4 Month Progress with pic!

So this is my first time ever posting, even though I have been on mfp for a couple of years now. I'm not one to be super active on forums but I do spend quite a bit of time searching and reading through posts, whether it be for motivation, tips, or recipes. One big thing I've noticed since being here is that self doubt and lack of motivation seem to both stem from people thinking that living a healthy lifestyle is far more complicated than it actually is! It's hard, it's a lot of work, and people feel defeated. I wanted to post my progress and story in hopes of showing people that it doesn't have to be that way! For the record, I am no professional or expert by any means, and like usual this is what has worked for me. It may not be for everyone!

Let's start out by saying that I have been overweight my entire life, the older I got, the more weight I gained. Even being in multiple dance classes since I was 5 and being part of a highly competitive volleyball league as well as high school league for 4 years didn't seem to make the pounds budge. Sifting through all my excuses, there is only one real reason for this - terrible nutrition. Honestly, I never ever cared about what I ate. Back then, nutrition was a foreign subject to me and I had never really thought about or cared how what I was consuming could actually affect my body and health. The real hit to my health came when I became of legal age and alcohol became a regular part of my "diet". Once again, didn't think twice about what I was doing to myself. I was having too much fun going out with friends and being completely care free. Then, to make my story even more cookie cutter, enter - bad relationships. The people I dated didn't approve of me going out so much, so I became a homebody. You would think that even at least cutting out the alcohol would have made an improvement, but all I did was trade one vice for another. Staying home and ordering pizza and late night trips to the convenience store was my new "going out". This similar relationship repeated itself once more, and when that was over, I decided I was now just going to focus on myself and that I didn't have room in my life for another relationship. The subject of health still being alien to me, my solution of course was to turn to fads and "quick fixes". I tried meal replacement programs, at home workout videos, weight loss pills, EVERYTHING. It became clear to me very quickly that I lacked the self discipline needed to do this at home and on my own. Defeated, I had given up once again and surprise surprise - back to partying I went! It wasn't until almost a year later that I met my current boyfriend (of 3 years now) and that moment is the one that has changed my life forever. During our relationship we have tried a couple times to get into the gym and focus on good nutrition, it'll last maybe 2 months then kind of just fades out. Can't even tell you how many times I've tried and failed at logging calories. At the end of August 2013, the business I was working for closed its doors, and I applied for employment insurance. I was kind of relieved and excited when I was approved, after doing the same job since I was 14 years old it was a welcome break from the working world and I thought I would spend my newly acquired free time trying things that I had always felt "too busy" to do. When the cold weather started and winter was well on its way, I pulled out last years winter jacket to take my dog for a walk. There was an element of shock when I couldn't get the zipper done up because it was too small. I wasn't shocked because I had no idea I was still gaining weight, I was shocked because there I was, finally face to face with the one thing I tried to ignore. The loose fitting baggy clothes I tried to hide under were no longer satisfying me. I felt disgusting and unlovable, not understanding how my boyfriend would want to be with someone like me. Everyday was the same: "I'll start tomorrow". We spent Christmas over indulging with family, and soon creeping up was New Years and then 2 days after, my birthday. I made a promise to myself that the day after my birthday is when I start my new lifestyle and that I wouldn't accept anymore excuses from myself. Guess what? For once in my life I have kept this promise to myself. I stayed true to my word and haven't looked back because I know more than anything that I WANT THIS. And I know this because I have made sacrifices now, including friends, that I would have never given up before. If I had this mindset years ago, I could have saved myself a lot of struggle and depression, but I am also grateful for it because it reminds me that I never want to be in that place ever ever ever again. My boyfriend is my biggest supporter and is just so encouraging and helpful, even though I started the change on my own, he has taken on healthy eating as well and now we have both completely revamped our lifestyles!
I see posts like this all the time and I'm going to add to it - If I can do it, SO CAN YOU!! Plagued by bad genes where I only gain and carry weight on my stomach and back, and being uneducated about health, I still pulled through! What you think you're capable of is entirely up to you, and I know most of you underestimate yourselves. WELL STOP! You have the power to change! All you have to do is take that first step and commit to yourself. Remember the big picture but celebrate your little victories as well!


Now, I know this kind of defeats the purpose of having mfp, but the number one thing that I'm not doing this time around is: calorie counting. I know I know, crazy right? But this is the thing: I've realized that the main component in all my failures had been the obsessive habits I develop with regards to my eating and calorie counting. I was extremely restrictive and if I went over or ate something bad I would freak out and quit. Every. Single. Time. And in the online fitness world of "count your calories and count your macros", I thought that was the only way. IT'S NOT! I am not bashing calorie counting by any means, it is a fantastic way to track your intake and hold yourself accountable! It's unfortunately just not for me. So, when I started at the beginning of this year, I decided that I wanted this to be simple and that I didn't need to think so hard and stress myself out so much. I started by eliminating processed junk food from my home and started introducing more fresh produce and whole foods. I ditched juices for water and nutrient dense smoothies. Healthier choices and cutting back on take out came surprisingly easy, so I knew my method of ditching meal schedules, calorie counting, as well as not measuring and weighing food was working. I was anxious for the true test though - would I finally be able to start dropping weight? I took most of January to try and focus solely on nutrition because that was the hardest part of the lifestyle for me. Once I was satisfied, my boyfriend and I signed up for gym memberships! It wasn't as intimidating because I had been to the gym a lot during my try and fail period, and had done some heavy lifting during those times as well. So I went in there armed with a basic 3-day a week heavy lifting routine and began. That is ALL I've done and I only introduced C25K on my off days 4 weeks ago. And now, months later, for the first time in my overweight life I see change. I didn't want to take a before picture because I didn't want to see what I truly looked like, but if I hadn't then I don't think I would realize how far I have come! I have a long long way to go, but I'm okay with that! The strength I have is already enough motivation to keep going. I want to be strong, I want to be healthy. I deserve it and so do you!


I should add for those that wonder - YES I have cheat meals! I think I would go crazy without being able to have a teen burger at least occasionally haha. To be completely honest, I have my cheat meal saved for the weekend, BUT if at some point I decide I want some chocolate or want to have orange juice with breakfast instead of water, I do it and MOVE ON! I don't think twice about it. Not denying myself certain foods has really taken the pressure off and I don't feel restricted. Moderation and portion control are your friends!

Sorry for such a long post. I've never shared this story anywhere before, I'm just hoping it gives someone that little boost they might be needing

Edit: I am also very "anti-scale" because I determine my progress by body composition not how much I weigh. I did weigh myself at the beginning at a scary 196 lbs and I did a random weigh a couple weeks ago at 175 lbs for those that are still curious though.