Can't believe what someone said today..

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  • sherrik10
    sherrik10 Posts: 74 Member
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    If the person who said that to me was a littel heavy I think I would have said "no, are you?" Even if they were male.
  • Cristy_AZ
    Cristy_AZ Posts: 986
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    People are idiots and have no manners or class! Blow it off, you are on the right track. And know that any female anywhere near childbearing age that carries ANY weight in their middle has heard a similar remark. I had one of my employees ask me if I was pregnant in front of a whole hall of construction laborers, I just wanted to die, but I just said no and continued working.
  • Echoshill
    Echoshill Posts: 42 Member
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    My guess is that this is going to be immensely unpopular post, but here we go.

    First and foremost, right or wrong, rude or indifferent, the person said what they said based on something they saw. And for better or worse, what they said gave you pause for thought which can be a positive.

    Do not, under any circumstance, let what they said make you decide to change or to not like who you are. No one should have that kind of power over you. Besides, if you try to use something someone said as your driving for for change you WILL quit as soon as 1) You are more tired than pissed off and 2) Enough people pile on the BS to make you feel like they are the problem and not you. Either way, you will likely fail.

    Rather try this.

    Do you have health issues stemming from weight? Is your diet putting you on a collision course for heath issues? Are you mathematically obese or over weight? Do you want to change or need to change your life. NOTE: The first one is actually more powerful than the ladder.

    If the answer to the majority of the above questions is yes, then yeah, you should declare that you will never be as heavy as you are today ever again. If however you have none of the issues above, your BMI is respectable and you like yourself, then f**k him for saying it. Give yourself a hug, have a bowel of ice cream and go to bed.

    What can I say. I am a former Marine and the lovey touchy feely crap is not my strong point. Take the circumstances at hand, weed through the emotions and feelings (because they are useless) and get to the facts. The facts are: someone said something to you with regard to the way they see you. They implied that you look heavy. It is their opinion. It is up to you to determine if they had reason to see that? It is up to you to decide if you want to change.
  • Zita_Jenn
    Zita_Jenn Posts: 252 Member
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    I so know what you are going through... I've been asked that same question 3 times. The first time was almost 10 years ago... I was with my soon to be 4 yr old son, husband and father in law at Marine Land.. I don't do well on rides and a lady asked me when I was due? I told her I wasn't. She told me how sorry she was. The second time was when I went shopping when my last baby was a newborn. I was pushing him in a stroller while walking with my aunt. A lady asked me when I was due. I was thinking.. Are you F'ning Kidding me.. I have a NEWBORN here.

    Then two summers ago.. my husband, my 3 boys and I were coming home from a trip.. we pulled into a Fast food restaurant..... a lady beside me says "you are brave." I am like "excuse me?" She says, "to have another baby after having 3 boys.. wow" I said, "yeah... I am hoping for a girl" She says "well the best of luck to you". I walked towards my husband and said congratulations.. it appears we are having a baby and it is a girl" . I felt like **** though. I am so hoping to lose this weight.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
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    Jeez. :noway: I can't believe people think it's okay to be that rude. Don't let it get you down.
    On a side note, I think you're gorgeous, so don't let comments like that make you self-conscious. You're probably way better looking than the person that made that remark.
  • sweetiekayk
    sweetiekayk Posts: 84
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    Just the other day my sister said I looked pregnant. I said "yup, 3 kids will do that you....what's your excuse?" It's great cuz she's small and we constantly tease each other about our weight.


    Several years ago, at a new job, someone whispered to me "are you pregnant?" She said it quiet enough so no one could hear, which was nice of her, but still kind of offensive. She was just concerned because one of our job duties in the warehouse was going in the freezer for up to 15 minutes at a time to gather orders. My ex and I had been trying to get pregnant at the time and the following month (after we decided we should wait longer) we succeeded...our 3rd and last baby.

    I think you have to look at rude remarks based on how the person says it. In my case it was safety. But most times people should just bite their tongues.
  • jbqueen
    jbqueen Posts: 89 Member
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    I had that happen to me twice. Once a patron (I'm a librarian) asked me when I'd had my baby; turns out she confused me with a co-worker who was heavily pregnant at the time, but it was still disturbing because apparently I looked post-partum. Then a couple of years ago another patron, an elderly woman, thought I was pregnant; I attribute that to an empire-waist dress that I have NEVER WORN AGAIN. :tongue: But yes, I still need(ed) to lose some weight.

    Nothing tops my friend's experience, though: her own mother thought she was pregnant when she went home for a visit! Her mom was all excited until my friend told her she wrong. Her mom's response: "Well, then, that top makes you look fat." Nice!:frown:
  • HerbieSue
    HerbieSue Posts: 288
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    I agree, rude comment! Your mini goals are great, you CAN do it!!
  • melissarforlife
    melissarforlife Posts: 47 Member
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    OMG!!!!!! I'm sad for you! Im big in my butt...I've gotten "fat *kitten*" for years! Its crazy isn't it. If someone says that again, you should say something like, "I have a tumor" and see what they say! Geesh. I just don't think that people think!!!!! Seriously!
    I hope that you didn't let this sabotage you, because you can't! This is for you honey, nobody else! Man!!!!!!

    YOU WILL BE LESS THAN YOU ARE TODAY SOON ENOUGH!!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND LOVED!!!! Hang in there my dear, and add me as a friend if you'd like. :)
    Prayin for ya!
    Melissa
  • dd1224
    dd1224 Posts: 11
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    Okay that was SUPER rude! I have been asked this more times than I can even remember and every time my heart aches a little. I'm a small framed person and all my weight goes to my belly. Even people at work have asked me this, and they're not even sorry after I correct them?! It makes it seem malicious. One lady said "oh, it must be gas then?" Like hello? STOP talking!

    I know its hard to let it go, and it will take time to get over. Funny thing is I've had so MANY people ask me this that I finally realized I should do something about it....I guess peer pressure works? Ugh, it still makes me mad to think about.
  • T0RIEELIZABETH
    T0RIEELIZABETH Posts: 376
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    My guess is that this is going to be immensely unpopular post, but here we go.

    First and foremost, right or wrong, rude or indifferent, the person said what they said based on something they saw. And for better or worse, what they said gave you pause for thought which can be a positive.

    Do not, under any circumstance, let what they said make you decide to change or to not like who you are. No one should have that kind of power over you. Besides, if you try to use something someone said as your driving for for change you WILL quit as soon as 1) You are more tired than pissed off and 2) Enough people pile on the BS to make you feel like they are the problem and not you. Either way, you will likely fail.

    Rather try this.

    Do you have health issues stemming from weight? Is your diet putting you on a collision course for heath issues? Are you mathematically obese or over weight? Do you want to change or need to change your life. NOTE: The first one is actually more powerful than the ladder.

    If the answer to the majority of the above questions is yes, then yeah, you should declare that you will never be as heavy as you are today ever again. If however you have none of the issues above, your BMI is respectable and you like yourself, then f**k him for saying it. Give yourself a hug, have a bowel of ice cream and go to bed.

    What can I say. I am a former Marine and the lovey touchy feely crap is not my strong point. Take the circumstances at hand, weed through the emotions and feelings (because they are useless) and get to the facts. The facts are: someone said something to you with regard to the way they see you. They implied that you look heavy. It is their opinion. It is up to you to determine if they had reason to see that? It is up to you to decide if you want to change.

    I honestly dont mind your post. Actually, thank you. I dont need to do this for other people, this is for me and my health (bmi=obese). Thank you very much :)
  • dancer77
    dancer77 Posts: 249 Member
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    Awww :( that is the dumbest question to ask! I haven't had that one..but I have been carrying around my sister and people asked if she was mine....I was only 17...did I look like I just had a baby?!?! :P
  • CuteMommy88
    CuteMommy88 Posts: 538 Member
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    what a douche bag....i hate ppl sometimes!!! you are beautiful!!
  • marisol7649
    marisol7649 Posts: 484 Member
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    I just looked and your picture and you are so pretty. Some people are a*&holes.

    But Why must you focus on one jerk who made you feel bad when I know you get compliments. Am I wrong?
  • T0RIEELIZABETH
    T0RIEELIZABETH Posts: 376
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    thank you guys so much! I really appreciate the compliments, definitely made my night and makes me feel better about it and myself! I am so glad I found this website, you guys are amazing :)
  • MissResa
    MissResa Posts: 1,147 Member
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    My guess is that this is going to be immensely unpopular post, but here we go.

    First and foremost, right or wrong, rude or indifferent, the person said what they said based on something they saw. And for better or worse, what they said gave you pause for thought which can be a positive.

    Do not, under any circumstance, let what they said make you decide to change or to not like who you are. No one should have that kind of power over you. Besides, if you try to use something someone said as your driving for for change you WILL quit as soon as 1) You are more tired than pissed off and 2) Enough people pile on the BS to make you feel like they are the problem and not you. Either way, you will likely fail.

    Rather try this.

    Do you have health issues stemming from weight? Is your diet putting you on a collision course for heath issues? Are you mathematically obese or over weight? Do you want to change or need to change your life. NOTE: The first one is actually more powerful than the ladder.

    If the answer to the majority of the above questions is yes, then yeah, you should declare that you will never be as heavy as you are today ever again. If however you have none of the issues above, your BMI is respectable and you like yourself, then f**k him for saying it. Give yourself a hug, have a bowel of ice cream and go to bed.

    What can I say. I am a former Marine and the lovey touchy feely crap is not my strong point. Take the circumstances at hand, weed through the emotions and feelings (because they are useless) and get to the facts. The facts are: someone said something to you with regard to the way they see you. They implied that you look heavy. It is their opinion. It is up to you to determine if they had reason to see that? It is up to you to decide if you want to change.

    I actually thought this was stated very well. You kind of reminded me of R. Lee Ermey from the insurance commercial when you said lovey touchy feely crap, lol. ;)

    tsosbe, you are a cutie(as Marisol already stated), and you seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders when it comes to this. Use it as motivation, and forget the socially awkward guy that started all this... Or better yet, remember him as the person who added fuel to your fire, since you were already motivated enough to start on here. Maybe you'll run into him a little farther down the road. =)
  • kidtechnical
    kidtechnical Posts: 146
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    Oh, never mind, you can lose weight, but that person will always be a tool!
  • KanCrav
    KanCrav Posts: 439 Member
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    If I were you I would take it as motivation, which I am sure your going to do. You cant help what ppl say but you can help how you react to it! Next time you think your at about faliure in those situps, think of that guy and do 5 more!~!~!
  • copper33
    copper33 Posts: 12
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    I agree - take it as a motivational impulse. Although that was a horribly rude thing to say, an incident like that can make a real emotional impact which, in turn, can sometimes increase motivation and make it easier to stick to your weight loss and exercise goals.

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