start making those changes now, but start small. Try taking some healthier snacks to work. Even if you're not ready for a full workout routine, get moving a little. Depression sometimes feels like you're disconnected from or not in control of your life. A decision as small as "It's a nice day, so I'm going for a walk around my neighborhood" or "I'm going to close my laptop and go cook myself a healthy dinner" can really help you feel empowered again.
    You start to build habits, and those habits can help you feel motivated. Or they're at least habits you can stick to when you *don't* feel motivated. I totally don't feel like going to the gym, but I know I'll feel a lot better afterwards, so even though I'm feeling lazy, I just had my usual pre-workout breakfast and will be out of here soon.
  • connieleavens
    connieleavens Posts: 31 Member
    I feel like I could have written this post. The last 3 or 4 months have been a profound struggle for me. I had been doing great until about the end of last November, then, everything seem to happen so quickly. My 'friends' decided for me that I had lost enough weight and started to get on me about stopping, so I agreed to stop logging and exercising for a month. As anyone else with diagnosed depression knows, stopping the exercising was probably the worst possible thing to do. I have been struggling since January to get my routines back into place, but those voices in my head keep telling me how stupid I was to listen to them, what I failure I am for stopping, that I am completely worthless and will never accomplish anything, you all know exactly what I am saying. It has just been a downward spiral, all the while trying to keep everyone else happy. Some days it is a struggle just to get out of bed and make it to work, let alone do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, then add in the exercising, logging... I don't think you can understand unless you have been there. It is so hard when the ones you rely on for support are the very ones who actually help send you on the downward spiral. It makes you question everything and everyone around you, and question your judgement.
    I guess I need to take some of the advise already offered here, because there were some great suggestions. One habit at a time. Start from scratch, figure out what I am already doing that is a good habit, keep those, then add a new one, one at a time. Thank you for having the courage to speak out and create this opportunity for others like yourself to find acceptance and support.
  • Shelley6591
    Shelley6591 Posts: 156 Member
    It's funny because when people ask me what changed in my life to make me want to lose weight, I have this huge long story so I never tell it.

    I was 103 at 5'7 when I met my husband 18 years ago, I was 18. I gained weight in the following years and in the process of getting medication for what I thought was an insulin resistance issue I became pregnant since they didn't tell me that the medication also acted as a fertility drug, I was 24 and DH worked two jobs so I didn't see anyone ever and I stayed home and ate, I was about 50 pounds over weight quickly. My son became sick at 18 months and passed away at 32 months so during that whole ordeal of him being sick and passing away I ate nonstop and did zero exercise. A year later I was obese and delivered my second son who had colic, I noticed I would literally listen to him cry and stuff food into my mouth mindlessly but I continued to do it all the same. Two years later our daughter was born stillborn, one year later we had a healthy daughter. The kicker for me was last year when I would see people I went to school with and they looked the same and I looked rotten and I though, who cares, I've been through a lot of stuff and I had 4 kids, then one day it occurred to me... My youngest was almost in school, I felt better emotionally, I needed to get myself together and look like I had it together. I started and stopped several times over the years and every time I fell back, this time I'm confident this is who I am, I can't go back there, to the depression or the weight. I'm obviously not judging anyone, just wanted to share my story. Trust me I understand.
  • Sedna_51
    Sedna_51 Posts: 277 Member
    It's good to see so many folks here providing support and tips. I'm going to chime in with a few things I've found helpful too:

    * First of all, take the best care of yourself that you can. See your doctor and your therapist as often as you need to. Making a big lifestyle change like we're doing takes a lot of mental energy, and we deserve to have all the support that we can.

    * When I'm depressed, I tend to be really, really hard on myself, so even a minor slip-up can turn into a big spiral of "give up, you're terrible, why are you doing this, you suck". I had to really actively practice being kind and patient to myself, particularly when I was struggling. Still do.

    * Set yourself up to succeed wherever you can. Again, I had to teach my brain that I could succeed at something small, and then do it over and over again, before I got more comfortable trying bigger things.

    * We're not perfect. Absolutely nobody in the world, including astronauts and movie stars and Olympic athletes, eats exactly the right things and does precisely the right exercise every single day for their entire lives. We're all just trying to get in the habit of being a little better.

    Hope this is helpful! Let me know if you or anyone here wants to be friends while we do this thing.
  • I've just picked myself up from depression and an eating disorder. Although at my lowest times nothing much helped, when my depression wasnt AS bad, I found just a long walk totally improved my mind. Also, forget weight loss. Think healthy. And eat according to that, and the weight will come off anyway! All the best!
  • bah_bug
    bah_bug Posts: 32 Member
    There's a lot of good stuff here. I'll chime in with my two cents, since this is something I still struggle with.

    * Walking, walking, walking. Just get out of the house and walk around outside. It doesn't have to be 'exercise pace,' in fact it's better not to think of it as exercise at all. Just going for a walk to see the neighborhood, walking the dog, walking to the store for a bottle of water, or whatever bypasses your motivation filter.

    * Keeping a journal. Not an online one, one that you can keep away from anyone reading it. Paper for preference, but YMMV. Get stuff out of your head, work it out, then find ways to work on it in your life. I can highly recommend the book "The New Diary" by Tristine Rainer if you need any guidance or need to reframe the action away from the 'typical' concept of what a diary is and does.

    * Make sure you *do* eat. This sounds counter-productive, but I know when I'm spiraling, I'll forget to eat, or not eat because I feel crappy about myself, and then binge when I do eat.

    * Make sure your doctor is doing vitamin panels. Most anti-depressants require periodic liver or kidney function tests, so it's just a matter of tacking on another lab. When you're dieting, especially, making sure your iron, b-vitamins, and vitamin d, etc, are all perking along at normal levels is an important thing.

    * Take a multi vitamin, if you can tolerate them. Just in case.
  • bah_bug
    bah_bug Posts: 32 Member
    Oh, and last but not least, do something with your hands. Knitting, crocheting, scrapbooking, gardening, drawing in a sketchbook, whatever craftsy thing you know how to do that takes your mind to a place of concentration, and gives you a sense of accomplishment. Very helpful
  • fedup30
    fedup30 Posts: 141 Member
    It's good to see so many folks here providing support and tips. I'm going to chime in with a few things I've found helpful too:

    * First of all, take the best care of yourself that you can. See your doctor and your therapist as often as you need to. Making a big lifestyle change like we're doing takes a lot of mental energy, and we deserve to have all the support that we can.

    * When I'm depressed, I tend to be really, really hard on myself, so even a minor slip-up can turn into a big spiral of "give up, you're terrible, why are you doing this, you suck". I had to really actively practice being kind and patient to myself, particularly when I was struggling. Still do.

    * Set yourself up to succeed wherever you can. Again, I had to teach my brain that I could succeed at something small, and then do it over and over again, before I got more comfortable trying bigger things.

    * We're not perfect. Absolutely nobody in the world, including astronauts and movie stars and Olympic athletes, eats exactly the right things and does precisely the right exercise every single day for their entire lives. We're all just trying to get in the habit of being a little better.

    Hope this is helpful! Let me know if you or anyone here wants to be friends while we do this thing.

    This!

    I also struggle with depression. It slowly started taking over my life, and in the last year or two, the weight has really piled on. This year I have been more committed to getting healthy and happy a natural way, without meds. I still have very difficult days,weeks,ect... but Here are a couple tips that have helped me:

    *Get exercise. Schedule it, and do it like it was your job. No excuses, just do it! I started by wearing my workout clothes to bed, and setting my alarm out in the hallway to get myself out of bed. After awhile, it just became habit, and I felt better all day when I got that workout in. Also made me less tempted to "cheat", as I didn't want to undo all that work with crappy eating.

    *When I go grocery shopping, I do my best to go when I am in a good mood, and not hungry :wink: If I go grocery shopping when I am down, and in my "I hate me, and I hate the world" kinds of moods, I just need to not go shopping.....crappy mood+grocery shopping= CRAPPY FOOD in my house. And if it is there, I will eat it. Some say not to restrict yourself, but if I don't restrict, I tend to over do it, eat a whole pizza or bag of dove chocolates and my self-loathing just gets worse....If i am surrounded by beautiful healthy foods, I eat beautiful healthy foods! :happy:

    *Pick up some MFP friends who share the same concerns as you. I have some friends in my list that have been very supportive and understanding. They can be just the pick-me-up you need when you feel like you just can't do it anymore. My MFP friends know more about my problems than my friends and family do, and quite frankly, they are way more supportive too!!

    ETA: Please feel free to add me!
  • Sedna_51
    Sedna_51 Posts: 277 Member
    YES WALKING. Walking, walking, walking! One of my favorite things to do. And I want to also second bah_bug's great suggestion of finding things to do with your hands if you're at all inclined! I learned how to crochet and knit a few years ago, and it helps so much on a bunch of levels- it keeps my hands busy so I'm not tempted to snack, it's very soothing (unless I have a hard pattern, grr), and I feel like I've accomplished something after I work at it.

    Also, I have totally inched my way into multiple workouts on bad days by saying to myself, "You don't have to go for a walk today. Just change your clothes and put on your shoes. That's it." "You don't have to do Pilates today. Just lay your mat out on the ground." And then, hey, once I've done that thing, I might as well do a /little/ something, and then a little bit more, okay, and not infrequently I wind up doing what I'd planned to do.
  • amandzor
    amandzor Posts: 386 Member
    After losing my job, transportation and having an unstable living situation, depression consumed me. I lost all the progress I'd made in the gym over the last few months (40+ pound loss) by eating my feelings, trying to feel better.

    Finally, I decided enough was enough, I went to the doctor, got a mild mood stabilizer (Lamicital) at a very low dosage, which helped -so- much.

    I was able to find a job, joined another gym, found a new place to live and got myself back on tracking food and exercising regularly.

    Depression definitely sometimes means one step forward and two steps back. But there's always hope if you can battle that need to "give up" and "give in" to food.

    Good luck on your journey! I'm rooting for you!
  • amandzor
    amandzor Posts: 386 Member

    Get exercise. Schedule it, and do it like it was your job. No excuses, just do it! I started by wearing my workout clothes to bed, and setting my alarm out in the hallway to get myself out of bed. After awhile, it just became habit, and I felt better all day when I got that workout in. Also made me less tempted to "cheat", as I didn't want to undo all that work with crappy eating.

    ^^ This. I purposely picked a gym in between my workplace and home. I have no excuse to drive by it and -not- stop to workout. It's just an extension of my workday now. A requirement or I don't get "paid" (with the satisfaction of a healthy, happy body)