I keep deleting my account!

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Hi everyone! I'm a rising college sophomore trying to lose about 40 pounds. I started a couple months ago and I always do well the first week but then I end up messing up/binging and deleting my account, then starting over! By the end of the semester/finals week I would make an account and then delete it the same day. Stress would always cause me to overeat in the dining halls, especially because I would pull all-nighters and that just messes up everything. Well now it's summer and I deleted my account yesterday that I've had for a week because I ended up overeating by about 1000 calories. I've done this maybe 7-8 times now. I know I should just keep going instead of deleting my account but the perfectionist in me tells me I can start over and do it *right* ... has anyone else had this problem/does anyone have advice? Also if anyone wants to add me as a friend and help me hold myself accountable this time, that would be great, thanks!!! :)

Replies

  • Heatherybit
    Heatherybit Posts: 91 Member
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    Difference between exceptionalism and perfectionism is that exceptionalist get stuff done!

    One bad performance doesn't set the trend... giving up does. Own up to your mistakes and learn from them. If you don't log your food..all of it, you will never learn what are your triggers, what are your go-tos, etc..which means you'll never find the balance that's right for you. You have to make mistakes while on MFP to know how to make right decision.
  • Linnaea27
    Linnaea27 Posts: 639 Member
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    Difference between exceptionalism and perfectionism is that exceptionalist get stuff done!

    One bad performance doesn't set the trend... giving up does. Own up to your mistakes and learn from them. If you don't log your food..all of it, you will never learn what are your triggers, what are your go-tos, etc..which means you'll never find the balance that's right for you. You have to make mistakes while on MFP to know how to make right decision.

    She's right. :)

    You don't have to allow anyone else to see your diary-- you can keep it completely private, so even your MFP friends won't see it. Then, if this is a problem of feeling weird about other people seeing your mistakes, you won't have to worry anymore!

    But it is important to be accountable to yourself. And part of what becomes really fascinating and informative about being on here and logging correctly is the data that builds up over time-- you learn a lot about yourself. Not just how much you need to eat to lose weight, but also the sorts of foods that make you feel best, what kinds of events affect your eating, and what kind of timing for eating different stuff is the best for your body.

    Lack of sleep causes excess hunger/binging sometimes-- so you should have it a little easier now that school's not in session! Plus take the opportunity the summer gives you to get into better habits that you won't want to break once you're back at school in the fall.

    It sounds like you might have a bit of a problem with obsessive behavior, or else you are eating too little in hopes of losing faster. Eating too little (being far under your losing-weight calorie goal each day, or just setting your weight loss to go faster than is suitable for the amount you have to lose) definitely is a big cause of binging!

    Sounds like it would be good for you to investigate the cause of your binging first. Logging on the same account day after day will help. But it's your choice whether to use the site the way it was intended, or not.
  • Linnaea27
    Linnaea27 Posts: 639 Member
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    Have you seen the Sexypants thread? If so, give it another read. If not, it's incredible helpful info and, if you follow its advice, will increase your chances of success greatly. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    we all mess up if that helps. I log when I do bad also. I weigh when I do bad. lIke the saying says dust yourself off and get going again, no need to delete and be perfect none of us are.
  • Chevy_Quest
    Chevy_Quest Posts: 2,012 Member
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    I keep my diary locked and I don't apologize for that. I love looking back at the times I fell "off the wagon".
    That is why keeping your account through all the warts and imperfections is so important. I am in a "good run" right now, but as recently as two weeks ago I was totally "off the tracks".

    By looking at patterns from 2months ago, a year ago.. I am starting to see what happens when I do "lose sight" of what my goals are.

    Good luck and keep reading! :smile:
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    If you keep the evidence from when you mess up, you'll be better equipped to improve. Nobody ever got better at something by ignoring what they did wrong.
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
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    we all mess up if that helps. I log when I do bad also. I weigh when I do bad. lIke the saying says dust yourself off and get going again, no need to delete and be perfect none of us are.

    Yep!!

    We all mess up, we all make mistakes. It happens. All you can do is move on and do better next time. You live, you learn.
  • DeltaZero
    DeltaZero Posts: 1,197 Member
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    #MFP Problems.
  • shireeniebeanie
    shireeniebeanie Posts: 293 Member
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    Plus, if it makes you feel better, you can add a note at the bottom of the page so you can remember what was going on that day:
    "Tried out the new Mexican place" or "Date at the ballpark" or "X happened and I ate my feelings!"

    It's a diary. Use it however you want.
  • mimi14fun
    mimi14fun Posts: 38 Member
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    Hi 2 June you will learn as you travel through life that NObody is perfect. Can you imagine how boring such a person would be. We all need each other. Please add me as a friend if you like, I am an older very imperfect lady
  • silvanshadow
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    Hey! I'm a rising college sophomore too and I have had this problem before. This is my fourth or fifth time making an account on MFP, and I have always deleted them because I wanted to see that "perfect" record on here.

    What has been helping me is understanding that even if I overeat by 500 or 1000 calories one day, it is not the end of the world - it wouldn't even make me gain a pound or even half a pound if I got back on track the next day. It would not further my weight loss goals, but it wouldn't destroy everything either. If I get up to around 2000 calories I make myself remember that that's what my body burns just by sitting and walking around every day.

    Sometimes when I see the MFP calorie counter hit red numbers, it's my motivation to go for a run right that second. And then, when I add the exercise calories, everything is well in the world again.

    Accountability helps as well. I will be checking in with a trainer every two weeks this summer and he will see my overall progress, not my daily screw-ups. A friend that you go to the gym with every few weeks and do a workout together can help. Friends on MFP are always helpful (at least they were to me when I tried previously). You get the idea. You can also add me if you like.

    Good luck!
  • jstout365
    jstout365 Posts: 1,686 Member
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    You don't have to be perfect, you have to be persistent and patient. You gain nothing by avoiding the fact that you go over your calories by deleting your account. Life doesn't let you hit a reset button every time you don't do something perfectly. Take the good and the bad and continue to move forward towards your goals. Everyone has the days where they eat over their calories, but learning from it is the only way to improve and do better the next day.

    You can reach your goals if you just keep at it and allow for the fact that you are not perfect and your diary doesn't need to be either. Focus on today. Try to make it better than the day before knowing that you will have another opportunity to improve again the next day.
  • PinkCupcakes84
    PinkCupcakes84 Posts: 235 Member
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    What a total waste of usernames

    Good luck op.
  • crazygreenlady
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    I would echo what most others have said. I also log everything, good and bad, and it helps me learn about myself and make better choices in the future. Also, I give myself 1 cheat meal per week, which helps me feel less deprived. I try to keep the portions reasonable, but I eat whatever I want. Sometimes I am a pound heavier the next day, but I'm always right back on my plan, so the weight comes right off again. Basically, I plan my "mistakes" or "falling off the wagon", which means I don't feel like a failure afterwards. Nobody's perfect - try to embrace it!
  • 2june14
    2june14 Posts: 2
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    YOU ARE ALL SO AMAZING! thank you so much. this is just what i needed to hear. I do think that I have obsessive behavior when it comes to food and I need to evaluate that. It's actually a problem both my mother and I have and I'm worried that it'll pass onto my little sister. I need to start setting a good example for her by holding myself accountable and not trying to do everything perfectly. I just feel really relieved to have found a supportive community in this forum!
  • jillyrobb
    jillyrobb Posts: 36 Member
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    Unless they've had some kind of major wakeup call like a health scare, most people find it impossible to stick with a wholesale, sweeping change of their lifestyle. You're definitely not alone there!

    So as others have said, start with small changes. If it's making you really anxious, maybe don't even log for the first few weeks, until you've built up a few small victories and gained some confidence that you really *can* make healthy changes to your lifestyle and still keep up with all the work and fun of college!

    Try starting with changing just *one* thing per week (or two, if you need more time to make it a habit), and adding a new change each week while maintaing the old ones: Things like smaller servings of your usual stuff, or leaving extra time to walk to class instead of sleeping late and grabbing the bus. Bring a healthy snack to munch on during your next all-nighter, like plain popcorn (I like air-popped with a butter-flavored spray and kettle corn seasoning) or edamame in the shell. Or see if there's a way you can start planning ahead before you head to the dining hall. Is there a website where you can check calorie counts, find daily menus, etc.? If you know what to expect and can identify a few good choices, it's easier to avoid the pitfalls when you get there.

    But whenever you do start logging again, it's super-important that you don't think of the log as a reflection of your success or failure. It's not a REPORT CARD, it's a TOOL. (Apologies for shouting, but it's an important distinction!) It's a TOOL to help you identify what works and what doesn't for your own lifestyle and your own realities.

    If, after a few weeks of logging honestly and faithfully, you realize that the bulk of your calories come from snacks, then you can make that your next incremental change. If you see that you eat more calories at dinner on the days you can't eat until after 7, then try grabbing a small snack on the way to your 5:00 class for the next couple of weeks and see if that helps. If you notice that when you eat with certain friends your calories spiral out of control, see if you can figure out why and tackle that next.

    Trust me--I hated seeing the proof of my own lack of willpower right there in front of me! But when I reframed my relationship with logging, I was able to figure out a way to adjust my habits, a little at a time, without feeling too deprived or setting off a spiral of shame and binging. Use the log to help you figure out where you can make sustainable changes within your particular lifestyle, not as a reflection of your success or failure on any given day.

    And can you check with your school's health center to see if they have any resources that might help you with your issues with perfectionism and maybe even anxiety? Even a good group session might help you see that you're not alone. (MFP is also great for that!)

    Good luck!
  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
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    Hi everyone! I'm a rising college sophomore trying to lose about 40 pounds. I started a couple months ago and I always do well the first week but then I end up messing up/binging and deleting my account, then starting over! By the end of the semester/finals week I would make an account and then delete it the same day. Stress would always cause me to overeat in the dining halls, especially because I would pull all-nighters and that just messes up everything. Well now it's summer and I deleted my account yesterday that I've had for a week because I ended up overeating by about 1000 calories. I've done this maybe 7-8 times now. I know I should just keep going instead of deleting my account but the perfectionist in me tells me I can start over and do it *right* ... has anyone else had this problem/does anyone have advice? Also if anyone wants to add me as a friend and help me hold myself accountable this time, that would be great, thanks!!! :)
    No one can hold you accountable and make you do this. You create an account because you see that you need to make a change. You keep deleting your account because you are not ready to take charge of your health yet. Deleting the account doesn't erase your bad day.

    Maybe instead of deleting the account, just step away until you are ready? :flowerforyou: