misplaced anger

Forty two pounds is not chump change so to speak. Think of your husband. Think of your doctor. Think of how far you have come. Stop thinking about your sister - we cannot pick our relatives. I can understand why it is irritating but do not let it sabotage you.

Use it as your motivation to prove you don't need any damn surgery! You got the willpower and you are fabulous, and you can do this on your own!

I like the you did it faster, but I did it better mentality. But just the mentality, no need to start any fights by saying it, lol.

Just quoting lyrics here but:

Don't waste your time on jealousy;
Sometimes you're ahead,
Sometimes You're behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

I totally understand where you're coming from. I have a difficult relationship with my sister too. The race IS long. You are doing this for yourself, in the best possible way FOR YOURSELF, and hopefully with the best long-term outcome too. Try to put her from your head, and when you work out how, let me know

Think of the tiny portions she is stuck with for the rest of her life... and, if I remember, aren't food choices quite limited for her as well?
Also, I think you're right in feeling like she cheated, because she has! You're putting in the hard work and that's something to be proud of!! Keep going!!

I actually have been through what you are dealing with now.

My sister was extremely large (300+lbs), had gastric and now is itty bitty. I've ALWAYS had to work hard to lose &/or maintain (its always been a battle) while she's eaten whatever, whenever for as long as I can remember. And it wasn't just the eating, she also literally did NOTHING but be on the computer, watch tv and eat.

While I constantly thought of what to eat for a balanced nutrition (ie portion control, do I really want that, etc) and workout all the time (which I enjoy but its HARD WORK!), she's never had to do a lick of that. Even now, sure, she can't have soda, but she still eats whatever she wants but it only takes a fraction of what she was eating to feel full. That would NEVER happen for me. So yea, that 1/2 of a cookie is great for you, I would need 5 to have the same "full" effect. Just using this as an example.

Anyways, I too felt like she cheated. She got a tremendous amount of recognition and praise for the losing the weight and that didn't happen for me. Jealousy? A person might call it that, but I don't know if I would. When my sister was at her heaviest, I never put her down or said ANYTHING about her weight unless she brought the subject up and asked for advice etc. But now that she's so small, its almost like she throws it in my face that she wears smaller clothes than me, going on and on about how she gets so much attention (which shes married mind you) etc. Really, WHO CARES! But for some reason, for a little while, it all got under my skin.

Maybe it was because of our past. Maybe it was because I had worked hard for something and yet this was ONE MORE THING that came easy for her. Maybe it was because I WANTED to be where she was at. Maybe it was a mixture of a lot of things.

All I can say is that now, almost a year later? Guess who is still a great weight, physically fit and rockin this body of mine? ME!!!
And sadly, because she never learned anything, guess who isn't? My sister.

You have learned and gained SO MUCH through the process YOU are following. Don't doubt that, don't regret that and don't envy an easier process. I promise you that this will fade. It truly isn't the fact that she lost weight, its just one more notch in that hook of a lifetime of separation.

Good thing? You've acknowledged this feeling, you feel the anger/hurt/sadness/frustration ... and now its time to let that go, turn it around and put that energy right back into YOU!!!

The faster you lose weight, the more likely it can come back on. The slower you lose it, the more sustainable it is.

That is what I would think about.

Oh bless you, I can understand this totally.

It feels very unfair that someone is having it happen so easy when it literally is like an uphill struggle for you (as it is for most people).

I don't personally subscribe to the belief that losing weight following a Gastric Band fitting is "cheating" as there may be serious reasons why this was needed but for some people, the surgery isn't necessary but is opted for.

Losing weight is an emotive process and you're going to feel upset for a while because your expectations have changed.

Consider this - why are you losing weight? Who is the weight-loss for? Why did you begin this journey?

Refocus your attention onto your progress. You are doing very well and you are doing it on your terms.

Keep your chin up and persevere Hun, you can do this :-)

Kaela x

My sister, who I was very close to, recently lost her battle with Leukemia. Every moment of every day, I miss her. Maybe you should consider repairing your relationship with your sister. Perhaps it would then make the weight loss less of a competition (sibling rivalry at it's finest! ) and it could become something you can share. Then it wouldn't matter how either of you lost it, but that you're positive support for each other. Best of luck in your weight loss journey!

Comparison is the thief of joy. Be happy for yourself, be happy for her. Even though it may seem like she cheated, surgery isn't really a cakewalk. I'm sure she's had her own struggles and moments where she's wished she'd have done it your way, so find a way to be happy with your path and choices and don't worry about how she's achieved her goals. Congrats on your new-found health!