family and friends who don't like change

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lyoill
lyoill Posts: 59
in Motivation and Support
Hi
I've decided to change my name, I didn't think that it was a big deal. I dislike my name, so I decided to go on a variation of my middle name. the name is not out there in any way it's a normal name etc but gee the responses from family and some friends is just soo negative and hurtful. Comments like no you can't or that's like us wanting to be jezabelle and .... or they suggests another name all together like why not Amber!? my step mother even said in a text do you pronounce that *kitten*? there general feeling is that that's not my name and I won't call you anything else. my response is that's ok, it's difficult I understand if you still want to call me .... I just wanted to let you know. but they just don't stop being mean about it.

a lot has changed for me not just they way that I look at food, but they way I approach life in General. I want to move forward with a name that I like. and while I find people's negativity hurtful and baffling I came to the conculsion that people don't like change. whether is their friend loosing a lot of weight or a name change. it brings to mind all of the don't loose any more weight you look sick, your not you anymore etc. I've even seen people friends turn bitter towards others that have shed the ponds. why? and why can't people just be open minded and accepting.

has anyone else faced something similar?

Replies

  • sugarlemonpie
    sugarlemonpie Posts: 311 Member
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    People who won't accept you for who you are really are not 'friends'. Unfortunately you can't pick your family either, or your name.

    I moved to NZ for college and lost a couple of friends because of that. It hurt, but overall I am happier doing what I really want as opposed to just settling and giving in to what other people expect of me. It's the same with losing weight, you should really just get rid of negativity as much as possible.

    With family, it's more difficult. You just have to tell them "If you love me, please accept me and respect my wishes." Names are a hard thing, that's who they know you as so it's difficult to change their mind on it. Is your name really that awful? Does anyone call you this name right now?

    Most people I know that changed their names legally had been called their 'nickname' for years, so it was an easy transition.
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
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    I'm curious, why name change? What was it and what is it? I'm nosy, lol sorry.

    But negativity is something we don't need in life.
  • lyoill
    lyoill Posts: 59
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    it's just a popular 70s girls name.
    most people who I meet will say really you don't look like a k....

    I agree the negativity is not pleasant. I kind of wished that I did this years ago. but I was never confident enough to, I am now and people don't see to like it. though it really is just my family. most of my friends are like great name I like it! but some are hinting that it's a bit pretentious to change your name by responding with a story about someone they know and obviously don't like changing their name to ........ insert a hippy or overly floral name with a roll of the eyes.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,359 Member
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    Honestly, I didn'tnt even read the whole thing. Why do you hate your anme? b/c others that have a high school mentallity do? that's not good enough for me.
  • lyoill
    lyoill Posts: 59
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    People who won't accept you for who you are really are not 'friends'. Unfortunately you can't pick your family either, or your name.

    I moved to NZ for college and lost a couple of friends because of that. It hurt, but overall I am happier doing what I really want as opposed to just settling and giving in to what other people expect of me. It's the same with losing weight, you should really just get rid of negativity as much as possible.

    yes I think that people, sometimes feel rejected by our choices. I agree we need to live our lives as we need and want to it is ours to live after all.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    Is it agnes?
  • lyoill
    lyoill Posts: 59
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    Honestly, I didn'tnt even read the whole thing. Why do you hate your anme? b/c others that have a high school mentallity do? that's not good enough for me.

    no sorry miss read. the *kitten* comment was a nasty reaction to the name that I want to change it to. the comment was from my fathers wife....
    I don't hate my name I just don't like it and I never have, it's just does not feel like me and even less so now. I just want to use a version of my middle name which is Anne.

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