Dealing with depression & eating

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  • connieleavens
    connieleavens Posts: 31 Member
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    I feel like I could have written this post. The last 3 or 4 months have been a profound struggle for me. I had been doing great until about the end of last November, then, everything seem to happen so quickly. My 'friends' decided for me that I had lost enough weight and started to get on me about stopping, so I agreed to stop logging and exercising for a month. As anyone else with diagnosed depression knows, stopping the exercising was probably the worst possible thing to do. I have been struggling since January to get my routines back into place, but those voices in my head keep telling me how stupid I was to listen to them, what I failure I am for stopping, that I am completely worthless and will never accomplish anything, you all know exactly what I am saying. It has just been a downward spiral, all the while trying to keep everyone else happy. Some days it is a struggle just to get out of bed and make it to work, let alone do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, then add in the exercising, logging... I don't think you can understand unless you have been there. It is so hard when the ones you rely on for support are the very ones who actually help send you on the downward spiral. It makes you question everything and everyone around you, and question your judgement.
    I guess I need to take some of the advise already offered here, because there were some great suggestions. One habit at a time. Start from scratch, figure out what I am already doing that is a good habit, keep those, then add a new one, one at a time. Thank you for having the courage to speak out and create this opportunity for others like yourself to find acceptance and support.
  • Shelley6591
    Shelley6591 Posts: 156 Member
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    It's funny because when people ask me what changed in my life to make me want to lose weight, I have this huge long story so I never tell it.

    I was 103 at 5'7 when I met my husband 18 years ago, I was 18. I gained weight in the following years and in the process of getting medication for what I thought was an insulin resistance issue I became pregnant since they didn't tell me that the medication also acted as a fertility drug, I was 24 and DH worked two jobs so I didn't see anyone ever and I stayed home and ate, I was about 50 pounds over weight quickly. My son became sick at 18 months and passed away at 32 months so during that whole ordeal of him being sick and passing away I ate nonstop and did zero exercise. A year later I was obese and delivered my second son who had colic, I noticed I would literally listen to him cry and stuff food into my mouth mindlessly but I continued to do it all the same. Two years later our daughter was born stillborn, one year later we had a healthy daughter. The kicker for me was last year when I would see people I went to school with and they looked the same and I looked rotten and I though, who cares, I've been through a lot of stuff and I had 4 kids, then one day it occurred to me... My youngest was almost in school, I felt better emotionally, I needed to get myself together and look like I had it together. I started and stopped several times over the years and every time I fell back, this time I'm confident this is who I am, I can't go back there, to the depression or the weight. I'm obviously not judging anyone, just wanted to share my story. Trust me I understand.
  • Sedna_51
    Sedna_51 Posts: 277 Member
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    It's good to see so many folks here providing support and tips. I'm going to chime in with a few things I've found helpful too:

    * First of all, take the best care of yourself that you can. See your doctor and your therapist as often as you need to. Making a big lifestyle change like we're doing takes a lot of mental energy, and we deserve to have all the support that we can.

    * When I'm depressed, I tend to be really, really hard on myself, so even a minor slip-up can turn into a big spiral of "give up, you're terrible, why are you doing this, you suck". I had to really actively practice being kind and patient to myself, particularly when I was struggling. Still do.

    * Set yourself up to succeed wherever you can. Again, I had to teach my brain that I could succeed at something small, and then do it over and over again, before I got more comfortable trying bigger things.

    * We're not perfect. Absolutely nobody in the world, including astronauts and movie stars and Olympic athletes, eats exactly the right things and does precisely the right exercise every single day for their entire lives. We're all just trying to get in the habit of being a little better.

    Hope this is helpful! Let me know if you or anyone here wants to be friends while we do this thing.
  • healinghealthily
    healinghealthily Posts: 1
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    I've just picked myself up from depression and an eating disorder. Although at my lowest times nothing much helped, when my depression wasnt AS bad, I found just a long walk totally improved my mind. Also, forget weight loss. Think healthy. And eat according to that, and the weight will come off anyway! All the best!
  • bah_bug
    bah_bug Posts: 32 Member
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    There's a lot of good stuff here. I'll chime in with my two cents, since this is something I still struggle with.

    * Walking, walking, walking. Just get out of the house and walk around outside. It doesn't have to be 'exercise pace,' in fact it's better not to think of it as exercise at all. Just going for a walk to see the neighborhood, walking the dog, walking to the store for a bottle of water, or whatever bypasses your motivation filter.

    * Keeping a journal. Not an online one, one that you can keep away from anyone reading it. Paper for preference, but YMMV. Get stuff out of your head, work it out, then find ways to work on it in your life. I can highly recommend the book "The New Diary" by Tristine Rainer if you need any guidance or need to reframe the action away from the 'typical' concept of what a diary is and does.

    * Make sure you *do* eat. This sounds counter-productive, but I know when I'm spiraling, I'll forget to eat, or not eat because I feel crappy about myself, and then binge when I do eat.

    * Make sure your doctor is doing vitamin panels. Most anti-depressants require periodic liver or kidney function tests, so it's just a matter of tacking on another lab. When you're dieting, especially, making sure your iron, b-vitamins, and vitamin d, etc, are all perking along at normal levels is an important thing.

    * Take a multi vitamin, if you can tolerate them. Just in case.
  • bah_bug
    bah_bug Posts: 32 Member
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    Oh, and last but not least, do something with your hands. Knitting, crocheting, scrapbooking, gardening, drawing in a sketchbook, whatever craftsy thing you know how to do that takes your mind to a place of concentration, and gives you a sense of accomplishment. Very helpful
  • fedup30
    fedup30 Posts: 141 Member
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    It's good to see so many folks here providing support and tips. I'm going to chime in with a few things I've found helpful too:

    * First of all, take the best care of yourself that you can. See your doctor and your therapist as often as you need to. Making a big lifestyle change like we're doing takes a lot of mental energy, and we deserve to have all the support that we can.

    * When I'm depressed, I tend to be really, really hard on myself, so even a minor slip-up can turn into a big spiral of "give up, you're terrible, why are you doing this, you suck". I had to really actively practice being kind and patient to myself, particularly when I was struggling. Still do.

    * Set yourself up to succeed wherever you can. Again, I had to teach my brain that I could succeed at something small, and then do it over and over again, before I got more comfortable trying bigger things.

    * We're not perfect. Absolutely nobody in the world, including astronauts and movie stars and Olympic athletes, eats exactly the right things and does precisely the right exercise every single day for their entire lives. We're all just trying to get in the habit of being a little better.

    Hope this is helpful! Let me know if you or anyone here wants to be friends while we do this thing.

    This!

    I also struggle with depression. It slowly started taking over my life, and in the last year or two, the weight has really piled on. This year I have been more committed to getting healthy and happy a natural way, without meds. I still have very difficult days,weeks,ect... but Here are a couple tips that have helped me:

    *Get exercise. Schedule it, and do it like it was your job. No excuses, just do it! I started by wearing my workout clothes to bed, and setting my alarm out in the hallway to get myself out of bed. After awhile, it just became habit, and I felt better all day when I got that workout in. Also made me less tempted to "cheat", as I didn't want to undo all that work with crappy eating.

    *When I go grocery shopping, I do my best to go when I am in a good mood, and not hungry :wink: If I go grocery shopping when I am down, and in my "I hate me, and I hate the world" kinds of moods, I just need to not go shopping.....crappy mood+grocery shopping= CRAPPY FOOD in my house. And if it is there, I will eat it. Some say not to restrict yourself, but if I don't restrict, I tend to over do it, eat a whole pizza or bag of dove chocolates and my self-loathing just gets worse....If i am surrounded by beautiful healthy foods, I eat beautiful healthy foods! :happy:

    *Pick up some MFP friends who share the same concerns as you. I have some friends in my list that have been very supportive and understanding. They can be just the pick-me-up you need when you feel like you just can't do it anymore. My MFP friends know more about my problems than my friends and family do, and quite frankly, they are way more supportive too!!

    ETA: Please feel free to add me!
  • Sedna_51
    Sedna_51 Posts: 277 Member
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    YES WALKING. Walking, walking, walking! One of my favorite things to do. And I want to also second bah_bug's great suggestion of finding things to do with your hands if you're at all inclined! I learned how to crochet and knit a few years ago, and it helps so much on a bunch of levels- it keeps my hands busy so I'm not tempted to snack, it's very soothing (unless I have a hard pattern, grr), and I feel like I've accomplished something after I work at it.

    Also, I have totally inched my way into multiple workouts on bad days by saying to myself, "You don't have to go for a walk today. Just change your clothes and put on your shoes. That's it." "You don't have to do Pilates today. Just lay your mat out on the ground." And then, hey, once I've done that thing, I might as well do a /little/ something, and then a little bit more, okay, and not infrequently I wind up doing what I'd planned to do.
  • amandzor
    amandzor Posts: 386 Member
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    After losing my job, transportation and having an unstable living situation, depression consumed me. I lost all the progress I'd made in the gym over the last few months (40+ pound loss) by eating my feelings, trying to feel better.

    Finally, I decided enough was enough, I went to the doctor, got a mild mood stabilizer (Lamicital) at a very low dosage, which helped -so- much.

    I was able to find a job, joined another gym, found a new place to live and got myself back on tracking food and exercising regularly.

    Depression definitely sometimes means one step forward and two steps back. But there's always hope if you can battle that need to "give up" and "give in" to food.

    Good luck on your journey! I'm rooting for you!
  • amandzor
    amandzor Posts: 386 Member
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    Get exercise. Schedule it, and do it like it was your job. No excuses, just do it! I started by wearing my workout clothes to bed, and setting my alarm out in the hallway to get myself out of bed. After awhile, it just became habit, and I felt better all day when I got that workout in. Also made me less tempted to "cheat", as I didn't want to undo all that work with crappy eating.

    ^^ This. I purposely picked a gym in between my workplace and home. I have no excuse to drive by it and -not- stop to workout. It's just an extension of my workday now. A requirement or I don't get "paid" (with the satisfaction of a healthy, happy body)
  • EvelynBfly78
    EvelynBfly78 Posts: 240 Member
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    This is a great topic. So much good stuff in this thread. I also suffer from depression & am on meds. Recently one of them was increased & some weight has crept back. I never believed people when they said their meds made them gain or lose weight until it happened to me. I'm no doctor but I know sometimes it can change your metabolism. And I can certainly identify with being an emotional eater also.
    Distracting yourself off your problems & doing something like reading, watching TV, going for a walk, sewing, knitting, etc can help. I like to walk. I take my dog for a 2-1/2 mile walk every morning. She gets her exercise & so do I. That's one of the things that works for me. Sewing is another. And talking to the doctor about your situation will help too.
    You've got a lot of good suggestions in these posts. You'll find what works for you.
    Good luck!
  • shafa4321
    shafa4321 Posts: 132 Member
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    GREAT POINT
    You can't rely on "motivation". Motivation is short lived and fickle. Eventually you have to do things because that is what you have to do to get to your goal. You need to eat fewer crisps and chocolate and eat healthier at home not because of some "motivation", but because this is your body, your one shot at life, and you do it. Do you brush your teeth? Are you motivated to do it? No. We do it because of habit and so you don't lose all your teeth by the time you turn fifty. There comes a point at which you have to be real with yourself and say I have to do this just like I have to brush my teeth, motivation be d****d. It is hard. I won't lie. It is really hard to deal with weight loss and depression. I had a hideous time trying to deal with it when I was depressed. What I learned is that you just have to do it regardless of motivation.

    Start with changing one small thing. Once that is habit, add another small change. Don't overhaul everything at once. Few people, especially when depressed, can do that. Success with small changes helps you gain control. Success breeds success. Give yourself those small successes that you can feel good about, and eventually you will reach your goal.
  • Chevy_Quest
    Chevy_Quest Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Bump because this is a really constructive and helpful thread! :drinker:
  • AprilJane1522
    AprilJane1522 Posts: 8
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    St Johns wort is a good and natural way to ease depression. It works to level your bodies normal processes and might even help with your diet.
    Its used in a range of things and was recommended on dc oz.
    I used it for depression, anxiety, panic attacks and insomnia.
    My mother uses it for panic attacks as well.
    You have to ask before you use it though because it can react badly with some drugs.
  • mrogers52
    mrogers52 Posts: 378 Member
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    Most helpful thread I have ever read! I am approaching this weight loss as one meal at a time. Thanks to everyone:flowerforyou:
  • cmdoiy
    cmdoiy Posts: 122 Member
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    I feel like I also could've written this post. I've suffered from depression since my teens, and I'm now 37. I was 184 in November. I stepped on the scale this morning at 205.8. I'm feeling extremely discouraged, but I don't want to give up altogether.

    Please feel free to friend me (everyone who has responded to this thread). Maybe we can support one another.

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