Insults AFTER losing weight.

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  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
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    Yeah. It can be pretty annoying, but you've got to realize that they aren't happy with themselves and are projecting that onto you.

    We had a coworker buy googey butter cake for every one, and let me preface this to say, I don't like googey butter cake, it's too sweet. My other coworker said "You guys are being mean to Jessica, she can't eat that." I just ignored him, because he knew that I knew he was being an *kitten* on purpose. But had it been someone else, I would have politely told them that I don't eat that type of cake.

    You just have to stay firm to your principles and everything else will fall into place. Try not to let it bother you, I know it can be difficult when you're hearing the same crap everyday.
  • ponycyndi
    ponycyndi Posts: 858 Member
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    When someone says catty things to me, feel sorry for them for hating themselves. Then I practice my "death stare".
  • delazouche
    delazouche Posts: 55 Member
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    I had to deal with this a lot. I lost about 40 pounds about 6 or 7 years ago and I've kept it off (plus or minus a few) ever since. I lived in a sorority house then and the girls would talk about how I must be bulimic or something. They'd make similar comments to what you mentioned.

    Sorority girls can be catty. I dealt with the rumors of eating disorders by mostly ignoring them. I was never "fat" but I was always a little uncomfortable with my weight. I'm in the perfect normal BMI zone now so I feel healthy and happy.

    I left the sorority when I graduated, not thinking about what to expect in the "real world." People at my job didn't know about my weight loss. They saw me as the fit person in the office who ate super healthy and exercised. Any time there was a pot luck, I'd get comments like "Oh, you can eat that, you're so thin!" or "Oh, Katy won't eat that, she only eats healthy stuff!" I wanted to turn around and say "This doesn't come easy! I'm thin because I don't eat cake and donuts every time they show up in the break room! I'm thin because I wake up at 5am to get my daily workout in!"

    I guess what I'm saying is, people are jealous. Any time someone has the discipline to say no to the office donuts or to get up and run at 5am or to simply stick to a healthy lifestyle, it forces people to look at their own insecurities. You can do what I do and ignore those people, or you can simply reply with one of my all-time favorites, "Why do you ask?"

    Example: Oh, how happy is your boyfriend now?
    Reply: Why do you ask?

    It makes people uncomfortable because they actually have to think about what their question implies. As for the other stuff, eventually it will stop. Just smile and be proud of what you've done. Let the haters hate.
    It sounds like you definitely know my pain!!! I realize this is mostly just a big case of haters hatin', and I try to keep that in mind. It's just a crummy atmosphere to have to subject myself to for 9 hrs a day. I'd love to move on somewhere else and just have this be the me that people know from the start, and maybe that will be the route I go eventually.

    I wish I could get more people to understand the balance and discipline thing, too. So what if that chocolate cake HAD been for me? People who make an effort to stay fit can probably afford it in their day much more easily than people who make unhealthy choices on the regular. The difference is after I eat that cake, I'm going to make an effort to burn it off, and I'm not going to follow it with a double bacon cheeseburger for dinner. I like the "Why do you ask?" response, too, but I'd also love to retort that "Well, eating that won't make me any fatter than it's made anyone else here" with a sweet smile on my face most of the time.

    gp4362, glad you got a laugh from my snarky humor ;)

    To the girls being accused of being "anorexic," I hate that people throw that sort of diagnosis around so carelessly. Be overweight and people will be condescending and let you know any way they can, be healthier than them and suddenly they are intimidated and have to find new insults, I suppose.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Stop caring.
    This is the best advice. Seriously. Stop caring what people like that say.
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
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    Hearing something day in and day out can wear on anyone's nerves. It's not as simple as not caring. Hearing it once and you can shurg it off. Hear it 4-5 times a day and it gets old quick.
  • janessanessa
    janessanessa Posts: 299 Member
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    My favorite so far has been the acusation that I have an eating disorder, because daily exercise and counting calories is un-natural and unhealthy. I am not anorexic or bulemic, but to some people, I still have an eating disorder.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    I just get called ugly

    ignore them or call them out
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Hearing something day in and day out can wear on anyone's nerves. It's not as simple as not caring. Hearing it once and you can shurg it off. Hear it 4-5 times a day and it gets old quick.
    It really is though. I'm a woman in a male-dominated industry. I hear all the same things all the time. Trust me, you can stop caring. It's called growing a thick skin. Mine is several feet thick now. :laugh:
  • NahrasWay
    NahrasWay Posts: 78 Member
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    I lost loads of weight when my thyroid went hyper active I also didn't sleep for 3 months, maybe 1 hour a night> So I looked a lot thinner than I was 3 months before. I was at work when a woman I never seen or met before walked up to me and asked "How long have you had cancer, then? " I was gobsmacked, I just said that I didn't and walked away. Poor misguided soul that she was.... Tablets cured the over active thyroid, maybe a bit to well, which is why I'm here trying to lose it steadily with change in attitude to food and health.

    dafuq.
  • delazouche
    delazouche Posts: 55 Member
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    The stupid comments are just jealousy manifesting. Action makes the inactive resentful and jealous.

    Turn it right back around.

    "Oh, I wish I could eat (insert whatever here) but it just makes me look so bloated. You can pull it off though!"

    "It's just SO HARD to shop for clothes now. Everything is so huge in the adults section!"
    Those gave me a good laugh :) A few times I have started to say how hard it has become to find any clothes small enough for me, but I stop because I think I'm being rude or arrogant (because I need to be concerned about that in response to someone being rude to me, right?)
    Hearing something day in and day out can wear on anyone's nerves. It's not as simple as not caring. Hearing it once and you can shurg it off. Hear it 4-5 times a day and it gets old quick.
    You're very right about that. I think people are starting to see that I just don't say anything in response anymore when they dole out the regular comments. I pretend I didn't hear them.
    I'm about 3 lbs away from my goal weight of 150 (stretch goal of 145), and I'm 5'8. I've had go workers tell me that it's time to stop, because you can see my collar bone. It's like, that's normal, that's not too thin! I've also gotten variations on wow, your husband must be happy. Really!? Come on now. And last weekend I tried on a size 6. It was way too tight, but it still buttoned up! I sent a picture to my mom, who said, stop you too thin! When I called her and told her, look, I'm not. I'm healthy and I'm still 3 lbs away and 153, her response was, really? I never thought you would be able to fit into a size 8 (my current) weighing that! Ughhh. Cannot win!
    I hate that people judge on numbers so much like that. I still weigh about 10 pounds more than I did in high school, but I look a lot better and wear the same sizes I used to. I have a little sister (about the same height) who is a good 13 pounds lighter than me and a size 00 normally, but no one gives her crap because she's been tiny her whole life, whereas I get chastised and told to beware getting bony or that I'll get sick, etc. When it's my family members I want to ask "What? Are you scared I won't be the fat sister anymore or something?"
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
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    Hearing something day in and day out can wear on anyone's nerves. It's not as simple as not caring. Hearing it once and you can shurg it off. Hear it 4-5 times a day and it gets old quick.
    It really is though. I'm a woman in a male-dominated industry. I hear all the same things all the time. Trust me, you can stop caring. It's called growing a thick skin. Mine is several feet thick now. :laugh:

    Maybe it's because I don't have patience for other's bs.
  • techgal128
    techgal128 Posts: 719 Member
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    Hearing something day in and day out can wear on anyone's nerves. It's not as simple as not caring. Hearing it once and you can shurg it off. Hear it 4-5 times a day and it gets old quick.

    This. Most people don't have the ability to just "stop caring". Deep inside it always hurts. The trick is to come back with something clever or snarky so your self esteem goes right back up again. :p
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    eff them!

    my comments came from ppl that said I was 'obsessed' with losing weight. Others said I am going to 'blow away' & I needed to stop losing weight. ummmm... I still have about 40 pounds to go! But I don't see those ppl much anymore due to a new job. I just had to learn to keep my mouth shut and ignore them. do what I do and keep going. I know my body and my goals, they don't. yes it gets old when you hear it often. some ppl I could ask not to say anything but others I couldn't.

    it is what it is...
  • spara0038
    spara0038 Posts: 226 Member
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    WOW. Glad I don't work with many women! But yeah, I've heard some of that. Most of it involving the word "twig". Not much of it though, luckily.

    I mean, the thing is... they're just jealous and that's how you have to see it. If you were a billionaire, I'm sure you'd hear the phrase "money can't buy you happiness" over and over. It's some miserable people's nature to take you down a peg so you feel as miserable as everyone else, so you don't stand out as the shining star.

    Honestly, I'd relish it- run with the "compliment" and turn it around on them. They're saying it to bring you down a notch. If you don't let them, it'll stop. You may have to sound cocky for a while, but once you get on THEIR nerves about it, they'll stop. Don't be afraid to be a little awkward! lol

    Examples:

    Them: "You're not going to eat that, are you?!"
    You: "Yes, and I'm going to damn well enjoy it!" (even if you're not)

    Them: "You can hide back there now that you're slim!"
    You: "I know, right? I'm in the running for hide and seek world champ!"

    Play with it a little. You may have to be a sarcastic *kitten* but trust me, it'll get them to shut up. Getting upset about it like you are now is only giving them what they want.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Hearing something day in and day out can wear on anyone's nerves. It's not as simple as not caring. Hearing it once and you can shurg it off. Hear it 4-5 times a day and it gets old quick.
    It really is though. I'm a woman in a male-dominated industry. I hear all the same things all the time. Trust me, you can stop caring. It's called growing a thick skin. Mine is several feet thick now. :laugh:

    Maybe it's because I don't have patience for other's bs.
    Give it time. You will. Especially if your career depends on it. I used to fight everything too. It was too much work though. Now I just blow it off, and I'm a much happier person. As an added benefit, people don't give me near as much crap as they used to because they don't get a fun reaction out of me. :wink:
  • spud_chick
    spud_chick Posts: 2,639 Member
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    Hearing something day in and day out can wear on anyone's nerves. It's not as simple as not caring. Hearing it once and you can shurg it off. Hear it 4-5 times a day and it gets old quick.
    It really is though. I'm a woman in a male-dominated industry. I hear all the same things all the time. Trust me, you can stop caring. It's called growing a thick skin. Mine is several feet thick now. :laugh:

    Maybe it's because I don't have patience for other's bs.

    Right on. I'd rather change my environment, either by relocating or changing the way people behave towards me, even if that is a little more work.
  • Grumpsandwich
    Grumpsandwich Posts: 368 Member
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    Well most of my family is over weight, I been told im getting too skinny, you've gotten chicken legs, you anorexic? You get any skinnier it will be disgusting. I have been accused of being a BARFER because apparently I been losing the weight too fast? ( 11 months ) I get my skin on my jawline and under arms pointed out like im not allowed to be proud of losing half a person and need to suffer.

    Guess who doesnt talk to her family anymore :(

    It sucks when the people who are support to lift you up are the ones constantly tearing you down

    Even harsher since Ive quit talking to them I have been happier and have had the most mental peace and clarity that ive had in YEARS I didnt realize how cynical/bitter and hateful i had become until I started to remove stresses from my life
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
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    Hearing something day in and day out can wear on anyone's nerves. It's not as simple as not caring. Hearing it once and you can shurg it off. Hear it 4-5 times a day and it gets old quick.
    It really is though. I'm a woman in a male-dominated industry. I hear all the same things all the time. Trust me, you can stop caring. It's called growing a thick skin. Mine is several feet thick now. :laugh:

    Maybe it's because I don't have patience for other's bs.
    Give it time. You will. Especially if your career depends on it. I used to fight everything too. It was too much work though. Now I just blow it off, and I'm a much happier person. As an added benefit, people don't give me near as much crap as they used to because they don't get a fun reaction out of me. :wink:

    I'm not someone who blows up, but after you saying the same thing to me 3 or 4 times, I will politely ask you to correct your behavior. If I did something that repeatedly offended someone, I would expect someone to tell me it's bothering them. Sometimes people don't know what they are doing is wrong.
  • daliyanin
    daliyanin Posts: 93 Member
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    I would have exploded by now... I do get comments from one person in particular at work. Not surprising, she has MAJOR issues with food and body image, but It is extremely hard to be polite and keep my mouth shut. I can't imagine getting it from multiple people at work. After all, you spend the majority of your time there.

    Sorry! I don't have any advice but to tell them to F off and mind their own... Good luck!!
  • GreenIceFloes
    GreenIceFloes Posts: 1,491 Member
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    I will never fully understand women...

    I am a woman and don't fully understand women...

    Maybe my mature age and life's tough times has made a bit tough.
    I'm a woman and I understand neither women nor men.

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