misplaced anger

Be proud of your accomplishments. And at same time be glad that she did something for her health too. In the end it all works out. You will both get to your goals. Just different routes.

Hope my explanation below may help lessen the anger you feel about it.

Gastric Sleeve/bypass is not as easy as many think. First you have to go through many classes. It takes about six months or more. You meet with nutritionist, the doctor and even psychologists. Even go to nutrition classes.

You have to keep food diary and have to lose a certain amount of weight during that six months. Month beforehand you have to follow some severe different diets. Forget exactly but a couple weeks before I think it is a liquid diet. Many lose a good 10-20% before the surgery is even done. Afterwards you are on a liquid diet for about a week. Building up to solid foods. It can take months. That is why they lose so quick at first.

From what I gathered you have a window to maximize the loss. Once that window closes the stomach does stretch enough that the person does have to put effort into losing the rest. My doctor was saying that the weight loss before the surgery plus the "forced" weight loss afterwards will give people enough of a jump in the right direction they can see the end and stay motivated. It is a tool not a solution.

How do I know so much? Was approved for the gastric sleeve and went through the whole process but changed my mind. Main reasons?

#1 - Others think it is easy way out . Worried I would feel shame for losing weight that way and emotionally eat more.
#2 - The thought of never eating a big huge salad made me depressed!
#3 - Being vitamin deficient for life. Was B and D deficient in the past. Caused health issues. Don't ever want to be that again.
#4 - Complications. If something went wrong I could be worse off and gain more. Or die!

So you get a boost but in the big picture I thought it was easier to just get committed to changing my life by choice rather than having it change because my body was surgically changed.

My sister, who I was very close to, recently lost her battle with Leukemia. Every moment of every day, I miss her. Maybe you should consider repairing your relationship with your sister. Perhaps it would then make the weight loss less of a competition (sibling rivalry at it's finest! ) and it could become something you can share. Then it wouldn't matter how either of you lost it, but that you're positive support for each other. Best of luck in your weight loss journey!

This.

One day, she'll be gone.

Let those negative feelings go, focus on your loss and try to find some common ground with her, so you both can celebrate your successes.

The enemy of happiness is envy

just my .02, hope it helps

She did cheat and your success will be earned through hard work. Plus give her a few years the weight will come back always does. Most gbs patients don't change their diet lifestyle after surgery and put most of the weight back on.

This is quite possibly the most ignorant thing I have read in a long time. Thanks for the laugh.

You and I might be related! LOL

I have been considering surgery since April 2011. My doctor told me to lose 90 pounds before he'd do it. We'll, I started losing weight, and lost the 90 pounds. At that point I was like, "Well, I've lost 90 pounds...if I've come this far, why not try to go farther and see if I can do this without it?"

To me this makes sense. FOR ME. My doctor said most people only lose about 30 pounds and can't get past it, so then they have surgery. It's not a cheater's way out. It's because they need it because for some reason or another they needed something more (could be thyroid issues, hormone issues, diabetics, could be a whole slew of reasons) to help them lose weight.

Of course, I have a hormone disorder that makes it difficult for me to lose weight too. So, the more I do this, the more I wonder how much the hormones and other issues really contribute to weight loss difficulty.....I think it has more to do with nutritional ignorance and/or not being able to control the inner child and/or just having hurt feelings about SOMETHING - like when I was holding on to being ticked that it seemed like so many other people could eat whatever they wanted without any consequence.

Ugh. RABBIT TRAIL....

Anyway....I know it's hard not to be pissed that you feel like you're working harder at it than she did, or that she's "cheating her way out of the hard work" - fact of the matter is, you're changing your habits because you want to. She's now in a position of changing her habits because she HAS to. It's a forced change. It's not all bunnies and butterflies to go that route.

You have to come to terms with the fact that that is her route. Just like your path isn't hers. Your path is different than hers. She's doing what she needs to do for her to be able to lose weight. You're doing what you need to do. It doesn't matter how long it takes her to get to where she wants to be or you to get where you want to be - it's not a race. Best thing is, you can both win even though you have different paths!!

One of the things my therapist and I keep talking about is that the last year was particularly hard for me -speed bumps all over the place. I told him that I felt like if I got the surgery, then I'll have failed. He keeps telling me the same things I just told you. It isn't failure - it's a tool. Just like when you need a hole in the wall, the best tool is a drill.

Focus on your journey. Other people can do whatever they want on their journey, and that was where her journey led her. The decisions she made were based on what was best FOR HER. You're making decisions based on what's best for YOU. Don't let what she does on her path derail you from yours!

My sister, who I was very close to, recently lost her battle with Leukemia. Every moment of every day, I miss her. Maybe you should consider repairing your relationship with your sister. Perhaps it would then make the weight loss less of a competition (sibling rivalry at it's finest! ) and it could become something you can share. Then it wouldn't matter how either of you lost it, but that you're positive support for each other. Best of luck in your weight loss journey!

This!! Refuse the negative. Idk what I would do without my sisters. Nobody is perfect. Accept her, accept yourself. Love her, love yourself. When her faults rear their ugly head, realize that none of us are perfect.

She did cheat and your success will be earned through hard work. Plus give her a few years the weight will come back always does. Most gbs patients don't change their diet lifestyle after surgery and put most of the weight back on.

+1

She did cheat and your success will be earned through hard work. Plus give her a few years the weight will come back always does. Most gbs patients don't change their diet lifestyle after surgery and put most of the weight back on.

This is quite possibly the most ignorant thing I have read in a long time. Thanks for the laugh.

I disagree..she is right for the majority...There is a small percentage of people that follow the diet after surgery but for the most part they go eat the stuff they became obese on. GBS requires a high protein diet. The two things they push the most are protein and water. Most GPS patients don't get enough so they end up with hair loss or thinning, muscle loss, and they start to put weight back on because they don't have enough LBM to even process the small amounts they are consuming. My husbands best friend broke his ankle and tore ligaments walking down a flight of stairs in his house because he didn't have enough muscle mass or ligament strength to keep his ankle from turning every time he had a downstep..and this was after a 230lb weight loss...if you don't follow the lifestyle changes and make it a permanent change...the weight will come back on..maybe not all of it, but a significant portion.

Watch her eat sometime. Watch as she has tiny portions of food because eating any more will cause her physical pain. Not because she has the willpower to eat moderately. She gave up and said she has no control over her own eating, so she had a surgeon slice her open and hack away at her insides.

She'll generally be too weak to exercise. She'll lose lots of muscle along with fat. She'll have digestive issues and other physical problems.

And you'll keep losing weight on your own terms. You can still eat the foods you want. You can fuel your body properly and have a good workout. You can build muscle. You can be fit and happy and know that you did it all yourself. Your weightloss won't be because of some surgical procedure. It'll be because of the work you put in.

This ^^

She did cheat and your success will be earned through hard work. Plus give her a few years the weight will come back always does. Most gbs patients don't change their diet lifestyle after surgery and put most of the weight back on.

Most people put most of the weight back on after any type of weight loss. But, I'm not sure statistics would support the notion that those who have surgery have a higher rate of regain.

I don't know how surgery could be considered cheating. What rule did she break?